Just Guests

 We are guests. We are not here to change life , Life is here to change us.

Michael A. Singer

 

Surrender to the Guru Within

 Guru (Master) is Within

Questioner: Can Sri Bhagavan help us to realize the truth?

Sri Ramana Maharshi: Help is always there.

Questioner: Then there is no need to ask questions.  I don't feel the ever present help.

Sri Ramana Maharshi: Surrender and you will find it.

Questioner: I am always at your feet. Will Bhagavan give us some upadesa ( teaching) to follow? Otherwise how can I get help living 600 miles away?

Sri Ramana Maharshi: The sadguru (the guru who is one with being) is within

Questioner: Sadguru is necessary to guide me to understand it.

Sri Ramana Maharshi: The sadguru is within

Questioner: I want a visible guru.

Sri Ramana Maharshi: The visible guru says that he is within

If I had to choose one,  I would have to say Michael A. Singer, in a weird way,  is my external world  guru in this distance learning thing I am doing.  I have always resisted the Indian tradition  of gurus...especially of choosing "one".  I always thought it unwise to exalt another human being to that level of "master"...to give them that power.  Everyone has an ego and I resist the building of other people's egos through that type of devotion, which can easily happen in the unevolved leader. And my mind always wonders, "Is this person sincere and selfless in their mission?   Is this person motivated in their teaching by ego or  higher Self? Does this person  demand that one follows blindly and obediently ( which is often the tradition to teach surrender)? Is it about the message or the messenger( I feel the messenger should just be a shadow in the background of the message and not the star attraction)? And  I ask: is the guru okay mentally? Does he/she/they have a psychiatric illness leading to delusions of Grandeur ?  A certain personality disorder leading to a lack of conscience?  I think of cults and what happens with such blind devotion to unwell, or poorly motivated leaders. So I would not go out and seek a modern day guru. But if I had to pick one...it would be Michael Singer. ( Eckhart Tolle ...a close second  and if Thich Nhat Hanh was alive...he would be number one.)

I am reading the teachings of Meher Baba right now and his message is brilliant.  One can tell that he sincerely lived for the delivery of  his message and to provide selfless service to mankind.   But he did demand devotion and blind obedience from his devotees throughout his years teaching...with the exception of the time he spent as a nomad during the "free life" with his disciples ( very similar to what Jesus did). And he did not just claim to be a guru or a master even...he claimed to be an Avatar...an incarnation of God, often referring to himself as "Me". Maybe he was...who really knows...but my first thought when I heard that from him and felt he truly believed that he was... was..."oh...you are not well.  You are grandiose." What further fueled that thought in me  was his devotion to and his seeking out the "Masts" ...others it seemed who had what would be diagnosed as schizophrenia these days.  He said they were just so filled with divine bliss that they could no longer function in the normal ways.  He believed they had a lot to teach him, Maybe they did...who knows? Maybe that  is true of all schizophrenic patients ...who knows? I certainly don't. The point is...his message was beautiful but because of his proclamations he stood out more than the message did.  That is what I had a hard time with.  Sometimes the guru gets in the way of the message. Sometimes it is more about feeding the guru than it is about getting the message. You know what I mean?

I don't know Michael A. Singer as a person. To me, he is a form and a brilliant mind delivering an amazing message. No offense to him, I don't honor that form or mind more than I honor anyone else on the planet but I do truly honor the message he shares and the way he shares it. He doesn't seem to be feeding his ego with this.  Oh I am sure there is some remaining ego getting stroked by the success of his books and the comments he receives from others...he is human...but I believe  he is sincere in his mission  to get the message out there....to help others change their lives for the better with what he learned.

The other thing about learning and Self -realization to me...is that it is more about going to that wise guru within all of us than it is about finding someone out there to act as guru.  Nothing out there is going to heal us! Nothing out there is going to bring us closer to God. Inside game.  That being said, it is true that wise beings who have already walked the path can point us in the right direction...as Singer has done for me and countless others. 

God is truly the only real guru.  Though I might not surrender easily to someone in human form claiming to be God's messenger (or God Himself)...I will surrender to the message they deliver, if it resonates,  because I wish to surrender to God. I have to go within...not out...to do that.

All is well.

Listening to the Soul

 There comes a time in your path , your growth and your life where it is all about your freedom. You will reach a point where you will understand that nothing will feed your soul except  the soul itself.

Michael A. Singer

Heart: Hey Mind...I am hurting!

Mind:  Oh  I know Man.  This sucks! I can't believe he did that thing  we  didn't want him to do and that they didn't do the thing we  wanted them to do. I can't believe, our body did such a stupid thing! I can't believe this turned out the way it did. I can't believe life is being so unfair to "me" . Can you believe this happened?  Can you believe she said that?  I can't believe we  didn't get that thing that was going to make it all better...the thing that would make you feel so good inside. Oh you poor thing!! How you must be suffering from all that is happening.  I can't believe Life is such a nasty tease...giving us that other thing we wanted and then taking it away on us,  just when we were getting attached to it. And then it gave us  the other thing which  only fixed it in here for such a short time before not working anymore.   After all the time and effort I put in, to make it turn out the "right" way, it always goes "wrong", doesn't it?   Oh my dear, how are you doing in here with all this stuff that is bad, wrong and shouldn't be?

Heart: Like I said, I'm hurting! I am suffering in here Mind...big time!  It hurts so much Man. You gotta help me! Make me okay and quick!

Mind:  I can see you are suffering , my friend.  You know I want to make you feel better because when you feel better we both feel better.  ( Mind turns to the side a bit and whispers under its breath):.... and I can get at least  five minutes of peace from your incessant whining when I make you okay ..(turning back to Heart) So what do you want?

Heart: I  want you to help me fix it, of course, like always. Duh! You know I can't figure things out the way you can.  You are after all my voice! What do we do to make this better and for these terrible feelings to go away?  Tell me! Make me okay!!

Mind: Okay, okay! I will figure it out in a bit. I'm a bit busy right now trying to figure out the solution for the last time you came to me with your not okayness... like all of  fifteen minutes ago. 

Heart: Well hurry! I need you to figure it out ASAP ! This feeling sucks and I don't want to feel it for a second longer. Make me okay!

Mind:  Trust me, I am trying. I am just so freaking busy. Besides, I have to go back and check with the data I have stored over the years before I can come up with a solution to this problem. 

Heart: Well then go back. What are you waiting for?

Mind: Hang on...I'm going! Ummm...just a reminder...you know you have to close first, right? You can't let anymore in until I figure this out... right?

Heart: Of course! Of course!  I am not a nitwit! I am closed.

Mind: Okay.  Good, good! It is  going to take a bit of research. So you will have to hold on.  Will be back when I have something.

(A few seconds without any practical solutions  from Mind slip by. Heart is becoming increasingly restless and agitated in its discomfort!)

Heart: Helloooo! You still there?  I am smothering in here!! I need your help!! Make me okay!

Mind:  I know, I know! I'm thinking.  I'm thinking! 

A quiet voice in the  background hums softly in the sweetest of tones but neither mind or heart hear it.

Heart: Anything yet????

Mind: Yes (Mind says emerging from the depths of the past where all decision making data is stored) ..Have you tried using your inner hands to push it down in the dark where you can't see it.

Heart: Of course I tried that! That is the second thing I did after I closed.  I am not stupid. But the problem is there is absolutely no room in here anymore.  I am  full to the brim with the stuff I stuffed. I can't get anymore in. 

Mind: Hmm! What about if we get rid of that thing that tends to make you feel that way and make sure it never comes back? We will just have to bring it up to the surface so we can talk to it.

Heart: No.  I don't want to talk with that thing.  It is too scary.

Mind: Okay, then ...what if we trade this other thing in here for that out there.

Heart: No, I like this thing in me and I want to keep it.  It helps me sleep at night. It makes me feel safe.

Mind: Maybe if we try getting this other thing from out there...? 

Heart: No, we got that before and it only made it better  for a few days. It won't work this time.

Mind: Okay...what about if we do this....?

Heart: No, I don't like that.  Remember I tried something similar last week and ended up feeling worse?  No, no!  Give me something else, something I like.

Mind: Can we try this other thing then?

Heart: No! Definitely not doing that again. Terrifying!

Mind: What if we do this thing here...? 

Heart: Nope! Losing my patience Mind! 

Mind: Hmm! What about if you got that person over there to swear their undying love to you so they will be willing to do this  and be that for you, for the rest of your life. 

Heart: Hmm! Maybe....that might work. No, on second thought, I don't find that person attractive. Besides we tried this many times with many different people, remember? And each and every time they ended up doing something that made me feel bad or worse.

(Just then the voice in the background stops humming and gets louder)

Voice: Hello Heart...

Heart: (Stops and looks around, not sure where the voice is coming from)  Did you hear that? 

Mind: (pretending not to hear anything)  Let's stay on track and figure out what I can do for you. 

Voice: Oh Heartttt...I might have a solution.

Mind: ( Turning up the music in the foreground as to drown the voice out) Okay...let's see ...what if .....

Heart: Wait...wait...can't you hear that?

Mind: (Let's out a frustrated sigh!)Oh never mind that busy body.  Listen to me. I have the answers.  It doesn't know anything. It isn't even real.

Heart: Who is talking to me? (addressing the unseen voice)

Voice: Why, it is "I" my love.  "I" have many names but you may call me Soul

( Mind turns the music up even louder) 

Heart: Soul? Who are you and what do you want?

Mind ramps up the music to maximum volume... but Heart, wanting to hear this Voice, motions angrily  for mind to turn the volume down.  Mind has no choice but to obey.  

Soul: Yes, I am Soul. I want what is best for you...best for all of us.  I want us to be free of this suffering that keeps coming back in you. I have been observing you and Mind for a long time.  I have actually been trying to speak to you forever but you could not hear me over Mind's chatter.  I have a solution much, much better than minds. 

Mind: Hey! Hey! Watch it!!! I will put you back in behind that wall some quick. How did you even get out, anyway?  I put bolts on every door. 

Soul: Now Mind! You knew I was uncontainable  from the beginning .  The only thing that I needed to step out of the hiding place you stuffed me in was Heart's willingness to hear me. Looks like Heart might be willing to listen  now. 

Heart: (Turning to Mind) What? Listen to what? Who is this Soul ...Mind ...and what is going on?

Mind: Its nothing!! Absolutely no-thing. Don't listen...

Soul: Dear Heart...Mind has a hard time understanding who and what I am. It is a bit afraid of me and threatened that it will have to give up its managerial position to me. It likes being in charge. though it  was actually only  meant to be a tool to serve you, I and the body. Somehow it took charge of our life, by locking me away.

Heart: Are you saying I should be afraid of Mind?

Soul: No! No! Mind is naturally harmless and beneficial, with the intended purpose of helping us make sense of what comes  in to the body from the outside world. It also stores such data in sections of "Good", "Bad" and "Neutral". Though I do not like its way of filing information, I see that it means well.  It uses that stored data to make decisions in order to protect us and keep us safe. It is also the voice of you and I, through which we can communicate creatively.  Mind isn't "evil". It just got a little lost with all the demands placed on it and decided to take over  with the so called "problem-solving" which turned out to be more of a "problem- creation" than a problem solving. Wouldn't you say? Mind is here to help us both, but your reliance on it  gave it a bit more power than it could handle.  So it stuffed me in the background, built a wall of stuff over me and took over this life we are in. It is not doing a very good job driving . It is kind of steering our life into the ditch. That is probably why you seldom feel okay....you are driving with a maniac, hanging on for dear life.

Heart: What??? Where were you through all this reckless driving? Why did you wait until now...after so many years of suffering to make yourself known? 

Soul: Oh Dear Heart...I was always here, watching in the background behind the wall Mind built over me.  I was still able to observe everything you were going  through despite the barrier.  I just couldn't step up until you were ready...until you were fed up with Mind's way of doing things and willing to try something different.  I have always been here watching and waiting for you to be ready to hear me. 

Mind: That's Absurd!  Soul is such a liar. There is nothing back there.  Ask a scientist.

Heart: (looking towards Mind) I hear what I hear Mind. Please be quiet  so I can listen to Soul. (Turning back to address the unseen voice of Soul) What is the solution then?

Soul: The solution is freedom.

Heart: Freedom?

Mind: Don't listen to that crazy nut. There is no such thing as Freedom.  We are here to suffer and endure it the best we can.  I can help you get by and make it pretty cozy for at least a while...you know that. That Thing can't!

Heart: (continues to ignore Mind) Freedom from what...our problems? That is what I go to Mind for anyway.

Soul: No! Not freedom from your problems, challenges or pain...freedom from that which creates the problems.

Heart: I don't understand. Life causes the problems and if I free myself from Life we will be dead! 

Mind :  I told you not to listen.  That thing is crazier than a bag of hammers. 

Soul: Life and circumstances are not causing your problems.  Nothing out there can cause you to suffer...just like the solutions for your so called "problems" will never be found out there. 

Mind: That's crazy talk!!

Heart: ( ignoring Mind's attempts to interject) What creates the problems then?

Soul: Your reliance on Personal Mind.

Heart: Huh?

Soul: Like I said, Personal  Mind is not well.  It was taxed with a very challenging job and it took it all a bit too seriously.  It kind of broke under the pressure and it is not okay. But you, believing that it is okay and thinking it knows best, have until now asked  something that is not okay to solve your problems and you listened to its advice. You are beginning now to see how  that advice will get you nowhere but lost. It will give you nothing but more suffering. Right?

Heart: Maybe. But I need you explain more, please.

Soul: Mind, in its sincere desire to make you feel good, has taught you to look outside yourself for the answers.  It has convinced you that Life and all its varying circumstances is the source of your discomfort and pain ...and that external world events are responsible for your happiness or lack of.  The problem and solution  then, it taught, is out there.

Heart:  That is not the case?

Soul: No...with Mind's guidance, you have learned to prefer, judge, desire, and ended up resisting Life and what It offers. That made you  not okay inside. Instead of dealing with not being okay inside....you went around in big circles trying to find the source and solutions for your problems out there where they could never be found. Your reliance on Mind's advice, only made things worse. Mind told you that it wasn't okay that you sometimes felt less than okay inside. It promised to help you feel better  and you listened. Your resistance to feeling what you were feeling was the problem, not what was happening to you or around you. 

Heart: So Mind was not solving my problems, only making them worse.  What are you here to tell me then?

Soul:  I am here to tell you that it is is okay that you don't feel okay inside.  We don't need to fix anything out there. We just need to start with saying that it is okay that I don't feel okay inside.  Experience that feeling fully  because that is just as much a part  of Life as anything else. Unless you notice, accept and allow the not okayness...it will not be released.  It will be stuffed down on top of all that other stuff you stuffed. 

Heart: It is okay that I don't feel okay inside.  It is okay that I don't feel okay inside

Soul: Good

Mind: Oh come on...shut up already and lets get back to fixing your problems in the old way.

Heart: ( ignoring Mind) So will I ever be okay inside?

Soul: Of course you will be but becoming free involves a committed practice of stepping back and away from Mind. What you want to free yourself from is your reliance on Mind's instructions to resist what is.  If you step back to where I am, okayness will naturally arise.  The things outside do not have to change...but how you see them will. Come back with me and live from here. Don't think.  Don't analyze... just keep walking back to where I am and have always been. You will be more than okay back here where Mind cannot be.  Are you ready?

Heart: I think so but I can't see where I am going. I can't see you. I don't know what I will find there.

Soul: I understand your fear but when has avoiding  fear ever given you what you wanted. Trust me. Trust Life.  Take a step back.

Heart: I am afraid to feel all this stuff

Soul: I know...but it is okay. This stuff you have spent so much time resisting at Mind's direction was stored in pain so it will be released with some pain.  Brace yourself and keep walking back.  You can handle it! You got this.  The bigger stuff will naturally release itself once you start making your way to me,too. It was Mind that was holding stuff in you. Without Mind, those painful emotions will not stay.

Heart:  I don't know I am scared.  I am so used to Mind and maybe I should just do what we have been doing.

Mind: Yeah. Stop budding in Soul.  We were doing okay before you stepped up.

Soul; Were you? 

Heart: No we weren't Mind.  We were a mess.  I don't want to be a mess anymore. Hey Soul..make me okay?

Soul: Of course I will. Just keep walking backwards.  I am right here. You will soon know me.

Mind: (watching Heart leave to walk into the unseen arms of Soul). Ah Man...what is going to happen to me now with nobody feeding me???

You cannot feed your soul from out here...the only thing you can feed from out here is your mind. Michael A. Singer

That just came out of me after listening to:

Michael A. Singer ( May 28th, 2023) Give Up On The Old Way. https://tou.org/talks/

Desiring More

 But when from the depths of his heart,  man desires something more lasting than wealth, something more real than material power, the wave will recede. Then peace will come. joy will come, light will come.

Meher Baba ( Indian Sufi master, first half of 20th century)

Would you like the wave of distress to recede in you and in the world?  

Like all great teachers, Meher Baba, tells us that the way to get beyond suffering  is to release our desires and attachments ...to want more than just those things the external world provides.  We need to want more than material wealth, more than material power...more than anything the material world can provide. We need to want that which is not seen, only felt...what many of us call God.  When we open up to that non-material dimension...trusting that it is the intelligence beneath the unfolding of all we encounter therefore  removing all our resistance to what is....we will experience , not only the peace I ask for, but joy and light.  

I started doing Wayne Dyer's  Morning and Evening Meditations for Manifesting  again.  But now I am approaching them in a whole new way.

When I first purchased those CD's ( CD's: that is how long ago it was :)) I was going through a challenging time and desperate for some type of improvement  in my life situation.  I really wanted peace. I was still under the false ideation, however,  that it was life circumstance that was fully responsible for my distress. and that peace would only come from changing it. I believed that if I could  get from the outside world what I needed, push away what was causing the distress , or at least manipulate, fix, or change the world "out there"...I would feel better inside. 

After being introduced to The Secret, I was exploring the possibility of this manifesting thing and purchased these meditations. My intent was to manifest material wealth and power. Well to be more exact, I wanted to manifest enough wealth to get by because I found myself in an "income-less" state after having to go off work for long periods of time because of an illness my insurance would not support. And I wanted some form of personal power back after finding myself so stuck in the limitations of my body and the life that was ensuing. I was not sure about how valid this manifesting thing was.  I didn't have a lot of faith in it.  Back then, it all seemed a little "woo-woo" to me. But I was desperate enough to try anything.

So I started out asking for the minimal but was encouraged by what I was reading and studying at the time to take my "wishes" beyond that. I began to imagine manifesting more, imagining me and my family  having more than enough wealth and power. "Abundance" was my key mantra.  I envisioned...even did up vison boards and 'wishes fulfilled" powerpoints,  of me getting this weird thing going on in my body validated and supported, of getting better and well enough to be successful out here. I imagined  publishing my books, speaking to large crowds of people, living in a big home ( that someone else was happy to clean) on a beach, having my children and grandchildren and dogs running up and down the shore, travelling all over the world etc. Hmmm! And I went at those meditations hard!

Months and months went by.  Nothing happened. No diagnosis came...no support. I tried to go back to work on several occasions only to start nose planting again and then retreating home to an income less state for months and years ...going into great debt, great shame. There was no material  "abundance" or power...so I thought there was something wrong with "me" on the spiritual level. I thought these circumstances must be my "karma" and decided to suck it up. 

 It was then I was introduced to the Buddhist perspective of suffering and realized I needed to get to the root of it all.  That took me deeper on this journey, farther away from any desire for material wealth and power...I knew these things were not what I wanted and needed to end suffering...not at all...nor was my income less state and changing health the cause of my suffering.  I began to look for a direct route to freedom and peace.  Peace...not a change in circumstances... became what I asked for, my "polestar"...and that led me here, to where I am now, years later.

So as I meditate to "ahhh" and "omm" now I am not asking for material wealth and power...I am not asking for money, or for "success"...I am not asking that anything out there change to accomodate "me"...I am seeking   to manifest peace, freedom from "me" drama therefore freedom from "me", healing at the deepest level ( a level that goes way beyond the body), release of samskaras and a free flow of shakti. Peace, joy and light...I know intuitively...are in that Shakti.  Once I remove the blockages it will flow freely.

It is funny, how when I began using these meditations I would kind of just drown out the affirmations and spiritual teachings Wayne Dyer would share. They seemed to be in the way of my practice of manifesting material things.  Now...those very affirmations and teachings from Meher Baba are why I use this meditation practice.  I seek what is in those words. Hmm! This is a perfect example of the cyclic nature  of learning. Is it not?

I know I am strengthened as I seek to make Truth my personal reality. from morning meditation

When your Love for God drives away your  lust for the things of the  senses, then you will realize God. Meher Baba's teaching from Evening Part of Meditation

All is well.

Wayne Dyer (2004) Meditations for Manifesting: Morning and Evening. Hay House

Reality and the Spiritual Life

 

There is only one Life and that is the spiritual life.

Michael A. Singer

Hmm. To describe  my journey towards tapping into the essence of who I really am, I will often use the word "spiritual." Sometimes that word creates an uncomfortable idea in people's minds Maybe, an image  of bearded men siting in orange robes on a Himalayan mountain top chanting "Om" will be conjured up ... or maybe one will see  others gathered around a table  holding hands as it levitates  off the ground while they call on deceased loved ones. The connotation of the word "spiritual"  can sometimes lead people to walk away from hearing more from myself or others about this path we are on. Sometimes it even gets stuck in my own throat like a dry cracker when I try to explain it. 

I have to remind myself often that "Spiritual" , "Spirituality", "Spirit" are just words that have a host of different meanings for different people. We can't get hung up on the word! We can't get so blocked or triggered by words that we refuse to look behind them at what they are pointing to. What the word "spirit" points to is something so beyond our comprehension, it is hard to understand , let alone explain with mere words. Yet, at the same time it is so simple. It is that which is right in front of us...that which we too often do not see. 

I agree with Michael Singer.  There is only one Life...whether you call it a spiritual life, a practical life, real life or Fred...doesn't really matter. The point is, there is only one life, one reality. Spirituality, then, is reality. What is real,  is spiritual. Most of what we call life or living is just a bunch of "mental modifications".  We are often so busy living in our heads, thinking about life, that we are not living Life. We may spend our entire lives running from what is real so we can protect the unreal.  We are not experiencing "what is".  "What is", is spiritual. This moment, right here and now, cannot be anything but spiritual. If we put down our resistance of it and open up to it, we would see that.  That would be spirituality.

Spirituality is about letting go of that which prevents us from seeing and accepting, allowing and embracing the reality of each moment, the "suchness" of it.  It is about touching the essence of life with the essence of us.

What is in the way of us doing that?  The "me" is.  The "me" is unreal.  It is a compilation  of all that mind stuff we created that prevents us from experiencing directly the reality of who we are and what Life is. Without it we would be pure spiritual beings living  purely spiritual lives. 

A spiritual life then is one dedicated to removing the false layers of "me" so we can get down to the core of who we are.  The "me" desires, prefers, averts, judges, condemns, grasps, clings and pushes away what is.  Without our preferences, our attachments and aversions...without our  judgements, opinions and beliefs...there is no "me" and when there is no "me"...there is nothing covering Self. Self is pure consciousness and awareness. Self is essences and presence. Self is spirit!

Why would we want to painfully tear away all the layers of me and live differently? Because the way we are living now, pretending to be anything but spirit or spiritual, doesn't work!!! We are not actually living...just getting by, disconnected from what is real, therefore disconnected from the only Life there is.  We are not peaceful, happy, joyful or blissful, are we?  A spiritual life promises all those things. The unreal lives we are living lead us to pursue the non direct route that seldom takes us to this real experience of Life. It leads to non stop  chasing of things "out there" that might make us feel okay "in here".  It leads to pushing away reality and what it offers  becasue it triggers our lack of okayness inside. What is not okay is "me". We feed "me" and "me" gets bigger and we get even more "not okay". We get farther and farther from recognizing who we really are. We don't get any happier. We pull "me" away, on the other hand,  and what is not real about us gets smaller and smaller until all that is left is what is real. Life would be much simpler then, wouldn't it be, if we only had to deal with what is real? The spiritual Life is a simple Life.

Man I just want to be rid of all this unnecessary and unreal drama that "me" creates. It creates so much suffering! That is my reason for being on this "spiritual " path. And there is nothing "woo-woo" about that.  I do not have to talk to dead people and I do not need to renounce all my worldly desires to meditate on a mountain top, to be spiritual.  I just have to let go of the unnecessary, the unreal...and notice, allow, accept, embrace and revel in the miracle of what is real in me and in Life. 

Sigh! It is hard to explain.

All is well in my world!

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( May 25, 2023) Using Reality to Let Go of Yourself. https://tou.org/talks/

Leaving the Destination to Find Another Way to Get There

 

Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Oh the mind is a strange and twisted thing! Well, at least mine is lol. I am finding it so interesting to watch this crazy mind of mine in action. After my entry  today about desiring, I felt almost free of the need for desire. I understood, once again through my self reflection, that desire would only take me away from this moment and this moment was more than enough as it was. 

 After a nice long meditation, D. and I took the dogs for a walk in the woods.  It was an absolutely beautiful May afternoon. As we were walking, the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing and  I was looking at the world around me amazed by the absolute beauty of it all. It all seemed so perfect. Suddenly,  I began to feel so connected to the earth and the path below me that I was walking on.  This smile came over my face for no reason. I just felt so happy.  Everything in life was good just as it was.  It was a truly lovely feeling. I thought..."OMG...this is it ...this is what unconditional peace feels like...this is what I have been really looking for from all those things I was desiring. This is amazing."  I didn't want to talk with D. as we walked I just wanted to bathe in this feeling I was having. 

That is until this little voice in my head began to talk, " Wow! This is nice that you are feeling this way.  Things are turning around aren't they?  Your spiritual stuff is working.  Your manifesting a bit of that peace you always pray for.  Hmmm!  Maybe that means your life is turning around for the better.  ....Maybe this is a sign that things are going to change for you.  Maybe the kids are going to be okay.  May be the money is going to come in.  Maybe your book is going to get published after all."  I began to visualize a publisher calling me on the phone to tell me they wanted to sign me.  I was having the full out  conversation in my head... 

And suddenly "Cuttt!!".I caught myself!  I could suddenly see what I was doing. There  I was savoring the most peaceful experiences I ever had, one that had no conditions attached to it...just enjoying life exactly as it was...not needing it to be any different, not caring if  it was ...I was experiencing real peace directly!  But  I left that experience  to run after a thought based on desires for things I erroneously believed, all my life,  would bring that same  feeling to me. It was like arriving at the destination you always wanted to be at and turning around to go find another , longer way to get there, a way that would only get one lost. I was having the direct experience of peace  and I left that experience  for  thoughts about the indirect and round about way to get that experience of peace. How ironic and crazy is that? 

I quickly brought myself back to breath, to the feeling of my feet hitting the path, the sound of the wind and the feel of the warm breeze on my skin. I found that feeling again within me but it was not as intense as it was. That's okay! I now know it is in me waiting :) . Besides... the learning I received today was invaluable. I have to chuckle over just how silly this mind can be.

All is well!

Desiring?

 Desires are a direct signal that you are not okay. There is nothing holy about desires

Michael A. Singer

I have a confession to make.  Well not a "Forgive me  Father for I have sinned..." kind of confession , but more of  a... revealing that I am not as far along on this journey as I would like to be... kind of confession. I still have worldly desire.  I am still wondering what I can  grab "out there" so I feel better in here. Yep I still desire.  I still have dreams for this form and for my family that I am clinging to though I am trying to suppress them.  Suppressing them and pretending that I have evolved beyond them doesn't make the desires go away. :) I still day dream, at least once a day, about being pulled up by some redeeming thing I "do" and accomplish, or of my children being pulled up by what they "do" and "accomplish". I want us to be redeemed  to a state of social equality and approval...heck...maybe even to a state of social superiority, making all the worldly problems we are facing now with money, judgement, health and isolation go ..."poof!"... out the window! 

My desiring starts small.  I dream of a slowing down in the addictive and unhealthy patterns I am observing in those I love...small steps taken toward recovery. I dream of  my loved ones having access to the appropriate mental health services they need.  I dream of them feeling better about life and themselves. I dream about them being, at least, willing to hear what I have to say about what I am learning. I dream about them and myself  having enough income to pay off debts and get by, at least without the worry and strain many are facing now. I dream about all of us having enough mental and physical health to live a fairly decent life.  I dream about us being more peaceful. I dream about this house getting cleaned and maintained somehow.  I dream about being able to travel a bit more...to see a bit more of the world. I dream about maybe having more yoga students, more readers here, publishing another article or two. Small desires maybe...but still desires that involve a "looking out there" to make me feel better "in here". Desires that take me from the "what is" of my life. I desire freedom from suffering and I desire peace. Sigh!

When I let myself go there, I have bigger desires too!  I dream about being published and paid  for what I do. I dream about publishing a book that increases my readership. I dream about having readers that appreciate and  validate that I am providing a service, letting me know in someway that it is okay to spend my days writing!  I dream about having a little more money than what is required to get by so I can save and never have to worry about it, while having enough to give more to my loved ones and those others who need it.  I have dreams of teaching what I so want to teach and knowing that I actually am reaching people. I dream of my children taking the path I am taking towards  healing and understanding of Truth or at least getting far onto another path that will take them towards recovery. I have dreams of being able to travel once a year, being on a beach in some lovely tropical get away one year...travelling the streets of Europe another year. I have dreams of having enough money  to hire a housekeeper to do the heavy cleaning once a week  and maybe enough to do the renos that so need to be done around here.   I have dreams of being redeemed...creating something that makes others who once believed I was nothing see that I am something. I dream of happiness. Sigh!

And I can, if I permit myself, have even bigger desires! I dream about becoming a best selling author.  I dream about reaching millions with my words and having a global impact. I dream about having enough money to do the things I can only image doing now...taking the whole family on big vacations...getting them the best help possible...living in a house on a beach somewhere that I don't have to clean  and that my children and grandchildren visit often. I dream about them all finding their way and being well.  I dream  about  taking my teaching to stages all over the world, reaching large groups of people with my healthy, recovered children by my side. I dream of being full of joy and enthusiasm for life. Sigh!

So yeah...I dream and I desire worldly things. These dreams get bigger and bigger, when I allow it,  even though I know that these worldly desires are not what I really want.  I want what  I erroneously believe these desired things will bring: peace, happiness, joy and enthusiasm for life.   I want an end to suffering and possibly some peace...that is what I want at the base level. I dare not, my mind tells me, ask for too much at once but it  would be really nice, as well, if everyone around me could be happy. Seeing joy and enthusiasm for life radiating from myself and all whom I love may be a stretch right now but yeah, if I am being honest...I want that too someday ( that hope thing again) .  

So I do desire and I do dream about things changing outside of me but I also know that it is not these things that need to  come into my life in order for me to be free from suffering, at peace, happy and even joyful and enthusiastic. Though it may not be skillful or wholesome to linger in desire, suppressing desire is not the answer either. We are human, and humans have desiring minds. We are going to want and we are going to dream. 

We just need to recognize when we are desiring and come to terms with why we are dreaming. Then we have to remind ourselves that even if we get what we want, that will not change the root cause of our desiring. 

So our desiring often comes from this idea that we are lacking and not okay inside.  Desiring takes our attention away , then, from appreciating what we do have.  Maybe we are not lacking in reality? Maybe we already have more than we believe we do? I am reminded that to many, many people out there looking in at my world, I would be viewed as very fortunate.  Many might  even desire what I have.  They may desire the bits unfolding in my experience that I  feel are not enough. This life style I am living  may be more than enough for others. Infact, my life may be seen as purely abundant!To many homeless people, I have a wonderful home and it is a lot cleaner and more comfortable than where they are living right now! To many poverty stricken people scrounging for food to feed their families with,  I have an abundance of financial wealth. To many people with children who overdosed or took their own lives, my children are very healthy and well off.  To many people, living in war torn countries, I have peace. To many people living in countries where they have to pay for health care service, the services my children and I  have access to are a true blessing.  To many people living in cramped cities, the part of the world I ended up on is a beautiful vacation land in itself. To many people having to put all their energy into mere survival or to those isolated for whatever reason, I am fortunate just to be able to write and reach one reader, to teach yoga to one student.  To many people my life may be  something they dream of having? How can I, then, even see myself as lacking enough to want more? 

In order to achieve these grander dreams I must accept something that may not be wholesome in the bigger picture. It may require that this "me" gains a "special" status. Specialness means that I must have more than others; do more than others; stand out more than others etc.  It is a setting apart. from others. We desire sometimes to gain and maintain a special status through our dreaming. Do I really want to do that? Seeking a "special" status also  comes from a sense of lacking and a sense that we are not okay inside. Why are we not okay with just being ordinary?  Why  do we want to be "extraordinary"? Will that  take away our deep sense of unworthiness that often spurs on our desiring? No, it won't.   

When are we going to realize that getting what we desire is not going to make us okay inside? Our pursuit of this false idea that it will...will lead to a lot of longing, hoping, being pulled out of our moment, reality denying and eventually disappointment. 

When we catch ourselves desiring we can , instead of asking, "How can I get that which I desire?"...ask:  "Why am I desiring? Why and how am I not okay inside?" That question will pull the mind away from its longing tendency, away from its habit of running from reality and it will guide us to look inside for the solutions for our lack of okayness. 

If we become aware that we are desiring and then ask those questions, we can begin to work on  fixing what is broken inside. We can become okay inside!  That will put an end to the need for desire  We can operate from  a deeper consciousness that knows we need nothing from the outside world to be complete and whole. Peace, happiness, enthusiasm and joy  cannot be found in anything out there. They are inside us already, waiting to be discovered. 

Something to ponder.

All is well.

Michael A. singer/ Temple of the Universe ( May 23, 2023) Freeing Consciousness- The Path from Distraction to Liberation.https://tou.org/talks/

Peeling The Onion to Get to the Light

 Life is like an onion: You peel off layer after layer and then you find out there is nothing in it. 

James Huneker

If you read my entry yesterday, you may have walked away  bored to tears or at least confused. I was on a rant, I guess, trying to explain some insights I was gaining as I sat in the Seat of Witness Consciousness. It is a cool place to sit and from here things are kind of interesting and amazing, albeit...still painful. From here I am not lost in what I am experiencing...certainly  feeling and experiencing it...but disengaged somewhat. I can relax as I watch. I see what is going on around me and in me...and at the same time I am very much aware that it and this "me"  isn't who I am. I see that there is Something Greater watching and Observing.  That Observer, I am beginning to realize, is who I really am. 

Not Enlightened!

In this process of waking up, my observing tendency, doesn't mean I am enlightened...far from it.  It simply means I am on the path.  How far I get on this journey and where it will take me, I don't know. I don't even know exactly what it is I am looking for.  I don't know what is "in here" beneath it all. I just want to get beneath all this junk that is causing so much strife for "me"...that I see causing so much strife for others who are also buried under their stuff...regardless of what will be there when all the layers are peeled away. It is very much a self centered little mission at this point...

What is under the peeled away layers?

So what is this thing that is there under all the layers?  Consciousness?

The greatest mystery of the world is consciousness. It is the most important part of your being. Take every thing away and it is the thing that remains aware that it is happening. (Somewhat paraphrased).

Hmm! So I asked the question yesterday: If you peel all the layers off an onion, do you still have an onion?  What is left is "nothing", right? No- thing but empty space, what the Yogis would call Akash. What is in this Akash? Consciousness, awareness...that which we are? I don't know.

 "Onion" was just a word used to describe the form from which the Akash emerged or what was left after the form layers were peeled away.  "Me" is just a word to describe all these layers over consciousness? Is conscious Akash what is in us when we peel away the form layers of thought, beliefs, feeling, story, roles,  ego, personality and all that which lays beneath the image- and then beneath the  broken "little me" and its problems, likes and dislikes? I don't know...but I want to find out. Do you? 

Why I seek

Why do I want to find out?  Because I want to be a spiritual and fully enlightened being?  No...I honestly don't truly know what those words mean and what they entail.  They are just words.  I just want to stop suffering!  I know, now, intuitively more than conceptually, that the only way out is through.  Nothing "out there" is going to take away this suffering for me or anyone else in the world. It is an inside game. There is peace in here...I know there is! How or why I know...I can't say...I just know there is.  I have had precious glimpses of it. I know I have to get through each layer of protection, stored memory and junk , peeling one layer away at a time to get to this peace. I guess I am digging my way to Akash...though I wouldn't use that terminology. I am just breathing my way to peace. I am digging my way to Who I really am (which may be nothing more than space) beneath all this junk I stuffed on top of it. My motive is very selfish, at the same time, I know intuitively it is the least selfish thing I can do.

I know...I know.  It doesn't make a lick of sense but man oh man, I am 100 % committed to this something that doesn't make sense. 

Only Beginning

From  the below podcast, I am reminded that I am just on the first lag of this journey.  If I am still seeking what lays beneath the layers mind built around this thing I call "me" ...which Singer calls "consciousness"....I have a long way to go yet.  What we really want, he tells us, whether we know it or not, is to return to the Source of Consciousness, that many of us would call God. We take this light of consciousness that we are shining on the world around us and on our little self ( which I am doing...I am narrowing the beam of light to observe this "me" being peeled away one layer at a time...that is my focus) and we shine it on Itself. Consciousness must turn to Observe consciousness. 

Huh? How does a light shine on Itself without a mirror reflection ? I haven't figured that one out yet...lol...will get back to you.  

How?

Step One: Observe the Layers

We can start by removing our light from the distractions around us. We are told we are the light.  We are  told we are already in a state of peace ( actually in a much greater state than peace according to yogic teachings..."Sat Chit ananda") but we can not see who we are, what is there at the core of us because we are so busy being distracted by the likes and dislikes and the so called problems of this "little me" we created.  Most of us are not even aware we are "caught up" in those layers...not seeing the possibility that there may be more than this. So attention is often  caught up in the layers, in preserving them, so we don't have to experience the pain of the ones beneath. We are not doing this consciously but reactively.  We are lost in a dream.

Step Two: Question if there is more to Life than these layers.

Then we may begin to realize that there might be more to us than these layers.  Maybe Life comes around and rips  one  layer off and you are left with the sting of it but realize that you didn't stop being because that layer of "me" did.  

Step Three: Realizing that Building Layers  and Outside Protection Doesn't stop Suffering

We start to become aware that we are suffering and that building layers n top of our suffering is not the answer.  We see a certain light flickering in the direction of us and what we have been doing. We are still at this point attached to our layers and doing what we can to protect them.

Step Four: Be Willing to Have the Layers Peeled Off

Even when we realize that folly of that, like I have done, and willingly agree to have the rest of the layers pulled off...our attention, this light's focus, is still on something other than Itself. .  Me is still around...me is still causing pain and problems...even more so now that it is being so tortured by the amputation of each layer. The light shines  on the dissolving of each layer of the "me"....which is a big wonderful step forward...but it isn't finished there .

Step Five: Stop Being Distracted From The Seat of Self

 I have not realized Self yet. This light is still far from the point where it can, through "my" will,  shine on Itself and where all else is dissolved into that light.  I am far from enlightened. I still suffer and react and get lost.  I still feel the sting of layer removal and have no idea what I am going to find when all layers are removed. I just know I want them gone! I am still being distracted.

"I am being distracted from my Seat of Self.  How do I learn to not be distracted?"

Step Six: Train the mind to handle reality

Good question! Michael Singer reminds us we are capable of training our minds to handle reality.  We need to learn to handle "what is" without the pseudo protection the layers of "me" have given us which in themselves are forms of resistance.  We stop resisting Life and we start relaxing and releasing with everything She gives us.

Step Seven: Know where your light is shining

And  I believe we need to keep asking, "Where am I shining the  light of consciousness?  Am I shining it on what is real ( Life doing what Life does) or unreal ( all the mental modifications in my mind...all these unhealthy layers I may be trying to preserve)? Am I shining it on the Subject ( that which is watching) or on objects( that which is being watched)?  We cannot change the nature of the objects but we can tap into the nature of the Subject. "

Step Eight: Keep Peeling Away

I believe we need to ask, as well: "What are these layers of "little me" I have  hid this light under? Am I willing to remove this one? How does that feel?  What is that like?  What is under this layer? Am I seeing clearer? What about this layer? Am I willing to remove this one even though it might be painful and scary and I have no idea what I will find underneath it? What does that feel like? What is there under it? Can I relax and release into this underlying layer? How am I seeing now? Any clearer? " etc etc etc until each layer is removed. 

It really isn't a complicated process but when one goes to explain it, it seems so complicated. 

Anyway, once again, I am rambling.  Hope I made enough sense for someone, somewhere to get something from this.

All is well

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (May 22, 2023) Freeing Consciousness- The Path From Liberation. https://tou.org/talks/

Dying Layer By Layer

 You must die to be reborn.

Michael A. Singer

I am dying.

Well not literally but I am dying in order to be reborn.

(Though that quote is often believed to come from Jesus ...I cannot find those words anywhere in the bible.  It is true that many times Jesus talked about "dying to self" in order to be reborn into the Kingdom of Heaven and I gather it has the same meaning as above. He didn't, however,  actually use those words.)

The point is, the meaning is the same: We need to let go of all we thought we were to be what we can be. The death is the death of the ego and all its defense mechanisms. It is the death of  personality with its likes and dislikes. It is the death of  our reliance on  mind stuff, concepts and stories  that keep us stuck in the head.  It is the death of the "separate little me" focus. It is the death of hope and expectation that something in this outer world will bring us to where we want to be.   

The rebirth is the re-emergence of the True Self when the egoic me is no longer in the way. It is the releasing  of Shakti flow when all the things we stuffed on top of it are no longer blocking it. And it is  the rebirth of uncontaminated Love and joy when fear is no longer in charge,  

There truly is a death of "me"ness and a rebirth of "Oneness" in this process of awakening.  We give up the sleepy half conscious self for the fully alert and awake one. Heaven is our goal but we need to stop clinging to earthly things and old patterns of thinking and existing that just don't get us there...in order to truly be here, where we always were and never truly left.We have never left Heaven...we just built a "mental concept " of  hell around it. 

Dying is more of a scraping off of old useless  layers that we once used as protection but that were always just layers in the way, creating a hellish type of suffering. Having these layers that we once thought were a part of us...felt we needed...and under which we hid in these pseudo safety zones ...removed...stings  like the dickens. With each layer that gets peeled off we feel more and more raw and naked ( without the Fig Leaf) and more and more vulnerable. 

I heard my great niece (now seven) recalling what it felt like to have her soother taken away years before..."I felt so scared...so sad.  My throat was choked up every morning and my nose was full of the snot of my crying [her words]. I was mourning.   And though I really really wanted it back because it made me feel less afraid, I knew I couldn't grow up to be a big person with it in my mouth."

We cannot grow up to be big fully expanded human beings if we continue to cling to this false sense of security these unreal selves we created give us.  We need to let that die...so we can be reborn.

Sigh! I  am dying. And dying, isn't fun! It seems to be a slow and painful death. 

I am watching myself slowly die and I am at the point where I am standing back with my hand on my chin saying, "Wow!  This is really happening." Though it isn't a lot of fun right now, a certain "curiosity" has led me to bend over and observe a little more closely the process as it occurs. 

I wasn't always this curious and accepting. So many unhealthy  protective layers have been stripped off me by life circumstance over the last few years.  I fought and I struggled and I cried out "No!" clinging with all my might as each layer was pulled away. Pieces of "me" were being painfully amputated against "my" will.  I was angry and resistant when my professional identity , the  career I told myself was "me" and the income got pulled away. Even more ferociously, I clung and struggled to redeem the reputation I worked so tirelessly to build when it was being pulled off 'me' by  "other assumption". I fought against the reality that pulled away my "good mother"identity and this false notion  that I could fix or "save" my children from the choices they were making ( that was a big and very painful stage of dying for me...probably the biggest). There were many layers pulled away. So many of the top layers got pulled off me against my will and it took me a long time to accept that.

 As I look closer now,  I see the perfection in it all. I  can see how I actually created those top layers to protect the layers beneath them. They were not healthy...just hiding more unhealthy layers beneath them. Even more layers??!! It was the exposure of the layers beneath the surface that I was trying to avoid with all my clinging.  They were layers of redemption I built over my broken bits..but Life said "Nope!  Time for you to be reborn...so the layers on top must die to expose what is underneath. " My outer personality ...that image I built to show the world that I deserved to be here had to die first.  So layer by layer it began the process of dying. It is still dying but thanks to Life, a lot of it is already gone.  It is a strange sensation not to have those layers of "me" to hide behind anymore.  I mean, I see how "unreal" they all were, how superficial...like building a house on sand. I tried to redeem the little self by building something grand in my mind and then by projecting it outwardly.  I can see how arrogant, self righteous and self centered  this "me" was when in the layers beneath, this "me"  was so frightened and unsure. I see how it was all a show...to make me seem like something other than what I was underneath...broken. The confidence I was expressing in the socially approved roles I selected was an "act" to hide the anxiety and the sense of unworthiness that was such a part of my life . I built self-esteem because I was conditioned to believe it was a good and healthy  thing to do that and in so doing I built layers of unrealness over what is truly real. When those layers crumpled or were stripped off...I was left to face the broken me. The broken me was never real either ..and I didn't know that  until now. It was just another layer that had to be peeled off.  I am slowly working on that.

 Beneath the "broken me" there is still a lot more dying to do. I am excavating right down to my samskaras. That  is the layer I am looking at now. It is dark in here and when the light shines  on it a bit I can see it isn't pretty and easy to look at. I feel that darkness and that pain in every cell of me though I can explain none of it.  I still have the overwhelming tendency to want to pull one of those removed layers back over it.  But I don't.   I am not going to look away any more.  I am committed to this process of dying to be reborn....one layer at a time. 

I am no longer resistant to the layers being pulled off "me"by life circumstance. Though I am still scared, I say, "Bring it on!"  I am ready for all the layers to come off until there is nothing left of this "me" . I am not sure what will be there when that happens but If you pull every layer of an onion off ...do you still have an onion? I want the "me" gone so  I can get to what is underneath, if anything. I am putting myself in situations where the remaining outer surfaces will get scraped off and the inner stuff will be exposed. I mean...I am already so vulnerable in this naked, exposed state with most of my old layers gone...so most experiences are uncomfortable and samskara triggering anyway. There is still a tendency to avoid but  with a great deal of curiosity I just watch that tendency and I watch what happens when I do not avoid.  I watch myself being triggered.  I watch myself  reacting or responding. I watch the  remnants of old layers flapping around on me. I can pick up those old tendencies to hide, pretend, stuff, run etc  so quickly in me and I just watch them as I move about doing what I am doing.  I feel the stuff inside me coming to the surface and sometimes it is absolutely awful. But I experience it all. It is terrifying, depressing, exciting and amazing as I observe! Ten years ago this would have been crazy making. I would have run and hid behind any layer I could find.  Now I am committed to facing the pain. I am aware of what is happening.  I am willingly observing it, experiencing it and learning from this discomfort. I am more than willing to look at that inner stuff and release it all. I am willing to die, for the rebirth of who I truly am to occur. I have faith that it will be worth it. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( May 21, 2023) Exploring True Compassion. https://tou.org/talks/rove 

An Honest Book Review

 Criticism may not be agreeable,  but it is necessary. It It fulfills the same function as pain in the body. It calls attention to the unhealthy state of things.

Winston Churchill

Hmm! I debated about doing this, I did, but I feel compelled to give my honest review of a book I just read ( well partially read). Why do I feel I need to do so? I am really not sure.  I was greatly disappointed because this book did not meet my hopeful expectations...but that has nothing to do with the author and everything to do with "me". Expectations and hope, I have learned long ago , are just mind stuff that carry us away from "what is",  leading to more suffering in the long run. I knew this...but "my bad" for forgetting it.  

There may also be some ego stuff I am dealing with interfering in my ability to be completely objective.  I felt somewhat jealous that this person appears to be externally succeeding as an author and teacher, reaching many, when I wasn't. (I really had to work through that before coming here...I did not want something so petty leading me to project criticism, you know?) I want to be objective. I also want to be fair and kind to the author, to any potential readers and to myself. 

I was referred to this author by a friend who heard her speak about her research. After listening to this author speak, I  found myself compelled to learn more. She seemed humble, knowledgeable, intelligent and articulate, trustworthy and selflessly committed to using her "expertise" for the betterment of humanity ( she spoke about her years of service to the disadvantaged youth during and after Apartheid in South Africa).  So I rushed off to order the book, thinking it would help me to awaken a bit faster by helping me to "train my mind to change my  brain". I was very, very interested in the premise, excited and enthused to read the book. 

I picked up the book when I received it. I liked the cover: a hand scrubbing away at something and thought it was well suited to the title, "Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess". Mental mess? Isn't that what Michael A. Singer is going on about all the time?  This book, then, would be a good compliment to his teaching? I looked down at the  author's name ad I got my first intuitive pang of resistance  in my gut.  It began with Dr.  than the person's name.  I knew the person had a pHd (in something I wasn't familiar with)  and I have no problem with author's offering their credentials behind their names but it seemed "very off "to see that Dr. in  front of her name with no initials after. A certain credibility was definitely lost. Though I loved Wayne Dyer I  always sensed the ego when his books were written as "Dr Wayne Dyer." 

I pushed the feeling down. Then I excitedly began to read the book. After the first page that intuitive pang in my gut got stronger.   I couldn't get myself around the writing. It did not seem at the level of someone who probably had to write a doctoral thesis to earn a pHd...and someone who claims to have many research papers published in scientific journals...not at all.  And it made the book very, very hard to read. I reprimanded myself for being so judgmental... not everyone is able to express themselves well through written word, I told myself.  It doesn't make what is being said or taught less credible. But the more I read, the more this feeling in my gut grew in intensity.  "This doesn't seem credible!"  

The argument in the book was very vague and repeated over and over again with this promise that if we followed the five steps and bought the app we would see for ourselves what the science was supporting.  It was even proposed on many occasions that the five step approach was more effective and practical than the "fad" or "trend" of mindfulness and meditation could ever be.  That definitely added to the pain in my gut.  

I tend to be quite good at recognizing  voices...be they spoken or written...and I could also hear the author's voice in the quoted testimony's offered by so called research participants and clients throughout the chapters. I was having a very hard time with credibility.

Still I was determined to read on...maybe I would get something from the science revealed in the book. Apparently there was over thirty years of research done. I have read many, many scientific research papers on a variety of subjects over the years so I do not find it difficult to read such. I was looking forward to it.  I wanted the science to prove me and the suspicions I was having wrong. It didn't.  I found  it very, very difficult to read and make sense of the scientific research presented in two of the. chapters. I found very little valid correlation between the research done and the research conclusions made.  It seemed to be  extremely vague and assumptive, loaded with a great deal of observer bias. Extremely, extremely repetitive pointing to the conclusion that  the only possible variable for the findings was the use or lack of use of these five steps and the app that had to be bought. Sure there were diagrams offered, scales used, charts and what not, a control group and an experimental group but what was presented as evidence was so vague and could basically point to anything as the cause of the so called changes found in the experimental group compared to the control group. Maybe there was a possibility that the actual  science done  was okay and could live up to all the hype it was given...but by the way it was presented in the book, it lost all credibility to me. 

Then when I got to the chapters giving us the definition of thought and mind...it was again repetitive taking the teachings found in many ancient scriptures and turning them around in a very confusing way. Denying, as well,  the validity of some of those teachings in the name of science (a science  that really wasn't science)?   At that point...I found myself saying, "I just cannot read this. Am I the only one that is confused by this book and now distrusting of the author's intent?"   I went to the Amazon reviews to find out and after a few of the more positive  reviews,  I scroll down to the not so good reviews (there were a few) and find one review in particular that echoed what was  in my heart and mind. I was not the only one.

Because I was still in love with the premise of the book and hoping to gain something from it, I went back to the book to skim through the last few chapters to see what the  five steps were,  the essence of this so called brain changing technique: Gather, reflect, write, recheck and active reach. There is really nothing unique in this life style approach...except for the names of each step......at all.  But, I was reminded  again and again by the author ,  it was the only proven way to tap into the neuroplasticity capability of our brains. And in order to get the full benefit of this "scientifically validated" technique , one has to purchase the app. 

I fell in love with the premise of the book and totally agree that we have to clean up the mess in our minds.  That is a truth that has been passed on by teachers of ancient wisdom for centuries.  It isn't new and it isn't "rocket science".  Let me rephrase that, "It isn't neuroscience."  It is just truth...a truth that is freely offered to all.  You do not need to buy this book or this app to get there. You definitely can buy them  if you want to...it might prove to  be a valuable pointer for you taking you closer to where you need to be. By all means go for it.   I am fascinated with the science of neuroplasticity and have been reading about it for years,

The book was in essence, I am afraid,  just one long promotional sale technique to get us to buy the app. I personally feel...what it offers is not credible enough to become worth the purchase of the book, let alone the app.  

Please do not judge the book or the author ( especially not the author) based on my review. It is best we do not judge at all, right? Determine for yourself what is true or not true, okay? I am trying to be objective but I know I am not completely being so. My gut feeling is too loud and noisy.  I am judging the book, the credibility of the research and the intention behind the book.  I am criticizing in order to call attention to the unhealthy state of things...in me, in the self help movement and in egos need to succeed. I am doing my best not to judge the person the author is because I do not know her. ( That is why I am not including her name...of course, with research, you can easily find out but I will not make it easy for you) . 

I can learn from the experience of reading and reviewing this book . We can all learn from this...we can all learn from everything. And we do not need an app. We just need to observe Life and mind.

All is well.  

Some articles on neuroplasticity worth reading:

Fuchs, E & Flugges, G. (2014) Adult Neuroplasticity: Over Forty Years of Research. From: Neural Plast: 2014: 541870. Published on line: Hindawi. Retrieved on May 21, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4026979/ 

Voss, P et al ( October 4, 2017) Dynamic Brains and the Changing Rules of Plasticity: Implications for Learning and Recovery. From Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved on May 21, 2023. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01657/full

Just a Stage

 Humanness is a stage you are going through.

Michael A. Singer

You are not "just human."  Being human is just a stage...one small step in your evolution...lasting but a blink of an eye to eternity. It is just something you, as a much higher being,  are going through, a universal extension of  the terrible twos, or the teenage years , or even a mid life crisis.  Humanness is merely a stage.

Our  80 plus years (if we are blessed with that much learning potential) in these bodies and limited concept of  self is just something we are temporarily experiencing as consciousness.  They are not who we are. Our human and soul  mission, I believe, is to grow up and realize who we are. Some of us  will fly through this stage of being human like the toddler who masters potty training in a week. For others it will be like the long torment full years of acne, hormones, and the sense of never  fitting in that occurs between childhood and adulthood. It will be painful and slow. And for many, many of us, it will be like we are adults that are never able to grow up. Some of us will never grow up or wake up to the truth of who we are.  But that is what this stage down here, on planet Earth,  is all about.... learning and experiencing what it is like to be human and then transcending that humanness for who we really are.

Pretty crazy, huh? 

The Buddha taught that the highest state we can achieve in this earthly school of evolution is compassion. Compassion? Yeah compassion.  Compassion, of course goes beyond sympathy and pity for the earthly problems we all share while we are in these forms. Singer, in the below podcast, tells us true compassion is rooted in a deeper understanding of who we really are beyond these forms and the cause and effect nature that brings us to where we presently are. It is about an understanding that beyond the earthly "problems" and this made up idea of "me" and "you" ( the self), .. is the Self we never left, exactly where it is meant to be. We need to get past this facade of "self" or "me" in order to realize that truth and to truly experience compassion. 

When you get past yourself...you can live in this world with compassion.

We cannot be truly compassionate with another suffering these human woes and concerns so many of us are lost in until we realize that there really is no need for concern...that there is nothing wrong  anywhere  but in the story we created in our minds to make rudimentary  sense of why we are here. It is, only when we can get past this "little me" and its bleeding heart...that we see that all is exactly as it should be....and  this "me" or that "you"  had nothing to do with it. 

In compassion, we do not commiserate...we know better. We offer this wisdom to the suffering other

Every moment  is perfect result of all the forces that caused it to be that way....

Acceptance of that reality and the reality of what is, is a major part of compassion. Singer reminds us that it took 13.8 billion years for the moment to be exactly the way it is. How can we have a problem with it in these mere seconds it is unfolding in front us then? Because "me" stands up and resists what is! We become so super focused on the object...that which is unfolding in front of us, we forget about the subject...that which is observing. We get so caught up in little me's drama we fail to see the dramaless nature of Self. We are the subject, not the object and our mission is to redirect that light back on Self. We are simply meant to stand back as Observer and say to whatever Life offers us, "Wow!  That is so cool. It took 13.8 billion years of events happening the way they happened to become what I am observing now.What is even more cool is that which is observing and gets to experience all this!  ". 

Once we reach that understanding...there is no more suffering.  We will look out at others still suffering the torment of "little me" and without judgement or condemnation be able to sincerely say, "I see your pain . I feel your pain...but I know it doesn't have to be this way. When you are ready ...let me show you how to get past your pain." 

You want a nice life? You want to bring love into this world? Well be more understanding that  it is the way it it is because it is...things are the way they are....because of all the forces of creation that made them be that way...you had nothing to do with it. 

There is no need for renouncement in order to become fully evolved and compassionate beings. Just a willingness to look into the dark,  sometimes secretive world,   inside, searching past the humanness for the universal roots of suffering in the way of us truly experiencing who we are. Then it takes a relaxing and a releasing. Once we begin the process of  cleansing and being free...we can help others do the same in a truly compassionate way. We may just find ourselves evolving into our senior years with great wisdom, clarity and peace. .

All is well.  

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( May 21, 2023) Exploring True Compassion. https://tou.org/talks/

Edit

 Message in a Bottle 

Dripping with my truth,

the pen transcribes 

a message 

onto  crisp  paper.

In  a cursive  

awkwardly mastered,    

loops and twists 

scratch out  the  first 

of the inadequate words :

"Dear Reader..."

I  know not who this reader is

that I write this message for....

it matters not

to the being 

doing the  dictating.

Lost in the call, 

with little to no

thought of outcome,

I bleed out my learning,

my life, 

teaching, writing, sharing

until my hand is tired

and the loops and twists, 

despite their longing 

to be eloquent, 

 become exhausted 

broken symbols

that are difficult,

 to decipher. 

The message,

I must trust,

transcends the scribbling

in its clarity,

extending beyond 

the  mere page

with little help 

from "me".

Done,

 I sign a name,

comfortably  heavy 

in its obscurity, 

before  lifting 

the now inkless pen

from that which 

it so lovingly

 made contact with 

only a moment before.

I roll the paper, 

and this truth it carries, 

ceremoniously, 

 into a tight little cylinder 

before stuffing it,

into the narrow opening

of the somewhat resistant

glass bottle I have selected. 

I seal it in preparation

for its journey.

Standing on the shore line 

of eternity

I close my weary eyes 

and with breath sucked in

I swing my arm back,

 then  forward 

and with  quiet  reluctance

I  let go.

This 

message in a bottle

is pulled up and away 

from my  grasp, 

released  into 

the ocean's waiting arms.

When I feel

 the cool splash 

of its departure

on my satisfied skin, 

I know

my job is done.

What happens to those

scribbled words

 is now

out of my hands.

I may never know

where this message 

will end up. 

The waves of Life,

not me,  

will decide its fate.

Maybe,

its destiny will be forever

entwined with the ocean's,

bobbing up and down

with every crest 

and trough ,

beneath eternity's 

endless skies.

Or maybe...

 it will be guided 

by  fate's tides

 to some 

distant sandy  shore  

where it will be pulled

onto the beach

to lay quietly, 

collecting  the suns rays,

glistening  in the spectrum 

of its color, 

until it is noticed. 

Maybe ....

a passerby, 

attracted to the 

reflection of light 

coming from this 

well travelled glass container,

 will bend to pick it up.

Maybe,

 the bottle will be unsealed 

by these same curious, 

serendipity -trusting fingers,

and the paper pulled out.

Maybe....

what I have written

will be read

and maybe ....

it will be received 

with

openness and awe

while the reader gains 

even just a speck

of wisdom

from the life lessons 

I have painstakingly transcribed.

Or maybe...

 the message will lay

where it has landed,

unnoticed and unread

forever.,

And , with no eulogy or epitaph

to lift it from insignificance,

slowly buried

beneath the wind blown sands 

 it  is resting on.

I do not know where 

this message in a bottle 

will end up

or if and how

it may be received. 

That is not mine to  know.

I did what I was here to do,

I wrote

and I  let go.

I release  that 

which was never mine

back to the Source 

from which it came.

© Dale-Lynn, May, 2023

Give Self Away

 To attain to something greater than yourself, you have to be willing to give yourself away. 

Michael A. Singer 

Though I write that it doesn't matter, it is quite a curiosity as to how the readership differs according to the stats page here.  One week there is over 100 readers a day, the next there is under five. Google always has a different perspective, it seems, as to how many and from where the readers come.  Why is that, I wonder. Hmm! Anyway, it is what it is and it is all good. Not what I wanted to write about.

You must die to be reborn, 

This readership curiosity is only uncomfortable to the ego, the psyche, the "little me."

Today I would like to talk about the above from Michael A. Singer's talk.  Without calling it out, he was basically describing the message in the Kena Upanishads...one of the most beautiful and resonating verses I have ever read. I would recite it, but because discerning "me" has a preference as to what translation I find most poetic...and I cannot seem to find that translation this morning...I won't . I will let you find and  read a translation for  yourself .  Of course, going to those words and concepts is not the answer.  We must get beyond it all. We must let go of it all and we will simply fall into Self when we 

In order to go beyond yourself, you have to give up yourself. You must leave where you are now and if you let go of that, you will naturally ascend...nothing at all holds you back but you...your concepts etc....paraphrased

The journey is a journey into Self....The only time you are really going anywhere, is when consciousness pulls back  into consciousness. 

Are you going to spend your life studying the objects of consciousness or are you going to spend your life studying the nature of consciousness?

Don't find God in your mind.  Do not find God in the objects of consciousness.  Find Self by giving up self and you will find God.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of teh Universe ( May 18, 2023) Contemplating Awareness. https://tou.org/talks/

Changing the Concept of Self

...forget not that no concept of yourself will stand against the truth of what you are.  Undoing truth would be impossible. But concepts are not difficult to change. One vision, clearly seen, that does not fit the picture as it was perceived before will change the world for eyes that learn to see, because the concept of the self has changed. 

ACIM Chapter 31: VI:5:1-4

Hmm! I opened up to this today. Concepts...concepts are not truth but they often stand in the way of us knowing who and what we are. We cannot change the truth but we can change our thinking and believing. We can change the concepts and ideas we have of ourselves for the truth.  When we do that the way we see the world and everything in it will change. We can learn to see differently.

All is well. 

Message In a Bottle

 Message in a Bottle 

With a pen 

dripping with my truth,

I begin to transcribe 

a message 

onto the crisp  paper.

In  a cursive I have 

awkwardly mastered,   

I begin the note  with  

the eloquent loops and twists 

my hand and mind 

are trained to make:

"Dear Reader.."

I  know not who this reader is....

maybe many...

maybe few.,,,

maybe none...

it doesn't matter.

I will leave it at 

"Dear Reader."

Getting lost in the call, 

I bleed out my learning,

teaching, writing, sharing,

my life,

until my hand is tired

and the once beautiful  

loops and twists

 become exhausted 

broken symbols

that are difficult,

but not impossible,

 to decipher. 

Then I sign a name,

comfortably  heavy 

in its obscurity, 

before  lifting 

the now inkless pen

from that which 

it so lovingly

 made contact with 

only a moment before.

I roll the paper, 

and this truth it carries, 

ceremoniously, 

 into a tight little cylinder 

before stuffing it,

with some resistance,

into the glass bottle I have selected. 

I seal it and send it off.

Closing my eyes 

I  release this

message in a bottle

 into the universal ocean,

feeling the cool splash 

of its departure

on my satisfied skin. 

Where this message goes,

I do not need to know.

It is up to the waves of Life 

to decide its fate.

Maybe...

 it will  forever

bob up and down

with every crest 

and trough ,

blending with 

the ocean that made it. 

Or maybe...

 it will be pulled 

by tides to some 

distant sandy  shore  

where it will roll 

onto the beach

to lay quietly, 

collecting  the suns rays,

glistening  in the spectrum 

of its color, 

until it is noticed. 

Maybe ....

a passerby, 

attracted to the 

reflection of light 

coming from this 

well travelled glass container,

 will bend to pick it up.

curiously wondering 

what is inside.

Maybe....

 they will, 

with great zeal and excitement,

 unseal what I have sealed,

and pull the paper out.

Maybe....

 they will  read 

what I have written

and maybe ....

they will even be 

happier and wiser 

for doing so, 

learning from the life lessons 

I have shared.

Or maybe...

 the message will lay

where it has landed,

unnoticed and unread, 

as the wind buries it in the

sand it is resting on.

I do not know where 

this message in a bottle 

will go

and what it will do. 

I do not need to know.

I did what I was here to do.

I  let go of that 

which was never mine.

© Dale-Lynn, May, 2023

I was going to leave it at that but mind said, "No. Go back and explain!" lol I still listen to mind a bit too much .

This poem is about writing and submitting.  You probably already got that and it probably didn't need any explanation  but I gave one anyway. Writing is all about taking whatever we observed and learned from life , and  from listening to the wise eternal voice within,  and sharing it. It doesn't matter who the "Dear Reader" is...truth is we really never know. It is not up to us to know.  We are here to write, transcribe a certain learned truth before sending it away. This writing is a calling and something we may be trained to do but the real writing, and the real learning we share,  comes not from training, but from bleeding our lives out onto the page. That sometimes can get messy. It isn't about ego either...that is why there is some comfort in obscurity...the ego has not tainted anything yet when we are unknown or unrecognized.  

Then, when the message is written, it is about simply trusting that what we have written will go to where it needs to go.  Thy Will, not "my will" be done. And maybe that place is nowhere, and to no one. The process of curling the message  up, is the submission process which for me is often met with some resistance. I find it challenging to stuff what I have created into what others may  want. The bottle we stuff it in is our selected publisher or means of getting it out there. Sometimes it doesn't make it to the publisher/beach.  Sometimes the bottle is attractive enough to get the attention of readers so they actually read what we have written and sometimes the written message  just gets buried in a slush pile. Regardless once we submit or publish  like I do here, it is out of our hands.  I always feel great satisfaction when I press "send" ( for a submission) or "publish" ( here). There is a letting go and a release.  And I know, "My work is done!". 

All is well!