Asking the Wrong Teacher

Sickness is merely another example of your insistence on asking guidance of a teacher who does not know the answer.  The ego is incapable of knowing how you feel...
ACIM-T-8:VIII:7:4-5


I got a call today for another appointment, another test.  When the phone rang with a "No Caller ID" I was too frightened to pick it up.  I waited for the individual on the other end to leave a message.  I was needing a few minutes to process before I called back. And when I did, I discovered it was just for another appointment, for another test...one I already had done twice before. 

My mind automatically went into "Why? Why repeat this same test?  Was the MRI inconclusive?  Or was it so conclusive it showed absolutely nothing of concern and this is simply the test that I was told was going to be done in four months time,  almost four months ago...one final investigation before a file is closed?" 

That explanation felt right to the intuitive part of me and gave me both a sense of relief as well as a little concern.  I want this to mark the end of this particular health seeking journey, I do, I just do not want to be left with, "We do not know what it is but it doesn't seem to be serious." Though that would fit beautifully into the life story of my health seeking, it will not give me peace.

I ask the question, "What is going on in my body?" But who am I asking it too?

A Need to Know and Asking the Wrong Teacher

I want to know what is causing the pain and the visible changes.  I do not want  another inexplicable and invalidated physical disruption to add to my list of many.  Just like I feel the pelvic pain, the chest pain ...I feel this pain and I want to be told what is causing it on the physical level.  I don't want it dismissed like the others were for so very long.    I focus on the body and feel I need to hear what is creating this perception of illness on this level.  My mind tells me that is what I want and what I have a right to. Yet, I also somehow know that if it is health I seek... I am in the wrong classroom and asking the wrong teacher that question.

Health is the beginning of the proper perspective on life under the guidance of the one Teacher who knows what life is, being the Voice for Life itself.
ACIM-T-8:VIII:9:10 

 I realize that as long as I am assuming or fearing illness in my body, my mind is not yet healed and am I not seeing clearly. I am following and listening to a teacher who does not have the answer and  who will never know (or care)  how I feel. That teacher is ego.

As long as I seek the guidance of ego through this body focus I am not  able to hear the answers from the only Teacher Who truly knows. What is going on in my body is not nearly as important as what is going on in my mind.  I should put my questions and my healing focus there.

Once your mind is healed, it radiates health, and thereby teaches healing. ACIM-T-6:V:C:9:7

All is well.

ACIM