If you like energy and you do, then don't ever close. The more you learn to stay open, the more the energy can flow into you. You practice opening by not closing.
Michael A. Singer.
I still have a hard time understanding the difference between staying open and not closing. I mean, I understand that we are naturally open to that wonderful Shakti flow of love and joy and bliss ( though I have yet to experience it). And I also understand that we close to it when we resist what life gives us based on our blockages ( stored past interpretations or mental modifications which lead to desire and aversion and that which block this pure open field of awareness). I understand "resistance" I do and the need for "acceptance and allowance", of Life as it is... but when Singer instructs us not to worry about staying open...just don't close, I visualize the big question mark popping up in a little speech bubble above my head. It is like, "What is the difference...and how do we control such a thing? "
Open First
I mean ...the way I see it...I am already blocked...I am already closed. I have been most of my life. I am not open! I may have been born open but I am not open now! My job, then, is to open...not to stop closing. How does one stop closing something that is already completely closed? I understand, I do, that I am not helping matters much when I resist the low hanging fruit when it shows up in my life...that I am putting more blockages on top of the blockages. Don't need anymore of those! But that doesn't seem to be the real problem for me...the problem is the deep samskaras...the real cause of the blockage. I work on the low hanging fruit but I am still closed at a deeper level. There seems to be so little light getting through from the inside. One has to be open to close, right? I am not open...so how can I stop closing?
I don't know. I know I want to and intend to become open and to be as open as I can be to Life as it unfolds in front of me and through me....whatever it is. I don't want to resist ( close to ) any more of it...but I am already closed. So "Just don't close" is hard for me to follow. Better instructions, for me at least, might be "Get open and be at least partially open first and then once you are open don't close!"
Things Can open You?
And that brings me back to this, "Things can open you." I mean, I have learned the hard way about the folly of looking out there for things to make me happy and complete, I have. I see that very clearly but when I am told that things out there can open us, I begin to question. If I need to open first...are there things out there that I can just use as a corkscrew kind of thing to help me open? I mean...I know these external situations, events, things or people can't keep me open, once I am open...that will be my job but can I actively seek and use something "out there" to help me open "in here" so I can get to that point where "Just don't close!" makes more sense to me?
Like what about nature and the sunset Singer described , for example. Should we consciously choose to surround ourselves with nature? What about teachings and teachers who have opened and learned to stay open...should we consciously choose to surround ourselves with them? What about positive and naturally open beings like children and certain animals? Should we consciously choose to spend more time with them? What about adventure and activity that speed up adrenaline flow ( and energy)? Should we be consciously partaking more in that?
I know pleasant and unpleasant are dualistic terms that we are going to try to grow beyond but....if pleasant external situations open us, when we are completely closed, more gently than the unpleasant do...should we not be consciously choosing those over the "negative" if we are given the opportunity?
What to Choose?
Say for example, I have a decision to make. I am invited to go away for a weekend by two different family members. One family member is easy and pleasant...leading to little samskara reactivity. I know it will be a pleasant, easy experience. There is a good chance I will relax and therefore open a bit and let some of that happy, joy, love feeling energy to come to the surface. It may be just a bit of it we will be able to take with us but some.
The other person is not so easy, not so pleasant ( according to mind) and being with them leads to a lot of tension, resistance and reactivity. Though I know, in the long run, such challenges open us...there is a good chance that for the weekend I am going to be stuffing more closure over the deep closure. I am going to feel miserable. Of course, the problem is my judgement and what mind is doing but mind is doing this becasue of these deep seated blockages that are still in me. It knows how closed I am. If I can get through this and after deep reflection on it...I may discover more of an opening.
One experience, for whatever reason, is deemed as pleasant and softens the blockage so positive energy is released slowly in little streams and the other is deemed as unpleasant and pokes at the blockages. If we continue poking or adding extra force, they will explode open. That constant poking will eventually release a lot of negative emotion that is sitting on top of the positive energy bringing it to the surface so it can be released...but it is going to be a challenging, difficult and painful experience. Like stuffing sticks of DNT in the blockages. Yes, it will be effective in the long run...we want those blockages gone...but not fun!
The pleasant experience, is not difficult but I am still opening a bit with each bit of relaxation and laughter. The opening is occurring more naturally. Now once, I have a lot of those pleasant external situations unfolding in front of me...a lot of sunset experiences...a lot of positive communication with others...a lot of laughing children or tail wagging pet experiences etc...some external ease to replace the challenges...I will open slowly but surely, won't I? Then, once I am at least a quarter open, I can worry about "not closing". Is that how it should work?
Right now, it feels like I am just standing here with a couple of sticks of dynamite in my hand...already lit. I am passively accepting all life gives me without actively seeking anything more from "out there", as I wait for the big inner explosion that is going to set me free. I do want to blow these samskaras from here to smithereens and I am ready for the pain and discomfort. I guess, I am willing to "renounce" all joy until that happens??? My realizing that nothing out there is responsible for my happiness or lack of has definitely put the ownership on me. I will and do accept what life offers as it unfolds in front of me . but does that mean I cannot seek and have experiences out there that open me up in a gentler way?
Hmmm! The choice for me, I guess, isn't so much about whether I stay open or don't close, but how do I open...gently with so called "pleasant" experience or harshly with so called "negative" experience and challenge?
This reminds me of the horse training choices my sister has to make. She can approach her young horse with firm, almost aggressive discipline to "break" it. It will involve something like poking at samskaras, to open it to her so it submits and follows her demands. It will be unpleasant for both of them but eventually there will be submission. Or she can follow another more slow but gentle approach. She can encourage the horse to relax and enjoy her by offering pleasant experiences and rewards, so it breaks, not out of fear of consequenc, but out of love. Hmmm! She is choosing the last route.
I mean, I do understand that once we are open our goal is to not close so the wonderful flow of Shakti can flow through us and into the world. But we do need to open first don't we, before we worry about not closing? It isn't until we are open fully that we will enjoy this external and internal Life fully, right? So though challenge will help to open us, is it okay to also choose a more gentle way to open now and again, so we can enjoy life a little bit before we enjoy it fully? I don't know...I really don't. I just know I wouldn't mind a bit more ease in my life.
Wow! Did I ever ramble, lol.
All is well.
Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( June 23, 2023) Letting Go-Your path to Unconditional Love. https://tou.org/talks/
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