Riding the Waves

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

I am experiencing a sense of peace over the last few days - a sense of relief  and calm as the waves of life trough and settle back into calm waters. Sigh! It feels so nice.  I sleep better. I breathe better! I still the mind better!  

I know it will not last.  Waves crest just as often as they trough so I am sure something else will be coming my way soon enough. I did utter those words to the universe didn't I, in my quest for rapid purification, "Bring it on!"? And Man did it ever oblige by sending waves and some of them were doozies. 

But for now...this seas sick human I call "me" can just rest in the "what is" of this experiencing without being thrown around too much. She can breathe. Water is running through my taps again. The damage downstairs has been calculated- can live with it. My loved one is in detox - glory be. Looks like a piece of property has been sold to help us cover some of the debts here. I have become accustomed to the pain in my mouth and face so it no longer wakes me up or disturbs my life like it was doing.  It has, like the other bodily discomforts I experience, become background noise....for now.  I have decided to create a space of one month between my last dose of antibiotics and another. I will wait a month (2 more weeks) before I seek another. I am not sure I will go back there for the procedure yet but I will get it done somewhere. The environment here is a bit calmer too.  Chaos  has settled a bit but I still need to work on creating a healthier environment. I will.  I also notice how beautiful the world looks when things have calmed down, when the water is still. The world outside my windows looks greener, more vibrant, more bountiful, and more loving. Sigh!  I appreciate it so much. I love these times when the water stills a bit.

Still...I know I need the other. I need those crests in the waves just as much as I need the troughs.  I need the 10,000 sorrows just as much as I need the 10,000 joys. I am learning to surf.

I still say, though somewhat timidly lol, "Bring it on!" Purification is still my goal! 

I had this visualization the other day of my asking for a rapid cleansing. I seen the Universe coming in with a big bristlly brush to clean underneath my nails and in other tender areas. It is doing a thorough cleaning getting into the nooks and crannies. That brush is not comfortable! Let me tell ya....but when it stops to take a break..."Awe...sweet relief!" I enjoy that relief more. I do! I appreciate those moments of relief.  I am also learning to appreciate the painful cleansing...I am...maybe not as much as I appreciate when it stops for a while lol...but I appreciate it all. 

It is all good.  It is all so very good!

All is well.