Impulsive Drive Towards Life or Death?

 

Find death before death finds you.

Eckhart Tolle

Though I usually never plan before hand what I will write as I sit myself down here in front of the computer, I found myself in the middle of the night  deciding what my next entry would be. I had a bit of an overwhelming encounter with my physical form.

A Long Winded Explanation About My Body's Inspiration to Wtite About Survival

I woke up for the second night in a row  with intense  but familiar lower abdominal/pelvic  pain (been having the same type of pain off and on since 2016...thought it was endometriosis) and sickness that led me running back and forth to the Bathroom all night. 

Besides that my ticker was acting up from a mini hike we did that day.  I had the usual exertional pressure in chest, dizziness,  and palpitations that I get from overexerting myself. 

If that wan't enough the pain in my underarm seemed to intensify.  It led me to put my hand to the spot for the first time in months  and I could feel something there. Though I felt  discomfort in the area for over 9 months, I refused to palpate it during the six month wait for another MRI I was given. Deciding that I wouldn't sit with fear and negativity as I waited for a system (individuals within the sytem) that seemed to be resisting my every move towards wellness for their own egoic reasons to smarten the heck up,  I made the conscious and not so conscious decision to repress, supress and deny my way through what turned out to be  7 months of waiting for a test I have yet to hear about and one I know I will not hear about unless I  begin that fight and struggle all over again.  I have no choice now...I feel something there! Sigh!

And on top of that  my joints which were getting increasingly stiff  over the last few weeks were noticeably stiff,  hot and sore everytime I got up last night.(It isn't COVID)  My mind began to spin...I had pulled a tiny black legged tick out of me in July. I put it in a pill bottle with the intention of sending it off for testing, not so much for my sake, but as a public health measure to determine if Lyme carrying ticks have finally  made it this far north. I doubted if they did...I wasn't going to go on a prophylactic antibiotic because I was just on one for a nasty UTI. I truly thought it was next to impossible for me to get Lyme Disease. So I put that out of my mind too.  Never thought much of it until I developed a large bulls eye rash in that area two weeks later.  Then it hit me...I forgot to send the tick for testing. I went to get the pill bottle and noticed that it had turned to dust. There would be no way of validating, then,  if it was carrying Borrelia. I stuffed  the "oh no" down and said I would wait to see if I got other symptoms.  Though I have been noticing increasing joint stiffness and muscle pain  especially in the hips, knees and elbows..I kept chalking it up to doing something wrong in my yoga practice.  Last night my hips, wrists, knees and hands were hot.. That's not yoga. 

I thought,"Oh my goodness...I couldn't have Lyme Disease, could I? Like really...would I have that added to everything else I can't get diagnosed? I know that Life is here to test us but this is like giving a Grade Two student the MCATS...telling them they won't get to Grade Three unless they pass them...don't you think?   A little too much? "

Or is it?

It seemed that every  physical ailment I was dealing with, denying or ignoring  decided to make itself known to me in the middle of the night. I was reminded that my physical form is undergoing some challenges.  Making me aware of these things was like it whispering to me, "I want to survive...pay attention to me...do something!" Then it dawned on me  ...all beings on this planet have this inherent biological drive to survive.  That is what unifies us. We are all being challenged in one way or another. We feel pain as a sign that survival is in jeopardy.  Our forms undergo change in order to adapt to a changing environment so we can survive. We feel pain but we also want the pain to end.  

A Writing Topic

My mind was made up:  I was going to come here today to write about the thing I thought unifies all of us, "The Unifying drive to live" and the "the unifying drive to end suffering".  Hmmm! Pretty straight forward.Great topic.

Then, as I was sitting, somehwat sloppily and negatively at the table with my tea...all I could put in me as replacement fluid...a video showed up on my desk top for me to view.  I was suddenly challenged by another idea.What we really want is not so much Life but death?

Huh?

In Transcending Limitation to Awaken, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that the evolutionary impulse that unites us is not a desire to live, but a desire to die.  

Say what crazy lady?

Sounds pretty morbid but think about it! What happens in death state or its minature form of deep sleep  is we slip awat from mind and body as pure consciousness, and are reconnected to what is real and important...to all there  really is.  We are reunited with the One Source, with our timeless ( eternal) essence.  

Deep Sleep-The Mini Death Experience

Deep sleep is a death of the ego but not of us.  We are not aware of body or "little me" in that state but neither are we 'unconscious'. We still exist as something... otherwise we wouldn't wake up. Who we really are beyond body and mind needs these 'little deaths' to remind itself of its essence.  It is driven to die for certain amounts of time every night..

When we are tired and lay down at night, we are pulled toward sleep  because of this impulse  to slip out of our form, our ego, our mind and  our body to rediscover just how formless we are.  When our bodies are a certain tired after a certain life span we are pulled toward death for the same reason. Even though we do not have the capacity to know this in conceptual sense. 

Seeking the Formless

It is reconnection with our formless, egoless essence that we seek through death.

The thing that unites us then is not this desire and drive to stay in physical form but to be reunited with the formless nature of who we are. 

The good news is we can die before we die. We can reach a state of Self-realization, a state of awareness that who we are is formless, and egoless without ever having to take our last breath. We are called constantly to that state.

Death is not the end of Self

We have this notion that death is the end of  not just form but everything. It isn't.  Death  is not necessarily an end of body. It can be just an end to our attachment to this world we created with our minds. 

 It is not an end to us. There is "eternal Life". Only form dissolves , not the essence. And our forms do not have to die before we can discover this essence of who we are.  We can in a sense die before we die and from there learn to truly live.

So I don't know what my body is doing.  I don't know how long it will last....maybe another 40 years ...maybe another 40 weeks.  I don't know.  Maybe its urgent communications with me are not there to ensure I do what I can so that  it can survive.  Maybe they are there to remind me of its adapting and  perishable nature so I find what it is truly important before I leave it. Maybe it is there to remind me that I will not be united with what we all truly want through attachment to its 'existence' but through   death, which only involves my  mental detachment from this world . 

Hmmm!

All is well. 

Eckhart Tolle ( July 3, 2020) Transcending Limitations to Awaken. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEk7SDBkiHg

Turiya

 

Do Not expect the world to make you happy.  It is not here to make you happy.  It is here to challenge you so you evolve, expand and flower.

Eckhart Tolle (Somewhat paraphrased)

I learned a new word today, thanks again to Eckhart Tolle who once again serenidiptously ( and unknowingly lol) reached into my life with a bit of wisdom when I needed it . That word is Turiya (missing an accent over the i).  I have been   studying yoga for a while and I have been fascinated by the symbol of AUM but I somehow missed that word "Turiya" which represents the forth level of  pure and whole consciousness, true awakening. 

So I decided to look a little more into it through translations of the Mandukya Upanishads which is arguably a combination of both Hindu and Buddhist teachings. 

In Turiya we have transcended the other three levels of consciousness or what verse 3 to 7 of this Upanishad refers to as Atman/Self/soul. which are: 

• Jagrt (accent over a): "waking state", outward knowing and deals with the gross body/form; external existence
• Svapna: dreaming mind, inward knowing, subtle body; consciousness
• and Susupti: the "state of deep sleep" where the underlying space of consciousness-"the knower of all", the Creator and dissolver of all things is undistracted, unmoved by the going ons of the physical world.  This is known as the causal body; bliss

The Forth state of consciousness Turiya...is complete unity with all that is that takes us beyond the external state of being, the internal state of being and any type of conceptual understanding . Here we are Self/Atman.

How this looks with the AUM symbol....(sorry ...I am no artist)

So what does all this new conceptual learning have to do with this idea of  me?  

Well besides fascinating me- I am so intrigued by this type of learning and yoga in general...it reminded me that what I am seeking...whether I get close to it or not in this life time...is Turiya.  

This idea of "me" I am becoming more and more aware...is not who I am. I still get  lost in this stream of thinking, in conceptual mind and this idea of "my life". ...when I meet up with challenging external situations. At the same time I know  I am evolving and going beyond that towards Self. That... I find is amazing and exciting.

I am beginning to see, observe, and recognize my thoughts as thoughts, rather than as me, as Tolle describes in the linked  video below.  

We often say "I think" as if thinking  is something we can control but we never say "I beat my heart"...do we?  Thoughts are like heart beats...they are involuntary. We don't have to put all that energy, then,  into trying to stop them or control them. We just have to observe and recognize them as thoughts...therefore something on the surface of who we really are. Just as I see, observe, recognize my breath as breath and my heart beat as my heart beat, I can onserve my thoughts. (I can, because of my little issue,  hear and feel almost every heart beat if I close my eyes and focus.)  

Anyway...I see that thought and circumstance are just happening.  I do not have to try to stop them or control them...I can simply watch them and see that they are not me. Who I am...who we all are at the purest level ...is deeper than that all that. 

So what that means is that I can continue with my pray, "Please take me to peace" rather than ask "please give me some peace." 

My situation does not have to change.  I do not have to try to stop teh thinking or make it more  "positive"...I just have to keep reminding myself there is a whole level of "being" underneath all this where, regardless if the mortgage gets paid or not...I will find what is really important..  Hmmm!

All is well.

B.K.S. Iyengar (2013?) Light on Pranayama. Thorsons: London, England

Manorama (2020) The Mandukya Upanishad.Sanskrit Studies https://sanskritstudies.org/mandukya-upanishad

Eckhart Tolle (June, 2020 ) Discovering Freedom Through Challenge.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgXhEImYvb4

Wikipedia The Mandukya Upanishad. Retrieved Sept 25, 2020. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandukya_Upanishad#:~:text=Aum%20as%20all%20states%20of%20consciousness,%22without%20an%20element%22%20respectively.

Praying for Abundance

 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came so that they may have life and have it more abundantly.

John 10:10 (https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/John%2010%3A10)

Sigh!!! I was thinking about lack and poverty and scarcity this morning.  I, like many, many people do, have some "financial worries". I have a deep "poverty'scarcity/lack" written in what seems to be permament marker over the white board of my consciousness. :)  

I have no idea how I am going to pay my mortgage....none! I thought I let go of that worry...gave it up...but it crept back into my awareness this morning. End of the month is approaching and I have no idea how to solve this problem in the physical world sense. Then serendipity blessed my Life again with the video below...just as if  it was on cue from a Director...it is so amazing how that happens. 

Eckhart Tolle reminded me of this passage from John.  I did some thinking on it and realized I was allowing myself to be robbed.

The thief of peace ( my big fat ego...my attachment to this idea of "me against the big bad world" ) snuck in through some window I left open and is here to steal, kill and destroy. Well...that is its intention. 

But there is something much more powerful than ego...isn't there? Christ explains how He came to offer us this reminder of  Something Greater ...this higher consciousness...God realization ...and how this , unlike the thief, ego is...will give us Life and give it to us much more abundantly. 

What is abundance?

I don't think He was talking about paying my mortgage lol...though that would be nice. He wasn't talking about filling our lives with " external world things" that may actually take us farther away from the truly abundant life rather than  closer to it.  He was talking about being abundant in the 'stuff ' that really matters...peace, joy, Love and connection to who we really are and from Whom we came. His presence in our lives and in us...is a reminder of that. 

Adding a word to my prayer

I used to pray in my desperation, "Just bring me  peace"...meaning that I was asking that my external life situations be changed so that I could have some peace.  Then I realized I forgot a word in that prayer...a tiny but so important word..."to".  

I pray now..."Please bring me to peace."  I am not asking that my life situation be changed anymore.  I am asking that I be returned Home...to that place inside me, around me...inside and around  everyone, and everything..that is so spacious, real and wise....so that I can accept the life situations from there.  

Ego can try to come in there...it can steal whatever it wants there  ..but if it can be stolen it isn't important. It isn't real.  The truly important things cannot be stolen, killed or destroyed. Ego will  realize it is just wasting its time on me. It will back off on its own accord and my life will be abundant in the things that really matter.

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle ( August ,2020) How can the power of presence help me overcome this poverty mindset?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbJHTVjKC1I 

Not Knowing

 In the not knowing, there is a deeper knowing.

Eckhart Tolle

Comfortable Not Knowing?

Most of us want to know everything about everything...sometimes we even believe we do or at least we pretend to.  Uncertainity scares us...even though it  can be the thing that takes us deeper. 

Who is reading this? I don't know.

I have no idea how the stats analytics on this blog works lol...so I have no idea how many people are reading this blog, let alone getting something from it.  Why I question:

• Yesterday I had a reported 168 readers, most of which registered as coming from Portugal.  (Yeah!!! Portugal...a place I desperately want to visit...Before walking became a challenge for me, I always dreamed of doing "The Walk" pilgrimage between Spain and Portugal.  Not sure if that is the  Walk of Saint Thomas or  The Walk of Saint Francis...anyway...I digress) So I registered 168 views but the readership on the individual blogs does not add up to 168??? So I am not sure that anyone from Portugal actually read anything. 
• I also still register "no followers" when I know for a fact I have at least a dozen. :) (I am happy with a dozen.  Grateful for that dozen).  
• The stats  show readership from all over the world which is very interesting and it is exciting to think we can connect with others so far away...makes this idea of borders and geographical distance illusionary. Then I wonder...am I actually connecting or is it some type of url hitchhiking? Am I actually getting these readers across the globe? What about the language differences...would people actually bother to read something in a different language if they have to go through the process of translating it? 
• My highest scoring entries are ones that would not entice a reader ... like "Excuse the formatting on the last entry" lol
• Only get a few comments

Don't Need to Know

So anyway ..I do not have a clue how many people are reading this and getting something from it. I am aware that people are clicking on to the site for reasons  other than reading and that is adding to stats. Ego, at one point would have needed to know...would have demanded that validation that I am being read and received well.  The part of me that guides me here every morning, however,  doesn't need it...doesn't need people to risk their privacy to comment and I do not need to see large numbers. I am really happy with ten genuine readers a day and thrilled when I get over 20. I just do the writing as I feel pulled to do and allow this Thing I can't understand take care of the details.  I am okay with that and I am okay with "not knowing".

Don't Know Much of Anything...

I actually do not know much of anything and I am beginning to find comfort in not knowing.  I do not know how many lives I am impacting here...though I do get  comments saying that I am helping a few which is wonderful...mission completed. When I started this, I told myself, if I made a difference in one life...even if that life was mine...I would have done what I set out to do. So that is all good. So I keep coming here, not knowing.

I also don't know if my other words that have yet to be published  will ever be seen, let alone help someone.   Yet, I keep writing, keep reworking things to make them better, and submitting so that they may be picked up, published and shared with the world. While I write, edit and submit... I find peace with not knowing how it will all turn out.

I don't know about my body and what is going on it or how it  will all  turn out either. I am attempting to find some peace...just letting it all go...letting Life decide.

I don't have the answers to my questions about Life and God and I may never get them until I die...but I keep asking, keep searching, finding comfort and inspiration  with the not knowing.

And as Eckhart Tolle reminded me today in his video ....I do not know who I am really. I mean...I know surface level stuff and I know what I read, listen to, learn but I do not have  the deeper Self knowing...because that cannot be known conceptually. It is beyond knowing.

So finding comfort in the not knowing is a great thing.  We just go breath by breath, step by step, and moment by moment "being"...trusting ... instead of knowing.

All good. 

Eckhart Tolle (Spetember 18, 2020) Comfortable Not Knowing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q_3RwffAz0

ACIM Continued: What is the World?

 

Forgiveness paints a picture of a world where suffering is over, loss becomes impossible and anger makes no sense. Attack is gone, and madness has an end. What suffering is now conceivable? What loss can be sustained? The world becomes a place of joy, abundance, charity and endless giving.

ACIM: Lesson 249:1:1-5

I had a hard time with the  What is Salvation?...because that word,'salvation', has a lot of conditioned connotation attached to it and it doesn't settle easily in my mind. I am hoping the next section, What is the World? ...will be easier to understand and explain. I have to remind myself and you that these are just words...only pointers to a greater understanding that cannot be explained with words. 

3. What is the World?

The first line kind of says it all, The world is false perception. The way we see the world is erroneous ...it is "wrong".  And I can use the 'right and wrong' here when I talk about this world view because that is partly what makes the world we tend to see through ego's eyes so wrong.  It is full of duality and dichotomy. So the 'world', as we see it now, is ego's world...an illusion created and limited by ego's dependency on the five senses, body borders to seperate, sin and punishment and the development of fear.  It is an illusion...a false reality created so ego can thrive...a place that locks God and love out. 

All we need to do to see the "real" world...to see "rightly"... is to change our perception..to seek what lay beyond this world ego paints for us to the truth of who we are and from Whom we came.  Forgiveness is simply a change in perception. 

Lesson 241: This holy instant is salvation come.

When we forgive the world for its illusions and see quickly in this instant...this moment, the only time there is...that we are all One...we immediately are saved.  We are home. The illusion of  suffering leaves and the truth of joy and Love emerge into our awareness.

Lesson 241: This day is God's.  It is my gift to Him.

Here we recognize that we really do not understand the world but we ask that we be led to God Who does understand it. We trust in Christ and the Holy Spirit  to take us toward home, to God. Thy Will be done.

Lesson 243: Today I will judge nothing that occurs.

This is a beautiful lesson in accepting and appreciating what is...without the need to judge or label....to put aside our dualistic tendencies that keep us caught in the illusionary world and to just allow creation to be itself.  We admit that we don't know, in conceptual terms, what is ahead of us but that truth is in us all.

Lesson 244: I am in danger nowhere in the world.

In this lesson we are taught that there is no need to be afraid or to doubt.  In the real world, so unike ego's, we are safe. It is only illusion that threatens.

Lesson 245: Your peace is with me, Father, I am safe

In lesson 245 we are reminded that God's peace is with us always and it is our duty and privilege to pass that peace onto the world.  When we share this peace we recognize who we truly are...a united Self.

Lesson 246: To love my Father is to love His son

We can not find our way to God if we have hate or vengeance in our hearts for others. We choose to love all of humanity as God wills we do.

Lesson 247: Without forgiveness I will still be blind

We will not discover the truth without forgiveness and forgiveness is merely recognizing how we have percieved wrongly.  Our brother( again...look past the masculine terminology) is not the enemy...he is a part of who we are. We see Self in our brother's eyes.

Lesson 248: Whatever suffers is not part of me.

Here we recognize that the suffering we percieve is not a part of who we really are...it is simply a mind creation, an illusion. We are Love, as is God, as is everyone.

Lesson 249: Forgiveness ends all suffering and loss

Once we see ourselves and the world for what it really is there can be no more suffering.  Right view ends suffering.  When we remove our minds from ego's traps, and return them to God's Mind...this is forgiveness and this is what ends suffering and loss.

Lesson 250: Let me not see myself as limited

When we look upon our "brother" ( another) we see ourself...our powerful, unlimited Self so attack would never be warranted.

All is well!

ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume: Workbook. Foundation For Inner Peace: Mill Valley

Walking in the Here and Now

 I have arrived; I am home

in the here; in the now.

I am solid; I am free.

In the Ultimate I dwell.

Thich Nhat Hanh, peace is every breath, pg 30.

This wonderful teacher offers these words to those seeking mindfulnes through walking meditation in his lovely little book, peace is every breath. With these words in mind, we can notice, allow and sink into the present moment with every step we take; with every breath we take. 

What does it mean?

Breathing in, stepping down: I have arrived...

The goal of mindfulness...and the goal of Life... is to be in the moment...to be.

Being is not about going anywhere or getting anywhere but in order to conceptualize what being is to a mind that is always trying to get somewhere...we can tell ourselves we have already arrived.  In truth ...we never left anywhere to get to this place.  We were already here. At least when we say those words:"I have arived"...they help to put the mind's seeking tendency and the need to go somewhere to sleep.

Breathing out, stepping down: I am home

This present moment is our home.  It is what we are truly seeking whether we know it or not. When we recite "I am"  we are focusing on everything we are and everything we need at the deepest level. We bring ourselves out of mental places and into the experience of being. Home is peace and reconnection to that deeper level of Self, of being...what we are.

Breathing in, stepping down: in the here

Right here...not 'out there' somewhere...not in the mind or some idea we have of where we ''should be"...in this step, this inhale, this place, this circumstance...no matter what it offers, on this part of the path...this place we are planting our foot down ...is the only place we can be. Here! 

Breathing out, stepping down: in the now

Right now...not in some moment up ahead or in some moment we lived before...both of which are only mental concepts ...but in this moment right now, which is really the only time there is...we step down into Life. 

Breathing in, stepping down: I am solid

In this moment we recognize our physical form ...we see there is a part of us that is physical...that is solid...our body, our thoughts, our circumstances etc. We accept this as we place our physical foot down onto the physical path.

Breathing out, stepping down: I am free

Here we acknowledge what we are beyond form; who we are beneath the body and the ego...We are Spirit...and Spirit, the formless essence, cannot be contained or limited by form.  It is free...we are free.

Breathing in and stepping down; breathing out and  stepping down : In the Ultimate I dwell

Here we acknowledge our unity with all that is...with this Ultimate  Source of everything, with God and we dwell here...we live in this moment here. We are truly  present.

Hmmm! Again my intrepretation.  You decide what those words might mean to you. 

Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. Harper One: New York

Don't Hold Your Breath As You Step Into Life

This is the most valuable moment.  Why? Because it is the only moment.

Eckhart Tolle

Hmm! The following came to me as I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's video on the present moment (see link below). 

We are always looking for the big moments up ahead aren't we? We overvalue that moment up there (in our heads only) and devalue the present moment we can actually experience.  We do not see that life isn't just about the big moments, or the future ( which can only be a mental projection...never real) ...infact most of life is about the little moments we overlook: 

• Sitting at the table in the morning, while the sun is streaming in and sipping on hot tea, feeling the cup warming the palms of the hand, tasting the tea, experiencing the swallowing of it, the warmth in the belly.
• Taking a shower, feeling the streams of water on parts of the body that are seldom exposed, the smell of shampoo or soap, the relaxing heat, the sound of water hitting the tub
• Washing dishes in the sink , listening to the gentle clanging, feeling the warm bubbly water on the hands, the appearance of the plate or cup, or fork emerging from the water covered in bubbles. The gentle wiping of it, rinsing, putting it down gently
• Talking to someone...or should I say listening.  Just watching them as they talk, the expression on their face, the look in their eyes, the sound of their voice, the emotion in it...paying attention to the content of that speech, more importantly attempting to see beyond it as we ask, "What does this person really want me to hear?" Feeling whatever emotion that arises in us as we listen and feeling  the connection...knowing that whatever is in them, beyond all the apparent differences, is in us. 
• Throwing the stick for the dog.  Feeling it leaving the hand and the muscles in the arm and shoulder, that just performed the task, beginning to relax again. Watching the dog run so excitedly toward the stick, catching it and bringing it back, tail happily wagging as she drops it at your feet for you to throw it again. How intent and in the moment she is.  The feel of her fur as you bend to pat her head and how she responds. (If she is like my dog...she will back away from the hand so that she or I don't lose focus on what is really important...throwing that stick!) 
• Just sitting or walking in nature...feeling the sun on your face, hearing the breeze through poplar leaves and the sounds and smells of life around you...looking up at the sky...be it cloudy or clear and seeing the vastness of it...

I could go on and on here...The point is: This is life.  This is what I am truly learning life is all about:  a series of small ordinary moments.  

Too often, much too often, we fail to notice and fully experience these moments because we are intensely trying to get something "done", to reach another moment up there.  We don't have time for these small moments in our endless quest for bigger and better moments up ahead.  We measure our lives by all the big moments we are attempting to be apart of, the reaching of goals, achievements and destinations and we tramp on, trod over and smother all the real moments on the way to getting there. Sadly, we often look at the moments on the way as being in the way. Wow!

Once we start becoming more mindful, we become more appreciative of the journey than we do of the destination. 

Hmm! This came out. Like my entries, my videos, most things I do... it is far from perfect...but it is real.  :) 

All is well!

don't hold your breath

don't hold your breath and wait for glory

as you take the first step to the end of  story 

don't overlook, ignore, trod over  or smother 

this tiny step you take now toward the other

it is in the space between point A and B

that you must awaken and learn to see

that this is your life, right here, right now

embrace this step, accept, allow

put aside your wish  for this moment to leave

place your foot gently, then gratefully  breathe

© Dale-Lyn (Pen) September, 2020

Eckhart Tolle (June, 2020) Being at Peace/The Present Moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-HWfAZlAbI

ACIM Lessons Continued: What is Salvation?

We are one, united in this light and one with You, at peace with all creation and ourselves. 

ACIM-W-Part II:2:239:2:3

My Bad: I meant to be done the entire workbook by now but have not looked at the lessons since July 28th.  I tell myself there is some reason for that I may never be able to understand with my limited little mind.  Andersen's book landed on my lap, as well as Tara Brach's, Rubert Spiro's, and Jon Kabat-Zinn's.   All exactly when they were supposed to. 

So here we go:

Part II : 2. What is Salvation?

Salvation is simply remembering who we really are.  We tame the mind when we see beyond it to what is; when we realize we are all part of the One Mind; that there never was such a thing as seperation; when we realize the only time there is is 'now",  and when we are able to replace the the thought of conflict with the Thought of peace.

Lesson 231: Father, I will but to remember You

What we truly seek is not the many things 'out there' but reconnection to and renewed awareness of the Love of God.  We seek that Love which will set us free.  We too often are unconscious and confused seeking a myriad of things with different names but in truth what we are seeking in these things is that which cannot be neamed... the Love of God.

Lesson 232: Be in my mind, my Father,through the day.

This lesson appeals to us to have Faith and trust in God as we pray to Him to be in our minds throughout the day and night.  We pray that we are constantly reminded and grateful of God's presence in our life, His Love and protection.

Lesson 233: I give my life to God to guide today

Here we vow to  give up our life to God's guidance and Will.  We trust in His thought not our own. We let go of our futile goals to find what we are looking for 'out there' when what we really want is in the One who Guides.  We pledge to follow, even when we cannot comprehend the Way He works and to trust in that Love He offers.

Lesson 234: Father, today I am Your son again

We anticipate the Holy Instant that allows us to see that the Peace of God and the safety and blessing provided to us did not leave us...it was always with us and that the memory Of God, we will never lose. We realize with this awareness that we are saved.

Lesson 235: God in His mercy wills that I be saved

We see in this lesson that God wills we be saved...and by saved we simply realize the illusion of sin and ego...how suffering disappears when we see clearly the truth that God wills us  Love and peace, not punishment for the illusion of sin. 

Lesson 236: I rule my mind, which I alone must rule.

This lesson is about the mind and how we are the ones that rule it.  Instead of allowing ego to take the reins, we can instead give those reins to the Holy Spirit so that we serve , doing God's will instead of ego's.  We can go beyond the thinking ego is trying to convince us is our reality to the truth. Instead of getting lost in ego's thinking...we go to stillness and silence and open ourselves to God's Thoughts.

Lesson 237: Now would I be as God created me

Here we announce that we know who we really are.  We accept that truth of Self and we share that truth with the world through our acceptance of it. We come to God through Christ.

Lesson 238: On my decision all salvation rests

Reminded of how we are united with all as one Self, and therefore how our salvation will lead to the salvation of all, we are also reminded of our worthiness for this task, how God loves and trusts us.

Lesson 239: The glory of my Father is my own

We are asked in this lesson to denounce our false humility and to be thankful for the gift of glory God has given us...for the light [of unity] that shines forever in us.

Lesson 240: Fear is not justified in any form

In the final lesson in this section we are told that fear is not justified because it is only a deception. When we fear we are attesting that we are seeing ourselves in a way we could never be and seeing a world that is impossible.  How foolish are our fears!

In Other Words:

Okay these are beautiful lessons with beautiful messages ...whether you are Christian or not; whether you are Christian and see ACIM as a blasphemous take on Christianity or not; whether you see it all as new age woo-woo nonsense or not...the underlying message resonates with a knowing  that is familiar.  This knowing is one that goes beyond conceptual knowledge and conditioning...beyond what we were taught to believe and perceive and what we have learned or chosen to believe or perceive over our life times.  Though this message is spoken with terminology that may be comforting to some, off-putting to others...the message is simple, universal and healing. It is not meant to please your ego.  It is meant to awaken your spirit. The message is Love.

Huh? 

We really need to get beyond words at some point...beyond concepts and ideas that seperate and support our egos to determine the One  truth...that is the background of most true teachings. All these teachings, whether it is from ACIM, more traditional Christianity (and its many, many different sects), Buddhism, Hinduism,  Islam, other religions, science, philosophy, psychology, allopathic medicine or some other field of thought.... point to a knowing that cannot be taught, only remembered. 

Too often we get stuck in the field of thought and cannot see beyond it.  Many of us, personally or collectively, are so busy trying to protect and support our ideations, terms, words and convictions that we don't even look to see what the teacher or teachings we follow  are pointing   to. For example, in Christianity, we may get stuck on building up, supporting and protecting our version of  Christ and the words He used as the messenger, creating different , seperate sects of belief  under the title of Christianity...In each sect we may be so convinced that our way of believing is right, and all other ways are wrong , using "The Word" as our weapon..."Salvation" is such a word. We may get so caught up on determining who gets saved, when they get saved, how they get saved , from what they are being saved...that we fail to see what salvation really is.

So we do need to get beyond the different intrepretation of words, the different ideas ...to the truth that we are being pointed to.  

We are being taught, in one way or another, over and over agian...that we are more than this!

We are more than this body, this personality, the things we do, the things we have, the way we think or feel.  All that is just a superficial and flimsy front over the space of what we really are.  We are not the foreground of form...we are the background of  formlessness. When we see this...when we know this...when we reconnect to the awareness, the essence of Love we have been erronously searching for "out there"...guess what?  We will be saved. 

Salvation is About Remembering

So many teachings point to this one truth: we are saved when we remember who we are and from Whom we came.  We are saved when we see that in our true essence we are all One...a part of and operating with One Mind...what Andersen referred to as the  "Universal Subconcious Mind"...other fields of thought may call it Tao, or Self...Atman, Budha Nature...The field...and A Course calls it "God's Mind" "God's Will". 

What we are saved from...is the fog, illusion and dream like state we are in when we operate under ego, when we believe everything our thinking  is telling us. Basically...salvation comes when we see beyond the  seperate mind and reconnect to the One Mind.

Hmm! Well that is my intrepretation of an intrepretation. Knowing truth cannot be explained or reduced to words. It is the words and individual intrepretations that often block the knowing. 

All is well!

ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles; Combined Edition-Workbook. Foundations of Inner Peace: Mill Valley

Typos

 Excuse the typos on the recent entries.  The spell checker isn't working...and I miss it lol. I am a self taught typist, typing very quickly to keep up with the thoughts in my head, on a key board that has many letters worn off the keys .  For some reason...my tapping fingers prefer to put the e before the h in "the" , the e before the i in words like "experience".  And there is a host of many other typos you will be able to find.  I try to eventually get back to them but for now please excuse them if you notice.

Watch What you Are Telling Yourself about What Is

 

Watch what you tell yourself.  You are likely to believe it.

Russ Kyle (https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-is-positive-self-talk/)

Hmmm! There is one gaurantee in Life that you can always depend on...there will always be something that will go "wrong".  That is if you think in terms of right and wrong.   Life is going to be challenging...there is no escaping that.  No matter what  expectations you have flittering around in your head about how life "should" be....Life won't be able to meet all of them the way you think it "should".  

Most of us got it all wrong...we spend all this time, energy and effort into trying to make Life different so it meets our expectations...only to find that it seldom does...and even when it does...something always tends to go "wrong" eventually. We get angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious and depressed because Life cannot keep up with these expectations of what is "good", "right" and "pleasant". 

Let's face it...we can't change what is ...but we can do something with those expectations of ours.  

1. Take that "should" and chop it up into pieces, burn it into ash or throw it in the compost heap where it belongs! "Should"  is "crap"! I have come to see it as the most peace destructive word in the English language. Things, circumstance, other people "should" not be a certain way.  They simply are what they are! When we place a should on something we allow ego to take the reins of our lives and provide some false evidence about why we should be anything but peaceful.  "He should treat me better." "She should do this or that, be this or that." "It should not be raining."  "This should not be happening."  "Should" creates a certain expectation that can never be met by Life. People are imperfect in their realness and often will never meet our unreal expectaions of them. And  Life is only able to do what Life does. 
2. Notice and allow the "isness" to be what it is without adding to it.  Replace that "should" with...it is what it is. Make that your mantra.
3. Go without the judgment or interpretation  of what is happening. Remember this famous line from Shakespeare's Hamlet : Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. Avoid the "right" or "wrong", the "good" or "bad" discrimination  here.  Remove teh adjectives. It just is what it is! Look at the experience through neutral, non judging eyes.
4. Seperate the experience from the mental commentary. Stop telling yourself a story.  Stop narrating every experience that comes your way. Or at least be aware of your tendency to do that. Just try, as Eckhart Tolle suggests, removing the story from your experience.  So you stubbed you toe and it hurts like the dickens.  That is the what is of your experience.  Now watch yourself here...notice...if you are adding anything to that sudden bout of physical pain. Are you jumping around cursing and swearing at whomever left that piece of furniture in the middle of the floor?  Are you saying things like, "Oh, I am so stupid.  " or "See...life is out to get me!" or "Why is life always doing things to cause me pain?" If you are like the majority of us frequent toe stubbers, you are likely saying to yourself or others, in one way or another, "This should not be!" Be aware of that...notice what the pain is like on its own and what it is like with the narrative attached to it. The pain is enough, right? Why add to that the story, the mental resistance when it only makes the pain expereince ten times worse.  We go from experiencing the challenges of life, which are there to make us grow and evolve, to full blown and unnecessary suffering, all because we added a story to it.
5. Live, honor and appreciate the present moment for being exactly what it is regardless of what is in it.  Stop making an enemy of it...learn to simply be in it.  So...in this moment  as you are frantically trying to finish some task, you  get  a headache...Instead of automatically going to "This shouldn't be happening.  Why are these things always happening to me.  I can't take this! I can't deal with this now. I want this moment to be over!" Simply allow this moment to be what it is...a moment with a headache in it.  Breathe! Accept that you have a headcahe, experience it a bit without resistance...decide if there is some action you can take and take it without drama or story.  Get yourself some Advil if need be. Then take it a step further. Say to this moment Life offers you, "Thanks for everything.  I have no complaints what so ever." And mean it...after all...regardless of what is in it, each moment is a gift.
6. Notice what you feel, what you tap into from this place of acceptance of what is. Notice the presence, the spaciousness within you.  Notice how the "otherness of the other" disappears.  Notice the peace that was once hiding  under all that unnecessary drama emerge into your awareness.

Hmm! This is a practice, I believe,  that could make our lives a lot more peaceful! 

All is well.

Eckhart Tolle (May 2020) Opinions are Distractions in our Minds/ Awaken from Self-Talk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzA2YyRs8XA

Karma: Ego's Echo

 The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.

Frederick Beuchner (https://everydaypower.com/karma-quotes/)

I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I am caught in a big karmic loop and it aint pretty.

What is Karma anyway?  I liked Eckhart Tolle's definition in the video linked below. Karma is just the echo of our own conditioning.  Hmmm!

To understand Karma, we need to first understand the entity that creates it.  No, not God...our puny little minds.

The Ego

We all have these voices, these teachings, these memories and interpretations, these thoughts, beliefs and judgements   from our past stuck in us..They gather  and clump together forming a new growth that threatens to take over our very lives and does.  It  becomes a malignant personification, an ego entity...a thing that seems to have become something in itself, to have a life of its own and like a malignant tumour  it grows and grows.  

For many of us it is a very dense and heavy thing we have a hard time seeing through.  It covers up who we really are and it is the self we show the world.  It is the thing we tend to see when we look in the mirror as "me".  We become convinced of its solidity, its reality.  We truly believe that it is us and we are it.That there is nothing more than it and what it allows us to see.

What Tolle Refers to as the Pain Body

And for many of us it can be a nasty, nasty thing...dark and negative, hostile and seething like a volcano that could erupt at any time. It gets stronger by joining up with other entities like it, creating a collective force.  It is also a thing that suffers and makes others suffer.  It is, in fact the thing that is responsible for all the suffering in the world, all the violence, the hatred, the fear, the desperation, the lonliness, the illness and despair. It appears to be very, very  powerful and getting more so everyday!

Feeding It

We allow it to scream.  We allow it to temper tantrum.  We allow it to create a drama filled mess wherever it goes...by feeding it.  We feed it constantly with our beleif in it.  We feed it constantly with our unconsciousness...our inability or our refusal to look beyond it. We feed it constantly by seeing only its negative malignancy in self, others and by not being able to ( or refusing to) look at the glory and the good that exists beyond it.  We feed it with our judgements, our view points, our ideolgy. We feed it with this conviction that body lines seperate. We feed it with our refusal to accept life as it is (remember...pain is one thing...a necessary part of life...suffering, however,  is another). We feed it when we believe it, listen to it and follow its directions to react, defend, struggle agianst, resist or attack  any idea or holder of an idea that dimishes it, especially the idea that we may be more than it. 

Ego's Echo

When we do react, resist, struggle against the moment we are in...it gets stronger, we get weaker. Our worlds become limited, dark, unfriendly, punitive.  This is Karma: ego's echo.  The more we feed ego, the stronger it gets and the more it demands...it  screams for more, demands more and will lay down on the floors of our lives if we do not give it what it wants, making a scene. This egoic conditioning is echoed off the invisible walls around us and comes back to us in negative or chaotic circumstance.  We add teh element of suffering to the  necessary curves of life. We react; others react; ego clashes against ego. Ego creates a mess as if to say, "See! I told you it was this way!"

And we just keep feeding it and believing in it and doing what it tells us to do. It seems to be  easier to feed ego than it is, for some reason, to see the illusionary nature of it. To see that we, in a sense, are causing our own suffering...our own Karma.

Breaking Up With Ego

Ego is an abusive lover...seeking only to keep itself strong by making us weak and limited, victims to its unpredicatble nature. It wants us weak.  It wants us totally dependent on it.  It does not want us to see who we could be without it...what life could be without it.  So it is constantly screaming for us to follow our thoughts, to depend only on what we can pick up with the five senses as our reality...to see the world the way it wants us to see it. To avoid...at all costs...the deeper awareness that comes with presence. For presence, it knows, will make it seen for what it is.  In that awareness, ego will simply evaporate as the nothing it is. 

It seems so solid, so real. 

Yet it is nothing, nothing more than smoke and mirrors, an illusion, a creation of our minds.  Therefore all that it creates in the world, all that we expereince in terms of circumstance and suffering is nothing more than an echo of its screaming and temper tantruming. We need to stop feeding it and seek instead the awareness , the truth of who we really are.

Karma Guides Us Inward

Sometimes it takes this karmic suffering...be it personal or collective...to make us see how ego isn't real, how we are allowing it to rule our lives.  When we see this...then we may be willing to go deeper and discover who we are without ego and what life can be like from an egoless perspective.

Hmmm! Something to think about. 

All is well!

Eckhart Tolle (May 2020 ) Futility of Egoic Reaction and Navigating Our Awakening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9DCVEwd6Lw

We Are Just Acting

 All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.

William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII

Hmm! How bang on was Jacques' statement here? I thought about that today as I istened to Eckhart Tolle.  He brought up this famous line in his discussion on disguises...on how Life/Universal Mind...what I refer to as God... disquises itself in many forms. (see video link below).  Everything of form is an expression of God in a different disquise.

Just a Disquise

Each human is an expression of God, a player on this stage we call Life. We are all wearing costumes and heavy make up: our bodies and personas, as we play our parts here: our roles, our doings and creation of outward appearances.  But they are just that...disguises we are wearing and roles we are playing.  These things we have come to believe are us, what we have come to see as "others'...are just that...disquises.  Too often we are so convinced the  disquise is real that we do not see beyond it  to who we really are...expressions of divine Intelligence. One intelligence...many forms...entering and exiting, playing seven acts from birth to death.

Getting Lost in Character

We are just acting under the most brilliant of direction. What is created seems so real  that we get lost in character and foregt all about the script writer and lose touch with that gentle direction as if we can now control the way the play turns out.  We lose touch with who we really are beyond the costume and the makeup. We do not see beyond the disquises in others either. If they are playing the part of the villian...we see them as the villian and defend or attack accordingly. If they are playing the part of a loved one, we will claim and cling. 

Reminder: We Are Just Acting

We are here to enjoy the role without getting lost in it, without believing it is all real. We have to remember that we are just acting...just playing a part and wearing a disquise.  Who we are is much grander, much more spacious and beautiful than any mask or robe we can cover ourselves in. There are no villians and opponents; no special lovers and friends.  There is just One United Self flowing through everything.  

Play the game...play your part, enjoy it but seek to see through what appears to be ...to what is. See through the disquise in self and others to find that truth that makes the need for mask, make up or costume obselete.

United Under the Supreme Director's Command

We are not seperate in anything but this play.  In truth we are One and our seemingly seperate  bodies and egos are simply disguises we  wear while we act on this stage which is only the superficial platform of our existence.  Life is so much more than this stage and  we are so much more than the seperate  parts we are playing. We are all united under the Supreme Director's command. See through the disguise to the truth!

Hmmm! 

Some Correlating Ideas from the Bible

For as in One body we have many members, and the members don't all have the same function, so we , though many, are one  in body in Christ,and individually members one of another. Romans 12:4-5 ESV 

Or do you know that your body is the temple for the Holy Spirit within you? You are not your own...1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me,when as of yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:15-16 ESV

Some Correlating Ideas from Andersen

Other people see me not; they see but my body. It is only I who know myself, and this knowledge returns, to me in my health and in the things of my life. Location 4076

Some invisible thinker merely uses the brain as a central reception station for sensory perception. Someone, something, is dwelling in your body, peering through the windows of your eyes, listening at the portals of your ears, using your brain to receive impressions. Invisible, hidden, gowned with your particular form but an instant in the eternity of its being, it uses your body as an idea, then discards it and departs to whence it came. This is immortal Self. Location 4230

I am not body; I am not Conscious Mind; I am not ego. I am sense of Self only, consciousness, awareness, unadulterated being. The presence that animates all life is within me, is altogether the real me. I am using my body for a purpose, as an expression of an idea, and when the idea in fully expressed, through mywork and my mission, I shall return again to unity with universal Self, leaving body and ego behind. I do not confuse my body and my ego with what I truly am. My body in simply an instrument for my expression, and my ego is simply memory of physical experience.Location 4351

Some Correlating Ideas from ACIM 

I am not a body. I am free. I hear the Voice that God has given me, and it is only this my mind obeys. ACIM-W-Lesson 199:8:7-9

All is well in my world!

References

ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Workbook. Foundatins for Inner Peace

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition. 

Eckhart Tolle (September 10, 2020) Looking Through the Disguise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKQrPuRpW8w

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139&version=ESV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A1-21&version=ESV

. 

Awkward Stream and Trusting the Great Power

 Man is spirit, clearly and without dispute. Man is the essence of the mighty intelligence that guides and controls the universe. Man lives in this intelligence; he is a part of it and the whole of it. He is as small as his temporal life and as great as his spiritual life, for the intelligence from which he comes is greater than all, greater than the far reaches of space, greater than the power that holds the planets in their courses. (Location 33)

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition. 

Hmmm! I have hit a bit of an emotional bump as I, the convulted stream being taken to an ocean I cannot see, know or fully understand, flow awkwardly, crashing into one jagged peice of shore to the next. 

A Craggy  Shoreline

It is not that things have gotten "worse" or "better" in my life. It is still the same craggy shoreline it has always been, with circumstance occassionally  jutting out to cut into me...then retreating to offer sweet peace and relief...before jutting out again. It is not smooth! But that is just Life operating with an Intelligence far greater than my own.  There are many, many fractal shapes to my existence created by one simple formula. Though bumpy it is a sure and steady stream.

Life is taking me, albeit not so gently, to where I need to be...but I am once again resisting. I have allowed my mind to ruffle up the waters, speed up the currents, create rapids  and eddies  I am getting stuck in.  I am struggling! I am fighting the current and I am exhausted as a result.  I feel it in my body...I have been unwell the last few days. I feel it in my response to the circumstances, the suffering I see,  the words spoken by others and the dreams I have at night.  Things seem dark as the painful experiences keep pushing against me. My eyes are not always seeing the beauty that surrounds me. My thoughts are heading towards the negative. As a result, I have this urge to stop swimming and to just sink to the bottom.  I am tired!!! 

Stop Fighting! Relax Into It!

Then it dawns on me.  That is exactly what I am meant to do. Stop swimming against the current I created with my mind.  Stop struggling! Stop fightig it! I won't sink.  I will be saved.  I remember the wise words told to my raft mates and I by our river guide on a white water trip years ago...."If you fall in...don't fight that which you cannot beat! Just lay back...put you feet up and allow the river to take you. Trust it and relax into it!"

Hmmm!

I just need to lay back into the arms of Self...of the Life it is expressing...and trust that it will take me to where I am meant to be.  My expereince of exhaustion, darkness, feeling overwhelmned is just another sharp jagged peice of the shoreline I must flow through.  It is not causing the current.  I am. The current I feel I am swimming against...is just a mental concept...nothing more. I don't have to fight it.  I just need to surrender, trusting that this stream will take me to where I need to be. The perception of "rough water"  will disappear with the conviction,  "it is what it is and it is all okay!" 

I close my eyes and I lay back. I do my best to trust and relax into what is! 

All is well!

Student First; Teacher Second

 The question is not whether you will teach, for in that there is no choice....You cannot give to someone else, but only to yourself, and this you learn through teaching...Teaching is but a call to witnesses to attest to what you believe...Any situation must be to you a chance to teach others what you are, and what they are to you.

ACIM-M-Introduction: 2

Disclaimer: Not An Expert!

I want to begin by reminding you that I know nothing...okay. I am just writing what comes to me as I learn, as I read and as I grow into this new understanding of things. I do this to learn, just as much,  if not more so, than I do it to share. 

I am not an expert.  As you can surely tell, I am far, far from enlightened (again ...erronously using that distance analogy to explain this process) .  Of course, the imperfection of what I express here shows just how unevolved I am.  :) And now that the spell checker on this site is not working and  my words are reduced to typos for the mistake counter...one will see how absolutely imperfect and "underdeveloped" I am as a writer, teacher, student and human being.  

I am okay with that...this what I do here has little to do with my ego. (Or at least I don't want it to).  It is about the lessons  only.

Both Teacher and Student

I feel so compelled to share what I learn, as imperfectly as I learn it. What I learn from reading, listening, watching and most of all going inward comes out here. This platform is both  the white board in a classroom, like the one I scribbled my notes on when I taught (scribbled being the key word),   and at the same time it is the notebook on which the student takes notes. I am the student who constantly has her hand up, annoying the teacher to no end, and I am the teacher who constantly repeats to herself, "There is no such thing as a useless question. There is no such thing as a useless question":) 

I have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the cuirriculum design and very little input in the learning materials that landed on my desk. All I did was sign up for the courses: Starting with  the introducutory level course for new students, "How do I cope with this crapload of stuff life gave me? , then "What is really important 101? " and the post grad  course, "Like Who am I really?"  Then I went to class and I listened and I studied what showed up as it showed up. Whatever book I opened, video I listened to, expereince I had or any insight that came up...all seemed to be perfectly timed and ordered  in a perfect design. (Didn't think that at the time each thing showed up...let me tell ya...but as I look back I can see how it all fit together.)  

I questioned...a lot! I waited for the answers to come. I got tested consistently throughout the learning.  I passed some tests.  I failed others and had to do them over.  Sometimes the learning/teaching got to be too much to take...so I skipped class or called in sick.  But for some reason, the pull to master this learning was soooo strong...it kept bringing me back to the desk, and back to the front of the classroom to do my thing. 

It isn't me

When I taught in a front of a classroom...I felt like I was in the zone...you know...it just came out of me.  When I write poetry (and sometimes my other writing)  ...same thing...and when I come here...everything I am learning just comes out.  I realize what I think of as "me" is only the cannister of a pen...not the ink within it.  It is the ink that does the writing and the teaching, not "me'.  

Anyway...  I do intend to get on with Andersen's book and to finish the ACIM lessons but things showed up on my desk/lesson plan that I had to take care of first.  It is all good...even if it, as of yet, doesn't make sense.  It will. As I used to remind my students when I physically taught...be patient...the peices will all go together soon enough and it will all make sense then. Trust the process.

Hmmm!

All is well in my world.

Random Roughness or Order?

Your most effecient way of acting, learning, changing, growing and recharging will often seem chaotic until it is completed. But just because you can't see what the puzzle pieces in your life are pointing you to yet, doesn't mean there isn't a shape they are destined for. 
Rachel, Blog: Evolving Connection

Random and Ineffecient? 

Rough and Chaotic? 

What I learned about Fractal Geometry?

I can just hear all the friends and teachers who, with great frustration helped me to get through high school math deacdes ago,  saying, "You?  You actually learned something about geometry? How can that be?"


Yes...yes I learned that the basic blocks of the universe are simple, self-similar patterns that repeat themselves into infinity. It follows the simple formula Z=z2( as in squared)+C. And to boot...I actually know what that means!!! (well not the math part). I can relate it to life. Pretty impressive huh?

There is an Order, a Design and a Pattern

The universe that looks so chaotic and complex, or what Mendelbrot himself referred to as "roughness"  actually isn't all that mixed up.  There is actually a design, a simple repeating pattern to all that exists.  In 1980 Mandelbrot prooved that in  his experiments  on computers at IBM, creating beautiful eloquant designs of repeating shapes by using the simple formula above, inputing numbers of roughness on the plane rather than on the line. Each piece in the shapes created repeated itself, identical to the whole but smaller.

Bottomless Wonders

Good example of which, that occurs in the real world, would be a cauliflower...break away one piece of the cauliflower and it is just like the  whole cauliflower, one piece of that...again the cauliflower shape but smaller.  Take a piece off of that and there again the cauliflower but even smaller.  He called this pheneomena the "Bottomless wonder" because it seemed to go to infinitity.  The pieces in this equation either get smmaler and smaller or larger and larger until we cannot see them but still...they exist.  They never stop repeating.


Now, this repeating pattern seems "rough" and chaotic for sure when we look out at a craggy mountain scape or the coast line of an ocean.  That makes it very challenging to meausre it in traditional ways but if we measure it according to its practical roughness: D...than it changes everything.

Intelligent Use of Energy

Just because it looks chaotic doesn't mean there isn't some intelligent design to it.  There is a purpose to the rough shaping. If we were to look at the branching in the bronchioles of the lung all the way to the air sacs with our eyes ( which are so limited in percieving whole picture) we would probably view a rough, complex and chaotic mess that would seem to be a waste of energy and requiring more energy for the body in the long run.  Just the opposit is true...By that intricate branching system we create more opportunity for alveoli ...more air sacs to take in oxygen...more opportunity for mucous production which is extremely necessary for cleaning and warming air...more opportunity for the cilia to pick up debris before the air hits the alveoli. Perfectly, intricately but actually very simply designed...same repeating pattern....it just looks messy to our eyes.

Is the  shortest distance between two points a straight line?

Now if you were to look at a mountain stream pouring from the mountain peak to the ocean...most of us would say that the shortest distance is always straight but as Rachel, in her blog Evolving Connection,points out ...that doesn't account for obstacles along the way.  Straight does not mean it is the path of least resistance.  Nature is effecient! She chooses the easiest path. It would actually take much more energy for that water to get over the natural obstacles , burrow through the rock by going straight than it would in accounting for nature's grooves. Those grooves, those shapes are there to create ease and allow for efficient use of energy not to randomly complicate. They quickly and efficiently take us around the obstacles. As Mendelbrot states the most effecient measuring takes in account "the Forces of God" even if we are simply determing how our stocks are doing on a chart.

Wow! So what does all that fractal math stuff mean to us in our lives?

 I couldn't say it any better than Rachel in the above quote does. The chaos has a purpose, a shape and an intricate but simple design to it.  Trust that!

All is well.

Daniel Schmidt (2012) Inner World, Outer World. Amazon Prime Movies

Blog: Evolving Connection (March 2015) Fractal God: How Math Met SPIRIT and Had a Baby Called Destiny. http://www.rachelthor.com/blogposts/2015/8/4/fractal-god-how-spirituality-met-math-and-had-a-baby-called-the-universe

Benoit Mandelbrot: Fractals and the Art of  Roughness (July 6, 2010) TED Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay8OMOsf6AQ&list=FLjmYO8qecRJgz_y0ZCO-xng&index=17

Faith in the Ultimate Splendor

 Life has a grand and infinitely creative design.  We just need to look at a flower...truly look at it, see how its petals are perfectly and  numerically placed; or at a butterfly to see how the exisquite  shapes on its wings are constantly repeating themself as pattern- to know there is not only an intelligent  plan to the universe but  a Supreme All-Knowing Architech who designed it all.
-Me

Two things are coming to my mind as I write this morning: the words of Andersen's fifth meditation and a documentary that serendipity has brought to me when I literally just asked the queston it had answered.

I often question: Why am I here writing this blog? Why am I seeking to understand and know what all these philosphers, poets, scientists, writers, teachers, yogis, and spiritual teachers are teaching? What am I looking for?

I am being guided.

I am being guided towards the same thing all of us are looking for,  "joyful faith in the One Self that unites us all".  I came across this in a 2015 entry in my devotional today and that is what it reminded me of. All these teachings point me to this faith...by pointing me to the Self within and without me.

There is a divine order to life  that even scientists are picking out.  I always hated math becasue I was afraid of it, I think. I avoided it even those who love math would try to convince  me of how dependable, predictable and logical it was in explaining phenomena. To me...it just never made sense.

  Now I see how the universal design is based on mathematical principles that can be explained by formulas like E= MC2 or Z (2 arrows pointing in opposite directions) z2+C.  Wow!

There is a connection between science and spirituality that cannot be denied. Spirit is energy and energy is everywhere,  creating everything.

Hmmm!

How can I not have faith then - complete confidence in this ultimate splendor?

All is well.

Must See:

Inner World; Outer World. 2012 Amazon Prime Videos

Note: My spell check is not working.  Excuse the numerous typos please.  I write too fast to catch them.

Ordinary Weed

Note: This entry is not about marijauna!!! lol

Ordinary Weed

I caught a glimpse of an ordinary  weed blowing in the breeze,
yellow flowers stretching up with tender browning leaves.
I stared at it intensely  as if it was the most delightful thing
and the poplar branches noticed and began to sweetly  sing.
They sung of its true essence while I simply held my breath
and I felt the life within it though it was surely close to death.
It vibrated through the grass where my feet were planted still
and travelled up into my limbs emptying me of thought or will.
It seemed to become a part of me when it settled in my heart
vibrating with the hum of life, reminding  me I too was a part
of some great moving energy, an invisible ripple or a wave.
Like the weed, not long for this world, I am here to serve and save
by allowing this changeless essence that makes us who we are
to flow through my impermenent form; expanding out and far.

©Dale-Lyn ( Pen) September, 2020 

Sat out with my tea this morning.  I cannot even say it was a conscious decsion to go outside.  I just found myself walking out to the back yard and plopping down on an old beat up lawn chair that is there. I said okay...I will just practice some mindfulness while I am here. 

Not so easily done.

I had thoughts carrying me away from the moment, you know, the usual. I focused on breath and the thoughts came and pulled me away again.  I brought myself back to breath.  All great and good for awhile but off I went again on another thought train about how I was having a challenging time focusing on breath lol. 

Then something in me said it was okay...just notice what is, that it is as it is and be okay with it.  As that thought came to me, I turned my head and saw this big weed growing by the fire pit.  It was an ordinary weed that I would have passed over a thousand times but this time something drew me to it.  It obviously had weathered a dry season and looked like it was not long for this world.  I decided to focus on it instead of breath.  And for a while there were no thoughts... just it and the breeze in my awareness...It was lovely...Then suddenly, out of this space, the words came, "I caught a glimpse of a weed blowing in the breeze; yellow flowers stretching up with tender browning leaves." I knew then it was poem time lol.

So I got up and came here.  Voila!!! Judge as you see fit...or...do yourself a favour and judge not...just allow it to be whatever it is without a need to say it is good or bad.  :)

All is well in my world.

Is Suffering Real or Not?

Bad luck doesn't overtake you; you create it. Success isn't the result of hard work; it's the result of right thinking.
Andersen, Uell S.. 


Does Suffering Exist?

Also since I began this study of Three Magic words I was finding the suggestion that we should deny the negative  difficult very difficult to digest.  I write and speak and dwell  a lot on the first noble truth of Buddhism: Suffering Exists. If the negative includes those painful human experiences that  cause or lead to suffering, how can we deny it?  More importantly: Why would we want to?

Part of the learning I write about is that this "suffering" can be the catalyst that takes us inward to a higher understanding...that can help us heal once and for all.  When we understand what causes suffering...our minds...more specifically our mental response to painful experience , we can set ourselves free once and for all.  Finding the true source of suffering...will lead us to healing from it once and for all. To deny it and not look at those "negative experiences" that come our way seems counterintuitive to this healing or transformation that seems so necessary for the human race.

Yet I know what Andersen is saying...we can bypass the need to learn to transform suffering  if we simply learn that suffering is so unnecessary ...if we don't create it in the first place.

My Path to Understanding and Freedom from Suffering

In my approach, which echoes the Buddhist approach, we create suffering in our minds.  We react to Life with resistance and struggle instead of simply allowing it to be.  Once we see what we are doing and start planting positive seeds...our internal lives will change and therefore will our external lives.   We will eventually learn to use the mind  with the approach of looking at suffering and seeing it for what it is, to transform it into a higher level of awareness.

• We have a perception that our worlds are negative and painful
• We recognize and accept the sense of suffering as very real
• We see that painful life circumstance is not the cause but our reaction to it is
• We see the mind as the source of suffering
• We learn to control the mind
• We plant and water  seeds of peace, happiness, joy, compassion and love
• Suffering gives way to Love and the Ultimate Reality

Do We Need to Learn From Suffering Or Can We Bypass that Step?

In Andersen's approach , we are asked to deny the first bullet.  Instead of "perceiving" the world as negative and painful...don't give those experiences that seem negative and painful any of your attention. Don't focus on the negative.  If you walk down the street and you see someone crying in pain on one side of the road and another person laughing with joy on the other side...ignore the one crying and focus on the one laughing.

This is very counterintuitive to the Buddhist teachings of "Suffering Exists' and the importance of service and compassion. Still...does it offer a more direct route to the Ultimate truth?

Life : Not The Cause of Suffering

What if we were to skip those first two bullets in my approach all together,  and go right to "We see that painful life circumstance is not the cause of suffering but our reaction to it is". This takes us right to Andersen's main point: The first cause is always mental. What we are doing in my approach is coming to the realization by going through the negative experience  that the life experience is not causing me suffering...my response to it is.  When I respond mentally and emotionally to life circumstance that is the problem. 

What if we came to that realization without actually having to go through a painful experience? Andersen also says that the life experience is not the cause of suffering...the life experience came from mind, as a result of it rather than our thoughts being simply a reaction to it.

Both approaches state clearly then...that the mind is the source of suffering, not life and what it gives us to deal with. If we learn to control the mind and start planting and watering healthy seeds we will have a healthy life.

Indirect Route to the Same Truth?

My approach, however, seems to be the long way around the pond in comparison to Andersen's. Andersen tells us we do not need to learn from suffering if suffering was never anything we had to deal with in the first place beacsue it was never anything "real". If we stopped believing in it and knew it wasn't real. His focus says we do not need to recognize suffering, accept it, or learn from it if we see that it is all just an illusion  in the mind.  We can go right to learning that our life is what we plant in our minds. We just need to plant healthy and real  seeds instead of negative ones (unreal, only illusion)  and we will never have the illusion of  painful experience to learn from.  We already learned what needed to be learned.

According to ACIM: that would be...

Nothing real can be threatened

nothing unreal exists

Herein lies the peace of God.

 

Hmmm! complicated, I know. I am not sure if this teaching his led me away from my present approach to understanding suffering but it certainly made me question.  I need to think more on this.

 

 

All is well!

 

 

ACIM ( 2007) A course in Miracles: Combined Text. Foundation For Inner Peace.

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.





Planting Seeds

Mind is the principle center of creation.
Jack Kornfield


I am not sure that everything we are given, be it beautiful or painful, is a result of the thoughts we place in USC.  I am not sure our thinking is directly responsible for the external experiences we encounter.  I do believe, however, that our lives are a result of what we do with them. I believe there is, at play, more forces than thought and belief creating our external worlds.  This thought and belief can determine the quality of life we live.

After this quote, Jack Kornfield goes on to say that maybe we cannot create the exact life we want through our thinking but, at least, we can plant the best possible seeds in our minds, therefore in our lives, that will make our expereiences  more positive and beautiful, despite the challenges we encounter.

These seeds are compassion, kindness, patience, genorosity, selflessness, peace and love.

Hmmm!

What is given to us in this life time doesn't matter as much as what we do with it. 
Jack Kornfield

Jack kornfield (2017) Episode Three: Karma and the Power of Intention.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBHckuY09iA