Thinking about another ego is as effective in changing relative perception as is physical interaction. There could be no better example that the ego is only an idea and not a fact.
ACIM-T-4:II:2:5-6
Ego
According to the many teachings from A Course in Miracles often echoed in the words of Eckhart Tolle, Ego is said to be the complete identification with form which includes thought, feeling, conviction, body and the circumstances of our life. It is not the feeling but the experience of being lost in that feeling....to the point we are not aware of feeling. It is not the thought but the experience of being lost in that thought to the point of not being aware of our thinking. Does that make sense?
I am learning from my review of the lessons in ACIM. I am seeing what my little me has been doing with this set of circumstances I am going through. It is so cool to be where I am right now in my waking up process...sometimes I am lost in a dream, then I wake up to analyze the dream. :) Other times...a lot of times... I am lucid and can wake myself up. That is becoming more and more apparent and I am grateful.
Unconscious Victim
When I look back at what I am thinking, feeling, doing in my unconscious state I see I often take on a victim's status. I tend to do that and it is confusing me as to why. I see myself not so much a victim of Life...I do not see theses changes occurring on my body, for example, as reason to feel sorry for myself...but I do erroneously see myself as a victim to other egos. That is where my sense of resistance and struggle and my "attack thoughts' come in.
Ego Alert
Life circumstances, pain, illness or even death does not scare me as much as other people do. My "attack thoughts" involve seeing villains in others and my need to protect or defend myself from them. My mind often tells me not to trust the intentions of other egos. That few have my best interests at heart.
I know from viewing my personal history, where that "belief" comes from but as I evolve I think I should be beyond that. I am not. When I realize I am not...I often direct those "attack" thoughts against myself. "How can you think that way? What is wrong with you? You are so paranoid and that makes you nasty? etc" I feel shame and guilt which are powerful weapons the ego uses.
The thing is, the more I listen to my mind, the more I attack myself and others mentally. It is a vicious cycle. Ironically, when I do this the more situations show up where the people I am dealing with are lost in ego.
As I understand "ego" more and recognize it in myself and others...this mistrust of human unconsciousness becomes greater. When I see a person acting consciously I trust...when I see a person dominated by ego, for whatever reason, I automatically mistrust their intentions and fear they could hurt me or others in their unconscious state. It is not that I am meaning to blame people or hurt them and judge them for having egos, especially when I recognize my own. It is more that I am acutely aware, it seems, of unconsciousness in another as I am in myself.
When I do recognize that someone may be carried away by the ego's need to assert itself and be right, I do not judge the entire person...I still attempt to see the inherent goodness...to see evidence of that beautiful neutral space beneath the ego in all.
I also tend to see myself in them. I am, therefore, in no position to judge. I do not feel others need to be punished or judged as "bad" for falling unconscious to their ego's intentions...that would be very, very hypocritical of me. It is just as I try so hard to get around my own big fat swollen ego I find myself needing to maneuver myself around the egos of others as well. I am learning how to best do that.
Ego as the Teacher
I need to accept that ego is in me and around me everywhere. Without blaming or judging I need to be aware of it and find a gentle, nonjudgmental way around it. That might be the practical application to these lessons. The reason these people seem to be showing up is to help me with my learning, you think? My learning mission may be to become aware of ego in me and others and possibly help others to be aware. Does that make sense?
So, yes, just as I see ego in myself, I see ego in others right now. More specifically, in one case I see a person with an apparent need to assert their "righteousness", taking them away from seeing clearly the human need in others. It seems to stand in the way of me and others like me getting the help they need. I can see that tendency towards righteousness in others when it manifests because I see it in me. You see, I see ego in me so I see it in others; I see it in others, therefore I see it in me. That's the way this learning goes.
A need to defend a position, protect the use of resources one feels they are in charge of, the desire to feel more powerful than another (usually so one doesn't feel vulnerable), the need to establish authority and control in decision making and the need to be right can take a person away from seeing clearly what really needs to be seen and experienced . It can take them into complete identification with thought and emotion until reality of a situation fades away. It may make them temporarily unconscious, lost in dream state, pulled from the human purpose of discovering who they truly are. This type of ego dominance may serve the ego...giving it the fuel it needs to grow in strength...but it doesn't serve others and it doesn't serve Self.
Ego's Blind us to Self and Compassion
Most sadly, egos isolate and separate. We cannot be truly compassionate , open and connected to one another if we are dominated by our egos. We will be too busy protecting this idea of "me", "my" and "mine". We can easily become lost in a conviction of : "It is my job to decide; it is my role, my power; my right. I know. I am in charge. This is my stuff and I will decide how it is used and who uses it etc."
Just as I cannot reach beyond this boulder of fear in my psyche which is created by ego to those who need me, when one is lost in the above ego dominated conviction and need to prove they are right, they often can not see beyond their own egoic agenda to recognize the pain, the suffering, the fear in those they swore to help. The unobserved mind has possibly convinced them that their agenda, in these selected situations, is more important than anything else...possibly even more than compassion.
My judging, blaming, condemning this person or persons and wanting some form of punishment or vengeance for that is my ego attacking with thought. I am just as guilty of attack thoughts and if guilt is hell, I put us both in it when I cling to such thinking.
Truth is...I can't change another person or make them more conscious. I can only change the way I think about them and this situation. I can put down my attack thoughts. By doing that I take us both from hell.
And assuming that I am dealing with an ego that is unconsciously and blindly standing between me and my desire for wellness, I am faced with a choice. I can either attack and go ego to ego with this person as I outwardly and publicly express anger, injustice, and complaint ( which in some way I am doing now...sigh) or I could choose another option that doesn't include the ego. I could choose to respond from the place of peace beneath the ego.
By no means am I saying should we condone any unconscious behaviour that has the potential to harm another being or us as individuals but we can put away our "attack thoughts" about it. We can remind ourselves that the person, in question, does not know what they do when they are unconscious. This slipping into unconsciousness is a very common human tendency we all share until we are evolved. We too have and or do slip. So how can we judge another for doing so.
In dealing with the ego of another...we do not need to condemn: we do not need to attack; we do not need to defend; and we do not need to create a story of villains and victims either. We don't condone; we can simply understand. Then we can choose a more peaceful alternative to handling the situation.
I could see peace instead of this. (Lesson 34)
All is well!
ACIM Workbook Lessons 31-40
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