Turn Towards the Light

 Be like the flower, turn your face to the sun.

Kahil Gibran

The Novemember sun is shining in on me and it is so heavenly...I feel the warmth and energy from it soaking right through my skin and into every cell of my body.  I love light!  I am like an old houseplant always leaning and stretching toward it, trying to capture every bit of it I can ...needing it to nourish me and help me to grow.  Without it I tend to shrivel up, any blossoms I may have been able to create close up.  Hmm! I have had a need for this light ever since I could remember...even as a child I was drawn to it, always wanting to be outside or by a window, and I went into some type of semi withdrawals on rainy days.  

I love this room where I write now because it is surrounded by windows...one of the reasons... I baught this house.  When I viewed the house as a potential buyer decades ago, the first thing I noticed,  looking through the then dark and somewhat oppressive kitchen, was the way the light was shining into this dining room from all these windows.  It was enough to pull me in. A couple of years ago I did something about the "dark, oppressive kitchen" with its tiny window, dark cupboards and so little light. I put a hole in the wall between it and the living room where the big picture window is so that light could stream through the house. I painted my cupboards a light colour that reflects light.  My space is now full of light now and so is my heart. It brought me back to life a little bit, at a time I felt like I might just be going under. Light is healing. 

Hmmm! Feel a poem coming...but I will not go there this morning.  My ticker has been acting up a bit...all the excitement I suppose with grandbabies arriving and coming, losing a dear neighbour and friend and having no time to grieve really that loss, and my book...have been a bit of a physical strain. Man my book ...it's coming.  I have gotten through the writer's block that has been staring me in the face for months upon months... possibly because I am taking legitimate steps to release the pain and memory  of old trauma wounds. The book is helping me to do that and the willingness to do that is helping me to write the book.  Writing, like the light, is so very, very healing for me. 

Even though I know full well, with my now evolving mind, that this right here and now is all there is, all that is important ...I still  entertain a fantasy from time to time. I wistfully  "desire" something up there in the future.  I see me sitting in a little house (that I can afford without worry over finances)full of windows surrounded by the beauty of nature all around me...water, trees, animals and light...writing stuff that has the ability to touch others in a way that could open them up...just like the light opens me up. Hmm!

Just a fantasy...just a wish I don't "need" for healing to take place.  I know that because even here and now in this house I have no idea how I will keep...I sit surrounded by light writing and writing and writing, opning up like the blossoms of the big flowering plant in my living room and healing, healing, healing. And that makes Life so perfect, just as it is here and now.

All is well in my world!