Stuckness and Doing

 If you are doing all that you can to your fullest ability as well as you can, there is nothing else that is asked of the soul.

Gary Zukav

Doing

I have been thinking about "doing" again.  Of course, my primary goal these days is to establish a Life of "being"...being in this moment, being aware, being clear and wise, being responsible, being loving and compassionate, and being aligned with what the deeper part of me needs. That truly, truly is my main objective in Life.  Yet, I still think about "doing".  

Stuck!

Last night I caught myself looking around at my so called life and saying, "WTF(fork) ? You are in such a rut!  You are stuck!  And you are attracting other people and circumstances into your living situation that are also stuck.  You are surrounding yourself in stuckness. You are not "doing" enough with this precious Life you have been given.  Where is the adventure?  The joy? The travel? The service? The reaching out to others?  The laughter, that you so miss? You barely leave the house.  You are spending up to eight hours a day in front of your books or computer. Sure you are learning and that is important but what are you doing with that learning...you know the deal with learning is  the writing and teaching, right?  You are doing that yes but to whom?  Where are your readers, your students? You are not getting the learning out there!  Your writing is all over the place. You are not connecting with nature the way you so love to do. You don't visit the woods much anymore (in all fairness to this thing I call "myself", since COVID I had not the physical energy to be pulled by three hyper dogs through the trails or to chase after them should I let them off-leash.  So I have reduced my outdoor experience to walking around my yard).  You have not picked up your camera in months!  You have even reduced your yoga practice and have not had a class in over a month. When is the last time you had a face to face conversation with someone outside your household?   Man...lady...you are so broke and need to make money.  You have others dependent on you again.  Get your act together.  Get out there!  "Do" something!!!" 

Who Is Stuck? Ego or Soul?

It shocked me to have that revelation.  And I am not sure where that voice came from.  Was it my ego reprimanding me for not following its program?  Or was it spirit, reminding me of the contract to act like a human being while here? I don't know.  I really don't. I was just overwhelmed by this idea that I was stuck and not expanding in the way I was meant to.  This energy of "stuckness'', I know,  is partially responsible for the situations I am encountering in my life, my relationships and my sense of imbalance between personality and soul need. It is affecting everyone around me.  It is affecting what happens with my creations.  I do write for the sake of writing but that which I write may not be flowing where it is meant to flow....blocked by this energy of stuckness. Hmmm! 

This sense of stuckness brings about a feeling of reactivity,  heaviness and fear marked by periods of boredom, irritation and even anger.  Tolle explains this is often what propels us toward the question: "What can I do to make me feel a little better?" (finding Your Life's Purpose.) Doing...becomes a compelling desire in hope that it will  make us feel better.

No Reactive Doing!

Of course,  "doing" re-actively is not the answer to this experience of being stuck. Maybe I do have to do more but only after I check in with "soul" and get a little more clarity on this matter.  Is soul stuck or is it just the outer shell of me stuck, like a garment caught by a thread  on something as it slips off? I need more clarity. 

Clarity is the ability to see the soul in action in the physical world. It results from choosing to learn through wisdom instead of  through fear and doubt..  Zukav, page 218

Then I can respond with inspired and wise  action or attempts to change my external environment, if they are required. 

Yes being is so important.  My goal to move towards the Deeper part of Self, the still spaciousness of awareness is worthwhile. To do that  I need to look deeply into and through  my emotional experience here and ask , "What is it my soul needs right now?" 

It gets tricky cause ego is so determined to get  its needs met.  Those needs are often very different from those of my soul. Sometimes, however, I can not tell the difference...and I really do not know if Soul that is trying to tell me that I am not "doing enough" with my life, or ego.  I only want to listen to soul. 

I need to think a little more on this.

All is well in my world. 

Eckhart Tolle/Meditation (March, 2022) Finding Your Life's purpose. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj5hyLytsIY

Gary Zukav (1989/2014) The Seat of the Soul. New York: Simon and Schuster