Pleasant, Unpleasant or Neutral?

 All of the tears I have cried, have become the rain.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Is what you are feeling right now pleasant, unpleasant or neutral?

Say what???

Many of us are kind of aware we don't feel good when we don't feel good and we will usually almost automatically go right up into our mind when we feel "bad" and pace about   its many hallways  as we question, "What is wrong?"  "What do I call this feeling, how do I  label it and categorize it?" "Who or what is responsible?"  And most importantly "How do I stop it or make it go away?"   We will go to the past and dig up old related  memory or we will skip ahead into the future to the "what if" and "when" scenarios. We create story and drama.

In this trance like state of being in our heads, we may  go to the fridge and open it up  as we stare inside pondering, "Okay what can I put inside me that will make me feel better?"  Or we will go to the liquor cabinet or light up.  Maybe we will go to social media on our devices just to ensure we feel even worse than we already do or to  the TV and turn on Netflix for a good long binge.

When we do this, we are anywhere but here in this moment experiencing this feeling.

Instead of Resisting, Pause, Simplify and Allow

What if we didn't have to do all that?  What if we didn't have to name the emotion or the causative factor right away?  What if we could simply determine if it was a pleasant thing we were experiencing, an unpleasant or a neutral?  Wouldn't that make our lives so much easier?

Instead of saying, "I am feeling happy and blissful and excited right now and it is because of this, or that and I am going to do everything I can to make this experience last"...creating narration around the experience...we could simply just say " In this moment, I recognize a pleasant feeling. I don't know how long it will last or where it came from and it doesn't matter.  I accept that right now I am experiencing a pleasant feeling."

Instead of saying, "I am feeling grief  over this, that and the other thing.  I am feeling angry because or frustrated because...and I am going to do everything I can to push this feeling away, to numb it, ignore it, distract from it" we could simply say, "I recognize an unpleasant feeling .  I don't know how long it will last and where it came from at this point and it doesn't matter.  I accept that right now I am experiencing an unpleasant feeling."

Instead of saying, " I am feeling like "nothing much is happening here....and maybe I need to make this moment into something better " ...we can say, "I recognize a neutral feeling. I don't know how long it will last and where it came from at this point and it doesn't matter. I accept that right now I am experiencing a neutral feeling. "

That may only be a first step to dealing with our feelings but it is an important first step.  Instead of jumping ahead into story and drama we pause to simply determine whether what we are feeling in this very moment is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral.

So what if it is pleasant?

If what we are experiencing right now is pleasant we can recognize it as such, allow it, embrace it, be grateful for it, look deeply into it to determine what about this situation is making it a pleasant one.  But what we do not want to do, is attempt to cling to it or the circumstances we feel are the cause of it and tell ourselves we need to do whatever we can so it doesn't go away.  All feelings, like all form, are subject to comings and goings.  Appreciate it now!  That's it.

What if it is a neutral feeling?

We can actually transform our neutral feelings into pleasant ones by pausing...and allowing ourselves to experience this neutrality without story or narration.  Just feel what you feel...Pause, recognize, allow , embrace and then look deeply , if you feel the need, at the cause of this neutrality without needing to make it anything but what it is right now.  In this moment...it simply is. Maybe with clarity you will be inspired to change some form of your outer experience in the next moment...but it all begins with accepting this moment as it is.

What is it is unpleasant feeling?

We can transform our unpleasant feelings into pleasant ones too.  First pause and recognize that you are experiencing an unpleasant feeling.  Resist the urge to go into your head and analyze it right away...leave that for a later step, if at all. Don't run from it.  Don't numb from it or try to distract from it. Simply accept the unpleasant feeling as a part of your moment without narration, without story, without needing , at this point, to know the  cause of it, without judgement and blame of self and others. Recognize how you are feeling with a simple, "This feels  unpleasant", and  allow it.  Then relax into it with breath, resting, possibly moving the body in a way that encourages the flow of this energy through it: walking, dancing, yoga or Tai Chi for example. Then, when you are calm, relaxed and accepting of the feeling with a degree of compassion, shine the light of mindfulness on it...embrace it calmly, compassionately and courageously  before  looking deeply on it with clarity  to determine the cause.

The most important thing is to stay with the moment as it is.

As we do this, like all feelings and all things of form, " This too shall pass."  The unpleasant feeling will eventually be transformed to a pleasant one of peace that comes with accepting Life as it is.

All is well.

Plum Village ( January, 2020) Recognizing Feelings/ dharma Talk with Sr. Tu Nghiem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTaXeLpjsg8