Bursting Balloons

A relationship is not meant to be the joining at the hip of two emotional invalids.  The purpose of a relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather, for two complete people to join together for the greater glory of God.
Marianne Williamson

Bursting balloons and bubbles!

I want to soothe your egos a bit.  I know I probably burst some bubbles (or balloons [for the sake of the upcoming analogy]) for those few of you that may have read my entry yesterday. 

Romance is celebrated so much in our culture.  We dream about it, write about it, sing about it and watch it transpire in front of our faces.  We like that fantasy.  It makes us feel good.  It gives us hope.  It is like a balloon we carry with us.  When we feel down or out of sorts, we can look up at the sky where the balloon is floating on the end of the string we cling to...and we feel better.  You don't want anyone coming around with a pin to pop that hope, do you? 





It was not my intention to do that.  I love hope...in whatever version it comes in but I also love truth and wisdom.  You see the bubble that held my fantasies of romance, that I ferociously clung to since I was a little girl hooked on Fairy tales, was never busted.  Though I have experienced heart break and disillusionment many times in my romantic relationships...that didn't make me cynical.  It did not  lead me  to go around with a large pin and a cackling laugh, on a mission to pop everyone's balloons lol. I personally do not like the sound of balloons popping.  :)  In fact...every disappointment only made me more determined to cling to that balloon and hope for the salvation of romantic love in my life.

 It was not cynicism, then, and a lack of hope in the beauty and value of love ...that led me to write what I wrote yesterday.  It was a new awareness and wisdom of Love that led me there. 

For years now, I found myself looking up at the balloon so far above me, so elusive, filled with nothing but air and I questioned.  Why do I; why do we as a culture cling so to something that is basically just a shell holding nothing but air within it? What does it give us in this moment but a sore hand from clinging so and a kink in our neck from looking up?  How can something so fragile...something that could be carried away by a gust of wind, busted by a sharp object or deflated because of outside pressure save us from ourselves? It didn't make sense. 

I needed to know more.  In my desire to wake up I began to find answers and a new awareness about what Love really is emerged.  As  that new awareness gradually grew within me,  the air in my fantasy of love just gradually and without pain slipped out.  It was a graceful and easy process...one in which I found peace...a peace I never truly knew when I was clinging to my balloon.

Balloons carrying the  fantasy will gently loose their air  

It is when I began to understand that most of the emotional turmoil that I wanted love to save me from was simply illusion created by my own thinking, my ego...that the balloon above my head began to deflate and come down to earth for closer examination.

I seen it for what it was. It wasn't solid and real. It was a future projection of a desire for salvation in something outside myself.  "When I find my soul mate; when prince charming comes into my life I will have peace, I will be happy then." Once I seen it merely as a thought form that took me out of my now and gave me very little in my present moment, I realized I didn't need it any more. I didn't need this version of love.

Don't get me wrong...I am not saying I don't need Love anymore because I do...I just don't need the fantasy of romance anymore. 

Love, however, is something I know I am destined for...we are all destined for. It is why we are here.  It is everything. 

Real Love Vs. the Fantasy of Love

Real Love differs greatly from the fantasy of love so many of us are still clinging to. 

There is no neediness in real Love. Why?  To know It is to know that we are already complete in God's Love.  We are whole and perfect beneath our bodies and personalities....though our egos do not want us to go there.   When we know this...truly know this...we do not need  to desperately reach out to another with fear and longing pleading with them to fill us up...to make us complete.   We do not have to crave for something/someone in our future moments to  give us what we think we are lacking. 

No one else can or needs to make us complete.  We already are, right now.

It was when this truth began to settle in my core that I ironically came across a partner that I can be my healthiest with.  We share a relationship, healthier and more mature, than any I have been in before.  Why?  There is much less ego.  My ego, though definitely still there, is less reactive and destructive than it ever was in the earlier experiences of my life and he has very little egoic reactions.  It is not a relationship based on fear, drama, guilt or neediness.  It is a relationship of two complete (or almost complete lol...I still have a long way to go before I reach full realization) individuals who are loving for the sake of loving.  In that regard we are joined together for the greater glory of God...not the greater glory of ego. We love in the moment instead of dreaming of a "better love" in the future. :)

Knowing Love does not start  with  looking up or outward for your salvation but begins by going inward.  See Self beyond the little self...love that Self and than love another. 

From that point... Love all others in this moment.  That's real Love.

All is well in my world.