The Last Stanza

 I continued into oblivion lost,

My head was resting on my love;

Lost to all things and myself,

And, amid the lilies forgotten,

Threw all my cares away.

Saint John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul, Stanza 8

This last stanza depicts the accumulation of what we are all longing for, whether we know it or not...the mergence with the Source.  In this stanza the speaker states that she continues on ( not die) into oblivion ( I think of ...infinity...spacious emptiness when I hear the word oblivion). I continue  into oblivion lost,  She at this point not yet sure what is happening?  But it was okay because My head was resting on my love; In the stanza previous it was the opposite...the Beloved was resting on them.  This signifies, to me, the union...the mergence into One.  Goes on to say, Lost to all things and myself...What is this "lost" but a sense of disconnection from what one once thought was true, what was known, from the conceptual mind? The speaker is no longer attached to this world of form...to the needs of the little me, the personal self.  The speaker has transcended physicality for the invisible realm. Amid the lilies forgotten.  I am a bit confused here.  Amid the forgotten lilies...or is the speaker saying that they or all their cares are forgotten among the lilies?  Regardless  the lilly is a significant flower in the catholic church signifying Easter...resurrection...rebirth! The speaker has died to be reborn and in so doing was able to cast away all fears and concerns. threw all my cares away. They ( he/she)  are free.

Wow! That is what I long for...that freedom from fear, worry and concern.  I desperately want to be able to throw my cares away into the lilies. It is for that reason that I am on this path and now making my way through the dark night. It is actually a pretty selfish mission. I say I am seeking God and know intuitively that I am...but I have no "idea" what God is.  I really don't. All I know is  that the way I have been living before...at the proverbial "house"...the focus on physicality and materiality, the horizontal plane of existence.... wasn't enough, wasn't why I am here, wasn't working for "me" or for the "I am"I intuitively know is within me but have yet to fully experience. So I left the house in the dead of night, seeking more,  to go deeper, not knowing exactly what I will find when I get there  but trusting that I will find what "I"...not "me" needs there. Freedom! None of it makes a lick of sense conceptually....but the farther I get into this dark night the more I am pulled onward by Something within. 

So I read poems like this .  I listen to talks from enlightened or semi-enlightened beings.  I read the scriptures that come from those that have made the transition back to God...and I am inspired to keep going...even though everything "out there" says, "This is crazy, lady.  You don't even know where you are going or who or what it is that you are seeking. What are you doing?" 

I just shrug my shoulders and keep going.

Man, this is indeed a crazy ride.

All is well.

Saint John of the Cross/ Translated by David Lewis ( 1908) Dark Night of the Soul. Poetry Foundation https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/157984/the-dark-night-of-the-soul