-Thich Nhat Hanh from The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8002976-worrying-does-not-accomplish-anything-even-if-you-worry-twenty
Do you ever wish there was a switch that you could simply flick off when it comes to worry? A switch that made everything clearer and less scary to look at? One that brought you away from all those future possibilities and 'what ifs' to the moment you were in? A switch that by the simple movement of your fingers could end the tormenting mind activity that was so darned exhausting?
We all know, at this point, that Thich Nhat Hanh is right, don't we? Worry does not accomplish a darn thing. It only makes matters worse. All that anxiety is hard on the mind. All that anxiety is hard on the person. All that anxiety is hard on the world. Yet here, most of us are, worrying our lives away.
I am no better. I am worrying. I worry about silly things and I also worry about challenging things. I have situations in my life that others support as 'worrisome'. I can get lots of validation that I indeed have a right to worry. I could feed the ego real good with other validation and worry could run wild through my life with some form of righteous abandonment......but...that's not what I want. I do not want to spend any more time in senseless worry. So how do I flick the switch and put an end to the energy source that feeds worry?
Well Hanh says it all in the above quote. He tells us, in not so many words ,what we can do to avoid getting lost in worry. He tells us to:
- Try our best (within our locus of control) to change the situation that is causing us to worry. That, of course, would involve knowing what we have control over and what we don't. We can not make people change but we can encourage, teach and support in a non-judgmental and loving way. We cannot pull people away from dangerous self-destructive paths but we can lead by example when they are ready to follow. We can't change many of the things life hands us as it unfolds but we can choose whether we respond to them or react.
- Commit to continue doing so
- But know that sometimes things are not always going to be in our control. When things or people are not as we expect them to be or think they should be and our efforts at changing them fail...that's okay. Sometimes the best thing we can do is let go of our need for control...to trust Life and just let it be what it is. "It is what it is and I'm okay with that" is my new mantra.
- Accept, then, the situation for what it is regardless if we like it or not
- 'Be' Content Anyway. Even when life seems to be handing us plenty of things that ego tells us we 'should' worry about...we do not need to listen to ego. We do not need to worry! We can, instead, just be content with being in the Life situation...whatever it is. The key thing is 'being'. We can just be content with being regardless of the details or circumstance. Get back to being. In being we can be nothing but content. That doesn't mean we have to be thrilled or even happy when we ponder the circumstances...just accepting. Contentment comes when we put away our need to resist or struggle against life.
- Breathe and become aware of that breath when the worry is turned on. As soon as you notice the worry thoughts, the thing to do is bring yourself away from their projections into the future and to settle in your moment...in the now. The quickest way to do that is to breathe slowly and focus on that breath going in and going out. Just feel it inside you as you bring yourself gently out of your head and into the here and now. Focus on the breath as it calms and soothes the nervous system...turning off the worry switches in your body.
- Smile...practice smiling in times of adversity. Smiling is not just a social expression it is an internal soothing mechanism. Smiling helps us to release dopamine and other feel good emotions that will soothe and ease us away from worry. Put on a big goofy smile when you catch yourself worrying and see what happens.
- Live life deeply. What does Hanh mean by living life deeply? I assume he means to experience life not just in our minds and at the direction of our superficial egos but to live it from the state of awareness that is within. Beneath the circumstances or situations, beneath all that mind stuff and beneath the worry is Life. Be mindful of that awareness and 'experience' Life instead of just getting through one life situation after another. There is a big difference. Live Life deeply!
We should be able to enjoy the wonders of life in us and everywhere around us. The whispers of rustling pine boughs. Flowers blooming. The beautiful blue sky. Fluffy white clouds. The smile of a neighbor. Each of these is a small miracle that has the capacity to nourish and heal us. They're there for us right now. The question is: are we there for them? If we are constantly running around, if our mind is caught up in endless planning and worrying, it's as if all these wonders don't even exist. -Thich Nhat Hanh, peace is every breath, page 79
Be there for those wonders. The worry switch will be flicked off, maybe even permanently, by the simple experience of being there, living life deeply.
References
Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. New York: Harper One
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