Even though something has no material or relative value to any "small I", it has value in itself. Not to be attached to something is to be aware of its absolute value. Everything you do should be based on such an awareness, and not on material or self centered ideas of value. Then whatever you do is true giving, is dana prajna paramita.
Suzuki (1970) page 50
Hmm! I felt compelled to come here this morning and ask the questions I have been asking for years. Am I truly giving? Do I let go and detach from what I offer? Who is doing the giving anyway...small I" or the "big I" ?
I truly want to make the rest of my life about giving and I have so little "material" to give anymore. All I can seem to have left to give is my presence, my learning and my words. Is it enough?
Dana prajna paramita is true giving on our crossing over to the true wisdom of life and giving is nonattachment. So what I do here every morning...what is it? Is it dana prajna paramita?
...to give one line, or even one word of teaching is dana prajna paramita. If given in the spirit of non attachment , the material offering and the teaching offering have the same value. page 49
I honestly do not know if my giving here is done in the spirit of non attachment but I think it is. I am not really seeking anything of material value from this, nor am I seeking recognition. And really...the "small I" I knew would not put herself up on a blog site about such topics for random people to read ...she would be too concerned about what others would say or think. And I do know, especially with the poetry that comes out here, it isn't 'me' doing the creating. It is much bigger than that. It is the "big I' that brings me here every morning to do what I do, and give what I give.
Actually, to create with the "big I" is to give; we cannot create and own what we create for ourselves since everything was created by God. page 49
I know "small I" is definitely still around, checking to see if what I wrote was read, or if it sounded "okay". I do my best to let go of what I write as soon as I write it, without judgement or concern for where it goes from there. That feels so good when I can do that. It is getting easier ...but ...I still don't "know" if what I do here has value or if I have given up all my self centered ideas of value. I don't know.
Hmmm! But this comforts me:
...to give one line of the teaching may be to make a ferry boat for someone. page 49
I like the idea that I just might be a small part of some Grand Plan for making a ferry boat for someone to cross over to a better way of being.
All is well!
Shunryi Suzuki ( 2020) Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind 50th Anniversary Edition. Kindle edition
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