Submitting

I actually wrote this on April 26

Turning a manuscript into a book is easy; getting the manuscript ready to become a book is hard.

AP Fuchs

 I sent out some book proposals yesterday to satisfy both the Mary and the Martha in me :) Before I go any farther, you do know that I am not delusional?...(Well we are all delusional) ...but I do not have a fixed false belief that there is actually a person called "Mary" and a person called "Martha" living  in me. lol  Just so you know.  More than a few people think I am off my rocker, as it is, because of what I write and sometimes speak about. To those individuals this waking up stuff is just a bunch of "crazy woo-woo!" and I am the "crazy lady" that is spewing it. So when I write or speak  figuratively,  they may be taking it literally. I can assure you, I am no crazier than any one else but we are all more than a little crazy, aren't we?  

Anyway...as I was saying...I sent some book proposals out yesterday. And I am feeling a tremendous sense of relief. "I half completed the cycle! I am getting somewhere. "  You see, with me, the writing process involves not only the idea to write, the completion of the many drafts, and then the finished product but it also involves having what I have written... read.  I do not put a lot of focus on who reads it and what they may think about it. But I need a reader to finish the cycle.  Nothing is completed until it is read, as far as I am concerned. By submitting, I am releasing what I wrote to a reader (even if it doesn't get published); I am closing the circle. 

 I am doing my best not to prefer, I am... but I meet a certain resistance when it comes to the submission process.  I could write forever about almost anything. Hours, days, weeks could go by with me barely getting out of this spot. It is almost effortless...but when it comes to submitting. Yick! I am challenged to write a synopsis or a book proposal  or  a cover letter that will make someone out there want to consider what I wrote.   I have to push myself through it. I find it unnatural to have to promote myself or what I write, to "sell it". I just want to hand whomever the manuscript  and say,  "Here...read it...this is who I am...if you like it, great,,,if you don't, that's great too...Thanks for reading it. " Once it is out there...I stop thinking about it.  I mean really...but to get it out there requires a certain amount of unnatural work and effort from me. 

Anyway, I usually finish what I write before I send it out too, but this time I sent out a proposal for a work in progress.  ...so the cycle is only half completed.  Still, I feel relief...mostly due to the fact that I am done with the proposal lol. I can go back to the book and relax as I write it. Do I think someone is going to pick it up?  No, not really. I am just being honest and realistic when I say that.  I chose publishers I would be honored to publish under but I know the chances for an unknown to be recognized by them is low.  It is a risk  to publish an unknown. There is also a heck of a lot better writers out there than me with topics that might be more suitable for publication. There is a lot of writers with agents, more publications and credentials under their belts  too. Though I usually write to serve a need, not everyone is aware that they need what I share lol. All I offer, can offer, is me in my imperfect form with my imperfect gift of words and shared wisdom. That might not be what others want. :) 

Will I be disappointed and hurt with each rejection? No, not really.  Like I said I let it go and I don't create unreal expectations for myself or others.  If it happens, it happens.  It is all good! The important thing is I have the proposals out there! I am churning the wheel. (Might send it out to a couple of more smaller presses, round the number out a bit)  For the most part, my contribution in this is complete..for now...the rest is  up to Life, not "me".  So I let it go! 

All is well in the world.