Observing Growth in Challenging Times

 

Spiritual development is not an accomplishment but a way of life. It is an orientation that brings its own rewards, and what is important is the direction of one's motives.

David R. Hawkins 

Finally had my oral surgery and all is well.  I have minimal swelling, and pain. No bleeding ( Never thought to go off my aspirin until Monday...guess it was long enough :)).  And...most importantly... I am still here.  Whenever I have a procedure that requires stong sedation or anethesia...I tend to worry a bit.  My heart doesn't seem to like it and I often dip into ST depression which becomes obvious to those monitoring.  I also do this tachy/brady thing and my BP can hit the floor. I usually recover from it quickly enough but I worry just a bit before they put me under. I will prepare people with..."if...just in case this should happen..." I mean that worry is minimal. Every time I am about to go under I remind myself that "what will be will be." I find great peace in that. I also worried a bit about the valve issue  I have and the possibility of an IE (Infective Endocarditis...bacteria that comes from extensive dental procedures loves a faulty heart valve and can do some damage) and because I was on medictaion for my osteoporosis...knew I was at a higher risk of ostenecrois of the jaw ( not a pretty thing to have)...so those were on my mind but not as much as one would think.  "What will be , will be" filled my mind and my heart. I was ready to accept it all. As for the pain I was told I would have postop...not a problem either. The prospect of physical pain doesn't scare me too much. I have had lots of experience with that over the years and have found a way to use it as part of my practice. So, it is all so very good. 

I like to see how much I have grown as I reflect on my handling of these semi-challenging experiences Life provides. It is pretty awesom...this "I" benetah the "me" is pretty awesome. I have grown so much.I can stay calm and peaceful in so mnay "big" situations.  That being said I might still freak out...just a bit...if someone drinks the last bit of milk I need for my tea :) 

All is well.