Eckhart Tolle
Do you believe that? I do. I believe that suffering is not created by our situations...our so called challenges or adversity but by what the mind does with those things. Do we react or do we respond to the challenges life presents us with? Do we build story and drama around them...so that we are lost in that mental presentation of what is or do we simply allow what is to be in our moment?
First Arrow = Pain; Second Arrow= Suffering
I am reminded of the parable of the second arrow ( which I think others, including myself, have erroneously elaborated on to include a third arrow). In the teaching using this parable, a question is asked to the student. Something like, "If you were to get struck with an arrow, would it hurt?"
To which the student would reply, something to the effect, "Of course!"
Then they would be asked, "Would it hurt even more to be struck by the a second arrow in that same spot?"
And the student would likely respond, 'Yes, Of course!...It would probably hurt ten times more because the wound is still tender from the first arrow. And on top of that, the original wound would never heal. "
Finally the wise teacher would ask, in an attempt to get the student to reflect on the reality of suffering, "Then why do you keep piercing yourself with the second arrow?"
Wounding Over Wounding
We may have an experience of a painful life event...a violent attack, the loss of our wallet, an accident, a cutting remark made by another about us. We feel pain. We label the situation as ''painful" or in some cases even "traumatic" . We experience the first arrow. Now this arrow does not necessarily cause suffering. It causes pain and discomfort in the moment that we experience it. It is also seldom something we have any control over. It happened to us.
The real suffering comes when we pierce ourselves in that same tender spot with the second arrow...a mental arrow ...full of story, blame, guilt, anger, shame, fear that it will happen again, defense , attack, hanging on, self loathing etc etc etc . We intensify the pain in that tender spot and we keep reopening the wound so it never heals with our mental activity. Does that sound like a healthy thing to do?
We have control with this arrow. It is a self inflicted wounding over a wounding . It makes the pain ten times worse. This is suffering.
Looking At the Second Arrow
Now we do not have control over the first arrow but we definitely have control over the second. How?
- We first must wake up and see what we are doing when we get struck by primary arrows. Do we tend to respond to it by removing the arrow or do we react to it by piercing ourselves again and again in the same spot?
- Are we creating story and narration around the pain? Drama?
- Are we blaming and seeking to make the shooter pay, even if we are the shooter?
- Are we blaming ourselves for being in the line of fire?
- Are we staying stuck in our head, pondering the why's and how's of the pain instead of just allowing it to be and pass through us?
- Do we keep reopening the primary wound by our refusal to forgive and let go?
- Are we giving into Fear?
There is another Buddhist parable about being struck by a poison arrow. This story was based on Buddha's teaching that we need to end suffering before we understand all the metaphysical laws of Karma and suffering. It can also be used in reference to the second arrow.
The teacher may ask, "If you were struck by a poison arrow, what would be the best thing to do? Get help in getting it removed right away? Or refuse to accept help in removing it until you knew who shot the arrow, why they shot the arrow, how they shot the arrow, what kind of a bow they used, where they came from, who their parent's were. etc? And to continue refusing to have it removed until the "guilty party" and the crime was thoroughly identified, analyzed, judged, caught and punished in some way?"
Hopefully the student would say, "Get help in removing the arrow right away." That does make sense doesn't it? Yet most of us will decide instead to hold onto the poison and the pain. We are too busy, in our unconscious states, inflicting ourselves with second arrows. We seem to be more concerned with answering all those questions and making others ( and self) pay for our pain than we are about doing what is practical and sensible. We choose suffering.
Hmmm! Something to think about.
Eckhart Tolle (April, 2020) Awakening Through Adversity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUzC9CrTpoo
Swami Sukhabohananda (Nov, 2019) Buddha & The Second Arrow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJgmPyIqu_A
Hard Core Zen (May, 2019) The Poison Arrow Parable Revised http://hardcorezen.info/the-poison-arrow-parable-revised/6325
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