Waking Up in a Busy World: Watch What you Are Telling Yourself about What Is

Watch what you tell yourself. You are likely to believe it.

Russ Kyle (https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-is-positive-self-talk/)

Hmmm! There is one gaurantee in Life that you can always depend on...there will always be something that will go "wrong". That is if you think in terms of right and wrong. Life is going to be challenging...there is no escaping that. No matter what expectations you have flittering around in your head about how life "should" be....Life won't be able to meet all of them the way you think it "should".

Most of us got it all wrong...we spend all this time, energy and effort into trying to make Life different so it meets our expectations...only to find that it seldom does...and even when it does...something always tends to go "wrong" eventually. We get angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious and depressed because Life cannot keep up with these expectations of what is "good", "right" and "pleasant".

Let's face it...we can't change what is ...but we can do something with those expectations of ours.

Take that "should" and chop it up into pieces, burn it into ash or throw it in the compost heap where it belongs! "Should" is "crap"! I have come to see it as the most peace destructive word in the English language. Things, circumstance, other people "should" not be a certain way. They simply are what they are! When we place a should on something we allow ego to take the reins of our lives and provide some false evidence about why we should be anything but peaceful. "He should treat me better." "She should do this or that, be this or that." "It should not be raining." "This should not be happening." "Should" creates a certain expectation that can never be met by Life. People are imperfect in their realness and often will never meet our unreal expectaions of them. And Life is only able to do what Life does.
Notice and allow the "isness" to be what it is without adding to it. Replace that "should" with...it is what it is. Make that your mantra.
Go without the judgment or interpretation of what is happening. Remember this famous line from Shakespeare's Hamlet : Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. Avoid the "right" or "wrong", the "good" or "bad" discrimination here. Remove teh adjectives. It just is what it is! Look at the experience through neutral, non judging eyes.
Seperate the experience from the mental commentary. Stop telling yourself a story. Stop narrating every experience that comes your way. Or at least be aware of your tendency to do that. Just try, as Eckhart Tolle suggests, removing the story from your experience. So you stubbed you toe and it hurts like the dickens. That is the what is of your experience. Now watch yourself here...notice...if you are adding anything to that sudden bout of physical pain. Are you jumping around cursing and swearing at whomever left that piece of furniture in the middle of the floor? Are you saying things like, "Oh, I am so stupid. " or "See...life is out to get me!" or "Why is life always doing things to cause me pain?" If you are like the majority of us frequent toe stubbers, you are likely saying to yourself or others, in one way or another, "This should not be!" Be aware of that...notice what the pain is like on its own and what it is like with the narrative attached to it. The pain is enough, right? Why add to that the story, the mental resistance when it only makes the pain expereince ten times worse. We go from experiencing the challenges of life, which are there to make us grow and evolve, to full blown and unnecessary suffering, all because we added a story to it.
Live, honor and appreciate the present moment for being exactly what it is regardless of what is in it. Stop making an enemy of it...learn to simply be in it. So...in this moment as you are frantically trying to finish some task, you get a headache...Instead of automatically going to "This shouldn't be happening. Why are these things always happening to me. I can't take this! I can't deal with this now. I want this moment to be over!" Simply allow this moment to be what it is...a moment with a headache in it. Breathe! Accept that you have a headcahe, experience it a bit without resistance...decide if there is some action you can take and take it without drama or story. Get yourself some Advil if need be. Then take it a step further. Say to this moment Life offers you, "Thanks for everything. I have no complaints what so ever." And mean it...after all...regardless of what is in it, each moment is a gift.
Notice what you feel, what you tap into from this place of acceptance of what is. Notice the presence, the spaciousness within you. Notice how the "otherness of the other" disappears. Notice the peace that was once hiding under all that unnecessary drama emerge into your awareness.