ACIM-T-14:III:7:3-5
There is nothing to forgive?
That is a hard line for many of us to swallow especially if we grew up believing we were "eternal sinners," always at the mercy of attack and condemnation, not only from each other but from God Himself. We are "supposed" to be guilty and because of that we are supposed to make guilt in others so we can be the "better person" and forgive them, right?
People do "bad" things. They (other people) attack us with their words or bodies; they steal and covet; they lie and cheat; and they stab us in the back in a myriad of ways. They break many of the ten commandments throughout the day and it is our job as fellow community members ( whether that community be a family, a work place, a neighborhood, a religion or society at large) to be watchful of these infractions and judge, condemn and punish accordingly. We need to determine guilt in others , make them do some form of penance so we can forgive. That is the traditional way we deal with any form of injury inflicted upon us by another. And we do it in the name of God. That is what we know and that is how we live.
ACIM offers another take on this idea of "forgiveness" beyond the traditionally held beliefs of Atonement/Penance. Atonement, according to ACIM ( and other doctrines) doesn't require 100 Hail Mary's or a stent of community service. It involves a healing that occurs when we see that we cannot be harmed. If we cannot be harmed...no injury occurred and therefore there is nothing to forgive.
Huh?
If there is nothing to forgive the whole world, as we know it, basically falls a part, doesn't it? What are we going to do with the pain we feel when our lover runs off with another? When our best friend says bad things to us? Or if someone attacks us on the street and steals our purse? These things "hurt", don't they? They are "wrong", "evil", "bad" and the person perpetuating them is "guilty", aren't they? Punishment is called for.
The Need For Guilt
If they are guilty, we have something to forgive and forgiveness will distract us from our pain to some degree. It will become our "higher purpose". So we seek to forgive (on ego's terms) but only after the individual does enough to show that they are accepting of their own guilt and is genuinely remorseful. We still need revenge. We need them to pay for what they did to us with a certain amount of guilt, don't we? Guilt itself is the punishment.
When we ascribe to this belief system...what are our day to day experiences like? We may feel a certain "specialness" and a stronger ego identity when we become the better person forgiving the sins of another but is this peace? We are also usually very fearful when guilt is our focus...watching and waiting for an attack on our person from the millions of "guilty" people out there, doing what we can to defend against it. We may become the attackers..."Attack before attacked!" . We are hyper-vigilant and fearful, walking around on what seems to be a very dark and dangerous planet waiting for the "guilty" to pop out in front of us and do something nasty.
More importantly, if others are guilty we must accept that we are too. We have to watch ourselves, defend and attack ourselves. We need to punish ourselves. So we live with that heavy burden of guilt that weighs on us like a ten ton brick greatly obscuring the peace that is our natural birthright.
The more guilty we feel, the worse we feel. To relieve some of that weight we project the guilt outward onto others. We make the world even "guiltier" than it already is to our mixed up minds, perpetuating a big cycle of guilt and so called forgiveness that never seems to end.
Where is the peace? Where is the Love? Where is the joy in this mode of seeing and making guilty? Is this actually forgiveness? Healing? Is this what God intended?
Many great spiritual platforms, including ACIM, teach that forgiveness is the greatest form of healing but that it doesn't come from seeking to make wrong. It comes from seeing that there is no wrong.
Real Forgiveness
Real Forgiveness begins with seeing clearly...not through eyes of judgement and condemnation; not through a need to defend and attack and not through a mind that identifies itself with ego. Forgiveness begins with seeing who we truly are beneath the form identity. That is the first step in atonement.
When we do this we realize that, Only form can be injured. (Eckhart Tolle) ...that is a very important truth to master. When someone says a mean thing to us, the psychological form is injured...not who we are beneath that form. When someone slaps us across the face, only the physical form is injured, not who we truly are.
Who we truly are...this essence, this "Spirit", this piece of God, this consciousness, this higher Self, this vast spaciousness; this Purusa...whatever you wish to call it...can not be harmed. It is eternal, formless, infinite, changeless etc etc. It is real. Everything else is just not that real. Once we realize this we see that no injury can take place upon our being...therefore there really is nothing to forgive.
The individual who attempts to harm our form identity is the same essence we are, hidden behind an ego that is unconscious...not yet aware of It Self. That ego veil may be so heavy and dense they do not see clearly who they are and therefore do not see clearly who they are dealing with in us. They buy into this belief system that there is a need for guilt and forgiveness, defense and attack and live according to that. They are simply "blinded by fear" and striking out in their own created darkness. Can you blame someone who hurts you when they are unconscious; when they know not what they do?
And what part of you are they hurting...only the ego and the ego means nothing. What stings is the ego. What reacts is the ego. What looks to guilt is the ego. The body can get bruised up by another. We do not need to stand there to take a beating from an unconscious individual...by all means run for help or defend yourself... but we need to realize that who we truly are is not harmed by this. The form identity may get hurt...but is that such a bad thing?
Sticks and stones
may break my bones;
but names will never
hurt me.
We need to separate the deed from the doer and the deed from our ego's need to judge if we want the peace of true forgiveness. The injury we may perceive with a slap across the face, is really not an injury until the mind makes it one. It is simply an incident...a slap across the face causing some physical pain and an activation of the fight or flight response.
It is what our mind does with it that feeds the ego's need for "wrong", guilt, attack and defense. We build story around it, label it, judge it and the other person as "evil". We cling to it and throw it in the big pile of other grievances we collected against this person and people at large. Remove the story, the judgments etc and we remove the sense of "insult" and the need to make guilty. We are really not being harmed.
When we look to the other person who supposedly injured us or has does something the ego judges as wrong we can simply learn to say, as we tap into that deeper part of us, " You can do nothing that can hurt me. You are guiltless. " By doing that we put down what isn't real and are freed by what is.
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.
If anyone slaps you on the right cheek,
turn to them the other cheek also.
And if anyone wants to sue you or take your shirt,
hand over your coat as well .
Matthew 5:38-40
True forgiveness comes from the higher Self and it is simply a recognition that:
Nothing real can be threatened
Nothing unreal exists
Herein ,lies the peace of God.
ACIM Introduction
All is well in my world.
Inspired by:
ACIM ( 2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Foundation For Inner Peace.
Eckhart Tolle (December 2019) The Nature of Forgiveness/Is It different From Compassion. Eckhart Tolle Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9XHKqn22HY
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