Illness is not a problem.  You are the problem- as long as the egoic mind is in control. When you are ill or disabled do not feel like you have failed in some way, do not feel guilty.  Do not blame life for treating you unfairly, but do not blame yourself either. All that is resistance…..Anything “bad” that happens in your life-use it for enlightenment.  Withdraw time from the illness.  Do not give it any past or future. Let it force you into intense present-moment awareness-and see what happens.
(Tolle, E. (1999) The power of Now. New World Library: Novato)


That is what I am doing...what I have always been  doing (or at least trying)...to let this illness or whatever you describe it as...to force me into present moment awareness.  I want to use it for enlightenment.  Enlightenment is the goal for all of us...if we know it or not.  Maybe this illness is giving me a short cut there.

Illness is not a problem...my egoic mind is the problem.  It feeds me with all this guilt and shame about not working and about "wimping out".  It tells me I should push, push, push and keep going no matter how bad I feel.  When I can't keep up with its demands I feel shame and guilt because I perceive failure.  It is not my physical limitations that are making me feel guilty but how I "think" about them.  I just have to change the thinking.  That is all I ever had to do.

All is well in my world.