Living Wisely

 Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.

The Buddha

A bit sad and shocked this morning. I was ancy all week thinking about this person whom I was helping with some of their care since May. This week, I could both observe and sense something was happening.  I knew he was failing as expected from his condition.  On Monday, I was planning on sitting down with the family and a nurse from the health care agency he was admitted under  in order to  come up with a care plan for the "when it is time" sort of thing. I thought we had time to make  these plans and prepare  when I left him and his wife on Thursday. 

But Life had other plans. He left this world 24 hours after my last visit. The "happening" progressed quickly and he died at home while the ambulance was about to transfer him....  He left his body as he had wished. The family only had to witness a portion of the suffering that could have been, the suffering I was expecting and was trying to help manage and diminish.  So I do call that a sweet blessing. 

Still...my heart swells with sadness...for the family and  for myself ( I will miss him and our visits). 

It made me think once again about the fragility of this Life we cling to.  It isn't anything "solid" that we can wrap our hands around. When the time comes, no matter how hard we are holding on, we cannot stop this transition from taking place. We have to let go when it is time to let go...whether we are willing to or not.  It isn't predictable either...we cannot set the time , place, and how of this inevitable passing when it is done naturally.  Life decides when it will be breathed in and when it will be breathed out.

Ironically, as I was awaiting the news of his passing I was also awaiting a call about a new beginning.  My son is expecting his second baby and I am on call to go look after my granddaughter while Mom and Dad are in the hospital bringing new life into the world. Mom was having contractions yesterday. So I waited with phone in hand all evening with the accumulation of this ancy gut feeling I was gathering all week twisting and twirling inside me. I found myself  wondering what it would be...birth or death...that I would hear of first.  It was what we call "death" that was brought to my attention. 

But what is death?  Is it really  the terminal ending our culture seems to  refer to in hush hush voices as we hide it away from our conscious awareness...or is it more?  Is it less? 

Is it not  simply a passing on of one way of being ( encased in flesh and mind) to another freer way of being? How free the essence of who we really are must be without the dense heaviness of body, and the frustrating 'craziness' of the mind to deal with.  

I see this person who has passed as "free". Life was breathed into the him we knew by his name, body, personality, thoughts and beliefs and when it expressed itself fully, through that incarnation with all its achievements and all its failures, all its blessings and all its struggles, all its joys and all its sorrows...it breathed itself out. Hmm! His "life" was all that existed from the first breath he breathed in and the last breath he breathed out but Life is so much more. 

Of course, his physical absence will be missed.  That is what we grieve but how can we grieve for his liberation? 

And to think it is possible to achieve this liberation while we are still encased in flesh and mind. We do not need to wait until our last breath in human form to be free.   Wow!  

So between the first  breath in and the first breath out...let's put away our fear of dying and fill that beautiful pause  we call living with wisdom, compassion and love.

Hmmm! Something to think about.

All is well.