Understand that thoughts are thoughts. If they are unreasonable, reason with them, even if you have no reason left. You are the observer of your mind, not its victim.
Matt Haig (Writer)
The Little "I" in action
Yesterday I was given a wonderful little opportunity to witness my "little I' in action.
My little I of course is my egoic self...the one that is consumed by mental and emotional reactions; the one that feels separated from all and God as it looks for ways to prove this separation theory through illness, chaos, loss etc. The Little I is constantly needing to defend and attack its way to survival....to manipulate the world around it to establish some outer form of protection.
It judges and condemns. It puffs itself up and growls and huffs its way to power...convincing us that it is in charge and we follow the path it leads us down to our own destruction. We become victims to it. We are so identified with it...thinking it (and the body) is all we are...that we forget who we really are.
Yet...when the Little I catches a glimpse of itself in the mirror, it sees how tiny and pathetic it really is. Yesterday...I caught a glimpse of this part of me in the mirror and it certainly was not something to be proud of. I did not judge however...well...the I that is the True Observer...the One Self...That which Is in all....did not judge. It was the "little I" that judged itself...the ego judging ego...and I am not my ego.
That Which Is ...is beyond the need for judgment...It simply watches and observes. It is from that place that I want to operate. I want to be an observer of my mind, not a victim.
Learning through Life's situations
I was given that situation yesterday...or more likely... I created that situation for the whole 40-60 minutes that it lasted...for many reasons.
Menopause
The first one is menopause...yes. I wrote yesterday about ego claws digging in more tightly when one approaches the wisdom years. Just like an animal about to be pulled from its source of nourishment and protection...ego digs its claws in and clings even more tightly as I start pushing it away.
Menopause marks entry into the sacred years. These are the wisdom years I am stepping into...years of greater understanding and awareness, years of less need for the good opinion of others; years of remembering Who I really am and from Whom I came. I don't want ego anymore.
Ego knows that. So like a festering boil before it is lanced...it becomes painful and swollen...tempting me back to old painful ways of thinking ...to a world where I believe I am separated and alone...to a time when I was so dependent on the good opinion of others. It tried to manipulate me yesterday and for a short time it did.
But these are, gratefully, the wise years...and wisdom took over allowing me to observe from a place of greater awareness what was happening so I was able to get beyond it. Oh ego is still present within me...still digging its claws in...but I am now aware of its desperation and hopefully will respond better the next time a challenge presents itself.
I experienced what I did yesterday for another reason. It offered another lesson.
Getting Beyond Ego
It is my intention...in fact, it is my life mission... to get beyond ego. My ego is most sensitive to and becomes most inflamed with any sense of being left out, ignored, forgotten or excluded. (A left over from childhood). It is in those situations that I really notice it.
So if you want to learn to overcome something what do you need to do? Put oneself in the line of exposure!! Confronting the experiences offer the most learning. That is why, I believe, situations like this keep showing up in my life. They offer opportunities for better learning. They remind me that ego is still active and I need more practice! I still need to learn to stop reacting so.
Reminder of Purpose
I also encountered that situation yesterday as a reminder of purpose here. We are observers. Within us all this Observer watches without judgment ...truly living through us even when our minds take us out of present moment awareness and even though no one...not even ourselves...can see or understand It. We all have that...whether we are tapped into it or not...but some us have a more obvious observer in us...that others can see. Some of us have a human and physical function to observe.
Life Observer
I, ever since I can remember, was someone who stood back, watched and recorded what I seen, heard, felt, etc. That is what makes me a writer. I often find myself on the outside of human interaction and exchange...looking in...taking notes in my head and later putting them down on paper. I record Life as I see it happening around me. I also do the same with a camera. I think of myself, sometimes, as a photojournalist for God in His edition of Life:).
I never asked for this role as life observer ...it just happened naturally.
As a result...I often found myself excluded...on the outside looking in to the human experience...missing out on human interaction. I became a listener in my observer role...but not one to often share my own experience.
I became a giver of feedback and praise when I saw how wonderful people could be and what they were capable of...but not often on the receiving end of such.
I was one of those people, because of my quiet observing presence...who gave the impression possibly that I was neutral...not needing...there, merely, for others as a reflection or sounding board.
My needs were often not considered (well...that is how I perceived it). I was easy to forget...just like the photographer at a wedding observing and recording people's happy moments. It was just expected that I would be there through the long hours doing my job regardless of how tired or hungry I got. Forgotten until I was needed by another. (awe...another little trip down self pity lane lol).
Part of me resented that and yesterday reminded me of that resentment.
Once I got beyond the egoic perception...however...I realized there really is no reason to resent or feel insult. In fact...I am more than blessed. What an honor it is to have this God given role as human observer. I am not separate and alone from others...I am just busy watching and recording the beauty that is Life. In some ways...it makes me more conscious of the world and my connection to it. I become more aware of the real Observer within me that the mini one reflects.
Truth is: I want to be an Observer! I want to be The Observer
So I am okay with being mistakenly forgotten or having my own needs innocently neglected by others. (Even if it is more than just a mistaken perception on my part which it wasn't. My perception of the event was distorted.)
Truth is, I have a much more important job to perform while I am here, that goes way beyond the ego.
All is well in my world!
Friday, April 14, 2017
Thursday, April 13, 2017
The Ego claws of Menopause
The Ego claws of Menopause...
Ego & Menopause
Menopause must be the time for the ego to shine and get nasty....lol
I feel its claws clinging in to me now. I am actually looking for reasons to feel sorry for myself...and I am finding them...lol.
After all the work I do to get beyond this old ego of mine...anticipating that this life transition will enlighten me and make the ego slip away with the hormones that are taking the last train out of here...it pops up and says, "You can't get rid of me that fast! So sister...what do you think about the fact that no one remembers you...that you are forever being excluded from things as if you were insignificant piece of dust? Let's go back and recall all the times you were forgotten, neglected. excluded. Who was there when you really needed someone? Who really cares about you? People only want you to be there for them. When the chips are down...who is there for you? "
Oh it went on and on...listening to that chitter chatter in my head. And not just listening ...going back and digging for proof of this neglect and exclusion. ...seeking a reason to be justifiably hurt. Is that not crazy or what?
Ego at work
This is ego at work. I watch it...the observer in me watches it...sees what I am doing...sees a small innocent mistake that was not intentional at all ...watches as the ego grabs on to that mistake and dangles it before my exhausted mind like a carrot leading me off on a tangent. I watch the emotional reaction...the mental reaction and my inner being say, "What the %^&* are you doing woman? Why would you want to go there?" Still there I went.
So I observed it all and it is pretty cool to look at your self from this type of awareness. But I must say it was a challenge to slow the ego down...it wanted drama...guilt and pity from others stirred into the pot.
I just continued to observe...recognizing ego for what it was...recognizing that the hormone fluctuations and my exhaustion are playing a part in my reaction...accepting it and eventually...getting above ego to an acceptance of what is...with a certain degree of peace. It is just amazing to watch how fast ego can go off on a tangent creating a snowball effect.
Anyway...I controlled the drama...the emotional reaction...and the spiritual one to some extent. I now walk away a little wiser, a little more aware of just how much ego is still in me. At least that prepares for the months ahead of me during this miraculous transition. Ego claws are nasty but I can remove them.
All is well
Ego & Menopause
Menopause must be the time for the ego to shine and get nasty....lol
I feel its claws clinging in to me now. I am actually looking for reasons to feel sorry for myself...and I am finding them...lol.
After all the work I do to get beyond this old ego of mine...anticipating that this life transition will enlighten me and make the ego slip away with the hormones that are taking the last train out of here...it pops up and says, "You can't get rid of me that fast! So sister...what do you think about the fact that no one remembers you...that you are forever being excluded from things as if you were insignificant piece of dust? Let's go back and recall all the times you were forgotten, neglected. excluded. Who was there when you really needed someone? Who really cares about you? People only want you to be there for them. When the chips are down...who is there for you? "
Oh it went on and on...listening to that chitter chatter in my head. And not just listening ...going back and digging for proof of this neglect and exclusion. ...seeking a reason to be justifiably hurt. Is that not crazy or what?
Ego at work
This is ego at work. I watch it...the observer in me watches it...sees what I am doing...sees a small innocent mistake that was not intentional at all ...watches as the ego grabs on to that mistake and dangles it before my exhausted mind like a carrot leading me off on a tangent. I watch the emotional reaction...the mental reaction and my inner being say, "What the %^&* are you doing woman? Why would you want to go there?" Still there I went.
So I observed it all and it is pretty cool to look at your self from this type of awareness. But I must say it was a challenge to slow the ego down...it wanted drama...guilt and pity from others stirred into the pot.
I just continued to observe...recognizing ego for what it was...recognizing that the hormone fluctuations and my exhaustion are playing a part in my reaction...accepting it and eventually...getting above ego to an acceptance of what is...with a certain degree of peace. It is just amazing to watch how fast ego can go off on a tangent creating a snowball effect.
Anyway...I controlled the drama...the emotional reaction...and the spiritual one to some extent. I now walk away a little wiser, a little more aware of just how much ego is still in me. At least that prepares for the months ahead of me during this miraculous transition. Ego claws are nasty but I can remove them.
All is well
Men are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them.
Epictetus
I fall upon this quote from a slave who was born years after Christ and who became a great philosopher in Greece. I think that is serendipitous being that I am talking about getting beyond our thoughts and circumstances and accepting what is. What does this quote imply? It is not what is happening to us...it is how we perceive these things and how we react that counts.
Tolle, in The New Earth writes that there are three levels of encountering external events that tend to "bug us" or set us off. In the first and most obvious level we encounter the external thing...that could be a person's behaviour, what they are saying to us, external noise or chaos, a life situation that we do not want: a trauma, a loss. On the second level we react...we adopt a thought related to this, usually based on past experience and belief. We feel something like anger, shock, frustration, despair, shame etc. Then we behave a certain way based on this emotion. We resist, say something back, run away from the situation. Many times we react negatively. Then on the third level we watch from that place That Is the external events as well as our reaction. The observer observes the first two levels neutrally.
This is where we want to put our awareness...on observing. By stepping back and just noticing the event and noticing how we are choosing to react without judgment or blame will help us to remove the negative from the situation. We go beyond thought. The more we practice this observation , we will find that we naturally begin to react differently to those things that bother us. We accept what is as it is. We see that the idea of a "problem" does not come from the external event but from our emotional and mental attachment to it or our resistance of it.
All is well in my world.
Epictetus
I fall upon this quote from a slave who was born years after Christ and who became a great philosopher in Greece. I think that is serendipitous being that I am talking about getting beyond our thoughts and circumstances and accepting what is. What does this quote imply? It is not what is happening to us...it is how we perceive these things and how we react that counts.
Tolle, in The New Earth writes that there are three levels of encountering external events that tend to "bug us" or set us off. In the first and most obvious level we encounter the external thing...that could be a person's behaviour, what they are saying to us, external noise or chaos, a life situation that we do not want: a trauma, a loss. On the second level we react...we adopt a thought related to this, usually based on past experience and belief. We feel something like anger, shock, frustration, despair, shame etc. Then we behave a certain way based on this emotion. We resist, say something back, run away from the situation. Many times we react negatively. Then on the third level we watch from that place That Is the external events as well as our reaction. The observer observes the first two levels neutrally.
This is where we want to put our awareness...on observing. By stepping back and just noticing the event and noticing how we are choosing to react without judgment or blame will help us to remove the negative from the situation. We go beyond thought. The more we practice this observation , we will find that we naturally begin to react differently to those things that bother us. We accept what is as it is. We see that the idea of a "problem" does not come from the external event but from our emotional and mental attachment to it or our resistance of it.
All is well in my world.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Spring Brings New Hope
I see the robins outside my window searching for food in the big patches of bare lawn that are now visible. The snow is melting so quickly; the robins are plentiful; the air is warm and filled with the perfume of thawing earth and it can only mean one thing. Spring has sprung. How wonderful is that? :) I love spring. My father used to recite these words every year, the same words his mother recited to him..."Spring brings new hope." No matter how challenging things seem to be ...how rough of a winter one endured...spring reminds us that there is still hope and new beginnings.
Emily Dickinson
From Poem Hunter.com: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-light-exists-in-spring/
I love this poem about the light seen in the beginning of spring. I love this poet. I think she and I were kindred spirits :) I often write about the light...especially the change in light that spring brings about. It is so subtle yet so brilliant...so difficult to explain, yet so difficult not to feel....almost spiritual and sacred. This is the hope my father and grandmother spoke of. I could never describe as brilliantly and as eloquently as Dickinson does, however.
All is well.
A Light Exists in Spring
A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here
A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That science cannot overtake,
But human naturefeels.
It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.
Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:
A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here
A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That science cannot overtake,
But human naturefeels.
It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.
Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:
A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.
From Poem Hunter.com: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-light-exists-in-spring/
I love this poem about the light seen in the beginning of spring. I love this poet. I think she and I were kindred spirits :) I often write about the light...especially the change in light that spring brings about. It is so subtle yet so brilliant...so difficult to explain, yet so difficult not to feel....almost spiritual and sacred. This is the hope my father and grandmother spoke of. I could never describe as brilliantly and as eloquently as Dickinson does, however.
All is well.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
You have power over your mind not outside events. Remember this and you will find strength.
Marcus Aurelius
Struggling physically. Trying to make up for it emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I try to see myself as the witness to it rather than the victim of it. I stop resisting and just observe what is happening...experiencing it but not getting consumed by it. I don't resist. I allow myself to feel what I am feeling and accept it without dramatizing or blowing it out of proportion. I focus on what I can do. When the symptoms get to a certain point...I remind myself that this too shall pass...and it does. It does! Hmmm...I think it is working but I really don't know. I go into work today where I don't have the safety of the couch to fall back on. We will see how it turns out then. I am confident I have the strength within me that I need. It is all good...all so very good. :)
Marcus Aurelius
Struggling physically. Trying to make up for it emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I try to see myself as the witness to it rather than the victim of it. I stop resisting and just observe what is happening...experiencing it but not getting consumed by it. I don't resist. I allow myself to feel what I am feeling and accept it without dramatizing or blowing it out of proportion. I focus on what I can do. When the symptoms get to a certain point...I remind myself that this too shall pass...and it does. It does! Hmmm...I think it is working but I really don't know. I go into work today where I don't have the safety of the couch to fall back on. We will see how it turns out then. I am confident I have the strength within me that I need. It is all good...all so very good. :)
Monday, April 10, 2017
Beyond Thought to That which Is...
His ear heard more than what was said to him, and his slow speech had overtone not of thought, but of understanding beyond thought.
John Steinbeck
This is a famous character description of Slim in Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. In these simple words, Steinbeck describes the characteristics of an enlightened man, someone with a wisdom that goes beyond thought. Slim is slow moving, mindful, gentle, and soft spoken without ego or a need to prove himself. The use of "not of thought" and "beyond thought" indicate a connection to That which Is beyond the physical world as we know it. This is the type of person we are all destined to be...once we stop identifying ourselves and life with what is going on in our heads. Life is beyond thought. Once we can get beyond the veil of thought we will experience it more fully.
Reality is beyond speech and thought. Only that which can be expressed in words is being said. But what cannot be put into language is indeed That which Is.
AnandamayiMa
AnandamayiMa was an early 20th century Bengali sage and spiritual leader who led by example. Like Slim, she spoke little but when she did her words and the wisdom she offered her thousands of devotees were beyond thought. Her mission, according to those who wrote about her, was simply to make everyone aware of the One that resides in all things. That which Is..no matter how we perceive It or worship It... resides in all things and can not be described or understood with mere thoughts or words.
And according to Tolle's words below...once we learn that our identification with thought and the body is not what we are and accept that force that flows through us and all things as the Essence of all Life...we are on the path to freedom. We begin to truly experience the beauty, love, creativity, joy and inner peace that are expressions of That which Is.
The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the "thinker". The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter-beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace-arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.
Eckhart Tolle
All is well.
Resources
John Steinbeck
This is a famous character description of Slim in Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. In these simple words, Steinbeck describes the characteristics of an enlightened man, someone with a wisdom that goes beyond thought. Slim is slow moving, mindful, gentle, and soft spoken without ego or a need to prove himself. The use of "not of thought" and "beyond thought" indicate a connection to That which Is beyond the physical world as we know it. This is the type of person we are all destined to be...once we stop identifying ourselves and life with what is going on in our heads. Life is beyond thought. Once we can get beyond the veil of thought we will experience it more fully.
Reality is beyond speech and thought. Only that which can be expressed in words is being said. But what cannot be put into language is indeed That which Is.
AnandamayiMa
AnandamayiMa was an early 20th century Bengali sage and spiritual leader who led by example. Like Slim, she spoke little but when she did her words and the wisdom she offered her thousands of devotees were beyond thought. Her mission, according to those who wrote about her, was simply to make everyone aware of the One that resides in all things. That which Is..no matter how we perceive It or worship It... resides in all things and can not be described or understood with mere thoughts or words.
And according to Tolle's words below...once we learn that our identification with thought and the body is not what we are and accept that force that flows through us and all things as the Essence of all Life...we are on the path to freedom. We begin to truly experience the beauty, love, creativity, joy and inner peace that are expressions of That which Is.
The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the "thinker". The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter-beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace-arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.
Eckhart Tolle
All is well.
Resources
- Bhaiji (1975). Sad Vani: A Collection of the Teaching of Sri Anandamayi Ma. translated by Swami Atmananda. Shree Shree Anandamayee Charitable Society.
- Fitzgerald, Joseph; Alexander Lipski (2007). The Essential Sri Anandamayi Ma: Life and Teaching of a 20th Century Indian Saint. World Wisdom. ISBN 978-1-933316-41-3.
- Steinbeck, J. (1993) Of Mice and Men. Penguin
- (first published in 1937)
- Tolle, Eckhart. (2004) The Power of Now. New World Library
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment. That is why we can also call it presence.
Eckhart Tolle
An absolutely beautiful day out there today. The sky is blue; the breeze is warm; and snow is melting. It is all good.
Only moments ago I had a head full of problems...looking at the house around me and wondering how I am going to get the energy to clean it, feeling the sting of guilt for letting it get so bad and telling D. he cannot clean without me because he worked six days in a row and today is his only day off...shooing him away from chores until I feel ready...and God knows when that will be!
I knew I had to come here to clear my head and that is what I did.
This is the Moment; Right here; Right Now.
At this moment right here and now...there are no problems...just the sound of my fingers tapping across the keys over a background of beautiful relaxing music. There is the feel of the hot cup of tea in my hands and the awareness of spring light coming through my window.
Is there thought? Well yes... but it is coming so quickly and leaving so quickly...it is just like a wisp of wind passing by. :) I am not attached to any thoughts. In this moment my body is relaxed in my chair. My dog is relaxed beside me and there are no problems...
Right now...in this moment ...here.... not the one I had a moment ago when I was lost in remembering and thinking about problems :)...this moment...there is no problem....I sink into the piano chords I hear beneath the sound of my tapping fingers...feel them holding me, comforting me, soothing me...and though I am not completely still...though I am not completely beyond thought...I am attached to nothing...floating freely and comfortably on this flow of life.
This is Mindfulness
It is life I am feeling and I am grateful. This is mindfulness. This is what it means to be conscious and aware. Of course, I am narrating...and if I were to stop that I would experience even more awareness, more life in this moment. Of course, I am writing and moving my fingers....and if I were to stop the movement and sit in stillness for a bit I would experience even more awareness and more life in this moment. Of course my eyes are open...and if I were to close them I would experience even more awareness and more life in this moment on an even deeper level of consciousness.
This is Life
This is what life is. I need to keep reminding myself of that.
It is this moment where I will find it...not in the moment that just past or the moments yet to come...but in this moment.
Life goes beyond the thinking to feeling and the experiencing....thinking just gets in the way. It is in the thinking only...where the problems can be found.
In this moment there is no problem...there is just life happening all around me and through me. There is my breath...and the feel of my heart beating in my chest(my condition constantly makes me aware of my heart beating which can be something to be grateful for:)) . There is my moving fingers and my mind at work allowing for all this to happen. There is sound vibrating through my ear canal...through the tympanic membrane, along the three ossicles, to the oval window and through the fluid as the membrane softly vibrates bringing the vibration ever so gracefully to the organs of corti and to the cranial nerve that will take it to the part of the brain that interprets what I hear as beautiful music.
I am grateful for that.
I look outside and see a lovely blue sky because of the way the light hits my cornea, is bent and travels through the pupil to the retina where it will stimulate rods and cones to send a nerve impulse to the optic nerve which will carry it through a chiasm to the visual cortex at the back of the brain...allowing me to see what I see.
I am grateful for that.
I feel the warmth of the housecoat around my shoulders, the keys beneath my finger tips and the smooth glass of my cup in much the same way.
I am so grateful for that.
I am using my mind to allow free...unattached thoughts to flow from me onto the page.
I am so grateful for that.
This is awareness
This is awareness and it is not my mind, my body, my eyes or my ears that pick all this up...but that which allows me to hear, see, feel and think. Life is this awareness! In this moment I am aware of just how alive I am.
If we want to be well. If we want to be free of problems...we just have to spend our moments being aware of who and what we are.
All is well in my world.
Eckhart Tolle
An absolutely beautiful day out there today. The sky is blue; the breeze is warm; and snow is melting. It is all good.
Only moments ago I had a head full of problems...looking at the house around me and wondering how I am going to get the energy to clean it, feeling the sting of guilt for letting it get so bad and telling D. he cannot clean without me because he worked six days in a row and today is his only day off...shooing him away from chores until I feel ready...and God knows when that will be!
I knew I had to come here to clear my head and that is what I did.
This is the Moment; Right here; Right Now.
At this moment right here and now...there are no problems...just the sound of my fingers tapping across the keys over a background of beautiful relaxing music. There is the feel of the hot cup of tea in my hands and the awareness of spring light coming through my window.
Is there thought? Well yes... but it is coming so quickly and leaving so quickly...it is just like a wisp of wind passing by. :) I am not attached to any thoughts. In this moment my body is relaxed in my chair. My dog is relaxed beside me and there are no problems...
Right now...in this moment ...here.... not the one I had a moment ago when I was lost in remembering and thinking about problems :)...this moment...there is no problem....I sink into the piano chords I hear beneath the sound of my tapping fingers...feel them holding me, comforting me, soothing me...and though I am not completely still...though I am not completely beyond thought...I am attached to nothing...floating freely and comfortably on this flow of life.
This is Mindfulness
It is life I am feeling and I am grateful. This is mindfulness. This is what it means to be conscious and aware. Of course, I am narrating...and if I were to stop that I would experience even more awareness, more life in this moment. Of course, I am writing and moving my fingers....and if I were to stop the movement and sit in stillness for a bit I would experience even more awareness and more life in this moment. Of course my eyes are open...and if I were to close them I would experience even more awareness and more life in this moment on an even deeper level of consciousness.
This is Life
This is what life is. I need to keep reminding myself of that.
It is this moment where I will find it...not in the moment that just past or the moments yet to come...but in this moment.
Life goes beyond the thinking to feeling and the experiencing....thinking just gets in the way. It is in the thinking only...where the problems can be found.
In this moment there is no problem...there is just life happening all around me and through me. There is my breath...and the feel of my heart beating in my chest(my condition constantly makes me aware of my heart beating which can be something to be grateful for:)) . There is my moving fingers and my mind at work allowing for all this to happen. There is sound vibrating through my ear canal...through the tympanic membrane, along the three ossicles, to the oval window and through the fluid as the membrane softly vibrates bringing the vibration ever so gracefully to the organs of corti and to the cranial nerve that will take it to the part of the brain that interprets what I hear as beautiful music.
I am grateful for that.
I look outside and see a lovely blue sky because of the way the light hits my cornea, is bent and travels through the pupil to the retina where it will stimulate rods and cones to send a nerve impulse to the optic nerve which will carry it through a chiasm to the visual cortex at the back of the brain...allowing me to see what I see.
I am grateful for that.
I feel the warmth of the housecoat around my shoulders, the keys beneath my finger tips and the smooth glass of my cup in much the same way.
I am so grateful for that.
I am using my mind to allow free...unattached thoughts to flow from me onto the page.
I am so grateful for that.
This is awareness
This is awareness and it is not my mind, my body, my eyes or my ears that pick all this up...but that which allows me to hear, see, feel and think. Life is this awareness! In this moment I am aware of just how alive I am.
If we want to be well. If we want to be free of problems...we just have to spend our moments being aware of who and what we are.
All is well in my world.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Health is the beginning of the proper perspective of life under the guidance of the one Teacher Who knows what life is, being the Voice for Life Itself.
ACIM (Chapter 8: IX: 9: 9-10)
Let's talk a little bit about limitation and disability from the views of A Couse in Miracles. Disability, according to Travis (1988) sits at the far end of the health-illness continuum before premature death. It is what happens when we expand the term illness to a lack of ability to function because of it. Disability is a label one must be proven worthy to wear if help and support from society and its social systems is required during states of perceived illness. Our world promotes and sanctions the use of this term.
As I have said a hundred times before, I hate those words: illness, sickness, limitation and disability, and fear that the more we use them, the more limited and disabled we will become to our minds; the further away from who we really are we will believe we are.
When we get lost in this notion of limitation due to illness we are giving the ego exactly what it wants. It wants us to over identify with the body. It wants us to separate the mind from the body to weaken it as well. It wants us to feel vulnerable. It wants us to feel weak. It wants us to depend on external guidance. It wants us to depend on it rather than the Source of Life that flows through us. It wants to be the boss instead of God! When we give in to this notion of illness and disability, we unknowingly make ego the boss. So by accepting an other approved and sanctioned disability label are we choosing ego over God?
The body is simply a vessel in which we travel on this earth. Its purpose is to help us carry on this purpose we were born for...to wake up and wake others up to the truth. What truth? The truth of who we really are beneath these bodies, our personalities ( egos) and all the trappings of the physical world, the truth of from Whom we came. This truth is what flows through us and out of us. It is our life force. Ego...that fear-based entity we identify with as our "outer self" ...is afraid of the truth. Ego does not want this truth out there because it knows if the truth is known...it will no longer be needed...it wants to be in charge. It wants us focusing outwardly instead of inwardly. It's domain is outward...Spirit's domain...the only true domain... is inward. We wake up when we direct ourselves inward. Ego wants to stop us from waking up. It uses the body unlovingly through illness to do so, keeping our focus outward. As long as we are ill...we are limited...and as long as we are believing we are limited...we are not expressing the truth of our unlimited potential. ...we have yet to wake up. The Course says, "All forms of sickness, even onto death, are physical expressions of the fear of awakening." (Chapter 8: IX: 3: 2)
So how do we heal if we perceive illness, and Heaven forbid...disability in our lives? We wake up to the truth. It is never the body that needs fixing. It is the mind. We just need to get past this fear of waking up and be willing to do so. We just have to make the decision to love instead of fear...to accept God's will over ego's. How do we do that? By knowing what the function of the body really is and that it is the source of its own health. Mind and body need to work together. "You are not limited by the body, and thought cannot be made flesh. Yet mind can be manifested through the body if it goes beyond it and does not interpret it as a limitation." (ACIM 8: VII: 14: 1-2.)
We simply need to change the way we think of the mind, the body and the spirit to regain or maintain "health". We need to stop thinking we are limited. It is all about changing our thoughts and beliefs. (Are you sick of me saying that yet? :)) The mind is a powerful, powerful tool that we can use to ensure healthy, happy lives or to ensure the opposite. Use it correctly and it can help us be well. If we want high levels of wellness, we need to use the mind to realize who we really are. The body is not who we are. It is just a transport vehicle and the spirit, soul, energy force, life flow...whatever you want to describe it as...is who we are! We are not human beings who have the odd spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having the odd human one. :) Spirit can be found when we turn within...away from external trappings, body and thought focus.The body is only a part of that human experience..an outward expression of it. The personality or ego that we explain ourselves with as a human being is also only an external part of that experience as well...but we have given it so much power and confuse ourselves with it. It now has its own agenda which differs from that that comes from spirit. Spirit tells us the answers are inside us...ego tells us the only hope for survival is outside us. We just have to be aware of that. When we get sick (perceive the body or mind breaking down) , it is ego interfering with God's plan for unlimited wellness for us. Oh the body will break down when ego is in charge...and ego is in charge in most of us. Few of us have that faith that moves mountains and cures leprosy with a simple touch ...yet! Doesn't mean it isn't possible ...it just means many of us have not realized our full potential yet. Think it is possible and maybe someday it will be for you.
I obviously have not realized it yet. I perceive disability in my life right now....even though I resist that thought. Truth is, I have been getting increasingly fatigued and I am doing less and less physically as a result. My house is in desperate, desperate need of a thorough cleaning and just the thought of undertaking that massive job is exhausting. I think...okay...one small task at a time...I picked up the broom yesterday to clean under the couch...symptoms! Had to stop. Tried to get the darn dog tie-out out of the snow...symptoms. Had to stop! Go for a walk...exhausted when I get back. I feel so lazy for not doing what needs to be done. I feel so selfish and "wimpy" for allowing this...whatever it is... to stop me from doing what "should" be done. Yet the less I do, the more there is to do. The state of my house is really not acceptable. It is embarrassing and brings shame. I want to be "able" to clean it.
I am working on changing my beliefs and dismantling the power ego has over my life by choosing a better way. My mind seems strong. My faith is growing...but...I still feel sick. What do I need to do to get better? Pretend that I do not feel illness? No. Stop relying on all external remedies and support systems at this point? No...I am not ready to do that yet either. Spend 12 hours a day meditating? No...I am still living in this physical realm. So what do I do? This is what I propose for healing in this step by step process of resuming the wellness I am destined for...that we are all destined for.
ACIM (Chapter 8: IX: 9: 9-10)
Let's talk a little bit about limitation and disability from the views of A Couse in Miracles. Disability, according to Travis (1988) sits at the far end of the health-illness continuum before premature death. It is what happens when we expand the term illness to a lack of ability to function because of it. Disability is a label one must be proven worthy to wear if help and support from society and its social systems is required during states of perceived illness. Our world promotes and sanctions the use of this term.
As I have said a hundred times before, I hate those words: illness, sickness, limitation and disability, and fear that the more we use them, the more limited and disabled we will become to our minds; the further away from who we really are we will believe we are.
How Does the Course View Disability?
When we get lost in this notion of limitation due to illness we are giving the ego exactly what it wants. It wants us to over identify with the body. It wants us to separate the mind from the body to weaken it as well. It wants us to feel vulnerable. It wants us to feel weak. It wants us to depend on external guidance. It wants us to depend on it rather than the Source of Life that flows through us. It wants to be the boss instead of God! When we give in to this notion of illness and disability, we unknowingly make ego the boss. So by accepting an other approved and sanctioned disability label are we choosing ego over God?
The body is simply a vessel in which we travel on this earth. Its purpose is to help us carry on this purpose we were born for...to wake up and wake others up to the truth. What truth? The truth of who we really are beneath these bodies, our personalities ( egos) and all the trappings of the physical world, the truth of from Whom we came. This truth is what flows through us and out of us. It is our life force. Ego...that fear-based entity we identify with as our "outer self" ...is afraid of the truth. Ego does not want this truth out there because it knows if the truth is known...it will no longer be needed...it wants to be in charge. It wants us focusing outwardly instead of inwardly. It's domain is outward...Spirit's domain...the only true domain... is inward. We wake up when we direct ourselves inward. Ego wants to stop us from waking up. It uses the body unlovingly through illness to do so, keeping our focus outward. As long as we are ill...we are limited...and as long as we are believing we are limited...we are not expressing the truth of our unlimited potential. ...we have yet to wake up. The Course says, "All forms of sickness, even onto death, are physical expressions of the fear of awakening." (Chapter 8: IX: 3: 2)
Healing and Waking up
So how do we heal if we perceive illness, and Heaven forbid...disability in our lives? We wake up to the truth. It is never the body that needs fixing. It is the mind. We just need to get past this fear of waking up and be willing to do so. We just have to make the decision to love instead of fear...to accept God's will over ego's. How do we do that? By knowing what the function of the body really is and that it is the source of its own health. Mind and body need to work together. "You are not limited by the body, and thought cannot be made flesh. Yet mind can be manifested through the body if it goes beyond it and does not interpret it as a limitation." (ACIM 8: VII: 14: 1-2.)
We simply need to change the way we think of the mind, the body and the spirit to regain or maintain "health". We need to stop thinking we are limited. It is all about changing our thoughts and beliefs. (Are you sick of me saying that yet? :)) The mind is a powerful, powerful tool that we can use to ensure healthy, happy lives or to ensure the opposite. Use it correctly and it can help us be well. If we want high levels of wellness, we need to use the mind to realize who we really are. The body is not who we are. It is just a transport vehicle and the spirit, soul, energy force, life flow...whatever you want to describe it as...is who we are! We are not human beings who have the odd spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having the odd human one. :) Spirit can be found when we turn within...away from external trappings, body and thought focus.The body is only a part of that human experience..an outward expression of it. The personality or ego that we explain ourselves with as a human being is also only an external part of that experience as well...but we have given it so much power and confuse ourselves with it. It now has its own agenda which differs from that that comes from spirit. Spirit tells us the answers are inside us...ego tells us the only hope for survival is outside us. We just have to be aware of that. When we get sick (perceive the body or mind breaking down) , it is ego interfering with God's plan for unlimited wellness for us. Oh the body will break down when ego is in charge...and ego is in charge in most of us. Few of us have that faith that moves mountains and cures leprosy with a simple touch ...yet! Doesn't mean it isn't possible ...it just means many of us have not realized our full potential yet. Think it is possible and maybe someday it will be for you.
I obviously have not realized it yet. I perceive disability in my life right now....even though I resist that thought. Truth is, I have been getting increasingly fatigued and I am doing less and less physically as a result. My house is in desperate, desperate need of a thorough cleaning and just the thought of undertaking that massive job is exhausting. I think...okay...one small task at a time...I picked up the broom yesterday to clean under the couch...symptoms! Had to stop. Tried to get the darn dog tie-out out of the snow...symptoms. Had to stop! Go for a walk...exhausted when I get back. I feel so lazy for not doing what needs to be done. I feel so selfish and "wimpy" for allowing this...whatever it is... to stop me from doing what "should" be done. Yet the less I do, the more there is to do. The state of my house is really not acceptable. It is embarrassing and brings shame. I want to be "able" to clean it.
I am working on changing my beliefs and dismantling the power ego has over my life by choosing a better way. My mind seems strong. My faith is growing...but...I still feel sick. What do I need to do to get better? Pretend that I do not feel illness? No. Stop relying on all external remedies and support systems at this point? No...I am not ready to do that yet either. Spend 12 hours a day meditating? No...I am still living in this physical realm. So what do I do? This is what I propose for healing in this step by step process of resuming the wellness I am destined for...that we are all destined for.
10 Steps to Healing from Disability
- Accept where you are right now. See how your perceived illness and disability manifests in your present reality in the physical world. Accept those limitations and challenges. Resistance will only hold us back. I accept where I am right now in my perceptions and beliefs about illness and disability. I accept the signs and symptoms I see as a part of my learning and I go from there.
- Take Accountability for where you are. This is a tough one for many people. "What do you mean...I am to blame for this cancer or heart disease or depression that I have?" Being accountable has nothing to do with judging or blaming. It just means accepting that our thinking and choice of belief is manifesting through our bodies when we get sick. We are not to blame for it...it happened at some level way below our conscious awareness. Accepting accountability also means accepting that we have the power to make changes. If we accept ego's version of reality...that we are vulnerable victims to random outside forces...we have no power. We are forced to live in fear. God did not make us powerless. He made us powerful. Be accountable for your power by being accountable for where you are this present moment. Blaming outside forces, God, Life for being where you are will strip you of your power as well.
- Forgive yourself for being where you are. That is a big one for me. I feel so much shame and guilt for allowing myself to get to this point of perceived disability. Part of me still thinks I should be able to just snap out of it with a click of the fingers. I am more than aware of my accountability. My sense of responsibility borders on neurosis. I need to see this as a very necessary part of my journey...something there for all the right reasons...something I chose on some level...yes...but something I chose for the highest good.
- Remind self daily that: This too shall pass. I do not care what type of illness you are dealing with. The experience you have right now with it...will pass. If we think of our experiences as fixed and unchangeable ...we will not move forward. We are all meant to move forward toward our highest wellness.
- Remind self frequently throughout the day what the body really is. It is simply a tool you...the real you...uses to establish your purpose here. It is here to serve you, you are not here to serve it. You are simply using this amazing body as an instrument to help you be what you are here to be. Don't fret when it runs out of gas every now and again. Don't be afraid to take it to a mechanic etc. etc. Its wear and tear does not mean that you, the driver, are wearing and tearing. :) But know...that the more you perfect your driving...the less wear and tear your vehicle will endure.
- Honor your body for all it can do. Praise and show gratitude for what you can do, no matter how limited you perceive yourself to be. If you can lift a finger and blink an eye in response to someone...you have ability. If you can breathe...you have ability. These bodies are amazing and "able" things and are worthy of our praise and gratitude. Just as you would thank your car for getting you even a small distance toward your destination...thank your body for every step it takes you toward your purpose. Look after it and take care of it especially when it starts to chug along the road....just don't be consumed by every little rattle.
- Harness the power of the mind in your healing. Know how powerful thought and belief are and how they determine the quality of your life. Healing...true healing which goes beyond our understanding... is your purpose and you have what you need to do it.
- Change your thoughts. If you are ill ...know that thoughts and belief systems within you need examining and readjusting. Stop thinking "illness, disability, limitation" and start thinking wellness and unlimited potential.
- Reaffirm who you really are and from where you came. You are of God. How can you be anything but well? If you want to hear this and know this fully...seek silence and stillness, get beyond thinking, to feeling. Meditate. Pray. Be mindful
- Choose to Wake up! Say no to ego and say yes to God. If there is illness, fear, suffering...know that ego is in charge of your life. Simply say no...and ask God to take over. Truth is...God is always in charge. Ego has just convinced you that it was. You will know it is God by the awareness of Love that pours through you where illness and disability once blocked you. Waking up is a slow process for most of us. It may not happen instantaneously...but being willing to wake up is the first and most crucial step.
All is well in my world!
References:
A Course in Miracles
Travis, J. (1988) The Wellness Inventory. Wellness Association
References:
A Course in Miracles
Travis, J. (1988) The Wellness Inventory. Wellness Association
Friday, April 7, 2017
If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion.
Eckhart Tolle
Suffering is not what is going on around us or to us. It is not the diagnosis or lack of. It is not the finances, the job, the challenges we endure...suffering is simply resistance to life as it is.
I am grateful for the suffering and I am grateful for what was and is that I resisted in my life. My resistance taught me what suffering is. And my letting go taught me what peace is...accepting the moment as it is. Through this comes the depth, the humility and the compassion. Through this comes Life. It is all good.
All is well in my world.
Eckhart Tolle
Suffering is not what is going on around us or to us. It is not the diagnosis or lack of. It is not the finances, the job, the challenges we endure...suffering is simply resistance to life as it is.
I am grateful for the suffering and I am grateful for what was and is that I resisted in my life. My resistance taught me what suffering is. And my letting go taught me what peace is...accepting the moment as it is. Through this comes the depth, the humility and the compassion. Through this comes Life. It is all good.
All is well in my world.
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Health is a state of body. Wellness is a state of being.
J. Standford
I was hard on Travis' model. There are so many great things about it that I didn't go into. He was trying to bring the focus back to wellness rather than disease by using WHO's definition. I believe his intention for this paradigm was more than honorable and that it just got interpreted in different ways other than intended. My understanding then may different from someone else's.
One thing I particularly like about this model are the arrows. There are arrows pointing in either direction, indicating a possibility of a change in direction. We may see ourselves spiralling down the continuum into acute illness, for example, but there is always the opportunity to turn and face the other way . And no matter where you might be in the area heading toward the red from neutral...the continuum indicates that one can turn around and face high level wellness any time. We can always strive for wellness.
I liken this to the rowing a boat in the flow of life analogy I wrote about previously. I believe our natural inclination is to be well. The flow of life takes us to wellness...naturally, easily and gracefully. We go towards the red when we decide to paddle against the current and do what is unnatural for the mind and body. (Travis does allude to this. ) We need to be aware and educated on what is natural and what isn't; what blocks or interrupts the flow of life energy and what allows it. ( According to this model...what is healthy behaviour and what isn't. ) In my analogy that is determined by our thoughts and beliefs...our willingness to put down the paddle, trust in life and allow it to turn us around so we can head toward wellness where we belong.
My argument was more about making the distinction between mind/body health and wellness. Wellness is our being and being is awareness. This awareness can occur anywhere along the spectrum of colours...and that the awareness is actually going on all the time beyond our thinking. The awareness is not necessarily "mental". It is also not something physicians are responsible for. They can encourage and support education in the physical and mental health matters but more focus needs to be placed on spiritual matters. We are not just body's with brains that think. We are much, much more than that. We are that whereby the eye can see...the ear can hear... the mind can think. It is in that where wellness is. The education that really needs to take place does not come from lectures and health promotion/disease prevention educational sessions offered by doctors and nurses. It comes from understanding who we really are and expanding and growing into that possibility.
This that we really are...only knows wellness. It can not advance down the scale into the greens, yellow, oranges and reds. Our minds and bodies can go there...but we can't. My body may be there still but my mind is finding its way back...one change in thought at a time leading to a willingness to put the paddle down...and trust life, rather than other egos, to get me where I need to be.
Does that make sense at all to anyone? I hope so because I have a feeling this is really, really important stuff for some reason. lol
All is well in my world!
J. Standford
I was hard on Travis' model. There are so many great things about it that I didn't go into. He was trying to bring the focus back to wellness rather than disease by using WHO's definition. I believe his intention for this paradigm was more than honorable and that it just got interpreted in different ways other than intended. My understanding then may different from someone else's.
One thing I particularly like about this model are the arrows. There are arrows pointing in either direction, indicating a possibility of a change in direction. We may see ourselves spiralling down the continuum into acute illness, for example, but there is always the opportunity to turn and face the other way . And no matter where you might be in the area heading toward the red from neutral...the continuum indicates that one can turn around and face high level wellness any time. We can always strive for wellness.
My argument was more about making the distinction between mind/body health and wellness. Wellness is our being and being is awareness. This awareness can occur anywhere along the spectrum of colours...and that the awareness is actually going on all the time beyond our thinking. The awareness is not necessarily "mental". It is also not something physicians are responsible for. They can encourage and support education in the physical and mental health matters but more focus needs to be placed on spiritual matters. We are not just body's with brains that think. We are much, much more than that. We are that whereby the eye can see...the ear can hear... the mind can think. It is in that where wellness is. The education that really needs to take place does not come from lectures and health promotion/disease prevention educational sessions offered by doctors and nurses. It comes from understanding who we really are and expanding and growing into that possibility.
This that we really are...only knows wellness. It can not advance down the scale into the greens, yellow, oranges and reds. Our minds and bodies can go there...but we can't. My body may be there still but my mind is finding its way back...one change in thought at a time leading to a willingness to put the paddle down...and trust life, rather than other egos, to get me where I need to be.
Does that make sense at all to anyone? I hope so because I have a feeling this is really, really important stuff for some reason. lol
All is well in my world!
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Who Moves the World?
Not that which the eye can see, but that whereby the eye can see; know that to be Braham the eternal, and not what people here adore;
Not that which the ear can hear, but that whereby the ear can hear; know that to be Braham the eternal, and not what people here adore;
Not that which speech can illuminate, but that by which speech can be illuminated; know that to be Braham the eternal, and not what people here adore;
Not that which the mind can think, but that whereby the mind can think; know that to be Braham the eternal, and not what people here adore.
-The Kena Upanishads, written over 2000 years ago.
How beautiful and thought stopping, is that? Braham, of course, is God. As you can see I am having a soul seeking kind of day. :)
Retrieved from a You Tube 2001 video with Eckhart Tolle (Sorry...lost info!) & this site:
https://moonlightenedshelves.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/not_that_which_the_mind_can_think/
on April 4, 2017
Four Cardinal Virtues
Lao Tzu once said that if we want to live life fully there are four cardinal virtues we must adhere to. These are found in the Tao Te Ching and were written about by Wayne Dyer in his book Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life (Hay House; 2007)
Paraphrased loosely after reading the above book, after hearing Wayne Dyer speak on public television about this and after reading a wonderful article I found on a quick google search (please find the site listed below and be sure to check it out) they are as follows:
1. Have reverence for all life
2. Operate with natural sincerity
3. Be gentle/Be kind
4. Serve
Dyer and the author below explain these much better than I ever could. Please check out these resources:
Dyer, Wayne ( 2007) Change Your thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the wisdom of the Tao. Hay House.
Azriel ReShel (Sept 2016) Lao Tzu's Four Rules for Living from UpLift. http://upliftconnect.com/lao-tzus-four-rules-living/ Retrieved on April 4, 2017
Paraphrased loosely after reading the above book, after hearing Wayne Dyer speak on public television about this and after reading a wonderful article I found on a quick google search (please find the site listed below and be sure to check it out) they are as follows:
1. Have reverence for all life
2. Operate with natural sincerity
3. Be gentle/Be kind
4. Serve
Dyer and the author below explain these much better than I ever could. Please check out these resources:
Resources
Dyer, Wayne ( 2007) Change Your thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the wisdom of the Tao. Hay House.
Azriel ReShel (Sept 2016) Lao Tzu's Four Rules for Living from UpLift. http://upliftconnect.com/lao-tzus-four-rules-living/ Retrieved on April 4, 2017
A little more on a patient focused and holistic approach to wellness
The cure of many diseases is unknown to physicians...because they are ignorant of the whole. For the part can never be well unless the whole is well.
Plato
More tired than usual the last week or so. Pooped out lol...even with the writing. Still, it is through writing that I feel better.
Yesterday I felt that health continuum article coming out of me and it was persistent and determined so I plopped it down here ... even though I had already completed my morning fix of an entry a day. :) Sometimes...I just have to write something specific. I am not sure why...but it is like out of the blue I hear a little voice saying, "Okay you go sit your butt down right now and I am going to tell you what to do with those fingers of yours." Next thing I know there is a big long spiel about something that has been on my mind for a while maybe or something I never thought about before ( at least not consciously :)) staring up at me from the once blank page. It is kind of cool. This type of "inspired" writing usually leads to more awareness and more education and more growth. :) It takes me to wellness! The teacher, the healer is coming from the inside rather than the outside. Maybe I am channelling Hippocrates or someone lol.
Anyway...just writing that entry yesterday afternoon has made things clearer for me. I know where I am. For the most part, I am very, very healthy functioning at a high level of wellness...physically, however, I am struggling with issues I believe to be disabling and limiting right now. So I am not in balance nor do I have "complete well being". As Plato quotes above...I am not really well until all of me is well. My goal is to get beyond that and carry all of me to well being. How do I do that? Not by pushing for a more solid diagnosis and "outside" intervention but by using my strengths which are my awareness, desire to learn and willingness to grow. It is all good. I am going to get there.
When I see the limitations of the medical model, I also can detach from my need for validation from others a little bit more. I see how I do not belong in one neat little spot on the continuum nor do I have to. Which is a good thing. Don't get me wrong...I am by no means devaluing physicians or what they can do. I just believe that the responsibility for wellness belongs to the individual. The individual determines, achieves, controls and maintains it. Physicians play a very important "supportive" role in the health experience but they are not the key player...the patient is. We also have to look beyond mental and physical health to all dimensions of health and especially to the role spirit plays in wellness. The only parts of me that are not highly functioning right now...are the physical and the social in terms of employment and finances. Everything else is A okay. :) I am confident that my growth is going to take me to a place that will bring these not so healthy parts of me in alignment with the rest of me that is already soaring at a high level of wellness.
All truly is well in my little world. :)
This condition of holistic health is defined as the unlimited and unimpeded free flow of life force energy through body, mind, and spirit. ....
The Academy of Integrative Health & Medicine (https://ahha.org/selfhelp-articles/principles-of-holistic-medicine/)
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
The Continuum
In 1972, a physician by the name of John Travis developed the above scale to help identify levels of illness and wellness in individuals or groups. He believed that wellness was a process, not a static state of being, with individuals moving up and down the scale throughout their life spans. Travis was trying to incorporate a humanistic and psychosocial approach that went beyond a disease/ "physician in control" focus. I see a lot of merit in this scale but I also see some discrepancies due to the fact that it is still very much based on the medical model. It basically describes illness (he just added mental illness into the pot) that can be diagnosed and treated by a physician once disability, symptoms and signs become apparent. Most of us know by now...that a lack of wellness is determined by much more than a disease (be it mental or physical) found in a medical manual and that high levels of wellness can be obtained and maintained despite a medical diagnosis. I also do not agree with the suggestion that signs show up before symptoms on the road to disability. In other words, this model proposes that despite what a patient is experiencing...unless the test results and what the physician determines as sufficient objective data show up... the patient is not disabled or ill. Doctors are placed in a position where they and only they can determine how well or how ill someone is.
What is missing from this model, then, is the priority of patient experience over other observation. What is also missing from this model is a holistic approach with the patient at the center of the locus of control. Treatment from the outside, with medical interventions, can begin only after signs are determined by the diagnosing physician. The goal of treatment is to push the patient past the neutral point to awareness. As if to say...the patient is not aware of their experience prior to that point; the patient has no control of their experience when they are "unwell" until someone outside themselves says "This is what is wrong with you and I am going to tell you what to do about it!" After treatment, the physician "enlightens" the patient and education can begin. So we had diagnosing based on signs seen by the physician before the patient's subjective experience is questioned. The patient is pushed by someone outside themselves to the neutral point and only from there can they become aware enough to seek education from others ( proponents of the medical model) on how to stay well as they grow into a very limited and restricted version of health...which is simply determined by how far away from "disease' one is. The use of "growth " is limited ironically by the limitations of disease.
The development of the continuum has definitely advanced us further. It does have its merits. This was a big step in 1972...Our society had to step away from the focus on physical disease and to recognize the disability that mental health can cause in individuals lives. Mental illness was not accepted or recognized, treated and healed the way it could have been up to that point. According to Travis, just because people do not have a diagnosable physical condition...they still may have a mental one. So true.
Unfortunately, however, returning to wellness on this continuum is still a physician controlled process. It is saying that patients below the neutral point...still need to be labelled according to their signs, and then their symptoms before disability is recognized and treated. If the label cannot be found in the pathophysiology text, it will be found in the DSM 5. Wellness then is determined by the absence of physical or mental health. One or the other. We are still focusing on the absence of disease, are we not?
Where I stand on this continuum
This continuum doesn't work for me. I don't fit into any slot very easily. Where am I?...I believe my body is hovering along the yellow, feeling the orange but because others are not looking clearly enough...bypassing the green. According to others...there is just not enough green to say I am on this side of neutral. I see enough signs but in this model it is not about what I see and think, is it? My interpretation of my experience is not valued. I am told I need someone with an MD behind their name to tell me there is enough signs to make my symptoms valid, to give me a label and render me physically disabled. If I do not get that...I am more or less told I have no business being here and I better scoot my sorry ass up the continuum to at least neutral. If I insist that at least part of me is still struggling down in the green zone...then...it isn't a physical ailment leaving me there but a mental one. I must either be lying or mentally ill if I have symptoms with a limited amount of approved signs. Any professions of illness on my part have to be validated by a professional in order for others to accept my being where I am.
I strongly believe that if some physician was willing to spend the time in examining my family and myself they would discover that many of us are physically on the orange ( at risk for premature death) and many have actually advanced to the red ( death) because of an inherited cardiovascular condition. I am speaking of my siblings as well as my paternal cousins. Just in the last 12 years 6 family members including my own sister, under the age of 60, have died suddenly because of a cardiovascular crisis. My father lost 4 brothers under 60 to sudden cardiovascular related death. He himself had his first MI at 50. My other surviving sisters had their MI's or cardiovascular events in their early 50's as well. (40-60 being the time frame in which this undiagnosed condition tends to manifest itself, with the exception of me. I was much younger when I first started to get symptoms). At quick glance , however, it seems to be much easier for "others" to ignore this as coincidence and slap me with a liar or mental illness label to explain my symptomology, then it is for them to explore the possibility of inherited cardiovascular disease. Once that mental illness or dishonest label is placed on an individual...all signs indicating otherwise seem to go unseen and unvalidated.
And what about the criteria on the other side of neutral? Where do I fit there? Mentally, emotionally, spiritually I am well above neutral. I am actually very aware of my condition and myself. I am more aware than most of what my body and my mind are doing. I am seeking awareness on even higher levels of understanding. If I am stuck on the other side under a mental illness label, how come I am so aware? No one has told me that my symptoms are real and no one has given me permission to be "disabled". No one has told me exactly what was wrong and what to do about it. Yet I am in the blue zone with my awareness. In fact, I was always aware. Am I educated? I am very educated on the subject of physical and mental wellness and lack of. I educate on these subjects. No one is educating me...because no one is validating the signs. Does that make me any less educated? No...far from it. It spurs me on to learn more about myself and why my body is doing what it is doing. And I am growing over and beyond conventional understanding and this notion of limitation. I am obviously very much in the blue advancing toward high level wellness without "other" intervention.
So part of me is on one end of the spectrum and the other part of me...at the exact same time... is on the other. How can that be? There is much more to wellness than this continuum allows for. Despite my present (and temporary) physical limitations, I consider myself to be very healthy!
The Other Dimensions
We need to examine the other dimensions of health? In 1942, the World Health Organization defined health as "a state of complete physical, mental and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." And to take it a step further and a step back to the health practices that have gone on long before Hippocrates, Health is balance between mind, body and spirit. Do we see these things on this continuum or in the medical model? No
Complete well being is not placed on this model even though the importance of mental wellness is recognized. Why? Complete well being is fostered by the individual, controlled by the individual and obtained by the individual. Complete well being is a spiritual well being! Medicine cannot ensure that. Oh they can help...for sure...remove symptoms and stop the body and possibly the mind from failing quickly but without inclusion of the spirit...there is no complete well being.
Spirit determines wellness and it tells us we are all in the blue zone. We all are capable of high level wellness and beyond. There really is no "disease' anywhere but in our thinking. The only thing bringing us down the continuum ...to the green, yellow, orange and red is our limiting belief systems and our reliance on models like this one. :)
There are cases out there where people who knew this...people who believed this...people who owned this truth...were able to heal others and themselves. They were able to go from the orange to the blue miraculously without the help of medical intervention. Or they...despite what label was placed on their chart by a physician...never did suffer the symptoms or the disability expected. By putting our attention on "growth" through awareness and education ( the relearning of who and what we really are) we can soar into the place where we are meant to be.
Yes...we travel up and down a continuum of well being. We are constantly learning and forgetting, believing and mistrusting, questioning and testing our beliefs as human beings. It is for that reason we go up and down the continuum. It is faith and trust in life that keeps us in the blue...not a diagnosis or prescription.
All is well in my world!
Good God , morning!!
or
Good Morning, God!!
You choose , how you position those words.
You choose, how you greet the day.
You choose, how your life will be.
paraphrased from a lecture by Wayne Dyer
So you didn't sleep well last night. You have some stressful things to deal with today. Your back is sore and your joints are aching. The alarm goes off and it feels like a kick in the teeth. You are going to be tempted to say, "Good God, morning!!" Don't!
Those first few moments after opening our eyes are crucial determinants to how our day will be. We set a precedent for the remainder of it. How we greet the morning ahead of us is basically how we greet the life ahead of us. If I wake up and curse God for the morning...feeling only my aches and pains and the dread of what is ahead...I am resisting what is. I tell myself and the world that life is something to be avoided and feared; that I don't want it. I have already pretty much determined the outcome of the hours ahead of me. I allow those negative thoughts to determine what day I am going to have. I chose a life approach based on resistance, fear and hardship.
If, on the other hand, I wake up and stretch up tall, smile and say out loud; "Good morning, God!" I am expressing how wonderful it is to wake up to yet another day and I am honoring God for the blessing of being alive. I am alive!!! There is a full day of living before me!!!. I am grateful for the moment and open and accepting of the day ahead of me. I send good thoughts out into the hours that will make up this day. I choose a life approach of acceptance, hope and expectation.
Every thought is a catalyst for an emotional response. Every emotion is energy that is stored within or expressed outwardly. What we think and say to others is going to determine how we feel, and how we feel will determine our life outcomes. Those first few moments upon awakening are fresh moments ...we have a clean slate...and we can build on that with positivity or negativity. We can greet the day or we can curse the day. We can accept it gratefully or we can resist it and crawl back into bed with the pillow over our heads. We can stretch into it or attempt to curl up away from it...but the day will pass regardless. It can be amazing or it can be ugly. That is our choice!
So get out of bed, plant a smile on your face, stretch up tall and say..."Good Morning, God!!!" Say it! Act as if you feel it and you eventually will!!! This is your day!! This is your life!! Isn't it amazing?
Good Morning, God!!
Monday, April 3, 2017
Accept-then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. always work with it, not against it...This will miraculously transform your whole life.
Eckhart Tolle
Yesterday was an eventful day...well eventful in the "emotional" sense of things if not in the action. I have been so tired the last few days I have been doing even less than usual. In fact, yesterday afternoon I sat down to meditate for the usual 20 minutes...got up an hour and a half later lol. I think I nodded off from time to time losing track of the minutes. It seemed like 20 minutes. The day before I closed my eyes on the couch and 2 hours slipped past. My body is demanding rest and I am giving it what it wants. That is okay.
So anyway...why was yesterday emotionally eventful. I am still pondering my need to let go of certain thing as I wrote yesterday; I feel a little less well physically; I think I finally may be hitting the transition point of a woman's life (well I said that before didn't I lol...but I have had no pain in 5 weeks! yeah!!!); I got two manuscripts out to publishers yesterday and I am watching my youngest endure her first heart break. There...other than seeing my daughter go through that...I feel so much at peace with everything. I was walking in the woods yesterday with the dogs and I felt myself settling into the moment. I was so connected to what I was doing then...there was no fanfare, money pouring down on me; no bells or whistles; no great achievement other than one foot going down before the other...there was no past or no future either...just the moment and I felt peace inside. I felt the peace I want to feel. I had what I really, really want from life in that moment. I found myself saying, "Thank you! Thank you!" over and over again. It was amazing.
So about the manuscripts...two in one shot out to an Australian Publishing company that only accepts submissions on the first Monday of every month. They look for the unagented, unsolicited work of new authours. How cool is that? Considering the time difference...I was up until midnight trying to rewrite synopsis's and edit sample chapters....but I got them out! I write to write but I know that publishing is a part of the process. To complete the cycle...I need readers. As challenging and frustrating as it is at times to submit...I know it comes with the package. So when some easy opportunity presents itself to allow that to happen...I jump on it. Two out in one shot. That just makes me feel good. Once it is out I let it go. I write down somewhere when and to where I sent each manuscript and I completely forget about it...until I hear back, if I hear back. Once it is submitted I feel it is out of my hands. It is like putting the boat in and letting Life carry it down stream. My part was the writing and the submitting...Life takes care of the rest. So I don't pay any more attention to it. I feel good knowing that I have two of my books out there.
My daughter's heart break is at the forefront of my thinking. Such a necessary part of growth, eh? Yet so hard to watch. At the same time...I know Life is guiding her to something better. Hmmm!
All is well in my world.
Eckhart Tolle
Yesterday was an eventful day...well eventful in the "emotional" sense of things if not in the action. I have been so tired the last few days I have been doing even less than usual. In fact, yesterday afternoon I sat down to meditate for the usual 20 minutes...got up an hour and a half later lol. I think I nodded off from time to time losing track of the minutes. It seemed like 20 minutes. The day before I closed my eyes on the couch and 2 hours slipped past. My body is demanding rest and I am giving it what it wants. That is okay.
So anyway...why was yesterday emotionally eventful. I am still pondering my need to let go of certain thing as I wrote yesterday; I feel a little less well physically; I think I finally may be hitting the transition point of a woman's life (well I said that before didn't I lol...but I have had no pain in 5 weeks! yeah!!!); I got two manuscripts out to publishers yesterday and I am watching my youngest endure her first heart break. There...other than seeing my daughter go through that...I feel so much at peace with everything. I was walking in the woods yesterday with the dogs and I felt myself settling into the moment. I was so connected to what I was doing then...there was no fanfare, money pouring down on me; no bells or whistles; no great achievement other than one foot going down before the other...there was no past or no future either...just the moment and I felt peace inside. I felt the peace I want to feel. I had what I really, really want from life in that moment. I found myself saying, "Thank you! Thank you!" over and over again. It was amazing.
So about the manuscripts...two in one shot out to an Australian Publishing company that only accepts submissions on the first Monday of every month. They look for the unagented, unsolicited work of new authours. How cool is that? Considering the time difference...I was up until midnight trying to rewrite synopsis's and edit sample chapters....but I got them out! I write to write but I know that publishing is a part of the process. To complete the cycle...I need readers. As challenging and frustrating as it is at times to submit...I know it comes with the package. So when some easy opportunity presents itself to allow that to happen...I jump on it. Two out in one shot. That just makes me feel good. Once it is out I let it go. I write down somewhere when and to where I sent each manuscript and I completely forget about it...until I hear back, if I hear back. Once it is submitted I feel it is out of my hands. It is like putting the boat in and letting Life carry it down stream. My part was the writing and the submitting...Life takes care of the rest. So I don't pay any more attention to it. I feel good knowing that I have two of my books out there.
My daughter's heart break is at the forefront of my thinking. Such a necessary part of growth, eh? Yet so hard to watch. At the same time...I know Life is guiding her to something better. Hmmm!
All is well in my world.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
Wayne Dyer
Of all the things I want in life...I think more often of peace. I want to feel totally accepting of life as it is without any intense need to fix it, control it, own it. I need to train my mind to let go of certain things that have happened that I believed should not have happened and I need to see the gift in those things as I walk away. Learn from them. Heal from them. Grow from them.
I want to be able to look within me and around me and say..."Awe...this is exactly as it should be. It is what it is and I am more than okay with that!" How much easier our lives would be if we could do that.
It is all choice. We can choose to resist or choose to accept. Choose to cling or choose to let go. Choose attack or choose peace. Choose the freedom of growth or choose the prison of self pity.
I had enough of self pity...I choose growth.
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.
Wayne Dyer
Wayne Dyer
Of all the things I want in life...I think more often of peace. I want to feel totally accepting of life as it is without any intense need to fix it, control it, own it. I need to train my mind to let go of certain things that have happened that I believed should not have happened and I need to see the gift in those things as I walk away. Learn from them. Heal from them. Grow from them.
I want to be able to look within me and around me and say..."Awe...this is exactly as it should be. It is what it is and I am more than okay with that!" How much easier our lives would be if we could do that.
It is all choice. We can choose to resist or choose to accept. Choose to cling or choose to let go. Choose attack or choose peace. Choose the freedom of growth or choose the prison of self pity.
I had enough of self pity...I choose growth.
With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.
Wayne Dyer
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Illness is not a problem. You are the problem- as long as the egoic mind is in control. When you are ill or disabled do not feel like you have failed in some way, do not feel guilty. Do not blame life for treating you unfairly, but do not blame yourself either. All that is resistance…..Anything “bad” that happens in your life-use it for enlightenment. Withdraw time from the illness. Do not give it any past or future. Let it force you into intense present-moment awareness-and see what happens.
(Tolle, E. (1999) The power of Now. New World Library: Novato)
That is what I am doing...what I have always been doing (or at least trying)...to let this illness or whatever you describe it as...to force me into present moment awareness. I want to use it for enlightenment. Enlightenment is the goal for all of us...if we know it or not. Maybe this illness is giving me a short cut there.
Illness is not a problem...my egoic mind is the problem. It feeds me with all this guilt and shame about not working and about "wimping out". It tells me I should push, push, push and keep going no matter how bad I feel. When I can't keep up with its demands I feel shame and guilt because I perceive failure. It is not my physical limitations that are making me feel guilty but how I "think" about them. I just have to change the thinking. That is all I ever had to do.
All is well in my world.
(Tolle, E. (1999) The power of Now. New World Library: Novato)
That is what I am doing...what I have always been doing (or at least trying)...to let this illness or whatever you describe it as...to force me into present moment awareness. I want to use it for enlightenment. Enlightenment is the goal for all of us...if we know it or not. Maybe this illness is giving me a short cut there.
Illness is not a problem...my egoic mind is the problem. It feeds me with all this guilt and shame about not working and about "wimping out". It tells me I should push, push, push and keep going no matter how bad I feel. When I can't keep up with its demands I feel shame and guilt because I perceive failure. It is not my physical limitations that are making me feel guilty but how I "think" about them. I just have to change the thinking. That is all I ever had to do.
All is well in my world.
Letting Go
Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.
Ann Landers
Hmmm! I have always had this remarkable ability to walk away from things once I reach a certain point of knowing it is time to.
Walking Away
That walking away can be merely emotional or mental ...as in not allowing something to consume me... but it can also be physical. Once I know it is time and I feel ready...I can turn my back on a person, place or situation and never revisit it again. I can completely shut it out of my world somehow.
When I leave a relationship, for example, I leave a relationship. I shut it all down on some level. I can let it go...with it goes any resentment, wanting, blaming and needing. I forgive and let it go so I can move forward into my life.
That ability is a gift and a blessing and it has saved me many, many times. The only necessary component for this to happen peacefully is the readiness. I have to be ready. If I am pulled from a situation by unexpected circumstance or choices made by others or if someone leaves me without warning when there was no time for proper goodbyes...it is harder to let go. I eventually do but it takes a little longer because I wasn't ready.
Readiness comes from acceptance. When we finally put down our futile attempts to instigate change in areas we have no right to control i.e the behaviour of other people; Life's flow; nature etc ...we can begin to make ourselves ready.
Ready for what?
Ready to accept life as it is. When I stop trying to nag, push, cajole and manipulate my children to behave a certain way, for example, I am becoming accepting of that fact that this is their life journey not mine. When I do that I am ready to let go of any false sense of ownership over their choices, over them, I think I may have. I let them go. I turn my back...not so much on my children...but on the people I expected and wanted them to be. I let that go.
And what do I find instead?
The people that they are. I move forward in an authentic and real way. We all move forward.
That is what letting go offers...an opportunity to move forward authentically. Holding on and hanging in keep us stuck in the past. I don't know about you, but I want to be pulled into life by all that is in front of me. I can't be pulled forward if I am held back. Letting go is freeing.
All is well in my world.
Ann Landers
Hmmm! I have always had this remarkable ability to walk away from things once I reach a certain point of knowing it is time to.
Walking Away
That walking away can be merely emotional or mental ...as in not allowing something to consume me... but it can also be physical. Once I know it is time and I feel ready...I can turn my back on a person, place or situation and never revisit it again. I can completely shut it out of my world somehow.
When I leave a relationship, for example, I leave a relationship. I shut it all down on some level. I can let it go...with it goes any resentment, wanting, blaming and needing. I forgive and let it go so I can move forward into my life.
That ability is a gift and a blessing and it has saved me many, many times. The only necessary component for this to happen peacefully is the readiness. I have to be ready. If I am pulled from a situation by unexpected circumstance or choices made by others or if someone leaves me without warning when there was no time for proper goodbyes...it is harder to let go. I eventually do but it takes a little longer because I wasn't ready.
Readiness comes from acceptance. When we finally put down our futile attempts to instigate change in areas we have no right to control i.e the behaviour of other people; Life's flow; nature etc ...we can begin to make ourselves ready.
Ready for what?
Ready to accept life as it is. When I stop trying to nag, push, cajole and manipulate my children to behave a certain way, for example, I am becoming accepting of that fact that this is their life journey not mine. When I do that I am ready to let go of any false sense of ownership over their choices, over them, I think I may have. I let them go. I turn my back...not so much on my children...but on the people I expected and wanted them to be. I let that go.
And what do I find instead?
The people that they are. I move forward in an authentic and real way. We all move forward.
That is what letting go offers...an opportunity to move forward authentically. Holding on and hanging in keep us stuck in the past. I don't know about you, but I want to be pulled into life by all that is in front of me. I can't be pulled forward if I am held back. Letting go is freeing.
All is well in my world.
Dear housecleaning,
You are not attractive and I am not doing you.
Sorry
(unknown)
Do you remember this from March 27th? (I am sure you have nothing better to do than remember big long spiels from my entries lol). I said I would revisit this in a month to see how things are.
A professional cleaning company has come in to clean my house and now I have someone hired to come in once a week to maintain it. At least half of the previous clutter is gone to charity. I have clean and easy to maintain stone counters that always shine, I have freshly painted cupboards and walls that are easy to wipe clean. I mop the floor with ease twice a week with this easy to use mop. The new garbage/ recyclable container in the kitchen and the one outside...help to keep garbage hidden away. Our Roomba works hard so I do not have to...and there is no little to no hair. The pet covers fit nicely over the bit of furniture we have and contain the remainders of the pet hair. The air is fresh in this open spacious house thanks to the wall down and the air purifiers. There is so much light brightening up everything. Kids are helping out with cooking on the self cleaning oven, taking turns loading and emptying the dishwasher; and washing and putting away their own laundry. The kitchen floor looks clean enough to eat off of. Kids have their space downstairs and bring friends over all the time. I have people in as well. It is all good."
I feel peaceful, worry-free, content, warm, confident and more than welcoming when I look at my home before opening it to others. When the doors are closed, I feel so content and peaceful in my clean little habitat. I feel secure in knowing that I am doing my part in creating a clean, secure environment for those I love.
What have I manifested so far: I got a new garbage can...yeah...may not seem like much to you but it makes my life so much easier. We are looking for a Roomba with every intention of buying one when we find one on sale for a reasonable price. I removed the old pet covers from the couch and put on sheets...not attractive...no...but they stay better than the other covers do and maybe the dog hair is more contained...maybe. :) We are also looking for air purifiers. Don did very well this week so we can afford them. Well...about the kids...hmmmm...well my daughter did her own laundry this week. That is a start. I am cleaning a little more...some days.(see above quote :)) I am going to buy that mop that makes cleaning floors easier today or tomorrow...put a little money away from the child tax credit for that. Whether it works or not, it is going to make me feel better thinking that life will be easier and I will be likely to use it lol. It is all a mental game of thinking and feeling better, right?
So how do I feel...now. I feel more peace than I did. I worry less about the house. A little more hopeful if not completely content with my home environment right now. I won't have an open house any time soon lol but now that I have a "clean home" out there as an intention I do feel better.
It is all good!
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