Passion and Samskaras

 Human Life is full of the play of samskaras-tendencies developed by repeated actions.

Vinoba Bhave

Passion is that energy -the Divine  energy that underneath [the samskaras]- is pure love, pure beauty, pure Spirit, pure God.

Michael A. Singer

You really seem to feel "up" when you teach or write. These things fill you with passion, I suppose.

No, not really.  They just help me to open to the passion that is already inside. 

What do you mean? They are not your purpose or Life's work? 

No. They  just help me to fulfill my Life's work. 

What is your life's work, then? 

Releasing the blockages within me that hold the Shakti down

Huh?  What the heck is Shakti, crazy woo-woo lady?

Shakti is the divine energy within all of us.  It is that love, peace, joy, bliss, enthusiasm we feel at certain times and erroneously attribute to the person beside us, the thing we just baught, the goal we just met, or this experience we are having where everything just seems to be perfect. We often mistakenly assume that feeling came from something we did or have....or that it is coming from outside.

Isn't it?

No...Passion is that energy -the Divine  energy that underneath [the samskaras]- is pure love, pure beauty, pure Spirit, pure God .

So, if it is inside us, why do we not feel passion all the time?  Why are so many of us miserable and always striving for a bit of peace and comfort, let alone even dreaming about that joy and bliss stuff, passion entails?

Everything is about the energy flow...

And  most of us have blocked that flow so we seldom feel it lifting us up. We have created these blockages over the flow by clinging to the emotional energy of expereinces we want to repeat and closing up to and resisting the emotional energy we decided we do not want to repeat.  Instead of just letting the energy of Life as it unfolds pass through us...we grab and cling to that which we desire, and close up and push away that which we don't.  When we push away we push down below conscious awareness.  We stuff down on top of this energy flow...blocking it. 

How does that impact our ability to live passionate lives?

Well ...first of all we are going to be very, very senstive to Life based on what we stored inside.  If it was painful, as most samskara origins are, we are going to do what we can to avoid that trigger. And that  will constantly get triggered. It will take so much of our life energy and focus to avoid the resurfacing of the pain that our attention will be dragged down to the samskara level and away from what "could be if we were free" level.   Life will become a struggle. We will suffer

Not everyone suffers. When things work out for us we are happy. What do you have to say about that?

That is a conditional form of happiness and there is so much more of this energy to experience. Since the energy originates inside not outside...as long as you look outward for your fulfillment and passion, you will not find it, or, at the very least, you will not experience it for long. Shakti...needs to be expressed in one way or another.

Sometimes, you will partake in an activity (like writing or teaching does for this human I call "me") that opens the flow up enough to come through in trickles and that feels amazing...We may call that passion and attribute it to whatever we are doing or what is happening "out there". We may seek more and more of that activity or experience...but the feeling we get from our outward  achievments won't last.

Why?

As long as the chunk of blockage is still there ...inside...we will close up again.  Besides what we are experiencing in those moments is just a fraction of what we could be feeling when that samskara is no longer there to block Shakti's full expression.

So what happens if we just leave the blockages there?

Well it will diminish the quality of our Life expereince, stifle what the Divine is here to experience through,  and it is also dangerous.

Dangerous? How?

Blocked energy is dangerous.  The energy always wants to let go. 

The energy is powerful and craves expression. It needs to flow but when it cannot get through our blockages, it circles and builds up a turbulent force on the other side. Sometimes that turbulent energy can push through taking some of the contamination and debris of the painful samskara with it. We, then, may have a nasty emotional reaction that may be followed by a physical one. We may hurt others or ourselves. We see its destructive, held back force, in rage and violence or self-harm.

So what do we do to  prevent these explosive reactions and to experience the joyful side of passion? 

Simple. Shakti needs to be released....to be free to express Itself.  The passion is within you...it is unconditional...free it (somewhat paraphrased)

You have to deal with the energy or else the energy will deal with you.

We need to be willing to let the energy come up without resisting it and pushing it back down. We then need to transmute it...let it go...offer it up to God. We need to make our  Life purpose about freeing this energy,  removing blockages so this passion can flow. We do that not only for these humans we are, but for each other, for Life, and for God. 

All is well.

Michael Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( January, 2026) Spirituality Beyond Rules: Transmuting Passion into Divine Flow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RszOb0bH9g8&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=11&t=1237s

Breaking the Gate of Mystery

 Nature must be enlightened, life must be preserved.

Don't rush, let the fire burn slowly.

Close your eyes and look at your heart of life,..

Let the mind be still, and life be strong.

Let tranquility and spontaneity be the source.

In a hundred days you will see a result:

....

The beauty is boundless and inexplicable, 

All over thebody, vital energy rises.

Who can know such a marvellous experience? 

It's like a dumb person having a beautiful dream.

The spirit radiates throughout 3000 worlds...

In neboulous mixture everything is empty,

The infinite phenomena are all here. 

Marveloous in its mystery, mysterious in its marvel.

All phenomena are born in the union of heaven and earth.

When ultimate reality reveals dualism disappears. 

Now I realize all religions are the same!

Eat when hungry, sleep when tired,

Offer a joss stick [incense]and practice meditation.

The great Tao is just before your eyes.

If you are deluded, you will miss the chance.

....

Breaking the gate of mystery to reach the marvellous.

From the "Song of Silent Sitting" in The Secret of Training the Internal Elixer in the Tai Chi Art by 13th century Taoist priest Master Zhang San Feng (Chan San Fong). He is said to be the father of Tai Chi, changing his hard Shaolin practice of Kung Fu into the softer style later called Tai Chi.

Hmm! This is what I believe I seek from Tai Chi and from yoga. Sure the physical benefits of  these practices are great. By combining Hatha with  24 Yang Style and Tai Chi walking, I feel like I am toning up muscles I never knew I had...and one doesn't feel the "exertion", one might feel, say, at the gym. What I really want from both practices, however, goes beyond the physical. It is the ability to relax into what Life offers, observe it clearly, learn what I need to learn, and then flow with it.  I also want to experience, at least to a small extent: 

The beauty is boundless and inexplicable, All over thebody, vital energy rises. Who can know such a marvellous experience? It's like a dumb person having a beautiful dream.

I want to feel that energy rising in me.

I think the "dumb" here might have two meanings. Well, at least it does for me. Firstly, it refers to the "non-speaking" nature of the experience.  It cannot be conceptualized or verbalized within the framework of human language.  Secondly ...it is like being dumb in the form of "not knowing anything" and suddenly knowing so much at the experiential level. The experience is open for those who can put away their "dogma, doctrine, preconceived ideas of reality" etc. 

Exerpts for the beautiful song provide both the philosophy behind it, and the method required to attain the highest goal in Tai Chi.

The highest goal is the same as the one in Yoga...as the one in most spiritual practices...as the one in all religions.

Now I realize all religions are the same!

Now, though I do not seek samadhi, it would be cool to even for a second break through the gate of mystery for the marvellous! Don't you think? 

How do we do that?

The author encourages meditation. If we do not take the chance to look inward instead of outward as our delusions lead us to do...we might miss the great mystery of the Tao.

All is well 

Wong Kiew Kit (2016) Chapter Three/The Complete Book of Tai Chi Chaun ( Revised Edition) Cosmos/ Kindle Edition.

Consciousness Locked Inside a Glass?

 So, do Thou my Lord

So, do Thou my Lord

Thou and I never apart

Thou and I never apart

Wave of the sea dissolve in the sea

Wave of the sea dissolve in the sea

I am the bubble, make me the sea

I am the bubble, make me the sea....

Yogananda chant

Michael Singer in the below podcast explains  (paraphrased)

Your artificial glass[your ego] that the Ocean filled, is the barrier between you and the Ocean. There really is no seperation....but once you begin to see yourself as the glass and that which is within it...you feel seperate and full of fear as you look out at everything, through the glass, as being "outside" of you and therefore unsafe and uncomfortable. Your focus becomes all about what is inside this glass and how that outside world can either threaten it or help it feel safe. You become very distracted...you cannot see that you are the Ocean.

That made me think of this posible conversation between a liberated being (Mukta) and one yet to realize.

A Glass of Ocean

"Me": I am stuck in this forking glass and it sucks in here. 

Mukta: Really? I don't see a glass.

"Me": Oh stop playing with my head.  I am stuck in this glass and it sucks,. All those creatures out there are trying to get in to hurt me and I am constantly trying to find ways to stop them.  And everytime something nice comes in through the opening on top that makes this glass-living a tad bitter better...I have to cling so hard to keep it in...but it is so bloody exhausting. What can I do to end this struggle?

Mukta: Well, get out of the glass.

"Me": What?  Get out of the glass? I am stuck in here. 

Mukta: Well..if you feel you are stuck... you will be stuck. You can let Life break this glass or knock it over. That works for many.

"Me": No! Definitely not. That is too harsh.That will hurt me. I couldn't handle that.

Mukta: Okay....You can try looking up, instead of looking down like you tend to do, into and through the glass.  If you look up you will see Ocean and only Ocean. You will see that there is no seperation between you and the ocean because Ocean is all there is.

"Me": Oh,  you are so confusing and ridiculous. Be serious. Ocean is out there and I am in here and there all those things out there waiting to attack.  There is no getting out of this glass. It is all there is! How do I make Life better in here??

Mukta: Well...as long as you see yourself stuck in that glass you are not going to be okay. You need to see that the glass isn't there and that who you think you are, is not who you are.

"Me": Huh??

Mukta: Maybe...begin by testing the reality of this glass you think you are in.  Explore it. Examine it...you will see that it really isn't protecting you...that you cannot use it to stop the Life out there from doing what it does. You may eventually see that there really is no glass there...that the Ocean is constantly flowing in and out. You cannot see Truth now because you are so focused on being stuck in a glass that doesn't even exist, you are distracted from the Ocean that you are. 

"Me": OMG...you are so confusing! I know what I feel and think and I just want to know what I have to do to feel good inside. Will you just answer my bloody question. How do I make it better in here? How do I get what I need and stop what is out there from coming in so Life is better in here?

Mukta: I am trying to tell you that you are asking the wrong question. Life isn't meant to be better "in there" because there is no "in there".  There is just Ocean. You can't control the Ocean. Life will be Life.  This Ocean is meant to flow through.  Your problem isn't what is "out there"...it is what is in the glass...it is the fact that you believe yourself to be in this glass in the first place.  There is no glass. Your question should be, "How do I free myself from this illusion of a glass so I can merge back into what I am." 

"Me": What the fork? You are crazy...I won't be getting any help from you, will I? I guess, I have to go on suffering.

Mukta: Sigh! I guess you are not ready yet but no...you do not have to go on suffering. There is a way out but you have to be ready for it. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (February 9, 2026) You Are the Ocean: Escaping the Limits of the Ego Web. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sVFyVkcC7M

Dancing to Experience, Express, and Evolve

 The entire purpose of life is the merger back into the union, the Universe.

Michael A. Singer

What is my dharma? Is a question I often ask myself. Or in other words: "What is my purpose?" 

Of course, the question would be better served if I removed the "my" from it lol...but...I want to know what I am to do with this Life I have been given. I can depersonalize that question a bit by stepping back and asking "What is the purpose, each of us 'humans,' are meant to serve?"

Michael A. Singer tells us our purpose is to simply experience, express, and evolve. We do not do that for the sake of the "little me", the psyche - that self concept we created and over-identified with...we do it for the Source that created us.  We are here to allow consciousness experience the Life we are picking up with our senses on this little spot of Earth we are standing/sitting/lying on. We are a conduit for It to experience and express Life through. We, like all species, keep evolving so this Consciousness can expand...so it can experience and express more and more. 

You are not here for you...you are an instrument of divine will...

Consciousness is constantly reaching out so it can experience life better...this is evolution...the divine force is reaching out through form, and form is constantly changing...the physical body becomes a better house for God to express HimSelf [somewhat paraphrased]

...a plant can reach out to the sun...that is consciousness reaching out to express itself through form...creating a dance.

So, we are dancing. Cool!

We are not the choreographers or main dancers in this dance but we do get to dance. Each step we take on our bloody old point shoes should be made with consciousness in mind.  "How do we make  this next step one that makes this dance a beautiful experience and expression of Life, for Life?" Every step we take should take us back into the union the dance creates. 

I get that. I do.  And I try to consciously do what I can to experience and express in a way that serves the moment in front of me. My motivations are less and less about this "me". (Don't get me wrong...that "me" is still around.) Yet, I still don't know if I...as a body-and-mind-conduit for the consciousness to experience through... am dancing in a way that honors the dance or if I am just tripping over everyones feet lol. I am not hearing clear directions and instructions, any constructive feedback from the choreographer.  So,  I don't really know where on stage to be. I move in the shadows...expressing and experiencing back here...assuming this is where I am supposed to be. 

 "Is this where I am supposed to be? Does consciousness want to experience these shadow areas through this human I call me? Is this my dharma- to experience and express from back here where this expression is seen and heard by  so few, and things are a little more challenging? Tell me this is my dharma and I will embrace it! "

 I put that question out there but I don't hear anything back. 

At the same time I recognize the heliotropic instinct in me. The same natural inclination, I see in my little plant as it stretches its branches out toward the sun. I feel a pull toward the light. So, sometimes I step up into the lime light to expereince and express... but...instantly question if I should be there.  I ask, timidly, "Am I suppose to be dancing up here? Am I good enough?"  

I get no answer. I get no external validation for being seen, there is no obvious rewards or changes in life circumstances for the proverbial "better" to indicate that the universe is approving of my move forward...my expressive movements...so I, as this body and mind, assume I need more practice. My dancing isn't pure enough.  I go back to the shadows. the shadows that I am okay with because they are familiar.  

At the same time, it is heavy back here, overcrowded with stumbling dancers who are suffering from so many injuries being human causes.  I cannot help but see them...feel for them. And because  there is less light and pay for shadow dancers... we are all just  "struggling dancers" back here, trying to make a living and get by. One, then, begins to associate with the darkness and the difficulty. I get a wee bit too focused on the challenges and the negative things in life. Though I still love to dance...I often forget why I am dancing. Do I experience and express Life in a way that serves consciousness, when I do that? Definitely not.

Hmm! Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel like they are loving the dance but would like a little more direction and feedback about their role in the dance? 

Thus, the question, often added on to the question, "What is my dharma?", is,  "How will I know if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing; if I am expressing and experiencing in a way that honors Life?" 

Michael Singer reminds us,

If it isn't your job, Life will let you know.

Hmm! So, I guess I will keep stepping up dancing my heart out....and wait to actually hear, "Okay...you in the first row...go back....you are not quite evolved enough.  You have more inner work to do." 

If I hear that feedback, I will just smile, thank the choreographer, and go back to the work of becoming a better dancer. If I don't hear it, maybe I should just keep dancing in the light so consciousness can experience the bliss it is meant to experience. Afterall, it is not about "me" or "you" as individual dancers, is it? It is about the dance.

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February, 2026) Evolution: The Divine Dance of Consciousness and Form. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ttlf_maZT9g&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Observe...Relax...Allow...Respond

 Life should be touched , not strangled. You've got to relax, let it happen at times and at others move forward with it.

Ray Bradbury

Observe...Relax...Allow...and Respond

Me

I laai in bed when I awoke this morning.  I just happened to see snow falling outside my window and my first thought was, "Observe". More precisely, "Observe without story or commentary, without judgement of whether or not it is nice or not so nice. Don't determine if it is something to feel good about or something to worry about...just observe quietly. Observe it.  Observe your bodily response to it. Observe your breath. Observe what is in this moment as the snow falls outside your window.  Observe." 

The second thought was "Relax. As you observe the body sensation...allow what ever is felt to simply be...but if you notice tension...gently encourage it (do not insist or demand) just encourage a release and relaxation in that area.  If it releases...notice.  If it doesn't...notice. It is all perfectly okay as it is. Just relax into that." 

The third thought was "Observe the breath...Observe the breath and the body response to breath...not controlling or forcing the breath in anyway...just observing....quietly without commentary. Oberve the breath."

The fourth thought came to mind. "Allow"...Allow whatever is in your experience right now to simply be.  A relaxed body makes allowing easier. Relax into what is.  Quieltly (no mental commentary is necessary), softly...allow."

"Breath and body are softening." 

The final thought was " Respond when needed". I felt safe knowing that though there was nothing in that moment I had to do, if something suddenly did happen that needed my attention...in this relaxed, allowing state the body would respond in the the most natural of ways. The body would move automatically through its natural reflexes if necessary. When there is no resistance, when controlling mind  is out of the way, the body's natural rhythmic movements will respond gracefully when necessary. "The only response needed in this moment is to relax more deeply.  Respond." 

So, I lay there for quite some time: Observing, Relaxing into breath,  Allowing and Responding. 

Later, I thought of that in reference to Tai Chi.

In my limited understanding of Tai Chi and other gentle martial arts, I could see why masters teach their students these four things to prepare them for battle; why following this protocol would make them better warriors.   

I know "warrior" and "combat" do not seem to fit into this discussion on relaxation and calm lol...butbear with me. Imagine someone wanting to attack you, coming at you. Remember these four things: Observe quietly...relax...allow...and respond...When we observe the happenings of the world inside and outside of us, we create a certain distance and non-attachment. We do not need to judge it as good or bad, right or wrong, should be or shouldn't be.  It just is. We automatically relax when there is an objective distance between who we are and the drama we are observing. Body and mind will relax. That doesn't mean we stand there paralyzed and do nothing when the person comes at us. We respond. With no tension and mental noise in the way, body is able to respond by naturally reflexing accordingly, using the flow of non-resistance. When the body is not all tensed up at the direction of the mind, it can do what it knows to do without interference.  One necessary move (be it a block or a strike) flows into the next. The body becomes a graceful dancer responding to the partner in front of it. And this dance requires no wasting of energy.  The draining of mental and physical energy is not required, because without "striving mind" in the way the energy of "Chi" can continue to cycle through again and again, while mind remains calm, empty, observing. Peace, no matter what is the outcome.

The person attacking may be taking the more conditioned approach to life. He/she/they likely spend their time looking anxiously about for danger as most of us do. Mind is anything but quiet in its hyper vigilence. They, as the " would be opponent"  are tensing up for what might happen out there. They see you in the corner of the room and it triggers something in them for whatever reason. They resist the trigger-the reality that you are there-with "This is bad, wrong, shouldn't be!" Body and mind tense up even more. They feel they must "do something" to stop this feeling experience they are having, erroneously believing your presence in the room is the cause of it. They react! They run at you in order to remove your presence from the room, their mind, and their version of reality. They strike to fight. Every move they make, to attack you,  is directed by the mind. The tensed up body reacts to the directions of the mind, using force and resistance. Movements, though they may at first have the force of tension behind them, become awkward, draining, and unnaturally forced. Mind remains active, dominating, controlling creating more noise, more tension, more reactivity. "Exhaustion" and "stress" will be the outcome regardless of winning or losing.

This is how most of us approach Life. We spend our time looking around for potential danger while the noisy mind chirps on. We tense up in preparation for what might happen as mind gets noisier and more demanding, promising that if we listen, it will  take care of us. We listen. Something or someone...triggers something we have stored within (on mind's directions) and we feel even more uncomfortable. We say "This is bad, wrong, shouldn't be!" We resist the reality that is unfolding in front of us. This increases the tension making mind and body even more uncomfortable.  We resist that. Mind then screams "Do something!" We listen...We react. In this case, we attack. And in this mode, we, as the twisted psyche, are in the way, we are working against  the natural flow of energy in the body...that energy that moves the body and recycles itself.  Regardless, if we win or lose the fight...we exhaust ourselves and stress ourselves out. We suffer! Sigh!

So, we have a choice.  We can approach Life like we are doing Tai Chi or we can approach Life like we need to attack it.  Hmm!  I would suggest we put away our conditioned ways of reacting: the looking for danger---the tensing up---the resisting reality---and the reactivity that exhausts us and leads to suffering. I suggest that we take on the Tai Chi approach to life: Observe Objectively and quietly---relax...allow...and respond. I suggest we, as psyches and striving minds, get out of Chi's way.

Hmm! But what do I know?

All is well.

Are We Giving if there is no Receiving?

 

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

Pablo Picasso

I woke up with these profound questions on my mind and a desire to come here to contemplate them. The questions were, "If particles are nothing but invisible vibrations until they are observed; if a sound is not a sound until it is heard; if phenomena only become reality once it is perceived by someone ...can we give without having someone to receive? Are our giving actions actually 'gifts" if there is no one outside self to receive them? Are we actually giving of Self with our purest, most loving and generous offerings, if no one notices, or accepts what we 'put out there to be taken'? "

I love to give...I do.  I love to give. It is inherent in me...to offer what I have material wise, to give what I have skill wise, or meager-talent-wise; time-wise, or energy-wise to others. Many times, I have no specific receiver in mind when I give (if it is giving that I do...thus my questioning). It is like "This is for any being out there that might need this that I have." 

It just seems to be the most natural thing in the world to do - give what we have.

 In the same way I gather food from my kitchen and place it out for the crows (that I assume are hungry) to pick from, I tend to gather what I can from this being and I put it "out there" for whomever to pick and choose from.  If the crows don't like what I put out ...it is no big deal. There is no need to feel insulted. I tell myself the same thing when I share "my gifts" with the world. For the most part...I am not attached to outcome. I am no longer looking for someone to think more of me or to love what I offer (Well, not so much anyway :)). My goal is to do what comes natural to me....to create...to learn...to teach...and to give.  As soon as the offering is released from my hands...I let it go.  I may peek out the proverbial window to see if others are being fed in some way by what I offer. I may feel warmed and validated that "I am doing good...I am on the right path" when I see that they are picking away at it, but I no longer get deflated when I see they are looking down at the pile and deciding to fly past. (Most beings fly past.) I leave that decision with the potential receiver or rejector. 

If most do not notice the pile, I realize that is on me for not making it more visible. Truth is, I often do not care to make it more visible for all kinds of reasons. I tell myself that those that are really hungry for what I offer, will find it. Besides the effort of creating, as wonderful as it is, drains me of the energy needed to make fancier and more visible offerings. I leave the visibility of the pile up to to the natural flow of Life.   

So, over the years I have put a lot out there in the form of writings, teaching materials, books, articles, poetry, speeches, or my presence when needed... Though they are not "eye-catching" enough to draw in the flocks lol, I have made many, many piles of offerings. More importantly, I have spent a lot of time, and energy collecting and creating and getting stuff ready to be put in those piles. I am not monetizing, making money, or gaining notoriety from any of it. Don't get me wrong...I would love to be paid as a human for doing what I love to do. So, I do put some effort and time into seeking ways for that to happen, but it is not my motivation for doing what I do. I do, for example, seek paying teaching jobs that allow me to receive for what I give, before pursuing unpaid teaching activities. But if there are no paid gigs in front of this human...I don't say, "Oh, I can't teach!'.  Of course, I can teach. I use the time I have to teach, to create and offer teaching materials to others. I think about my somewhat delusional and grandiose motivation to help newcomers to this country learn English...I am no longer getting paid doing that, but I still spend my time doing it. I wrote books and spent hours creating tutorials to offer on-line. Why? It seems like the most natural thing for this human to do. I learned something that may be helpful to others ...so I feel the need to share it, offer it, teach it etc. There is very little external reward for my offerings. 

In fact, my offerings are seldom even "noticed or accepted" by others...they are just left out in the sun and rain to rot and decay like unwanted left-overs even the crows turn their heads away from.  That sounds a little dramatic, I know...but that is what happens to offerings that are not received, isn't it? They fade away, feeding no one. And that is where the question comes from. "Are they still gifts even though no one wants them?" 

They are gifts to the person creating because there is no greater feeling in the world than that which comes when we are creating in a medium, we are passionate about.  I love to write and I love to teach. I feel joy when I use these mediums to create, even when there are no socially approved outcomes. The process is amazing. So, using the skills, talents, and know-how we have within, we create! Though we may enjoy the process, it still requires earthly time, effort, and energy to create. Once something is created one has to ask, "Now what do I do with this?" It only makes sense, doesn't it, to give it away. That is the purest and most wholesome motivation, isn't it? We are here to give. That is where the dilemma comes in. You created something and attempt to give it away...but what if no one out there wants it therefore, what if no other receives it? It is like it it is hanging in the air between you as the sender and a potential receiver. No one has their hands on it anymore. Is it still a gift? 

If  we work hard at pursuing an inherent trait (however meager), of making  what we assume to be the most altruistic use of our skills, talents, experience-earned knowledge and know-how, of sharing what we truly believe to be beautiful or beneficial ...but no other being accepts it as such...is it still a "gift"? "If a singer with an amazing voice and a passion for singing is completely alone in the world with no other being around, will the song she is singing be a gift? To whom? Does it have to be received by a listener for it to be a gift?  Despite her passion and joy when singing...is she wasting this energy she is meant to use "giving back to Life"... on pursuing a selfish passion? Is it just a misdirected use of energy and time to pursue this gifting? 

I don't know how much time I have left on this planet.  I want to make every moment about giving back to Life while I am here.  I want to "give" but I am not sure if I am giving. I tell myself that I will write because it is like leaving a record behind.  This blog, for example, may be read by lots of bots but very few people now so it isn't much of a gift...but, maybe decades after I am gone more people will come across it and say, "I get it!!" They will pick from this pile and get fed from it.  The same with the teaching I do in other areas....maybe no one wants it now but in the future maybe someone will get what they need from it. 

And if the criteria for something being a gift is that one other receives it...I got that here.  I know the numbers are not what they seem lol but I know I have a couple of readers, at least, that keep coming back.  That is enough. I have 78 subscribers to the YouTube channel I attempt to answer challenging Life questions on, and that's a lecture hall. On the All About Sound tutorials I have 4 subscribers and one faithful student who always gives me the thumbs up (Thanks Laura). That is enough to give me a reason to keep creating in this area.  That makes this giving I do real even if the above question remains unanswered. 

I will keep giving. :)

All is well in my world.

Live and Learn

 Live as if you are going to die tomorrow; learn as if you are going to live forever.

Mahatma Gandhi

Make every moment of life precious; and learn deeply for  that which will go on beyond this incarnation.

All is well

Growing Inside

 The meaning of your life is to go back up with less than you lived with

I observed myself this morning as a long stored samskara was activated in me when I woke up.  I could feel it in the spot in my gut where it is stored. I had the same visceral reactivation, I always get that causes the amygdala to scream, "run"...though its voice today was more at a whisper than a scream, it was there.  I watched as this human I call "me" pulled the pillow over her head and began to tense and tighten up.  I watched the old familiar thought train rolling in to the station...with a puff of "You should be ashamed of yourself" in some form or another with every "choo-choo"it made. I felt the feeling in my gut get tighter and heavier. There was definitely disturbance within!

This human really, really wanted to run from that feeling; to do something distracting to take the mind off of it; to do what it was feeling guilty about not doing just to stop the feeling; to fill the mind with other thoughts; or to rationalize with self and the world about why she was making the choice that led to the shame experience.  

Yeah, I felt shame and guilt. I was, therefore, judging this human I call "me" very harshly....

If you are judging yourself ...you will feel guilt and shame

Who was judging?  At the time it was hard to see who was judging but now, on reflection, I can see that the ego was judging this "human I call me" for not meeting social expectations. Ego was both feeling and creating the shame.  This shame felt "awful" in its familiarity to the body and the mind.  The "me" wanted the feeling gone...so it encouraged Shamer ego to stick up its clammy hand to be tagged by Redeemer's. It wanted to find something to be "proud of" that would reduce this feeling of shame. Redeemer, however, was nowhere to be found this morning. The deeply held core belief of "unworthiness" was too prominent. 

I almost fell back into old ways of reacting. I almost got lost once again in this experience  I almost got lost in that desire to "run" from this activation in any of the ways I have a habit of running in. I wanted to put my mental hands up and scream "No!" and to roughly shove it all back down.

...but ...

Something in this being softened and I felt this inner call to simply "Sit back and watch."...so I did. It didn't feel pleasant as I watched, and I acknowledged that, reminding myself it just is...it is.  I reminded myself that this was simply an activation of a samskara that needs to come up. Instead of turning from it, I consciously turned towards it. 

I looked deeply at it. I could see that though it was still "painful", it was weaker than it was in the past. It was holding less disturbed energy. It already diminished so much. What remained of it, was enough to cause discomfort. 

I also watched the old core belief associated with it pull up with the thought train. I recognized that messaging, knew where it came from, and I understood it. More than anything, I could see it was just a "thought"...it wasn't reality.    

I then did the opposite of what body and mind were encouraging me to do...I relaxed into the experience and I just watched. I, amid settling into the "what isness" of a samskara trying to make itself known, used my watch to do an EDA scan. The results showed that I was indeed more relaxed than normal. In the midst of a painful samskara activation, body and mind were relaxed! Imagine.  Oh, I still felt the shame in my body and in my emotional experience; I could still feel the belief of unworthiness tugging at me; I still had this feeling of fear of some sort of impending social punishment coming to me for not meeting expectations....but I was able to relax. 

We can relax into disturbance! 

How?

I did not resist it knowing that it is resistance that causes most of our suffering. (Desire is simply a means of resisting what is). I redirected consciousness. I asked the Self in this human I call "me" to take the reins from ego. It did. The Objective Observer gently wrapped the experience in awareness. Mind you, it was a little like trying to wrap a blanket around a toddler having a temper tantrum lol...but the experience was gradually  held by the Observer. That awareness created space between the Observer and what was being observed. In this space, I could see that the samskara reactivation was simply something I was observing.  Though the sensations in the body and the experience of pain and discomfort were real, it wasn't who I was.  And the stored stuff that was coming through in the experience, in the form of old messaging and memory trapped within that samskara, was not reality. It was all something that happened long ago...that was over...that was done. It was not happening at the time I was observing, therefore it wasn't the  present reality. I didn't have to follow it back into a time that is no longer real.  My willingness to feel and explore what was going on within me softened and loosened that already shrinking samskara even more. I imagine the next time it gets activated, it will be even less powerful than it was this morning. 

Samskara release does not have to be like coughing up a fur ball. It does not have to be that dramatic.  It can occur slowly and somewhat gently as it seems to be happening with this particular samskara I experienced this morning. I could see that this one "knot" is shrinking, albeit slowly. Purification doesn't have to be a struggle. We can purify from this blocked disturbed energy known as samskara simply through a willingness to relax, allow, and observe.

Resistance to pain we stored inside or the triggers that Life throws our way is never the answer. When we resist that we resist reality. We resist Life. We will never win when we do that. Reality is reality and it always wins.

Remember, that this is all learning platform. Learning to relax into the suchness of Life even when it is challenging or painful is a game we must practice to get better at.  We need to show up for practice and every experience in Life is an opportunity to practice.

Practice what? Practice getting clean and clear. Practice tapping into unconditional well-being and love. Practice getting beyond that which is holding us back. Practice letting go of that which does not serve Life.

This is purification...and our goal in purification is...to go back up with less garbage than we are living with now. 

I came across this video that I put up a few months ago...was perfectly appropriate in its appropriate imperfection. lol

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February, 2026) Living Untethered: The New Year as a Doorway to Freedom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuxVi8Yre2E&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

"Karmanology" Instead of Psychology

 Did you let it pass through?

Michael A. Singer

Now that is a question a "karmanologist" would ask a client on their couch.  (Not sure if there is such a thing called karamanology lol...it was a term I heard Michael Singer using and it stuck). A psychologist might ask about what happened in your past and might get stuck there by saying, "Oh you are repressing a challenging memory in your psyche." The psychologist focuses on the "psyche" but doesn't go beyond.  

Instead of calling it "a repressed or suppressed memory or emotion" as a psychologist might, the karmanologist would say..."Oh you have some samskaras blocking your energy flow and that is why you are suffering. You need to let them pass through?"

Psychology and Psychologists

 A psychologist might agree to some extent. They would then spend all your sessions tying to help you, as a psyche, to "cope" with the challenges of life and this so called trauma stuck within you. He or she will empathize with your resistance , condoning it, because that is the "normal thing" to do. They will respond to each life challenge you share with, "Oh that would be so difficult.  I see why you feel the way you do; why you did what you did. I see your pain and I validate it."  

They will help you to improve your life in a way that soothes the psyche, protects it, makes it stronger. They will help you to learn and focus on what you want from life.They will help you find ways to manipulate, fix, and control the life outside yourself that will do just that by working on you attaining your "smart goals."  

Then they will help you to change or avoid those things that you don't like. They will help you to create mental safe- spaces to go where you can hide from life when it does something you don't like but can't control.  You will hear alot of "This is healthy" in other words, "This is good, right, and should be." and "This is unhealthy" in other words "This is bad, wrong, shouldn't be." And if you ask, "Healthy or unhealthy for what?" you will discover , in one way or another, for "The psyche." 

The thing about this type of therapy is that it is a treatment that you never really leave.  You will need to go back again and again. Why? Because a psyche can never be healed and whole. Hmm!

Karmanology and karmanologists

A karmanologist, on the other hand,  would not spend any time soothing a psyche or empathizing with your resistance.  They would say, instead, to every life challenge you present with, "Oh wonderful!!! Great!! I am so glad life is so challenging for you! I mean I know you are feeling all these human emotions and they are aren't comfortable but man...this is great. This can get you to a higher place. Let's hope you get more. For now... get over this thing you are bothered about! It's done! Over! Let it go! Let that stuff that it triggered come up, though, even if it hurts. And it is going to hurt!  Deal with that. We want it up and out! " 

A karmanologist will not spend a second soothing the psyche...instead they will rejoice at its attack.  They do not want to help you build it up, strengthen it or soothe it.  They want to see it disamantled by all these challenges you are complaining about. They want it gone! They will not encourage you to set "smart goals" or find ways to get what the psyche wants.  

They will not tell you to resist Life's hardship either...they will tell you to relax into it. They know that the source of all your problems has nothing to do with Life not catering to your likes or dislikes. Your so called suffering has nothing to do with whether or not Life is obliging...it has to do with the fact that you have the audacity to like or dislike. 

Karmanology, if it were to be a real thing, uses spirtual anlaysis rather than psychoanalysis...Self-reflection rather than self-reflection. It uses Consciousness-Being-Therapy rather than Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy. These fall under the title: Purification and Realization. 

Purification and Realization?

Purification  is all about releasing those samskaras you trapped inside you. Therapy will be built around you, first of all, examing how your likes and dilikes get you into trouble. Then you will work on giving up your likes and dislikes and experiencing what is as it is.  Therapists trained in these methodologies know that the outside has nothing to do with your suffering...other than triggering  what is inside. They will remind you, maybe not so gently, that you are responsible for what is inside you...no one or nothing else.  But "Response-able" means you have the power and ability to change how you see and respond to Life. Instead of how to avoid or cope with those samskara triggers, he/she/they will tell you to embrace them. 

The realization part of this approach is aimed at helping the client to see that they are not the problematic entity they call "me" but that which is watching this human do what it does. The psyche will be explored as it thinks, does, and suffers the way it does. You will slowly be helped to see that you are not your psyche...that it is just a protective shell you created and wear. Who you are...beneath that shell... is not suffering. Only this thing the mind created is.  You are the One that is observing this human suffer. Then, when you are ready, the Karma therapist will encourage you to trace back the Observer to its Source...and man oh man...healing will be complete! 

Wow! That is what I believe the difference is between a psychological therapy healing and a yogic one. Karmanology would be a very healing therapy in the world,  don't you think?   Which method would you choose to end the suffering in your life?

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( February, 2026) The Art of Spirituality: From Practice to Liberation.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rl3glOzxtI&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Living Simply

 Einstein said, "I didn't arrive at the understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind." He got there through intuition [attunement with the space]. 

Ram Dass

Ram Dass shares in the below linked podcast ,

As long as I kept looking for things in time, I kept suffering. 

He reminds us that freedom from suffering is as simple as changing one's mind. We have to see that who we thought we were and our understanding of the world we live is often just a result of our socialization and conditioning.  It isn't reality. We were taught what absolute reality was...but now we need to look at what we were taught about this so called "absolute reality", and see the relativity of it. We need to 

 ....stop moving from one space to another with a set of definitions of who we are 

Who we are isn't who we think we are...We need to start examining what we are is this space that has nothing to do with body or what roles we have taken on; nothing to do with what we have or what we do.  If we look at the wisest and most peaceful people in the world, we will see that they live simply: have little, do litle, say little etc.

the source of their satisfaction lies in the nature of their being rather than in the nature of their having or their doing.

The quality of wise people seems to be the simplicity of their life. Instead of the "man over nature" mentally most of us in the west have been conditioned to believe is the way to go...the wise and peaceful go the "man in nature" route. It is all about attuning to what is rather than intellectualizing.  They see themselves not as the "doing" or the "having" but as the "being."

Contemplating this, I need to remind myself that I am not what I sense, have, do, or how I am indentified by self or others. "I am"...simply that. I am that "I am" that may do something or that may take on a role. "I am"... and then I teach; "I am;"... and then I write; "I am'... and then I parent; "I am"... and then I grandparent; "I am"... and  then I practice yoga. "I am"... first and foremost. So, it really doesn't matter what I do, what I have, who I am with, where I am living. "I am" first. That doesn't mean, I cannot do, or own, or make choices...but by knowing that "I am" first and foremost, the choices I make will be based on what is better for the "I am", rather than what will serve this identification  or idea I was taught to have of myself and the world. It will mean less struggling and striving. With that realization, we can experience  the peace in living simply.

Living simply, however, is not easy for us humans, is it?  We don't yet understand the beauty and  perfection of simplicity. We do not yet understand that we are not the roles we have been conditioned to take on. We do not understand that we simply are...

an entity that has taken birth and is passing through a series of experiences, all of which are useful to help one awaken to the reality of Self.

Instead, most of us continue to live stressful lives of striving, struggle, pain and suffering because we identify with these "little mes" and continue to buy in to society's view of absolute reality:" Have more! Do more!" This creates problem after problem, dissatisfaction after disatisfaction, craving for relief after craving, and crsisis after crisis. We turn away from the beauty simplicity offers to solve this problematic living when all we have to do with each and every "crisis" is bring it down to the simplicity of breath.  To focus on breath rather than it.  That seems too simple, doesn't it?  

Yet, in that breath focus, we can create distance and find the empty space that surrounds us, that will free us from the suffering we are identifying with.

It is the space around experiences that gives one leverage from the pain...that space is just pure awareness. Who we are, is that awareness...a being who is identified with the space [rather than the problematic 'me']. Such a person, doesn't lose their ability to think and act...in fact [it becomes] more optimal...One goes beyond concepts of this or that....beyond polarities...This doesn't mean that one is unable to live with polartities...one gets beyond them.

The above is somewhat paraphrased.

It would benefit us all to live quietly, empty, openly, and spaciously...to break this identification with intelliect, senses, social roles, and bodies. Suffering, Dass tells us,  comes from attachment, or identification or clinging  to our senses, to our thoughts, and to our models of self, The more we do, the more we suffer. I want to stop doing it. I want to live simply. What about you?

All is well

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network ( January 2026) The Delight of Simplicity feat. Daniel Goldman. Episode 296.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaRIim72uQ8&t=1s

The Soft Approach to Advice

 Advice is like snow- the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I was looking for a quote so I could complete a quick entry today (company coming in a few hours and I need to freshen up this place a bit). I seen the author before I seen the quote and jumped to put it down.  Sammy boy was the poet I most gravitated to and did papers on in my English Lit classes. Once again, I had to put down and analyse his words.

Of course, I always taught students in my Communication classes at the college to be very, very careful with unsolicited advice. ...to avoid it unless they were directly asked for it...and then to deliver it softly. Advice that comes out harshly tainted with judgement and conviction on the other person's part will be grating. It will not be received well.

Softer, with the least amount of effort and force is the best way to approach naything, isn't it? 

All is well. 

Doing What We Love

 You go to work for the same reason an artist paints in the woods in her spare time when no one will ever see the painting..... "I have something in me that wants to express itself and work is the manifestation of that expression." And someday you are going to find out that it doesn’t make any difference what you are doing. It is the expression and the act of doing it that brings about joy, that brings about fulfillment. Work is not a place that you go to get something so you can be fulfilled. Work is a place that you go that in sharing and giving you achieve a state of fulfillment.

Michael A. Singer

I was reminded of the above truth yesterday, many hours after I wrote the entry I did yesterday about "not working." I was wondering what to do with the books I have already written in my questioning , "should I write more?" This ego didn't get the compensation egos expect from "work" ...especially  "finished works" that took much effort, struggle, and time.  It did not get the right kind of feedback other than , "Maybe you shouldn't give those books to others...they are not quite good enough yet."  That one line from one person led me to abandon a project I was so passionate about.  I gave up on the books I already wrote in this little series and I gave up the notion of writing the others I intended to write.  I also abandoned the books and the teaching I was hoping to offer to newcomers to help them improve their English...to help break down those barriers of connection they may be experiencing in a new country. Not only did I abandon these things I chastised this human I call "me" for having the arrogance and audacity for even writing them...and actually handing out a few copie sto ohers. "Who does she  think she is?" I was observing myself go through a very challenging and heavy sense of failure intensified with shame. Nasty! Why?  Becasue I wrote some books. Duh!

When I was writing all these books I wrote I was not focusing on the outcome.  I was not focusing solely on getting to some proverbial podium...I was like the guy climbing the skyscraper...climbing for the sake of climbing...loving what I was doing...enjoying the process even though it required time and effort...It was, for the most part, effortless action and non-resistance that I offered these projects as well as passion...a great deal of passion.  I felt inspired...I felt connected to each moment I was writing these books....time just flew by. I felt a purpose for being here...like I had some worthwhile thing to offer the world. It really wasn't about ego...but ..

Ego did pop in again and again...to wonder about the perks, the path  that would generate an income while I did what I loved ( teach). It was not only the writing and the creating part of these projects that motivated me...it was the teaching.  Man, I truly just love to teach! Redeemer ego wanted to use these "soul-inspired" projects to redeem this "me" and when "me" got anything but redeemed from these completed works...when there was no "fruits of action" to claim, Shamer ego qickly replaced ego. That one bit of constructive feedback from another just validated Shamer's presence. Sigh! So, I chastised myself for my arrogance, slipped all the books in a box, out of sight, and gave up even talking about them, let alone  doing anything with them. I was embarassed. Ego was so prominent, I forgot why I wrote them in the first place.  I forgot how I felt when I wrote them.

I also forgot how much I love to teach and how my soul is constantly looking for avenues where I can teach...like for example here or in my vlogg.  Shamer will still come in with, "Who am I to teach anyone anything?" followed by a Redeemer that says, "Maybe you will reap rewards  for teaching in some way. Imagine getting paid for doing what you love to do? Maybe, teaching in this way will save you? Maybe it will put an end to Shamer once and for all?" Then, just as quickly Shamer will pop back up to say, "Not so quick buddy! Who do you think you are "teaching" anyone anything.  You do not have the qualifications. Your writing is far from perfect.  ...and look people are telling you it isn't good enough!  Shame on you for thinking otherwise!" 

When the ego twins are not battling it out, teaching is a truly giving experience for me.  I know I was made to be a teacher of some kind. I "open" when I teach. Sure, I need money and it would be nice to be paid for what I love to do...but truth is I just love teaching. And because of that, I am good at it. Its my thing...just as climbing was the thing for the guy on Netflix. I don't need to get to the top, I just need to climb. :)

YYesterday, I sat down at my desk in the office in eye view of  the language learning book I had given up on. I felt the cringe in my belly...a sign of some repressed and suppresed thing I was resisting. With this stuck feeling, I visualized Shamer having Redeemer down in a headlock, and  I wanted to "do something", anything to escape this feeling of shame induced stuckness. I seen myself resisting the feeling and the moment I was in, looking for something more or "other than." A common but unwholesome trait...for sure...but through it something wanted to be heard. As I looked at the book in front of me, I felt this compulsion to open up the Youtube channel full of tutorials I created to support the learning this book offered.  I opened it up and the next thing I knew I was opening up a blank power point presentation creating another tutorial.  It felt wonderful!!! I felt so absorbed and lost in the process!  I remembered, again, why I wrote the books I wrote - for the joy of it. There was no "me"...just this teacher creating teaching material. I said to myself..."It doesn't matter if anyone other than these 4 subscribers I have on my channel ever hear of me; it doesn't matter if I make another cent in my life teaching...I can still teach.  I can teach for the sake of teaching; just like I come here to do what I do here for the sake of something I do not understand." I felt such purpose and passion and joy just doing what some would call " a stupid powerpoint presentation."

In those hours there was no Redeemer or no Shamer...there was no ego at all... and it was so freeing! 

"I I have something in me that wants to express itself...and this work is the manifestation of that expressing.

All is well

W

A Void or a Rut?

 A spiritual void is a, often uncomfortable, stage in a spiritual journey characterized by feelings of emptiness, lack of purpose, and disconnection from a higher power. It represents a "spiritual cacoon" phase following a dark night of the soul where old identities were dissolved but new ones haven't yet emerged. It is not a permanent state, but a necessary, albiet difficult period of rest and inner reorganization.

AI Overview

Since I moved to this spot almost six weeks ago...I did not "do" much in terms of "social productivity"and purpose. I didn't make a cent to offset the cost of the transition. Nor, did I embrace the solitude for deeper spiritual connection. Sigh!

 The idea was that this would be much more affordable in the long run...but we are not in the long part of the run yet.  We are just getting out of the blocks. It wasn't such a graceful start for this human I call "me". She has already tripped over her own feet, nose-planted into the track, and is now having hard time getting back up. "Awkward!" :) I spent a lot and haven't worked to earn an income to repay what was spent...only because the opportunities have not arrived for a shift I could take or get to. (And to be honest...I avoid because I hate being on call...a thing from my days as a casual nurse that still haunts me...I prefer a predictable routine when it comes to work.) I applied for work on-line...flunked an assessment I thought would come so naturally to me...even if I were to get the job after that...they can no longer get a hold of me because I have lost my phone. (I bought out my phone a while back with the intention of reducing my phone bill. Life has a great sense of humour, doesn't it lol?) Anyway...a lot of debt and little money coming in. (I am sure others can relate to that one :)) So, I have a bit of a "cringe" feeling when I look at my bank account , especially when I have loved ones calling me to say, "Could you lend me this until I get paid?" I seem to be their only option for the things that are "needed."  Isn't that ironic considering the state of my financial affairs? Like really.  I also feel the need to find the money somehow and in someway, even if it means going into much greater debt, to get a loved one into a program that she feels might  may save her life...or at the very least, save me, in the sense of  my being able to say, "I did everything a parent could possibly do. The rest is up to you." So...I can at least make peace with any possible outcome.  Sigh!

This move was not only meant as a finacial salvation or a means to assist those I left behind to become more socially, financially, and emotionally independent of this "me" (which is not working very well for some...let me tell ya), but also for this me to gain a little "peace and space" to focus on the healing I have to do. Hmm! Not so successful in that area either lol. I have been called down to assist with the "consequence of my leaving" or pulled into that dramatic consequence via phone many times a day since I closed those doors behind me.  Think of that line from the Godfather, "They keep pulling me back in!!" . Sigh! Pretty heavy. I have not, as of yet, had  as much peace as I assumed I would find here. I do find it out there when I am walking (when I don't hear robins singing lol), when I do my Tai Chi and yoga practice, and when I meditate.  But...I have not been meditating enough ...for one reason or another. Sigh! I may not be able to control much but I can control how many times I sit to meditate and how long I stay there. Sigh! (How many sighs was that?)

Writing? Other than what I write here, haven't done much of that either.  I sat down at my desk yesterday in the small office we created and pulled out a novel I was working on...and it was like, "What do I do with this? What do I do with anything I wrote?  Just let them sit on my book shelf collecting dust?" I was stuck!

Why am I so forking stuck?

Could it be that I am in what some would call the "spiritual void", a place where I feel "stuck" but I am not really stuck?  I did very recently go through a "dark night of the soul" where I really had a good look at my ego identities and began the process of getting beyond them. I observe the way things are working out now: no calls for work, failing an assessment, losing my phone, the distance between here and there so I cannot "respond" as quickly as others would like; no money to the point of soon not being able to lend 20 dollars to a suffering other; not having a car; this feeling of isoation and "boredom."  Maybe... all are exactly as they should be so that I do what needs to be done...focus on this human and heal? Sigh.(must go back and count all the sighs I put down here lol) . Maybe? It would be nice to attribute some higher meaning to this thing I am experiencing. I would like to think of it as a temporary cacoon that I will emerge beautifully from...instead of a rut that is sucking me in. 

All is well

Being Unconditionally Okay

 When you are okay...it becomes the motive of action ...you want to express yourself, you want to fix what is wrong without wanting to be compensated...you are filled with love, joy all the time. In that state you want to express the beauty that you feel like an artist wants to paint. 

Michael Singer

While most of us are going around the planet saying, I am not okay! How can I be okay? or I am not okay and I have given up finding a way to be okay, Michael Singer reminds us,

There is a way of being okay unconditionally.

He tells us we are divine creations experiencing this Life through our human forms.  Hmm! If that is so, are we giving this divine creator, this infinite, timeless energy, or "God" something beautiful and amazing to experience by soaking in every momentary offering that unfolds in front of us and using it to create beautiful expressions of what is, that God can enjoy experiencing through us?   Or are we taking this infinite, Divine Essence down to some tiny slum in our mind that we call "my life"  saying, "This is all there is to see!"

I know what I tend to do. What about you?

I want to be unconditionally okay.  I want to paint beautiful works of art that express the beauty of this Life...but too often I am too busy taking God down to the slums. 

Unconditional Wellness: An Example

There is a big difference between conditional and unconditional wellness, right? I know I talked alot lately about "conditional wellness"-  the problem with succumbing to the human tendency towards striving to get to some condition, place and time other than this.  I compared it to an athletic pursuit aimed solely at getting to the podium.  Maybe, I didn't stress enough that not all athletic pursuit involves unhealthy striving. As long as we are embracing each moment training, practicing, performing as if it, itself, was the achievement than the sport is a beautiful expression of Life...something worthy for God to see the world through. We can take God out of the slum and into the "zone" or the "flow". 

 I watched a dude on Netflix climb a skyscraper yesterday.  For 12 years he thought about climbing that building. He visualized it; and he trained and strained to develop the endurance, strength and skills necessary to accomplish such a feat.  Was this unwholesome striving? Was this conditional or unconditional wellness?

It was unconditional because his well being was not dependent on getting his goal met.  He just wanted to climb for the sake of climbing.  He wanted to experience something different for the sake of experiencing.  Sure, he had to train to be able to do that but when I watched him training I could see that he enjoyed that too. His verbalized goal, I heard,  wasn't to get to the top...it was "to climb a skyscraper." Sure, he had to visualize some proverbial "end goal" before he began but he didn't stomp down all those moments that would take him there. He wasn't escaping each moment or running away from what is.  He was climbing into each moment, embracing reality and its challenges ( pain, wind, slippery glass and steel, etc).  He was embracing the suchness of Life. He was embracing each and every moment as he climbed.  Doing such a dangerous thing meant that he had to concentrate on every step along the way as if it was the only step.  He simply climbed one ledge at a time. He expressed to the commentators throughout the climb that he could not think about the summit up ahead. He could not think about the distance beneath him.  All he could think about was the step he was taking, the moment he was in. He was definitely in the moment and he seemed, by the expression on his face, to be truly appreciating it.

There was no striving, resistance, or effort observed in the actual climb either.  It literally looked like he was flowing up the building. He was in the flow, as he and others commented. defying gravity, defying fear, and defying human limitation.   It was beautiful effortless action...full of graceful, resistance-free movement...His climbing reminded me of the line from that Chinese poem, 

"Entering the forest, he does not disturb a blade of grass; Entering the water he does not make a ripple". 

It was as if he was dancing with the building instead of struggling against it. It was a beautiful, though terrifying, dance to watch.

One would expect a grand reaction once he reached the top and  achieved this major goal but his reaction did not change much from the one he expressed at the base of the building to the one he expressed at the top. It was all awesome...no moment better than the next. It was like his expression of accomplishment and "getting somewhere" was no different from one floor to the next. Throughout the climb, he would get to a certain point, turn and face the crowd with a huge smile and a wave.  Then he would stand on the edge of wherever he was, look about him, and comment on the "amazing view."  He was able to take the time to enjoy the view. Whether he knew it or not, he was giving God a unique and powerful view to experience as well each and every time, something very few humans could give. The outcome didn't inflate him, telling me that his being on that building wasn't about serving ego.  It was much deeper and at the same time much simpler than that.  He was experiencing and honoring Life and thereby doing what he was put on the planet to do...fully experience what it is like to be a human- who just happened to climb- in this world.

He was okay with being a human.  He wanted to express that okayness, that joy, that love through his art medium...climbing. He was expressing beauty for all of divine creation to see and experience through him. He may not call himself an evolved human ...but it was an awakened master I watched climbing that skyscraper. 

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( January 26, 2025) Why You Do What You Do: The True Path to Inner Freedom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME3eEbk1A7w

The Line of Least Resistance

One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things. He moves in harmony with the present moment always knowing the truth of just what to do.

Wayne Dyer's translation of Verse 8 of Tao Te Ching in "Change You Thoughts; Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao (2007)

I am obsessed these days with giving up my habitual human pattern of resisting reality so I can simply fall into the flow of Life.  Where I once efforted and felt the need to "force" this human to do things....which often equated to struggling against something...I am determined ( I suppose determinantion is a form of force...my bad lol) to relax into what is and follow the line of least resistance.

That is one of the reasons I resumed a Tai Chi practice, a practice based on ancient Taoist and Zen philosophy. I want to observe, understand, honor, and go with Life energy rather than against it. 

Even though you can not describe energy or you cannot even describe reality everyone knows perfectly well what it is...you simply feel it. And you feel energy through a multitude of vibrations..

Well if that is the case, crazy lady, why do so many humans strive, work hard, struggle against, and fight to survive this energy?

Hmm!

Watts tells us that we can't feel all these waves of energy at once. So, we learn to select using our very selective sensory organs and our conditioning. We learn to consciously choose what is important and what is unimportant; what is pleasurable over what is unpleasurable. We are conditioned to determine what is worthy and what is unworthy of our living experience. And we are taught to actively pull the pleasurable into our experience and forcefully push the unpleasant out of our experiences. Our selecting leads to preferring andtensing up against...both requiring resistance which is like struggling to swim against the natural flow of a current. 

So, why Tai Chi and what does it have to teach about going with the flow?

Many thing, in fact. One of the simplest things this ancient practice (based on both Taosit and Zen philosophy)  teaches, which can have the greatest impact on our lives, is how to step mindfully but without effort...

Huh?

Watch how you step and make each step count. Place the heal...slowly, gently on the earth and then naturally roll forward onto the balls of the feet when moving forward; step slowly, gracefully backwards by placing the balls of the feet on the earth before rolling onto the heels.  With each step ground, balance...find your stable center before moving to the next step. Take one step at a time. This is the same directions given in Zen walking meditation.  We do not need to stomp our feet mindlessly down with force, effort, and speed to get up ahead somewhere fast. Each step can be a breath...each step can be an effortless and resistance-free "Yes" to Life as it is. As far as Tai Chi as a martial art...There is more grounding power, more balance and stability in the step that is mindful, natural and relaxed than the step that carries force.

Alan Watts reminds us that everytime we do something we are falling...if we knew that we wouldnt make a sound when walking

 Entering the forest he does not disturb a blade of grass; entering the water he doesnt make a ripple. Zen saying about a man who follows the line of least resistance

As with Tai Chi, the line of least resistance isn't about purpose, effort, striving to achieve a goal, muscle strength, overpowering, struggle and working hard...it is about allowing, noticing the flow and going with it. We will find our greatest strength when we do that, our greatest peace. We need to be more like water.

Water seeks the low level which  men abhore...nothing in the world is weaker than water and yet it can overcome the hardest things 

Lao Tzu/ Alan Watts

Hmm! Something to think about.

All is well.

Alan Watts/ Alan Watts Oficial Org. (December, 2025) Beyond Good and Bad-Seeing Reality as It Is/Meditation and Flow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TQLFqHegVc

Letting Everything Have Its Nature

 

Everything has its nature...

Buddhist teaching

Rattle snakes have their nature and we pick up that vibrating energy when they pass in front of us. Both we and the rattle snake feel fear.  That is natural. The rattle snake isn't the problem. The fear we feel, even though it is uncomfortable, isn't the problem.  The vibrating energy in the rattle snake and the vibrating energy in us is not the problem...if...we let this energy do its own thing... pass through... without resisting.

Huh? 

If we use all the vibrating energy of of our conscious awareness to resist that vibrating energy of the snake as it passes through our five senses...we will have a problem.  If we use the vibrating energy of our awareness to focus so intently on the energy of the snake that the fear intensifies into resistance of what is, so that we supress it and repress it...store it away from conscious awareness...that energy of the snake becomes stored and locked inside us leaving a samskara. We will then have a samskara labelled, "I am afraid of snakes" to add to all the other bricks that make up a human psyche. If we do , as most humans do, do what we can for the rest of our life so that this stored vibrational energy we resisted in this stored samskaras never makes it up into conscious awareness again...man...do we ever have a problem. We will do whatever we can to escape the discomfort this psyche experiences when it comes to "snakes". We allowed resistance to put another brick on this psyche that we will spend the rest of our lives building up, maintaining, and keeping safe and comfortable.  We will then live by the belief that "I will only be okay if I never have to see, hear about, or experience this snake fear again!" 

Of course, Life in its natural rhythm will allow snakes to slither past us in one form or another  again and again.  We cannot ...no matter how hard we try...make Life the way we think it should be. Life just is.  The nature of things just is.  The energy in us...even fear...just is. The problem isn't this energy doing what it does; The problem is the resistance.  

We need to allow Life to be Life...we need to allow its energy to enter and merge with our energy and then let it all go...because everything is just One energy....coming and going, arising, dissolving, slipping in through our senses and slipping out. That energy is not something foreign and harmful to anything but our mind made personalities.  It can not harm who we really are.  We are that energy...not an enemy of it. 

Practice "this is bothering me"...and don't resist.

Michael A. Singer

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( January, 2026) Following the Spiritual Path of Non-Resistance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I44-ae4uLMA&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

You Have Enough

 

Samtusta, you have enough.

Thich Nhat Hanh

I have been thinking an awful lot about samtusta lately (once I remembered the name for this state of being completely satisfied with what is, that is :)). I truly see at some very deep level of understanding that it isn't where we are in life, what we are doing, who we are with, what we have or don't have...that makes us feel happy or not happy.  It is where we are "inside" that counts. We really do not have to make big changes in our lives, achieve this or that, get this or that, or put an end to all difficulty and challenge in order to feel satisfied. We simply need to be pure and clean in here.  It is not a "moral" cleansing that is required but a samskara cleansing. We need to remove those knots in the way of experiencing the peaceful flow of shakti through us. 

So, where ever you are at right now, whatever is happening around you, regardless of who you are with...regardless of how wonderful or how awful your mind is telling you it all is...instead of automatically running into "change"...stop, breathe , and look inward towards that which you are running from. Remind yourself you have enough. This satisfaction and awareness of enough is just buried under something that does not serve you. 

Everytime I feel the urge for "something different" or "more than this" lately, I stop, take a breath, and remind myself that I am wanting to run away from some samskara turbulence inside me.  I remind myself that runnng won't help if I end up just dragging this thing along with me. I tell myself to relax instead...and to feel and experience what is inside as unpleasant and counterintuitive to the mind it might be. Several layers of story related to that "feeling" may come up, including the story related to the trigger that seemed to have initiated the feeling. I tell myself that it is "just a story";  that is unnecessary to the healing process and what is important is the feeling trapped beneath it.  I go there to feel whatever is happening inside in my body first, than in my heart.  I gently encourage a movement upwards. As of late it seems to go only so far as my upper belly...but that is enough for now. Sigh!

Purification and healing in the truest sense  is quite a process.  It is going to take some time. When I get discouraged over the slow progress...I just remind myself of the beautiful state of being I am looking for: Samtusta...and then I keep going, knowing that I already have enough.

All is well. 

What level of Student Are You? Naive, Intermediate or Fully Perfected?

 To the naive student mountains are mountains, waters are waters; to the intermediate student mountains are no longer mountains, waters are no longer waterss, but  for the fully perfected student, mountains are once again mountains and waters are once again waters. 

Qingyaun Wixein's saying as quoted by Alan Watts

What type of a student are you? Are you still naive, seeing mountains as mountains, waters as waters? Or are you an intermediate student...who no longer sees that which is perceived with the five senses  as the whole reality? Or are you awake enough to see these things, play with these things, but at the same time know they are merely reflections of light? Are you able  see beyond the apparent reality of these things to that which cannot be seen by the physical eye? 

Hmm!

Watched the Matrix last evening...and it was cool to see the character Neo advance from a naive student, to an intermediate student, and finally to a fully perfected one. 

All is well!

Instead of a Fight, Life Is a Flow

 

Those who flow as life flows, know they need no other force.

Lao Tzu

All these axioms in the self help movement about the need to find our purpose needs to be looked at: "Find what you love to do and do it!"  "Keep going! Don't let anything stop you!"  "Fight until you acheive your dreams!" "Dream it and you will acheive it!" 

As you may be able to tell by now, I no longer fully adhere to those proposed suggestions for a "better life".  Though I believe it is important to do what opens us up to love simply for the sake of doing what we love...I am starting to see that this attachment to outcome and this need to struggle and fight the current to get to some "idea" up ahead  in a future that never comes...is not so wholesome. It keeps us out of our life experience here and now, and stuck in striving mind. You may have noticed by now, that mind is not the greatest place to be. It is not a heck of a lot of fun in there. lol

Living our lives fully and with so called "purpose" is not about the "doing" though we can still do.  It is not about the wanting, or the dreaming...though we can still want and dream. It is not about planning for tomorrow though we can still plan.  It is about being here and now .  It is about simply  noticing what is happening in us and outside of us at any given moment without the need for judgement, interpretation, narrative and  story building.  It is about flowing with what is instead of selecting from it and fighting against it.

Hmm! 

All is well 

Self-Improvement?

The Buddha said that wisdom must come only from the abandonment of selfish craving or desire....One who abandons that desire attains  nirvana...which is supreme peace, liberation. Nirvana means, in sanskrit, blow out...that is exhale the breath. The opposite... desire... is to breathe in. Now if you breathe in and hold it you lose your breath but if you breathe out, it comes back to you.  So the principle here is, if you want life don't cling to it. Let go. 

Alan Watts

It should be easy then for us to surrender our breath to Life by breathing out our selfish desire and craving. But it isn't easy. We may spend most of our lives trying to improve this human being by giving up the self for the Self but we just can't seem to do it. It isn't easy giving up that self no matter how much of a rascal it might be.   Why?

How can I surrender myself when my self is simply an urge to hold on...to cling...to cling to Life...to survive. I can see rationally that by clinging to myself I may strangle myself...like a person who has a bad habit as a result of which he is committing suicide but can't give it up because the means of death are so sweet.

So, we are habitually clinging, addicted to keeping this mental construct of "me", this  self concept of "my mind" alive. We cling at the same time we embark on these journeys of "self-improvement" which often include some psychological, physical, financial, social or spiritual goal and mission. It is like we, as self, are saying to self:

Kindly let me help you or you will drown [says the monkey putting the fish up a tree].

Self improvement...no matter how we do it is like a vicious circle. Alan Watts reminds us,

if you are really aware of your own inner workings you will realize there is nothing you can do to improve yourself...because you don't know what better is and you, who will do the improving, is the one that needs to be improved

Putting effort into improving is the opposite of improving

You can't be unself conscious on purpose....you can't be designedly spontaneous ...and you cannot be genuinely loving by intending to love...

An example from this human's life

when the degree becomes the point in the game of one-up-manship instead of learning for the sake of learning

I love learning.  I love learning for the sake of learning.  Most of my learning to date is informal, self-directed and not attached to a degree. (And there are decades of that type of formal as well as informal learning). I just love learning and I enjoyed the moments of felt experience I had during the process of randomly taking one course or another for no other purpose than to pursue my interest in the subject. If the years of university learning were directed by degree focus, I could have a PhD by now. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the process, there is a part of me that craves the "perks" of education that go beyond the love for learning.  The PhD still looks to me like a podium might look to an Olympic athlete...something to dream of, something to strive for. It would be, in my mind only, the ultimate symbol of my success over myself...the ultimate symbol of self-improvement. I often regret that I didn't direct my university learning into degree programs that would feed the craving and clinging needs of this self I am trying to improve: socially ( through recognition), financially (through better paying job opportunities: making money is a measure of your economic worthwhilenes),  and mentally and emotionally by creating in me an idea of "self improvement and success". There is, then, no real measure of my improvement here. At the same time, it is very challenging to look into this "craving" I have because it makes me feel like I failing in my truest mission to improve my spiritual self...the one that can transcend ego-grasping. I have obviously not improved there if I am still craving the ego perks of higher education. 

This idea of self-improvement, in whatever form it comes in, takes me around in circles. I don't seem to be doing much improvement. Then I hear Watts say:

The whole idea of self improvement is a hoax...there is nothing you can do to be better...

If we realized there is nothing we can do to improve ourselves or make the world a better place...this gives us a breather in the course of which we can simply watch what is going on...watch what happens

This helps me to look beyond my compartmentalization of this craving tendency ...the spiritual craving to transcend the ego mind is no better than or no worse than my craving to externally improve myself through a degree. 

The real world is not spiritual...it is not material...it is simply... [He claps here.... indicating...it simply is!]

Then he says,

Trying to improve yourself is like trying to lift yourself into the air by tugging on your own bootstraps.

No matter how much we strive to self improve by social and physical world standards, we will not succeed. Nor will striving to get beyond the mind so we can improve spiritually save us.  These intentions to improve are all constructs and ideas where we assume incorrectly that we have control. We don't.  What we simply need to do is breathe in and breathe out as we "notice" this Life blowing in and out of our awareness. 

Our job here is to notice and experience, not to improve.

All is well.

Alan Watts/Official Alan Watts Org ( September 16, 2025) Mind Over Mind: Self-Improvement, Grace, and the Paradox of Control. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHXisYGjvmM&t=2s