Waking Up in a Busy World: Peace- filled Faces Reflect Peace -filled Responses

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes, without speaking, confess the secrets of the heart.
St Jerome ( https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/st_jerome_190064?src=t_face)

I want to talk a little more about the learning that comes from Lao Tzu's story about the old farmer that I wrote about in my last entry. I want to talk about learning to respond to life rather than react.

Are your reactive or responsive?

When faced with unpleasant life situations do you contract and cry out to the universe with anger, frustration and shock, "No! This shouldn't be!!!"? Is your happiness and peace dependent on what happens 'to you' or around you? Do you shrink up with every unkind gesture or word you receive from another? Are you at the mercy of life events that do not turn out the way you think they should? If you answer yes to any of the above questions (I always wanted to say that lol) you are reacting to life rather than responding.

Not alone

Don't fret though because you are not alone. Most of us, well those of us who still operate under ego's guidance ( and that would probably be about 99 % of us :)), react more than we respond. It is the person who is able to put away his ego or her attachment to a socially prescribed idea of what he/she or life should be like that is able to respond like the old man did in the story.

Response differs from reactivity in that in involves so little emotional drama, no desire to miserate or commiserate, no resistance, and no yo-yo like up and down movement of our feelings. At the same time it offers no assurance that everything is going to be great and that we are fortunate or not...it does offer stability and peace. It provides a grounding into who we really are so we can deal with the event, the other person, the body etc...in a way that is healthy and much more Life affirming.

It is written on the face

One way to determine if we are responsive or reactive is through our facial expressions. It is said that our faces reveal what is in our minds. This is such a well known fact that a study was recently done to monitor the driving risk factors associated with angry or overstressed drivers through facial expression alone. https://infoscience.epfl.ch/record/200407/files/icip1024-cam-ready.pdf Our faces can express just how reactive we are both in the car and outside of it.

Do you smile at the person who walks by only when they smile at you? If they shoot you what seems to be a dirty look do your eyes and mouth drop as your heart sinks? If you are waiting for a check in the mail...does your face light up when you open it or fall when the mail box is once again empty? The face says so much about what we are feeling and if we are not feeling peaceful all the time we are reactive. If our facial expressions change quickly from one moment to the next , mirroring the life events we are encountering (and judging) than we are indeed reactive.

The Never Changing Faces of the Wise

When what others would call adversity came to the old farmer's hilltop and he uttered that famous word, "Maybe," his face was calm and peaceful. When what others called good fortune showed up, his face was calm and peaceful. His peace was not dependent on life situation being a certain way. He did not allow emotional reactivity to feed his ego. Instead he just responded with a tiny word of acceptance, faith and hope in possibility. "Maybe"

Sages and saints, those who have truly lost their attachment to ego lies and who see the distinction between life events and Life, exude and exuded that same facial expression as the old man did...one that does not fluctuate with the change of outer world events.

Look at the Dali llama when he is speaking. When he goes from easy friendly topics of discussion to ones that are rather intense, his face does not change much. There always remains a hint of that beautiful infectious smile. Sri Rama Maharishi was reported to keep the same calm expression on his face no matter what was going on around him or to him. It is said that when he was having major surgery on his arm, and only under mild local anesthesia, his face did not flinch through the entire procedure. (Jnani, 2018)

Putting Peace on our Faces and Into Our Lives

When we learn to accept life as it is and not see it as a series of random events that are happening to us or around us; when we give up our self destructive attachment to things and ideas that deny who we really are; when we put away our idea that we are supposed to feel and react a certain way because we are human; and when we stop depending on external things to make us happy...than ...'maybe' we too can exude the face of calm wisdom that shows the world and ourselves that we are ready to respond rather than react. Maybe we can feel and express peace at all times.