The Way to More

What stands in the way becomes the way.

- Marcus Aurelius

Goodbye 2019; Hello 2020

The last day of 2019.  Tomorrow begins a new decade with quite a ring to it...2020. How often do we have this repeated two digit number?  Once a century.... 1818, 1919...now 2020.  And how often do we have that double O...once a millennium. That is pretty cool even if you are not into numbers like me.  (I am number impaired lol).

Well I hope your 2020 is an amazing year!!!  And that it begins an amazing decade for you....full of peace, joy, love and learning...lots and lots of learning  :)

New challenges ahead

I anticipate ( and of course I don't know anything for certain about the future) that I will be meeting some new challenges in the New Year.  Heck...well that is obvious lol...we will all have challenges to face, obstacles to overcome, barriers to get through .  This is life after all.

I can almost see mine.  And feel them :)  I wake up in the middle of the night feeling the beginning of this challenge leading me to anticipate not only a physical journey ahead but a mental one.  While I don't look forward to the physical part of this that may or may not arise,  I am content knowing there will be so much learning and growing and healing in ways I have yet to heal regardless of what goes on in my body.

Suchness

This learning, growing and healing all begins with accepting the "suchness" ( as Buddha referred to it) of the moment . Surrendering to what is, I am convinced,  opens the door to a greater learning we cannot even begin to comprehend. What appears to stand in the way of our wellness, happiness, and even life can actually become the way to so much more.

At first glance and to the ego....obstacles, closed doors, and  other people's egoic behaviours may appear to hinder us and limit our potential for a full and happy life. If we look closer though we may see that on each of these things that apparently stand in our way is a golden door knob we just need to turn in order  to walk into something far greater than we have ever imagined.

The wait as a gift

Having to wait two and a half weeks, on top of a month of waiting for a diagnostic test requested as urgent by physicians and surgeons just to get a diagnosis that would either put all worry aside, or launch me head on into this  challenge...could by all means be  seen as something unfairly standing in the way.  We could build story around that ( as my mind still likes to do from time to time) or we could look at it as something that just may become the way for me, and possibly others, to what is truly needed.

 It could be what is needed to help others to see how their egos are getting in the way so they can readjust their choices.  It can help  to create better communication and active support for others in the future. 

As for me...it gives me time to deal with my ego that wants to overrun me with fear and resistance...giving me time to learn to accept what is as it is.  I am learning to accept the situation for what it is.  I am allowing myself to feel worry, anger, frustration and confusion and am realizing the more I allow these emotions, the less time they linger. Instead of fighting, resisting, struggling against I am surrendering to the choice that was made by another and I am growing because of that.

If this turns out to be something...this obstacle to knowing,  these two and a half weeks have given me,  will prove to be an open door to a healthier approach.  It was like a practice period preparing to handle what may be up ahead.

I will not launch myself into a full blown fight, struggle, battle against what is.  I will recognize it for what it truly is: Grace.  I will allow it into my life, accept it, embrace it and even appreciate it.  That is how I will handle this thing. As strange as that may seem. I am gong to cooperate with Life. I see true healing in that approach...I see the way to more.  :)

All is well in my world.