A man's felicity consists not in the outward and visible blessing of fortune, but in the inward and unseen perfections and riches of the mind.
-Thomas Carlyle
So, so tired this morning. My day turned out much better yesterday than I expected. Well I really wasn't placing expectations on it anyway and because of that lack of attachment to outcome, I walked away relieved but not thrilled or over-joyed. The thing is...it didn't impact me that much other than offering a bit of relief of the worry I carried (though I kept saying I wasn't carrying it lol). I really was ready to accept whatever...wasn't going to be blown away by bad news nor would I be jumping up and down with "good". I was just going to accept! Which, I have come to believe after years of doing things the hard way, is the healthiest way to approach Life.
Well, I did not get the life altering news I thought might have been possible to receive, which definitely provides a great deal of relief from an imminent threat. But (I feel guilty putting a but in there :))...I didn't get the closure either. More tests...I need to go for more darned tests. Ugh!!!! I am one of those people that do not like to be in between things. Either tell me it is something so I can begin processing or tell me it is nothing so I can walk away and put it out of my mind forever.
But atlas...this is what we got and where we are. It really is no big deal! If it were a big deal...that would have been put on the table yesterday. That would have been obvious. So that is a blessing and the relief it brings now is also a blessing.
Though I didn't get ..."It's nothing...put it out of your mind...all done!" ...the outcome of yesterday's appointment could have been much worse.
I am so grateful for the care and attention the professionals ( especially my GP) devoted to this matter. I am even more grateful for the new way I can use this mind of mine with its unseen perfections and riches.
I am blessed.
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