We spend our whole lives projecting a dream, stepping into it and believing the dream is real.
I don't know what to write about today. I want to share some great lesson that doesn't involve a long ramble about "me". I do not want to pour my silly stories all over this page yet there are so many they consume me. It is like my mind is trying to narrate 100 stories at once in order to "explain" what is going on around me and in me. Try listening to 100 stories at the same time and then try talking about something else that is not related to any of those narrations. It is challenging.
I am a little caught up in the "happenings", the "events" of my life. Up most of the night last night. I didn't get to bed until well after midnight...texting back and forth with family in an attempt to make arrangements for a family member who recently found himself homeless. My daughter called at 2 am and told me she was having "those pains" again...the same type of pains she had when she lost her first baby. As we talked they subsided and she hadn't had them since but I could not fall back to sleep easily. Then I went out to the kitchen to see another suffering loved one awake and unable to sleep because of what he is going through. I could do nothing to console him...only worry. ...as useless and as pointless as I know worry is. I went back to bed.
I lay in bed listening to the story being told, "Bad things are just going to keep happening to you and your loved ones. Look at this, that, and the other thing you had to deal with in less than four days. Look at all the things you had to deal with for the last two decades. How many people do you know have to deal with things like this all at once? You are cursed my dear." The story of my cursed life is so convincing at times, I actually believe it, especially in those wee hours of the night. At those times, I see myself a marked target for Life's happenings.
I get up in the morning and begin my practice again of observing and taming the mind. I see what I am thinking, feeling and believing and look deeply into it. I remind myself : Things are not happening to me. Life isn't picking on me. Life is just happening. It isn't happening the way it is happening to punish me...."me" isn't even really a thing. "I am" just one of those happenings of Life. Just relax into it my dear, and let it be.
Sigh! That is what I want to bring to you...our ability as human beings to not give into the story as if it were real. It is only fiction. What is real is the being, the essence, the presence watching the story go down. We are the observer/ seer/dreamer as well as the process of Life/the dream itself/ and we are also that what we see/observe or dream about. Hmm!
I do believe that but I also wonder if by getting lost in the "negative" and then unintentionally putting all this negative out there that I am creating more negative to deal with? Yuck...I don't want to leave you with that lol.
See yourself as the one who is doing all three, and suddenly the world of angels becomes as real as this world of solid things.
Deepak Chopra from Life After Death, Chapter 11
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