Change Required?

 

I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.

George C. Litchenberg

Man.  I know I need to make a major change in my life.  I have been knowing I had to do this for a while.  This dream I had recently about what was going down in my body and the warning I had that if I don't make changes soon it could become something more serious...was more than a little reminder to make a change. My symptoms are a reminder everyday.  My body is a loud communicator! 

I kind of know what type of change I need to make but I really do not know...or at least...I refuse to accept fully what this change will entail. I just know I gotta make one.

How do we know we need to make a change in our lives?

I have realized there is several things that I experience that precedes any change making necessity in my own life experience:

• I find myself dissatisfied with doing the same old thing over and over again.  It seems that I am stuck in a cycle of mundane activity. It becomes even painful to do the things I do in my "routine".
• Energy levels are low.  I become tired and easily fatigued physically.  Emotionally, I am less happy.
• I get sick.  That is a big one for me.  My body cries out , "Don't keep doing this to me." 
• Negative circumstances, just keep bombarding me.  It is like I am a cow in the wrong pasture and Life is constantly zapping me with some Celestial cattle prod in order to get me moving out of that pasture. 
• I care about the material things around me less and put less energy into looking after them.  Whereas I might be all up on everyone to not eat in the living room when I am settled, for example, ...I just give up on nagging, realizing how insignificant it all is when a need for change is pending. 
•  I notice and have less tolerance for others' less than considerate behaviours but at the same time I do absolutely nothing to try to change them.  I don't even express my feelings about them anymore.
• I am irritable and not nice to be around.
• I have an intense need to run away, to leave everyone and everything in my present experience behind
• I am withdrawn and self protective. I don't want to be around people.
• I need time alone to think, write and meditate.
• I hungrily seek nature...even if it is only to stand out in the sun or to open a window so as to feel the breeze and listen to bird song.  
• I need to pray, meditate, reflect a whole lot more.
• I become selfish and even narcisstic.
• I become less dependent on others
• And the big one...I no longer look forward to the future....with more of the same in it

Of course, these are also all the signs and symptoms of depression, aren't they? Yet...I know from past experience ...that all it takes for me to get beyond these things is a change.

There is an old saying, "A change is as good as a rest." I truly beleive that.

The question is, now as I am evolving ever so slowly: "What type of change is called for?  An internal one or an external one?"

Sometimes I need an internal change to match or deal with the external circumstances of my life.  And sometimes I need an external change, to deal with or match the internal condition of my life.

What I figure I need when I answer that question this time  is an external change to match what is happening inside me. For some reason the  energy of my present environment  and circumstances is not matching my inner  compulsion for peace and harmony. I am choosing, accepting, allowing, and unsuccessfully closing my eyes to things in my outer world that are negatively affecting me and that I have the power to change. 

Hmm!

I need to serioulsy think about what type of changes I need to make..

What about you?  Do you see a need for change in your life?  And if so...is it an internal or external change you need to make?

Something worth considering.

All is well in my life.