"May You Be Happy"

 'O look, look in the mirror,

O look in your distress: 

Life remains a blessing,

Although you cannot bless.

O stand, stand at the window

As the tears scald and start;

You shall love your crooked neighbour 

With  your crooked heart.'

W.H. Auden from As I went Out One Evening   https://poets.org/poem/i-walked-out-one-evening

I love this poem and the message it carries with it on compassion and lovingkindness.  No matter how time seems to "leak" away or how many dark and challenging things there are are to observe in this world of form ; no matter how broken and "crooked" you or others  may be...you, if you stay open to your own  suffering, will see yourself in others and others in you and you shall love your crooked neighbour with your crooked heart. 

Hmmm! Yesterday, I wrote how I was struggling with the "crooked" behaviour of others. I was distressed and fearful over  what this behaviour could do then and in the future to those closest to me. I had to take a minute, during my distress, to look into the mirror and  see that I was in no position to judge or bless when I turned my eyes out on the world because I was crooked too. I had to see and feel the suffering and brokenness of others as my own. Even despite that and the obvious "crookedness" of these others I could still love, still feel compassion and kindness.  

I could  get beyond these hurtful behaviours to see the goodness in each.  I could see that there was so much goodness there. ...if we make it a practice to seek out and relate to the good in each person, then the feeling of loving kindness grows quite naturally. page 359

This seemed to make me more aware of the whole picture without all the reactivity and judgement and blaming. As our minds become more open and less defensive, we begin to experience metta as a basic quality of awareness. page 359

I could also offer them this simple wish, "May you be happy." I found my heart opening to them and all with this  simple wish.  I genuinely want these individuals to heal, to transcend their addictions and their suffering so they can be well and happy.  I genuinely want everyone to be well and happy. When I realize this, my heart opens more. The tears may continue to scald but my heart is open...and it is so lovely. 

I am not saying that I am no longer concerned or okay with what they did or do in their unconsciousness, that I feel my loved one should just suck it up and live with it...no not at all...If they do not change she cannot stay.  I am hoping that they will change...take those necessary steps toward healing... not just for her sake , or my sake -so I do not worry, but for  their sakes as well.  

May all be happy and at peace.

All is well. 

Hmm!