Home sick

 

I have arrived.  I am home.  In the here and the now...

Thich Nhat Hanh

Away From Home

I have not been meditating the way I usually do every morning.  My household is a little upside down right now in order to accomodate someone who needs it. The living room couch was all we had to offer.   That may sound like a complaint but it isn't meant to be anything but a fact...really. 

I have become accustomed to a particular spot on my dining room  table, just off the living room, for my morning ritual.  I sit in a chair there, not on a cushion, where I  am surrounded by windows that let the  beautiful light  and/or beautiful outside world in. It is sooo peaceful there...only because I decided it was lol.  Anyway...it is nolonger a secluded spot so I move into this room...my office...and here I am accustomed to writing.  The space has the energy of written thought in it. So even when I sit to meditate...I seldom follow through lol.  I find myself tapping away instead. Sigh!

Anyway...Like many of you, I am sure, I am feeling a little challenged  by life circumstance and a body that really is "expressive" (How is that for a way to describe the ticker acting up and the other little things I got going on in it?) As a result I often find myself lost, away from my peaceful center, overidentified with the thoughts and ideas going around in my head...reacting to them and not "home".

Home to me is that place where everything makes sense even when we don't understand a lick of it, lol. Home is always peaceful and calm, serene and still with big beautiful windows ( much like my dining room) where I can peer out and only see beauty.  When I am home, I am not affected by what is going on out there, you know? The light streams in brigtening everything so I see clearly what is important and what isn't. 

It is home I go to when I meditate.  I am home when I practice mindfulness, appreciation and acceptance for all that is. When I am experiencing Life in the here and now rather than "thinking" about it or creating stories around it...I am home.  Sigh!  I miss home. 

The thing is...home is still in me..never left nor will it.  Home is something I carry with me...not a place I have to go to.  I can deal with these challenging life situations so much better if I ground myself in home than I would if I keep getting  lost in my crazy mind. 

How do we go home when the outside world is so messy? 

• Slow down, stop and breathe. When things are chaotic around us, we often have the tendency to move with them or against them, don't we?  If your living room is upside down...what would you naturally be inclined to do?  Clean it up,  right? (well if you are not me, that is)  Fix it!  Make it better! And though it  is okay to do that to some extent...neither good or bad...it is not going to take you home.  The only way to go home is through quiet and a slowing down or a ceasing of action...if only for a few moments at a time.  So when you notice the chaos, the challenges, the body shouting at you...maybe you can resist the urge to "do" something and just stop, sit somewhere ( or walk slowly as in a walking meditation) and focus on breath going in and breath going out. Stillness in silence is the door and the breath is like the key to the door that opens into home. 
• Remind yourself where home is. Home isn't down the road or miles away. It isn't a distance away from you...home is simply deeper inside you.
• Go deeper instead of farther away. So resist the urge to reach out, seek out or freak out.  With that breath, just close your eyes and slip deeper below the external chaos, below the thinking and the story, below the "idea" of you to who you really are...Self.  Self is home. 
• Be here and now.  That is really what it is all about ...being here in this now, this moment.  Life can only be here and now.  When we wish for the moment to be different, when we numb from it through our busy work and desire to fix it, make it something it isn't...when we are stuck in the past or waiting for the future...we miss Life...we miss the "experience" of being home. So no matter what appears to be happening to you or around you...be here, be now.
• Home is self-cleaning.  The cool thing about this is that we do not have to clean up messes or make Life any different than what it is.  Life is self cleaning; home is self cleaning.  Chaos will come; chaos will go.  Illness will come; illness will go. Challenges will come; challenges will go. People will come in; people will leave. Circumstances will come' circumstances will go. Just sit back and observe.
• Relax through the body We need to learn to relax with what is. What is your body feeling right now? Scan it, notice the sensations. If you notice tension, breathe into it, encourage the body to relax and let go of it.  What are you feeling internally? Can you notice the heart  beat, the pulsations in your palms...any inner vibration?  Just notice and be aware.
• Experience Life through the body.  Now what is Life like in your body?  So many of us are numb to the body and therefore numb to Life.  When we sink into the body and become aware of it...we are closer to home. 
• If your help is needed you will be summoned. If we need to do something...we will be summoned with an inspiration or a little internal push. Wait for that inspiration to avoid acting from ego which is always a reaction taking us farther from home rather than closer to it.

All is well!