The question is not whether you will teach, for in that there is no choice....You cannot give to someone else, but only to yourself, and this you learn through teaching...Teaching is but a call to witnesses to attest to what you believe...Any situation must be to you a chance to teach others what you are, and what they are to you.
ACIM-M-Introduction: 2
Disclaimer: Not An Expert!
I want to begin by reminding you that I know nothing...okay. I am just writing what comes to me as I learn, as I read and as I grow into this new understanding of things. I do this to learn, just as much, if not more so, than I do it to share.
I am not an expert. As you can surely tell, I am far, far from enlightened (again ...erronously using that distance analogy to explain this process) . Of course, the imperfection of what I express here shows just how unevolved I am. :) And now that the spell checker on this site is not working and my words are reduced to typos for the mistake counter...one will see how absolutely imperfect and "underdeveloped" I am as a writer, teacher, student and human being.
I am okay with that...this what I do here has little to do with my ego. (Or at least I don't want it to). It is about the lessons only.
Both Teacher and Student
I feel so compelled to share what I learn, as imperfectly as I learn it. What I learn from reading, listening, watching and most of all going inward comes out here. This platform is both the white board in a classroom, like the one I scribbled my notes on when I taught (scribbled being the key word), and at the same time it is the notebook on which the student takes notes. I am the student who constantly has her hand up, annoying the teacher to no end, and I am the teacher who constantly repeats to herself, "There is no such thing as a useless question. There is no such thing as a useless question":)
I have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the cuirriculum design and very little input in the learning materials that landed on my desk. All I did was sign up for the courses: Starting with the introducutory level course for new students, "How do I cope with this crapload of stuff life gave me? , then "What is really important 101? " and the post grad course, "Like Who am I really?" Then I went to class and I listened and I studied what showed up as it showed up. Whatever book I opened, video I listened to, expereince I had or any insight that came up...all seemed to be perfectly timed and ordered in a perfect design. (Didn't think that at the time each thing showed up...let me tell ya...but as I look back I can see how it all fit together.)
I questioned...a lot! I waited for the answers to come. I got tested consistently throughout the learning. I passed some tests. I failed others and had to do them over. Sometimes the learning/teaching got to be too much to take...so I skipped class or called in sick. But for some reason, the pull to master this learning was soooo strong...it kept bringing me back to the desk, and back to the front of the classroom to do my thing.
It isn't me
When I taught in a front of a classroom...I felt like I was in the zone...you know...it just came out of me. When I write poetry (and sometimes my other writing) ...same thing...and when I come here...everything I am learning just comes out. I realize what I think of as "me" is only the cannister of a pen...not the ink within it. It is the ink that does the writing and the teaching, not "me'.
Anyway... I do intend to get on with Andersen's book and to finish the ACIM lessons but things showed up on my desk/lesson plan that I had to take care of first. It is all good...even if it, as of yet, doesn't make sense. It will. As I used to remind my students when I physically taught...be patient...the peices will all go together soon enough and it will all make sense then. Trust the process.
Hmmm!
All is well in my world.
No comments:
Post a Comment