Burning

 The direct meaning of "tapas" is to burn....When we burn we feel some heat and pain. We undergo suffering. So, "Tapas" also means to accept suffering. If someone suffers, he or she is blessed, because by that suffering some impurities are purged out.

In order to make our minds clean and steady we must accept suffering, pain, and poverty. It is even more beneficial if, at the same time that we accept pain, we bring happiness to others.

Swami Satchidnandanda ( 2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Integral Yoga Publications (page 138)

I am burning.  I am burning from the tooth right now ( date set for the 18th...not sure how I will make it to then or how I will afford it if insurance doesn't cover some. Crazy expensive!) ...I am burning from other discomforts going on in this body.  I am burning from any lingering fear or worry about these things ( though that fear no longer runs my life)...burning from the decision making process that will involve major changes in my life...I am burning from the thoughts of impending loss....burning from the suffering of those around me.  Yeah, I am burning a bit. And it is all good.  When I think about it all as purifying me, I say "bring it on!" (Then I quickly curl up and say, "but please be gentle." lol)

Now...I need to focus more on bringing happiness to others.

All is well.