Self Righteous and Humbled

 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this story: 

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other  a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: God, I thank you that I am not like other people-robbers, evil doers and adulterers -or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn't even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said: 'God have mercy on me, a sinner. '

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all those who humble themselves will be exalted. "

Luke 18:9-14 NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2018%3A9-14&version=NIV

Exalted or Humbled? 

Ooops! Did I ever sound self -righteous in the previous entry.  Wow!  I was surprised to see ego puffing up in myself when I mentioned how I am "giving" in my percieved lack of "having".  I did not intend for ego to slip in the way it did yesterday when I was simply wanting to express guilt, maybe, that I didn't pay for a service I have gained so much from. I tried to rationalize, compensate and counter that guilt with some story of how I give.  

That is not true giving! When we attach pride and even the subtlest bit of "aren't I great" or "look at how much better I am than another" to giving, it diminishes giving and inflates the ego. (Never a good combination). 

Oh well..I am learning.  I am aware of what I am doing and I leave yesterday's post up as it is, so I am reminded that ego is still around.  Do not have to run from it, make it the big scary enemy, or try deperately to push it away or beat it uncoscious.  Just need to be aware it is still around and recognize it when it pops up. A revealed ego can do little damage to the lives we know, while a hidden and denied one can do a lot! 

I actually love it when I catch ego in action. It is like a game to me, a learning game. I catch myself "reacting" in a certain way, identify ego in the thought stream, feeling or action and I point it out.  "Oh...there goes ego again. Up to his silly tricks." (I sometimes refer to ego in masculine gender lol). Just by the process of and ability to watch, I detach from ego and the thought, feeling, behvaours that feed it.  I see it, not as me, but something I am observing.  It loses its punch when I can do that. I am no longer "lost" in it. 

It is great to see Self as the observer rather than  to be trapped as  the tragic  victim, or the gracious heroine  in these stories we create in our minds.  We can go beyond the need to build our little me identies with a bunch of thoughts and ideas.  We can simply fall back into who we really are and be there and be that.

Cool eh?

All is well!