Walking the Way

In every walk with nature man receives far more than he seeks.
John Muir

Want to go for a  Nice Long Walk?

Have you ever wanted to complete a pilgrimage somewhere, for some higher reason that wanting feet full of blisters and a few photo ops?

I have had dreams ever since I was small of me walking, and walking, and walking...I was heading somewhere but in my dreams I never knew where.  I just knew I had some important place to go but more importantly I knew every step I was walking counted.  I wrote a poem about those walks when I was 18 or 19  entitled The Journey.  I am not sure if I have a copy of it anywhere now but it spoke of the importance of each step as opposed to the destination.  Hmm!

I watched the documentary on Netflix last evening about  12 men (significant and traditionally very Catholic lol) who walked the Way of Saint James in Spain...550 miles over something like 40 days. I got inspired again.  Man... if I don't stop getting inspired  my head is going to spin like a top right off of my shoulders. lol

Putting Aside the  "I Can't" ?

I would love to do something like that...but I am thinking of reasons why I can't instead of reasons why I can.  The big can't comes in my body limits....I tell myself that my heart won't let me walk that distance especially up steep inclines and in high altitudes.  Secondly, I tell myself if I bring my camera I will never get to my destination in 40 days ...I would be stopping and clicking every mile lol...I am not sure I could curb my obsession enough to focus on the steps. Thirdly, my present financial situations does not allow for flights to Europe lol.

Yet ...I would love what I imagine a pilgrimage does...puts you in present moment, in the here and now, in nature, in quiet, and brings you inside!!! It is a spiritual feat not a physical one.  It is healing and life expanding. 

Which way would I go if I could?  Though I would love to see that part of Spain in the way of Saint James...I would be more inclined to walk the Way of Saint Francis because I relate to him more.  Of course...it is much more of a steep way...less than ticker friendly. 

I tell myself ...if there is a will, there is a way.  I would like to find that way...I would like to find my way.  Hmmm!  Something to think about.

Side Note about Motivation

Oh...I am writing, btw, an article on Pensee 139 and sitting still.  It is coming slowly because I get more and more fascinated with Pascal's thinking as I read...connecting dots that seem to connect so well in my mind but possibly nowhere else. lol.

Sent another article out somewhere without adhering to the writer's guidelines...to query first.  I just felt compelled to send it out as is.  So I did...I am usually so good about the etiquette of submitting...but not yesterday lol. 

It is all good.  Things will be as they are meant to be.

All is well in my world.

Check these out:
http://www.italymagazine.com/featured-story/way-st-francis-walking-550-kilometers-along-one-worlds-greatest-pilgrimages

https://www.backroads.com/trips/WSTI/portugal-spain-walking-trip?c=w&p=D486&se=google&st=&adca=Europe%20Walking%20Tours&adgr=way%20of%20st%20james%20Walking%20Tours&gclid=COK9qO2UsdUCFRC5wAod5ZABog

The Inspiration of Truth

We know truth not only by reason but also by the heart.
Blaise Pascal


Inspired to truly understand  Pascal's Pensee 139 ...
Which came from being inspired by that quote of his I found and shared  a few posts ago...
Which came from my inspiration to understand the importance of stillness and quiet...
Which came from my inspiration  to be still more often: to meditate; be mindful be or over do ...
Which came from my inspiration to find the Purusa or the ultimate truth about Self...
Which came from my desire and inspiration  to get beyond  ego's pathological hold on me......
Which came from the inspiration  relayed by all the mentors and teachers, books, articles, videos that keep showing up in my life...the message that we can end suffering my getting past the ego...
Which came from the inspiration for change that suffering offers  ...
Which came from the inspiration of my perception of suffering...
Which came from the inspiration offered by the realization that I could not end suffering through physical world diversion as I was trying to do for years...
Which brings me right back to my inspiration to understand Pensee 139 lol. 
My inspiration has created one big beautiful circle of learning.  :)

How cool is that?

All is well in my world.

Inspiration or Motivation? What do We Need to Write?

Inspiration is being inspired by a person or an idea.  Motivation is being inspired by an object. When people are inspired, they don't need motivation.

Thomas Leonard

Ummm! If this is true why did I not feel motivated over the course of the week to write an article and send it off? lol.  Without the motivation to act the inspiration just bubbled within me. It is still there, bubbling and fermenting...waiting to be baked into something the world can eat. :) It is going to take some action on my part.  Don't I need some motivation to act?

I was certainly inspired this week.  I was inspired by a chapter I read in Bruce Lipton's Spontaneous Evolution.(Chapter 13, to be exact)  I was inspired by two books, that I read before, that somehow landed in precarious places asking to be picked up again: Wayne Dyer's. There is a Spiritual Solution for Every Problem and Power Hunch by Marcia Emery. Yet I did not write anything.  Why?

Hmmm!  Maybe what I need to do is see what common thing ties all these three books together?


Love is the connecting force of all things of this world, coming from the  One that will heal and save us.  We do not have to follow rules that have been passed on by egoic minds that did not realize that truth and pulled us away from Love.   We can listen instead to our  intuitive knowing  that tells us to seek answers inward.  That answer comes from a place of true wisdom and Love.

Now ...what do I with that? lol

All is well in my world.

Sit Quietly in a Room Alone

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Blaise Pascal

How much truth do you think is in that statement?

I am not sure all of humanity's problems are related to our inability to be still, but I believe most of them are.

If most of us cannot settle our bodies and our minds for more than a few minutes at a time, what does that say about our ability to hear the real truth and wisdom that can not be found anywhere but inside? What does it say about our ability to solve problems effectively?  What does it say about our ability to experience peace, love and joy?

The truth lies within.  It lies in the parts of us we cannot see or understand using scientific tools.


Wayne Dyer in his book, There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem (2001) tells us that when we have a problem we need to realize that spirit has the answer, " As you learn to employ the first step , recognition of spiritual solutions, you will move to a state of realization in which you experience the power.  You will realize that every kind of disharmony, discord or disease is amenable to the spiritual energy that is you." (page 7).

 In other words we can solve all problems by becoming still and quiet so we can hear what wisdom or solution our inner Self has to share.

The Challenge of Being Quiet and Still.

Yet being still and quiet is not easy for many of us, is it?  Ego doesn't like us listening to spirit so it convinces us the only way to solve problems is to  do more.  Ego actually creates problems in this way.  So we have this incessant need to do to solve the problems ego creates.  Wow!  Do, Do Do!  It is challenging for most of to simply sit still and not do. 

How is it for us then, to still our minds?  Making the body quiet is one thing but how do we stop that loop-recording of 60,000+ thoughts that continuously goes around in our minds?  If we are not doing we are usually thinking about what we have to do.

It isn't easy to be still and quiet.

How long can you sit quietly?

I am going to offer you a challenge.  I want you to go into a room alone somewhere and sit on the floor in the middle of the room.  I want you to attempt to sit without moving and without thinking for five full minutes.  Set an alarm if you have to.  How easy is it for you to do that?

If you are not an avid meditator or someone who has practiced mindfulness, chances are you are going to find it quite challenging.  Don't lose heart...just recognize that there is room for improvement.   

If you really want to be able to solve the problems of this world while finding peace, joy and love...then maybe it is time you worked on being able to sit alone in stillness and quiet.  Find a way to improve your stillness ability through  a mindfulness and  meditation practice  that works for you.  You might also want to read Wayne Dyer's book to help you to get going in this direction.

If we can not find peace in our minds and bodies...how do we expect to find it in the world?  Let's all work on our ability to sit  quietly in a room alone so we can make the world a better place.

All is well in my world.

References

Dyer, W. (2001) There is a Spiritual Solution for Every Problem. New York: Harper

My article on the subject: http://thewisdomdaily.com/author/nancyd/

More on Sunday's Miracle

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when you bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.
Henry David Thoreau

Using science to Explain

My scientific mind needs scientific answers lol and it keeps down playing the spiritual significance of what happened Sunday.  It tells me it was just a large local reaction...the only reaction I have to stings is large and local.  What happened as a child could have been a coincidence:  I could have been having a severe large local reaction at the same time I was having a vasovagal response (dizzy, near fainting, vomiting) due to the shock  and pain of the sting...therefore I am not anaphylactically allergic??   So when I got stung again...my hand just swelled up out of proportion indicating the same type of reaction.  That is possible.

Also, it could have been a first exposure to another type of insect venom.  Maybe what stung me had a different type of venom than what stung me as a child and much less of it.  There was no cross sensitivity. What  I had could have been  a first exposure reaction which is never as severe as a second exposure. 

Was it even systemic?  The only signs I had that would support it was systemic yesterday was the sore throat and hoarse voice by the time I got to the car.  But I have had problems with my throat now off and on for a few years...so I can not use that as a sign. There was no facial or mucous membrane swelling that would indicate angioedema which would be expected with a systemic reaction.  No rash or hives!  No respiratory difficulty. I was dizzy but I attribute that to the heart condition.  I get dizzy all the time when I exert myself. Getting back to the car was not done with  the slow leisurely pace with lots of breaks that took me to the lake so my heart was bound to act up.   Hmmm? There were no absolute signs of a systemic reaction.

Is it possible to become desensitized over the years?  What if I did have a severe allergic reaction as a child but somehow I have become desensitized   over the course of 45 years?  My memory cells vaguely membered the venom, maybe,  because they are menopausal too.  :)

Did the tourniquet cause the swelling?  No it started around the sting site and spread to all the fingers, palms and the back of my hand from there.  Besides it was a sweater sleeve I was using so it is very difficult to even make it tight enough to cause swelling.  The swelling actually got worse when I remove the tourniquet anyway. 

Fearing the Mystical

Here I am trying to wrap my mind around what happened...to explain it using thought and science....to demystify it when the mystery of it is part of the truth.  Why do we do that?  Why do we pull away from the mystical and unseen , use thought to explain the seen and  practical.  That is our biggest problem isn't it?   We are afraid of the unseen and things that can not be explained.  We can't explain it or understand it so we do whatever we can to veer away from it. 

The truth is this...regardless of the science behind what the reaction was or wasn't....  My hand which was very, very swollen went down to absolutely normal within a 20 minute time frame without any intervention what so ever.   I know science.  I know pathophysiology and I can't explain that!  There was no pain or no sign that I was even stung when twenty minutes previously there was so much swelling I could not even move the tips of my fingers. Most swelling from  local reactions take days to subside!

Don't we have to call that a miracle? 

Why can we not just learn to bring what lies within out into the world and revel in the magic that happens when we do, without the need to explain it away?

All is well in my world and I will get off this subject now.:)

Pray with Confidence for Miracles to Happen

The most incredible thing about miracles is that they happen.
G.K. Chesterton

I had an experience yesterday that I want to share but am not so sure if I should. lol  Oh I will because I think it could benefit so many to hear this, regardless of how it makes me seem.

The lead up

D. and I took the dogs for a little hike to a lake not far from where I live.  It was beautiful there.   I brought my camera and was shooting over a little foot bridge when I felt this intense stinging in my finger.  It took me a few seconds to realize I had been stung.  I looked about and there were flying insects of some kind all around me. ( I didn't have the  sense to look to see if they had yellow on them).  I jumped back and yelled out to D. that I had been stung. 

Now that is no big deal right...for most people? ...A bit of pain and discomfort that subsides over time...but when you are like me, twenty minutes away from civilization...it is a big deal! 

You see when I was a child at Brownie camp at the age of about 8 maybe...I got stung by something I was told was a huge wasp.  I don't remember much about the experience because I got sick quite fast afterwards.   I remember it hurt like the dickens and that my entire arm and the side of my face, where I was stung, swelled up. I got dizzy and light headed.  I believe I near  fainted.  Not long after, I was vomiting. 

We were miles away from town and back then there were no cell phones...just a pay phone at the store a few miles down the road. 

The idea of anaphylaxis (life threatening allergy) was probably foreign to my brownie leaders but they did, after several hours, get someone to dispatch a call to my mother who was a nurse. She , I assume, knowing hours had passed or with some details missing from the story...thought the worse was over and told the leaders to watch me closely and if there was any change she would come and get me.  They made me sleep between them that night and I think that was worse than the sting and the reaction.  :)

I really do not remember much after that except coming home from mass one day, days after my return home from camp, with some of the swelling still remaining in my arm and enjoying the celebrity status of it all.  My friends were intrigued that a sting could do so much.  I also remember being told to make sure I staid away from bees and wasps from then on in.

The Assumption

No one mentioned that I had an allergy to stings but whenever I was caught participating in neighborhood dares with the rest of the kids on my block to see how long we could hold bees in our hands without getting stung  or even if I was observed sitting in amongst my mothers flowers I was scurried away with a severe reprimand.  I had no idea why (besides the fact that the bee challenge was one of the stupidest and cruelest things we ever did as children lol).  The wasp sting was a thing of the past in my child- mind and I made no association between it and my mother's reactions.

It was not until I was in nursing school, years later, and we were discussing anaphylaxis , that I made the association. I realized I could be severely allergic to stings and the next sting could prove  lethal within a twenty minute period without intervention.  (Secondary exposure is always the worse, in terms of allergy,  because sensitization has been established with the first exposure.) Wow!  I put all plans of signing up for any more bee challenges away, let me tell ya!  

I still didn't know for sure if I was/am allergic but I recalled bits of that minor childhood trauma  from years ago and it made sense.  The brownie leaders and my mother had long since passed so I could not confirm it with anyone. 

So I took it upon myself to assume I was allergic. I did not recognize the difference between  a response to bees and other insects, and assumed  they are the same.  They aren't.  Allergy to bee venom takes repetitive stings to develop where as wasp and other such insects can occur after one sting. 

Regardless...I was allergic to something and besides being fascinated with bee photography,  for the longest time...I made it a point to stay clear of yellow wearing insects. I simply told people during my health assessments, when the question of allergy was raised, that I was allergic to bee stings ( it was easier than explaining the difference).

I never got tested or got myself  an epi-pen though the thought crossed my mind because I never got stung again.  I guess, I thought  after 45 years, it was not going to happen.  So despite how much time I spend outdoors I never thought too much about the potential of a reaction and what could happen .  That is until yesterday. 

Note: The place was full of wonderful photo ops...but nature had something else in store for me.  Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to put my camera down when I am shooting regardless if my life is at risk or not? lol

The Sting

I suddenly found myself stung, twenty minutes out in the middle of nowhere  with no epi-pen.  If I was indeed severely allergic, I knew the hike back could be the end of me.

What did I do? 

Well I panicked at first, called myself stupid, told Don we were in trouble etc.  Then I realized that panic was not going to help...it was only going to make the  situation worse.  Wasn't I meditating and finding "ease"?  Did I not learn that calm is the way to go...that I wasn't this body or my emotions.  If I called on who I really was I could endure anything, couldn't I ? Well...it was time to call on that "ease"  to get me home.

I took a deep breath, explained to Don what could happen very calmly, that if  I got weak he would have to carry me out.  I got him to tie the sleeve of my sweater as tourniquet around my wrist, to ensure I kept my arm down and that I breathed slowly.  Then we began the  hike back. 

Praying with Confidence that I would not die

The whole way I prayed a prayer of confidence that all would be fine...I breathed and I called on that ease.  It was there when I really needed it. 

I watched my hand and it literally took over 6 minutes to begin swelling...which was reassuring.  I watched my heart rate and for any signs of systemic reaction...none.  I told myself  over and over there is no evidence that I have an anaphylactic type allergy...that is all assumption.  I also thought that  maybe what stung me was not something with yellow on it.

The swelling got worse but I talked myself down.  "This is just an allergic reaction, not an anaphylactic one"...I kept saying all the way to the car. By the time we got to the car my entire hand was swollen and red but other than having cardiac symptoms from the hike which was a little faster than normal...I felt fine.

I refused to go to the hospital because I convinced myself  that it was not anaphylaxis...I felt fine other than the very obvious swelling in my hand. I was definitely having a reaction but it didn't seem to be life threatening.

 I got home and my daughter, a nurse,  took my BP : 106/54  and the pulse was even in the70's.  Despite the concern from others for the increasing swelling and their insistence that I go to ER , I thought ...No,  I will just wait to see what happens.

 I removed the tourniquet and the hand swelled even more ( it was very swollen everywhere to the point I couldn't move my fingers)...but there were no systemic signs other than the cardiac ones I got from the hike.  My BP dropped to 84/50 a few minutes later and my pulse to 52 but I knew that that was the cardiac stuff. 

I just knew I was going to be okay.

My hand looked bad...really bad...and if I, in my days as an ER nurse, seen someone coming in with a hand like that after a sting, I'd be grabbing the epi and a crash cart sure that they were going into anaphylaxis.

 I refused to think like a nurse.  It was time to think like a woman of faith.

I said another prayer for the  swelling to go, absolutely confident for some unknown reason that it would.  I took myself out to the beautiful sun, away from the worried expressions of others, lay back in a chair, closed my eyes and waited for the  miracle to happen.

The Miracle

Literally,  20 minutes later I looked down at my hand and there was no sign of swelling or even of a  sting.  Today you cannot even see  the little hole where I got stung.  Everything is completely gone like it never happened.  (Remember: the first time I got stung as a child, the swelling lasted for days.)

Rationalizing the Miracle Away

I still haven't comprehended fully the implication of this experience.  It could be explained in so many  simple ways that support physical truths:

• I assumed wrong. I am not severely allergic to insect stings after all. ...the first reaction I had was something else
• I am allergic obviously by the amount of swelling I had but it is another type of  allergy other than anaphylaxis
• It could have been a large local reaction...nothing more
• This was a different insect with a  different venom so what was created was a first exposure  reaction
• The tourniquet prevented  a more serious systemic  reaction (By the way I would never recommend a tourniquet.  I only quickly chose that option because I had to walk and figured the walk would speed up a reaction if I were to have one.)
• all just a bunch of kooky coincidence

The Truth

I want to explain it like that.  Those are more appeasing rationales for the scientific part of my mind to digest...yet I know differently.  I was swelling big time...I had a serious first reaction as a child that I cannot deny...I was on the brink of anaphylaxis yesterday ...why did I not go there?

• Because I truly believed I wouldn't
• I knew I was going to be okay
• I felt protected
• I felt who I really was within this body and knew it was not going to let anything happen to "me" until I fulfilled my purpose here
• I prayed with confidence that everything was already taken care of
• I  realized I was so much more than this body anyway...if it had to go, I would still go on...that left this feeling of ease in me, of detachment. 
• So I did not resist what was happening.  I let go.
• I was calm even though ego was telling me to panic. I consciously ignored ego and chose peace.

Wow!  I look down at my hand now compared to what it was minutes after the sting and it is amazing!  There is absolutely nothing there to indicate I was even stung yesterday.

A miracle happened ...my learning kicked in when I was challenged by a test!  I was asking for signs I was going in the right direction and boom...I got one big time! This was a sign. 

Regardless of how you explain it or rationalize it...it was a miracle that the swelling went down as fast as it did and I didn't go with it.  Amazing!

I am not stupid...I need to invest in an epi-pen.  I cannot risk that happening again.  Well D. won't take me hiking again until I do get one.  So I will.  I definitely don't want anyone who has allergies to think this is all about ignoring them.  Bring your pen with you and take it!!!! Believe me...I will be getting one and I take it if I get stung again.

But...man.  what a wonderful learning experience this little would-be emergency proved to be.

We can use our minds to make ego powerful or we can use our minds to let the real truth about who we are be revealed. When we allow the truth out...amazing things can happen. I have been asking, praying and seeking truth.  My prayers were answered. A miracle was the result.

Pray with confidence people...pray knowing that what you are asking for is already with you...because it is!  And miracles will happen! 

All is well in my world!

Ease or Dis-ease

When you do not know the joy of being at absolute  ease with yourself, you are in dis-ease.  It is only a matter of time before it becomes physiological.
Sadhguru

So many of us are on the search for the ultimate experience.  We want joy, bliss, ecstasy.  Yet, we haven't got a clue how to simply be at ease; how to sit quietly with ourselves without doing, thinking, planning, fretting over the past or  being worried about the future.  We want to skip  over all that to get to that feeling of completeness' and wonder why it is so challenging, why we get sick.

Are you at ease?

How many moments a day do you experience ease? Can you sit in nature for five minutes without thinking, narrating in your mind, worrying, regretting or resenting, wondering about the time and what you have to get back to...just totally focused on being. That is ease and so many of us find it challenging.

I found it challenging and still do at times I obviously haven't experienced enough ease over the course of my life...thus my getting sick.  I was always a little wound up ball of doing and thinking.  There I was on a mission to find  the meaning of spirituality and awakening but I couldn't even  uncurl myself from my knots ( and my 'nots').

I have learned to seek awakening in increments.

The Steps to Finding Ease

• First I had to slow down and stop doing (the dis-ease helps me with that actually but I still slip all the time :));
• I had to learn to pay attention to what was going on in me and around me
• I had to pay attention to the information my senses were giving me...observe the world before me without judgment...just look, listen, smell, feel, and taste it
• I had to learn to breathe and just focus on breath rather than trying to control it like I tried to control so many things in my life
• I had to be aware of what my body was saying.  Was there pain anywhere?  Discomfort?  A Pleasant feeling?
• Then  I had to be aware of what I was thinking and feeling
• I had to become aware of my thoughts as something that did not define me so I could detach
• Next I had to be willing to feel what I was feeling in the present moment regardless of what it was.  I had to recognize what thought caused the  feeling
• I then had to work on the thinking through some good old fashioned cognitive restructuring and rational emotive therapy (it is great to have a psychology background...I can make something so simple like "changing the way I think" sound so exciting)
• I had to become aware of how every minor change of thought made me feel...to ensure I was feeling better at least and moving up the emotional ladder
• The big one was accepting what was as it was in the moment I was in ( still need to work on that one :))
• I had to learn to close my eyes and just stay there for a bit, detaching from the world around me that I thought was real....to allow the experience...if thoughts came in...well I let them be and watched them as they did their thing before taking off again.
• I learned to detach (well I am still learning that one), observing what is happening in my mind and body from a distance.)
• Then I began to feel ease.  At least for 20 minutes, twice a day I feel ease.  It is slowly infiltrating into other moments of my life but I still have some work to do.

I am making it my mission now to find ease.  No matter what is going on in me or around me I want to be okay with it...to be at ease! From there I will find the peace, the joy, the bliss and the ultimate experience of Love I write about in my book.

It is all so very good.  It may not be easy but it is very, very doable.

If I can revert the process of dis-ease into ease than anybody can.  How is that for amazing?

All is well in my world.

Light on the Roof

D. took this shot of me.  I cropped and edited it a bit but he did the rest.  My camera is complicated and I always have it set at manual...so this is a pretty good shot considering.  ( I did not mean for that to sound patronizing in any way.  lol)

Light  on the Roof

Gentle rays,
warm and inviting
are cast upon my skin.
All that I really am
is pulled through the layers
of what I am not.

Peace,
Joy,
Love,
and
Grace,
stretch out on the surface
of my mind
as if it were tar paper on the roof
of a college residence.
They  lay happily and lazily there
reflecting the light
for all to see.

Their flesh is so much more attractive
 youthful
and radiant
than the one I call my body.
They draw others to this mental roof
until it is full
of laughing, smiling and happy faces.

We are lulled by the
magnetizing power
that draws us out,
even when Its source is hidden
behind a dark cloud cover.
We are asked to Know
 that the brilliant energy
is always there
even when we can not see it.

We will  feel it penetrating through
even when the heavy weight of rain
seems to be falling on  us.
 We will hear it past the grumbling of thunder.
We will  listen as It
calls out Love, Peace, Joy and Grace
to where they are meant to be...
happily dancing
on the surface of our minds
while their glorious light
radiates outward,
shining  on the world.

Dale-Lyn (?)

Can't remember when I wrote that or why.  Years ago.  :). 

The reference to the mind being tar paper on a college residence comes from my university experience...my first one.  In March after a long hard Canadian winter, when the snow was still in piles on the ground beneath us but the sun  was delightful, we would crawl out on top of the hot tar paper roof of the residences we lived in ,  in shorts or bathing suits.  We would  bask in the sun as if we were on the beach. There would be music blaring, Frisbees' and footballs zinging by. 

It was a time of light, and hope and freedom, I guess.  Much needed...considering exams were coming up and if you were anything like me in that first university experience...you had something to worry about lol.

I compare that sun on the tar paper roof to the energy of Spirit that calls us out of the depths of our minds to the surface of some greater understanding.  Hmmm!

Deep, crazy lady.  Deep!

All is well in my world!

 

Nature, the Silent Witness

The silent witness

The Silent Witness

by

Sas Debray

 



Away from world holding our hand
We trod the paths unknown,
Though we knew, when we receded
Would find the paths out-grown

Without a thought, or haste too soon
Foot steps we bid good byes,
Kissed beneath a tree, seeing the moon
From corner of our eyes.

We shook the tree as hard we could
To beg to tell its name,
Buds did fall comforting our mood
Hearing two children's claim.

Despite we hugged, like clouds in love,
In the desperate air,
We knew who blessed and smiled above -
Watching our love affair.

Poem hunters: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-silent-witness/#content

On Intuition

Nature is the silent witness to intuition.
Malidoma Patrice Some (missing the accents...sorry) (from  InnSaie: the Sea Within documentary) 

I watched an amazing video last evening on Netflix entitled, InnSaie: The Sea Within.  It addressed the fascinating topic of intuition.  I was  enthralled by the video but also by this man who they interviewed during the video, Malidoma Patrice Some and his take on intuition.

What is intuition?

I think of intuition as the inner knowing that goes beyond thought.  Say what crazy lady?

Intuition according to  the Cambridge on line dictionary is "(Knowledge of) ability to understand something immediately based on feeling rather than fact. " 

So it is  knowing something that doesn't come from factual knowledge but from feeling.  There is that "feeling" word again and when we think of feeling we think of "being" rather than doing.  In order to tap into our intuition we need to be comfortable with being.

Intuition is that "in your gut knowing".  It is the ability to interpret the messages we get from the world within and the world without through the five senses without having to  go to the information sorting center  of the brain, the thalamus, first where they would get delayed by the extra step of thought formation.  I guess, it is like a knee jerk reflex of the mind/body and soul.

Intuition is natural and inherent in all of us.  It is also the thing most of us are losing because we are too wrapped up in thinking and doing. ...we are pulling away from our natural connection to nature and to Self.  We are too concerned with understanding what is going on around us through our rational mind instead of our inner mind.  We are thus pulling a way from spirit...and our intuition is simply the voice of spirit guiding us in a better direction, according to Some (Miller, 1995).

Some 's spirit guided purpose in life is to educate westerns about the importance of things like intuition,  connection to nature and knowing who they really are.  He believes we have strayed so far from understanding what the West African Dagara tribe accepts as basic knowledge and that impinges on our ability to know from a deeper level  who we are which is the basis of our intuition. :

Nature is like a canvas, a painting of countless options and possibilities. It is the total of all the interwoven connections between these possibilities that makes up spirit. Or, you might say that spirit paints the canvas of nature. You don’t really worship spirit, because you are also spirit, and spirits don’t worship one another. What makes you different from spirit overall is that you are locked into temporality. You have a body, like a piece of cloth that is decayable. While you stay in it, it’s hard for you to have the same abilities that spirit has without a body. It is also easy to make mistakes about what is real, and how to go about things effectively. (Miller, 1995, par 12)

 

This inner knowing that is not dependent on thought but that comes from spirit is understood by us through nature (both the nature around us and the bodily  antennas  nature offers us through the five senses.) In order to tap back into it we must become more mindful, more aware of nature's rhythm and more in tune with our sensual perception of it.

Well that is something to think about!

All is well in my world.

References

Cambridge On line dictionary

Miller, P. (1995) Visions: Malidoma Some. Mother Jones. Retrieved from http://www.motherjones.com/politics/1995/03/visions-malidoma-some/

Olafdottir, K. & Gunnsteindottir, H. (producer/directors) (2016)  Inn Saie: The Sea Within. Netflix

Changing the Pathological Doer

A Self that goes on changing is a Self that goes on living.
Virginia Woolf

Choosing to Live.

Hmm!  How are those for mighty powerful words coming  from a feminist writer of the early 20th century?

Let's consider the fact that deep in the despair of her overwhelming depression, Woolf decided to stop living in 1941. After her English home was bombed in the Blitz she put stones in her trench coat pocket and walked out into a stream where she was carried away forever.   (Depression, BTW, is a terrible and potentially fatal disease and we, as a society need to remove the stigma attached to it, in order to save lives...including the brilliant minds of people like Virginia Woolf.  Anyway...that is a topic for another time!!!)

I seek a Self that goes on living! I see that a change in me is required so I can do that both in the physical sense and in the metaphysical sense.

Pathological Doing

I am like many of you, a pathological doer.  I equate my value on what I do and what I accomplish.  In order to feel worthy, I do.  I am resistant to simply being because I have this unfounded idea that my being is not enough.

Ego plays so many tricks with our minds, doesn't it? 

We were born into these bodies as perfect, complete human beings but ego tells us through the voices of others that still echo  in our psyches, through our ingrained beliefs, through circumstances, loss and our own apparent failures that we are not enough!  In order to be enough we must do, accomplish, compete, conquer, succeed, achieve,  win, own, cling, defend and attack. And while we do, we lose touch with what it  is to simply be.  We lose touch with who we really are. We lose sense of our inherent value. 

So to compensate...we keep doing more and the more we do the farther we get from who we are.  It becomes a vicious cycle that makes us sick. 

This type of doing  is pathological and of all the diseases I may or may not have....I can definitely diagnose myself with "pathological doing." In this sickness...I am not really living in the true sense of the word because I am not aware of my being.  I am not appreciating life as it flows around me and through me...enough.

I want to live. In order to have a Self that goes on living...I need to change.

I am trying...as many of you who are waking up too...are trying.  I have come far in making change but in my newfound awareness and ability to observe  myself ...I see I have a ways to go.

I see how I am at work...how I am in the kayak or other athletic pursuits...how I am in my writing ( I am so compelled to write two articles a week, to finish the many  novels and books I have started, to complete my writing tasks).  I can also observe how I feel when I can not get things done...such shame and guilt and fear. When I do not do enough , my ego tells me I am not enough.  How sick is that?

Are you listening to ego?

What is truly sick about all this ..is that I listen to ego.  Here I am waking up to my true Self...seeing and understanding who I really am...growing and expanding into something so much more than my ego bound self...yet I still listen to ego. 

The universe supports my growth.  It wants me to just be. It puts down these wonderful blessings and learning opportunities in front of me: my diminished physicality, a partner who is a perfect example of beingness,  tremendous learning in mentors, teachers, books , this drive to write about "being", and a physical inability to "do' as much as I used to in my work or other pursuits. Through these things, it is showing me that it is perfectly okay to just be. It wants me to just be. 

And I still resist.

  I still push past the  symptoms and yes I go past the four on the scale  even though I know better.  Regardless of how my body or the precious moment I am in protests,  I still feel the need to do  for fear that being is not enough. I want to stop resisting.

So how do we change so the Self can go on living?  How do we get past this pathological need to do in a society that supports and rewards ego's mandate?

Steps to Change: Being over Doing

1. First, we must be aware of our propensity to do.  Review your day, review your life and observe this doing tendency.  Of course, doing is a necessary component of life on this planet  but is your doing pathological?  Are you doing for the sake of compensating for a sense of unworthiness?  How do you feel when you do not do?   Admitting to a problem is always the  first step to change.
2. Secondly, we must be willing to change. We must want more than the  ego offers.  We must want truth more than illusion; peace more that ego reward.  Are you willing to change?
3. Be aware of ego's presence in your life.  Simply observe ego at work.  When you feel the drive to do...know it is ego.  If you have moments where you are feeling anything but peaceful or joyful, know it is ego.  When you are feeling shame, fear or worry...ego! Once you recognize ego's voice it will be easier to ignore what it has to say.
4. Next, we need to make a conscious commitment to spend more time being.  Make it a part of your daily plan to sit quietly, alone, in stillness for so many minutes a day. 
5. Look at it as Practice!   Remember beingness  is something you practice.  The more committed and disciplined you are, the more you will get from it. Be patient with yourself and with the process.
6. Meditate.  Start out slow as you incorporate beingness into your life.  Meditation requires practice to perfect. I meditate twice a day for 20 minutes each time.  This has become a part of my daily routine.  I started out with just a few minutes once a day and worked my way up.  My meditation practice is far from perfect but it is getting better. You will have to determine what works best for you. You can use a guided meditation or simply sit in stillness and quiet.  Again ...whatever works for you.
7. Practice Mindfulness throughout your day.  Just be more aware and more conscious of the inner self as you "do' throughout the remainder of your day.  With every activity you take on ...watch yourself doing it, slow down, and breathe.  Feel it and everything that is going on around you as you do.
8. Slow down! Remind yourself that life is not a race.  One of the reasons we do so intensely is that we fear time will run out.  In our hurry to get things done we lose touch with what is really important.  Slow down and enjoy the ride.
9. Get help and support!  Turn to the people around you and ask for their support.  Get them to be observing eyes on the look out for your ego activation.  Ask them to tell you if they notice that you are doing too much, or doing too intensely.  You may also need  the help of a professional if your doing has gotten completely out of control.
10. Seek the truth that lies within.  What you are really looking for...the only thing that will truly make you value being over doing....lies in the remembering of who you really are.  The only way you will remember is if you slow down long enough to go inward where the true Self resides.  Seek that truth and you can not help but be.

All is well in my world.

Measuring a Day by Being rather than Doing

If you are what you do, when you don't...you aren't.
Wayne Dyer

I just wrote an entry and I think it turned out to be an article...so I saved it instead of publishing it here until I decide what I am going to do with it.  

In that article I talk about the importance of measuring our day by being rather than doing.  So many of us, however, are so inclined (me included) to measure our days by what we accomplished.  If, at the end of our waking hours,  we have a check mark beside everything on our to do list we determine that we have had a great day.  If we get most of it done and some of it done well...that's a good day.  If we get little done and/or what we got done was not done well...well that's a bad day. Hmmm!

We are so inclined to do and we forget somehow about the  importance of being.  Doing in today's busy world seems to be everything. It is an addiction almost. 

I have been blessed with this amazing learning opportunity.  I have a body that wants me to rest and to simply be  for a while.  I see the spiritual significance in that.  It leads me further on my journey to the truth I seek.  I have come so far!!!!  Yet,  I am still inclined to do.

 My physical symptoms make doing so challenging...The physicality of my life experience right now is  like a doorway opening to my being ( which I am consciously seeking)  rather than my doing but I turn my back on it.   Despite how far I have come, I still turn my back on it.

My mind, my ego tell me if I want to have a good day, a great life and be the best I can be, I must do...so I do. I push myself to get those things done on my list. I must push harder, faster and with greater difficulty to prove my value.  It doesn't matter how I feel when I  am doing the activity or task I set out to do.  It doesn't matte if I am enjoying it  or if I am enjoying the world around me.  Heck sometimes I am not sure if I am even noticing the world around me when I am so focused on my doing.

This drive to do pulls me forward.  Or is it backwards? I am quite sure it is backwards:).  This ego drive to do that I have yet to master pulls me away from the goals of enlightenment ( or something like it)that I seek.

At  the end of the day when I am reflecting on  the hours I spent,  I still find myself thinking "Oh this was a good day because I got this and that done." or "This day sucked because I never got anything done.  I never did anything." I want to get to the end of my waking hours and say..." This was a great day simply because I was loving, kind, peaceful, joyful, supportive, mindful, still and very appreciative of everything that showed up in it."

I have a ways to go.

An Example:

D.  purchased Kayaks for us.  They were not bought to increase physical fitness or to encourage rugged outdoor pursuits...they were bought as tools that would allow peaceful, tranquil moments on the water, surrounded by nature.  They were bought to help us relax and enjoy life.

Well, I get in mine...and the next thing I know, I am paddling and I am paddling hard.  I get so consumed by the act of paddling, the athletic pursuit of it and getting from one place to the other at a certain clip  that I miss out on the scenery around me...not only that I drive myself within a 5-10 minute span into full fledge symptoms. Chest pain and all.

D. on the other hand, being the person he is, just glides slowly along the water . He takes a few easy strokes...than allows the water to take him...a few more strokes and farther he goes. It is a very graceful, purposeful but leisurely movement. So different than mine.  He relaxes and takes in everything (between the moments he is warning me to slow down before I end up in trouble...that is).  He enjoys it more, exerts himself less and has a better being experience than me, the pathological doer, does. 

There is so much to learn from simply watching this man's approach to kayaking and to life. 

If I keep going the way I am going in the kayak I won't be able to continue or something worse will happen.  I know that.  I am shown over and over again...the beauty of simply being.  I can find a certain being in the this new adventure without  overexerting myself or causing symptoms. If I paddle easy and then let the boat and the water carry me I will be taken to  a wonderful place of beingness.

The opportunity to just be has been  laid out in front of me like a red carpet for years now.  All I have to do is step on it, embrace it, live accordingly.  If I did I would crawl into bed at night knowing I had the day I wanted to have...one full of peaceful, joyful, grateful and loving being.

I still  have to learn welcome the wonderful grace and wisdom my physical symptoms are offering me. I have to stop resisting them through my pathological need to do.

Most importantly, I have to say goodbye to the criteria for determining a good day through doing and know a day's value by the being that takes place in it. I will get there!

All is well in my world!

Allow Things to Pass

All life is a passing show.  If we want to hold it, even for a minute, we feel tension...When we want to keep it, we put up barriers which ultimately cause us pain...If only we learn to enjoy each change, we can recognize the beauty even in aging....when we just allow things to pass, we are free.  Things will just come and go while we retain our peace.
Sri Swami Satchidananda


Imagine the peace that comes with the ability to just allow things to come and go into our lives, to pass by without any need for us to block the passage or to cling.

Imagine looking at change with nothing but a smile of awe on our faces.

 Imagine sitting back and enjoying the show that is played out in front of us and through us instead of getting lost in the need to rewrite or fix the script. 

How much energy we waste trying to hang on to the things that are not ours to hang onto; to control and fix the things that do not need fixing. 

Our resistance is fatiguing and crazy making.  Life is going to happen with or without our approval; with or without our direction.  Isn't it time we just let it?

Learning to let go isn't easy for us who were blessed with so much to let go of??

Isn't it ironic that those of who were randomly placed in geographical and economic situations of blessing are the one that feel they need  "more"...more control, more things, more whatever to make them happy...than those who seem to have less?

The 2017 Happiness report shows that the rate of happiness in the U.S.A. , one of the richest countries in the world, is steadily decreasing. http://worldhappiness.report/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/03/HR17.pdf. 

Other studies are showing  countries who are not so economically well off, like Indonesia (https://www.pressreader.com/indonesia/the-jakarta-post/20170711/281767039260377),  are some of the happiest countries in the world.  Why is that?

There are all kinds of critiques about the studies done over the years  but I believe the key point to be made is that money and material things do not bring happiness. 

What does?

The more in tune we are to our true Self as individuals...the happier the population will be. How do we get there?  Through spiritual practice.

Indonesia is a very spiritually centered country. (http://www.fostertravel.com/bali-indonesia-the-spice-trade-of-the-spirit/)  

The deeper the spirituality, the easier it is to detach from the things of the material world. Maybe the less you have...the easier it is too because there is less to feed the ego.  I don't know.

The point is...in finding our true Self we will find that stable ground on which to plant our feet and it won't matter what country we are in or where it is ranked in any happiness study. 

We will be able to watch the world pass by and enjoy it from a place of peace.

 Letting go of our emotional attachment to the things of the world that do not matter will make it easier to embrace the things that do.

All is well in my world.

In Search of the Purusa

The moment you understand yourself as the true Self, you find such peace and bliss that the impressions of the petty enjoyments you experienced before become as ordinary specks of light in front of the brilliant sun.
Sri Swami Satchidananda in his brilliant translation of the Yoga Sutras

Isn't that beautiful?

This quote reflects the main focus of this blog and the main focus of my life right now: the pursuit of peace and bliss.  I want to wake up to the Purusa, or true Self within so nothing else matters; so that the world around me becomes a playground to enjoy, rather than a piece of  fly paper I find myself stuck to in my reckless pursuits.  I want to detach myself from all that doesn't matter (vairagya) and discover what does.

I want this for my little self and I want this for the world.

(You will have to excuse the lack of appropriate accents in some of the terms I will be using...my computer does not do Sanskrit translation.  :) )

What is the Purusa?

Purusa, according to the definition found in Sri Swami Satchidananda's translation of The Yoga Sutras (2011), is "the divine Self which abides in all beings."  It is often referred to as the true Self, who we really are beneath these bodies and worldly identifications.  The true Self is pure and real...from God.

The Purusa is that which sees all and knows all.  Pure consciousness. Complete awareness.  Source energy. It is the quiet Observer that rests beneath the ego watching without judgment, as we in bodily form and with mental modifications that cloud the peace that is our birthright, stomp around in the  the physical world. It is our most inner Self...it is our most real Self.

The Upanishads of Vedic truth  refer to this true divine Self that was there before we were born into physical form and that which will continue after we die as Brahman. (http://yogananda.com.au/upa/Upanishads01.html

Say what, crazy lady?

We in the western hemisphere may refer to it as the spirit or soul...or the inner self.  Just know the Purusa is who you really are. 

What you are not?

You are not the body that you see when you look in the mirror...the body you work out or adorn so it looks good...the body that you curse for having a few wrinkles or a few "extra" rolls around the waist line....the body you push to exhaustion and illness in your attempt to "get er all done." ...quicker and more efficiently than the others around you.  You are not the body that  is black or yellow, tan or white...tall or short...the body that is ill or hungry...physically fit or too well fed.

You are not the five senses that you seek to overindulge and gratify...they are merely tools to help you interpret the world around you...they do not define you.

You are not your mind and all those thoughts that whirl around it.  You are not the anxieties and worries you have about tomorrow or the resentment and shame you experience over yesterday. 

You are not the circumstances of your life...be they cursed or blessed.

You are not your culture, your language , your gender or your religion.

You are not what you do.  You are not  the professional role you identify yourself with or the little letters you write behind your name.  (and I don't care...how many letters that may be:) or how hard you worked to get them...they are just letters). 

You are not your educational and social achievement or the lack of.

You are not the things you own...the numbers in your bank account, the house you live in  or the car you drive. (If you are so blessed to have these things when so many don't.)

You are not your caste, your class or your social status.

You are not your personality and the reaction you get from others because of it.  You are not what others may believe you to be.

You are not your ego and all it tries to convince you  are.

You are so much more than all that.  You are  the One that observes as the little you experiences these things.


What?

What we tend to worship here in this material world is not who we are.  We are that which quietly exists beneath all this and  allows these things to be experienced.

That which speech does not illumine, but which illumines speech: know that alone to be the Brahman (the Supreme Being), not this which people worship here.

That which cannot be thought by mind, but by which, they say, mind is able to think: know that alone to be the Brahman, not this which people worship here.

That which is not seen by the eye, but by which the eye is able to see: know that alone to be the Brahman, not this which people worship here.

That which none breathes with the breath, but by which breath is in–breathed: know that alone to be the Brahman, not this which people worship here.

(http://www.yoga-age.com/upanishads/kena.html) Yoga Age

So that means we are looking for the Purusa within that makes ...

• what we have to say important
• what we have to do worthwhile for all
• the mind able to think
• the eyes able to see;  ears able to hear;  bodies able to feel
• makes us able to breathe...in fact is the breath we breathe in

And what happens if we should find it?

The world will make sense.  We will know who we are . 

We will be free from the sticky paper that holds us down.  We will see and know what is important and what isn't.; what is real and what isn't; what is temporary and what is permanent.   If it isn't important, real or permanent ( eternal)  we will remove  emotional attachment to it.  We can enjoy these things, play with these things but we do not have to be consumed with a need to attain, collect, cling or fear losing these things. 

We will be at peace no matter what is going on around us.  We will enjoy our lives regardless of what shows up in them. 

We will at the same time give our lives away.  We will joyfully provide loving service and compassion to a world that will wake up as a whole some day. 


Finding the Purusa is the answer to all life's so called problems.


How cool is that?

All is well in my world.

Note:  It gets confusing.

Reading the scriptures...the sutras and the vedas (the Kena Upanishads) can be confusing for someone coming from a totally different background like myself. The interpretation of the Sanskrit words: Atman, Purusa, and even Brahman differ from source to source, changing the whole context and meaning of the wisdom offered.  I lack the know how, cultural understanding, the actual versions in front of me and guidance to take the words in any way other than the way they are offered literally to me after translation.  I think I get the major gist of it and somehow it makes  sense to me "internally" but...I am no expert here.  For the purpose of my writing here, I use a few on line references and am not sure of their value. So please read for yourself or seek the guidance of an expert on these scriptures if you want anything more from them than what my gut is telling me to share with you.  I know nothing.  Okay?

References

Kena-Upanishads. (n.d.) Yoga-age.com.  Retrieved from http://www.yoga-age.com/upanishads/kena.html

Swami Paramananada (n.d.) Kena-Upaishads. Hinduwebsite.com. Retrieved from http://www.hinduwebsite.com/sacredscripts/hinduism/parama/kena.asp

Sri Swami Satchidananda (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville: Integral Yoga Publications

Mahinda Singh (Dec, 2016) What is the Difference Between Purusha and Brahman? Vedas Explained. Retrieved from http://www.vedasexplained.com/hinduism/what-is-the-difference-between-purusha-and-brahman/

The Best Upanishad Quotes. (n.d.) Paramahansa Yogananda. Retrieved from http://yogananda.com.au/upa/Upanishads01.html

Reach Big!

I know...I should be writing an article lol.  Last week I just revamped a short story and sent it out to...guess where?  The New Yorker.  Now, I read somewhere the statistical probability for someone like me  being published by The New Yorker  is something like 0.00069 %.  So obviously my main goal for sending that out was not publication. 

Though I have revamped my weekly writing and submission goal to make it more realistic...I am honoring it. I did tell you I would write and submit and that is what I did.  It really is not about the publication for me.  Every time I complete something and submit it somewhere...it gets read.  Submission for me is all about taking a step, in this case- a giant leap, towards a dream...Going after my bliss is all about being read, not famous.  :)  So I am going to be read big!  lol

We need to think big, don't we?  We need to reach high and throw our wishes out there as far as we can...don't we? I will submit this story elsewhere...I have a list of more probable and just as wonderful publications.  They too may reject me with a "Hmmmpf...I wasted 30 minutes reading this story...come on woman...did you think we would publish that?" Or someone somewhere may like it and publish it.  Who knows?  We will never know until we try, will we?

So reach big!

Now for my article this week...kind of being pulled toward the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali...so maybe I will go there.  :)  I will start there, at least ...and see where it takes me.  I want to keep this one under 1000 words.  That is my goal!  That is my challenge.

All good!

Dear God,

Please untie the nots.

All the can nots, should nots,

may nots and have nots.

Please erase from my mind

the thoughts that

I am not good enough

-Iyanla Vanzant



Spontaneous Evolution

A miraculous healing awaits this planet once we accept our new responsibility to collectively tend the garden, rather than fight over the turf.
Bruce Lipton


I am reading an amazing book, Spontaneous Evolution, by Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman.  So most of my writing, as of late, might reflect that a bit. :)  Butterflies evolving from caterpillars; fields of flowers emerging from mechanical destruction...and an ordinary stressed out person like myself emerging from a state of doing to a state of being.  :)  Yep...evolution. 

We are all evolving.  It is our next step in the evolution of the human species...to shed our reliance on the ego and  become more cooperatively conscious and aware.  If we do not ...we may not survive the next round.  Stark, I know but also a powerful incentive to do what is best for us anyway. 

If you are like me...caught between a reliance on a scientific mindset and a more spiritual philosophy of life...this book is for you.  It offers a perfectly profound scientific understanding of the mysteries of life we can not explain with our five senses! It explains the different scientific and religious dogmas that have led us into  the first steps of our understanding and it leads us away from them. It explains where we are heading if we do not smarten up but most importantly, it offers so much hope for our healing as individuals, as a species and as a world.

Worth Reading!

All is well in my life.

The Field

...you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2, ESV)

There is a field in the midst of the woods where D. and I walk our dogs. 

It is just an ordinary field used for hay and grazing horses from a nearby stable.  One could walk through it without noticing anything special about it.

Up until last year the four wheelers and dirt bikes ran through it as the riders, constantly in search of some excitement...something more... but never quite fulfilled enough... left big  scars and lifeless chunks in its fragile earth.  This year the owner closed the gates to all but the few hikers that walk there and the horses who are now never hungry.

The field is healing itself.

When I need a quick rejuvenation fix, a reminder about the healing power in all of us, I strap on my Asics, grab the dogs, my man, my camera and head out to that simple, ordinary field.

When I am sad, feeling my life is dreary and colorless I walk along the grassy path as the dogs pant and run beside us.  My world becomes filled with colour once again.

When I need a little laughter or a reminder of the joy that exists in this very moment...I watch with a smile on my face as the dogs run, hop and skip through the tall grass, wagging their tails, absolutely  delighted in just being.

When I, feeling overwhelmed by my attempt to understand the apparent chaos in my own little world,  wonder why nothing seems to make sense...I walk through the disorganized and random  growth of wild flowers and tall grass where everything suddenly does make sense.  I realize with amazement that everything is in perfect order in its own apparent chaos. 

When I know I am moving too fast, doing too much...getting lost in ego's push for more...I stand by the fence where the beautiful horses graze.  I watch as their magnificent heads kiss the earth in reverence and gratitude.  They pull the growth from it gently without struggle because it is given to them gently without struggle. 

These magnificent beasts that can run and move and work like no human can still themselves in reverence for what nature provides...what life entails.  I am filled with peace as I watch them.

(These are not the horses from the field.  They are my sister's horses filling in. lol)

When my body is tired and wanting nothing more than to be understood...I stand or sit amongst the buzzing life I find there, in that little field. I breathe as if for the first time all day.  With my lens as my eye I then capture what I can to remind me just how much life is around me and in me.

When I need to remember what it is all really about...I walk along that trail in the golden light of evening...running my hand through the tall dancing  daisies that reach out their elegant arms to welcome me...and I somehow know.

Life is perfect just the way it is right here and right now.

All is well in my world.

Metamorphosis

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.

proverb?


We can do all things...eventually.  A transformation process, however,  is required. 

Most of us, still  have our egos stuck to us like the fuzzy flesh of the caterpillar.  It may be considered cute by some, ugly by others  but it is not who we are. :)

As a species we are one big tent of creeping, crawling and very hungry little egos eating up everything in our paths.  If we were to go on like caterpillars...we would eat the planet alive, leaving nothing. We would also view the world from a very limited perspective...ground eye view.

In this ego form we can only think of our own needs and our own survival.  In an attempt to get and maintain the limited resources for our own hungry bellies  we compete and fight to get what we need to survive.

 ( I know one doesn't usually think of caterpillars with little machine guns strapped to their backs and little Rambo style bands around their heads but heck...for the purpose of this analogy, I am going to get you to  picture them that way.  They do not call some of the species..."Army worms" for nothing!)

That is the path we are on. 

If we do not wake up to realize who we are beneath these bodies we are in we will consume and destroy everything. 

If we do not seek some quiet branch on which to suspend all  that we thought we were so we can begin the change we will eat ourselves to oblivion. 

If we do not look around and see what is really going on, see that it is not just "all about me"; we will become extinct.

 If we do not cease our consuming, our doing, our taking, our owning, our fighting, our defending for precious moments of stillness ( which equates to about 20-40 days for this analogy :) ) we, as a species, will not make it to the next round.  And we will take a whole lot of other beings down with us when we die off!

We need to change! And soon!

We are not our egos.  We are so much more.  And we will only discover that after we undergo the necessary and sometimes painful process of metamorphosis . We have to be willing to wrap ourselves up away from the world we think is real and wake up to the world and being that truly exists within us
 
When we are simply willing to wake up...God (or however way you describe  that all knowing vital life force within us all) will take over helping us with the process. 

The constant hunger will cease. 
We will finally rest and all the heavy flesh we wore will be shed.

When the process is complete, and it does take time, we will  emerge into the  grand beings we were meant to be...that we were all along beneath our limited version of humanity.

We will be beautiful creatures that can transcend earthly limitation offering beauty and joy to a world that so desperately needs it. 

We will see the whole world clearly and realize just how beautiful and amazing it is.

We will know how we were meant to expand, to soar, to reach the heavens in this lifetime.

We will heal the earth and help to make it grow instead of destroying it.

We will also look at every caterpillar and instead of seeing a competitor for what's left...we will see the butterfly potential within them all. 

We will await the transformation of all, knowing that we will  create one amazing canopy of colour when we migrate together.

We all need to do this!

For the sake of the entire species we all need to make this change....but it begins with one little caterpillar at a time; one ego at a time. It begins with you and it begins with me.

Are you ready to become a butterfly?  I know I am.  :)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2, ESV)

All is well

Do All Things

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13, ESV

I love this passage.  The "Him" referred to is Christ in most versions of the bible.  Christ represents God on earth. So it is through God manifesting through human form  that all things are possible. 

Let's look at the term God...in the Christian understanding. God is that powerful entity that we have come to believe in our monotheistic tradition as the being, looking very much like our grandfather,  who sits outside of us, "up there."  (Wherever up there is on a spinning orb :) ) He is the all powerful, all judging, all loving and all punishing figure that determines our fate. 

This God is going to strengthen us. This God is going to make all things possible to us if we accept His Son as His representative on earth and live according to His rules. 

Well I was brought up to believe, in my Christian Church,  that this God I was terrified of and in awe of at the same time would never  make miracles happen through me because I would never be the perfect holy being, Christ was.  I would never be worthy enough to accept such a role. To even think I could do a grain of what Christ did was blasphemous.

 Like most people I know I gave up trying to get promoted to the elusive  status of miracle-worker before I even got started.  Man the criteria was just too tough and the shaming that came from trying...another story .  So I adopted instead the very popular belief that I, as a human being, was and always will be limited in my ability to do all things.  I would never meet God's full approval therefore I would not be performing any miracles.   I thought I was okay with that.

As I began to seek answers to life's complicated questions outside the confines of my church...I began to question two things:

1. Is this traditional version of God that I was brought up to own as a belief stuck in my subconscious,  what God really is?
2. Since I know that my negative thinking is the thing that holds me back from achieving what I want in life....what would happen if I change how I thought?  If I truly believed I could do all things, could I actually do them?

So what is God?

I have come to see God in a whole new light.  I certainly believe there is a God...I honor and value that God in my life.  I am a true believer in that sense...but my perception has changed. 

As I study other religions and other philosophies, I have stepped away from the traditional version of God  I found in my early grade catechism books.   Part of me still clings to the notion of  He and Him because it comforts me but my questioning mind goes beyond my child like need to be soothed and disciplined by an aging paternal figure. I have trouble visualizing him  as an old man in a long beard with a big loud voice that would yell if we committed sins. I don't even know if I see Him as a him or as a being in human form, anymore.

Even through studying...restudying...what I was brought up to believe in the Christian faith...I see God differently. I am starting to see that God is everything!  And God's home turf is everywhere! It is even in me...this School of Miracle Working reject.

" nor will they say, 'Look, here it is!' or 'There!' for behold, the Kingdom of God is in the midst of you." (Luke 17:21; ESV)

The Kingdom of God is within me and around me? Could that be?  If that is the case then how can He be a separate being "up there" ?  How come I have to wait until I die to know him if all He offers after death is already in me?

My questions led me to change the way I saw God.

So, I now see God as formless, Spirit that strengthens us, creates all things and breathes  through all things. God is everything and everywhere.  Most importantly I see God as described in John, "Anyone who does not love does not know God ,because God is love. (1 John 1:48, ESV)

God is Love.

So if I have this God inside me, this all powerful Love...why am I sick? Why am I so broke?  Why am I so physically limited?  Why can I not even create simple miracles around me?

If God is Love and this Kingdom of Love is within us all, why is the world such a mess?  Why is there so much suffering?  So much poverty?  So much war and chaos?

It took me  a long time and a lot of studying and meditating to come to the realization these things are not of God...they are of the belief we as a race adopted that leaves God out. We believe in limitation and scarcity so ego tells us to expect it, to fight tooth and nail to hang on to the little we have...to defend and attack to survive. 

That stuff  is not of God!  That thought comes from  a belief system derived and maintained by ego.

Ego, as Wayne Dyer used to say, "Edges God Out."

God is Love not fear; peace not war; joy not pain.
God is Love!


Do All Things

We can do all things but it is going to involve some serious housecleaning of our subconscious mind (both the individual and the collective).  We need to dig in deep and find all those limiting beliefs that ego has stored and hidden from our awareness  and throw them out so we can make more room for God.

We then replace each ego limiting and destructive  belief with one based on Love and possibility; we replace doubt and unworthiness with faith and a sense of who we are and Who we have within us. ..  And wow!  ...We will have a brand new life and a brand new world to be proud of. 

We can eventually, as a species, do all things through God who strengthens us.  We can heal. We can expand.  We can create miracles everyday. 

As soon as we truly believe we can, we will do all things!

All is well in my world!