Reshape yourself through the power of your will; never let yourself be degraded by self-will. The will is the only friend of the Self, and the will is the only enemy of the Self.
The Gita, Chapter 6, Verse 5 (as translated by Eknath Easwaran)
So this spiritual process many of us are undertaking is basically a reshaping of ourselves from overidentification with self to realization of Self. The key component is our willingness to awaken.
I am definitely willing. So often I find myself, however, frustrated as I look at my awakening process. I catch my mind questioning, "Am I moving at all?", as I continue to jot down my learning and practice highlights and lowlights here. I so often feel like I am in a vehicle going up a hill in neutral. Then I listen to Michael Singer on one of his weekly podcasts or read something beautiful from a scripture or from another enlightened master and it is like..."Man...I am getting somewhere. I am learning. I am growing, albeit not quickly, but steadily. " My willingness to awaken is getting me up that hill.
I had such an "aha moment" today upon listening to the podcast below. Yesterday I wrote about what I am learning to do with pain as a practice of relaxing into what is. I recognized that I hit a limit I was at this point not able to get beyond. Everytime we recognize ( and record like I do here) our slip ups into reactivity, is learning. I see how I am catching myself sooner in my reactivity and learning to relax and to release into uncomfortable experiences like physical pain. I see how I have accomplished so much and at the same time see there are fruit out there that remain a little too high for my reach...for now.
I am using my will to awaken. I am using it for Self and not against Self...well that is what I am hoping I am doing lol.I am starting to wake up and it is very confusing and uncomfortable in here as these old samskaras rise up to the surface. It is challenging not to degrade myself and push them back down. The core beliefs I am reminded of are difficult pills to swallow. Yet, I know they have to be up here and not down there if they are going to be released. Resisting them requires a use of my self-will against Self rather than for it. I don't want to do that anymore but it isn't always easy.
I would love to accelerate my awakening so I am willing to use everything taht comes my way as a means to do so. Of course I slip up but at least I am noticing when I slip up and fall back into reactivity. That is a positive thing, isn't it? Anyway....
Singer assures us that if we keep up with this practice, we will eventually be free of our blockages, Shakti will flow through and someday we may even connect with the Source of that shakti. But the more we let go, the easier it gets. We will eventually see that we are and were never alone. Hmmm!
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added onto you. ( Matthew 6:33)
All is well in my world.
Michael A. Singer/ Temple of teh Universe ( April 2, 2023) Accelerating Your Awakening . https://tou.org/talks/
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