Being There

Being there at the moment is everything!

Unknown

 Hmmm! I was going to come here to talk about a lovely meeting with old friends I had last evening but before I had a chance to write, I received a call from someone who is deeply suffering. Having a slip  in his attempt at recovery, he injected something that left him with severe paranoid delusions .  He is terrified and I could do nothing but assure him that he was safe, that what he was believing was not true. (In truth, I  fear some permanent damage was done).  I just felt his pain and it was hard.  He is on his way here and I will sit with him a bit but he needs help I am not equipped to give him. 

I am afraid he won't get the help he needs in this "overwhelmned" system because he is an "addict". And that is all people see now.   He was already sent home twice.  It is a  case of "co-morbidity" but the addict is seen first and the pain condition   sometimes, if ever, afterwards.  Sigh!  

I am already feeling heavy. And I am just the "step"...you know.  Poor D....I feel his pain too over this.  I soak up emotion like a sponge...always have.  I learned to close down some over the years but closing down to suffering, both my own and others, has led to me closing down to life.  I don't want to do that. I want to stay open and loving no matter what...allowing that Love that is in all of us, is all of us, to come out, to be there for him and for me.  It is just so damn tough, you know?  

Being with that group of wonderful ladies yesterday reminded me of the goodness of people, of the goodness of Life.  This type of suffering can to...because this is a part of Life...just as much a part of Life as happy conversations around a table of old friends and acquaintances . Hmmm!

My prayer now, in such situations, " Lord..make  me be an instrument of your peace..." You know the rest, don't you?  I love those eloquent words of Saint Francis...they keep me going sometimes. 

It is all good.