To me a book is a message from the gods to mankind; or, if not, should never be published at all.
Aleister Crowley

A little disheartened and I just began lol.  Something happens to me when I begin submitting that I don't like.  My writing becomes work more so than joy.  It also seems like a waste of my precious energy and effort when I go through the back issues of the journals I am submitting to  and see the talent there...see the credentials of that talent...and I compare myself.  Not good!  I think:  "I do not have that degree or that amount of publications" or "Man, can she write!" when I come across a good piece.  My four hour jobbies seem  so pale in comparison. 

I have to stop my thinking from getting out of control...one step to better at a time.  What I am feeling is doubtful and fearful about my abilities to get published and part of me still believes, like most of the population, that if I do not get published I am not a real writer.

That part of me gets activated in the submission process.  Writing  becomes about proving myself, getting external validation...not about just writing from the heart.  I feel guilty and ashamed when I am here because it seems like I am not supporting the "real" part of me that writes for the sake of writing.  Anyway...this is what I have to do.  I have to change those thoughts around.

This is what goes through my head as I view someone else's writing: "I am not as good as this writer they published.  The editors  will laugh or turn their noses up at this piece I am about to send in."

 That thought makes me feel embarrassed about my writing...unworthy and less than.  What do I do about it? 

I counter the thought...very gently into something that makes me feel better...not necessarily great,  but better:

  "Yes she is a very good writer.  She may have more skill than me right now but maybe I can learn from her.  I can get better.  The editors may not like what I submit enough to publish it but maybe they will find some merit in it.  Regardless, I am submitting to submit...leaving the rest to God.  My job is to just do my part in  getting my message  out there. I do not have to worry about other opinion or whether or not I get published.  My deal was simply to write and submit.  I will keep reading these wonderful articles by these amazing writers and I will learn.  I will learn from the experience of submitting and if I get any feedback...I will learn from that.  It is all good. "

There I feel better.  I will send the number three article out today. 

All is well in my world.