The burden of an unhappy self ...can be transmuted. ..Presence is arising and is gradually dissolving the pain body in you....The pain body is fuel for presence.
Eckhart Tolle
Hmm! Many of us carry the burden of an unhappy self, don't we? We shine the light of consciousness down on those dark parts of us...the suffering parts of us...what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the "pain body"; we narrow the focus of the lens into that six square feet of "me" and that becomes all we see. It becomes who we think we are.
Sigh, got a call in the middle of the night regarding a very tormented pain body that needs transmutation, if this loved one is going to stay alive. I dropped right into the depth of Self...or tried to when I got the call. (Like I said...in this in between stage, I am not sure who Self is). I was calm, non- reactive, demanding quietly that the person relaying the news drop all the unnecessary drama and "add-ons" ( which often come in the form of the messenger's personal interpretations, past history, and their reactivity) for the "just is" of the situation. Stripping that relayed story of the emergency down into the bare naked reality really helps. Then I made some decisions, gave the person on the other line directions and I waited calmly, (even getting a few winks of shut eye), for the next call, the next step. I then got up slowly, ready to take action, breathing deeply, recognizing any tension in my body and encouraging it to relax. I noticed and accepted that only parts of me would relax completely. I accepted that I would not know the full extent of what I would be confronting until I got there. Told myself that is okay...I am not this body and I cannot dive into some future in my mind. I then started to get dressed. I was ready to respond.
Just then another call came in, saying the individual was now home and safe. I calmly thanked the person. Went back to my bed and laid down. There was no real sense of relief or happiness in me based on the change in the external event. There was just a calm and cool detachment. I didn't fall to sleep right away but there was no ruminating or endless recollection of how many of these phone calls I received over the years, a couple with fatal endings. There was no wishing and hoping that this person would get better. There was this complete acceptance of the situation being the way it was and totally out of my hands. Sure there was pain, and sadness, some fear and grief but there was an acceptance of that too. I did eventually fall back to sleep.
Hmm! Is that progress? Have I gone, Michael A. Singer, from mastering the dealing of the low hanging fruit to dealing with the more challenging stuff in an "untethered" way? I wonder. Heck I may stub my toe in a few minutes and find myself screaming and cursing my way through the house like a banshee on crack, anything but calm and abiding in higher Self lol. Who knows?
This loved one has a pain body. I still have one too...though it is transmuting, dissipating with every breath of presence I can bring into a situation. I have to keep being present no matter what unfolds in front of me, for both our sakes. I don't always succeed but sometimes I do. Regardless, I am committed to the practice. Someday, I will be able to shine this amazing light of consciousness ( which is who we are) away from the darker parts of self with ease and place it on the lighter parts of Self. Someday it might even remain there in the light where it belongs. This will require a wide angle lens, of course. I have a wide angle lens inside me; we all do. We can put our attention on anything we choose! Maybe it is true that these pain bodies, once stripped to their essence, will make great fuel for all presence to shine. Sigh!
All is well, exactly as it is.
Eckhart Tolle (January, 2023) How to Heal Emotional Pain in 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONUjdUDFi1I
No comments:
Post a Comment