Breathe into Silence

 Don't listen to the words-listen to breath; listen to body; listen to heart and listen to the flow of Life as it traverses through all. 

Brother Phap Linh

And that is what I did this morning.  I put down my pen and pushed away my notes, closed my eyes and listened.  Though my mind was not on the words, the truth behind them made its way into the very core of me. It was lovely 

The breath and silence go together.  They are what is needed for our healing and we all need healing. In order to heal our wounds we need to rest, to  stop doing for periods of time...and thinking is included in that doing. The compulsive need to interpret,conceptualize and judge everyone and everything is in the way of our healing, our awakening. (Tolle) We are often so lost  in the thoughts in our heads but we are not even there:

  You are not there. All that is there is the egoic mind, the conceptual self saying "This is me and this is my life."  Eckhart Tolle

You are that which observes the thinking, judging, interpreting and conceptualizing.  You are that which  knows it knows nothing. You are in the silence. You are the observing awareness. 

We need to get beyond thinking to the silence.  Breath is the doorway that opens up into the quiet spaciousness of presence. ...into healing...and into awakening.

The simple felt act of breathing, according to Brother Phap Linh, makes the egoic cages we are in dissolve so we can touch Life through the precious moment. We do not control the breath or manipulate it in anyway...we simply observe it.  We are aware we are breathing in when we breathe in, aware  we are breathing out when we breathe out. 

Hmm! Sister True Dedication shares her practice with us.  She tells us that from the very beginning of her journey toward awakening, she was challenging herself to get through ten consecutive breaths without thinking.  Can you do that?  I am trying and it is not as easy as it seems. Every time, a thought comes in, we are to start over. It is a worthy practice goal for all of us. 

Anyway, the universe lined up some teaching for me perfectly this morning.  Grateful.

All is well.

Plum Village/ Brother Phap Linh (August, 2016) Touching Silence.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMduWlYZsIE

Plum Village/ Sister True Dedication (August , 2016) Know Your Body, Know Your Mind/ Sister True Dedication. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vggg6KYmEUM

Eckhart Tolle ( August 2021) How to Practice Self Observation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT3s-pgaEvY

The Pandemic's Language

The world has a soul and anyone who  understands that soul can also understand the language of many things. 

Paulo Coelho

Question 35: How can we understand the pandemic on a metaphysical level? 

 I am fully aware that some of my answers suck! lol I have probably not been in the best frame of mind to answer some of these questions so forgive me.  But as promised, I said I was going to put it all out there without editing.  Making it real people, making it real! 

All is well. 

Locked Rooms and Books In Foreign Languages

 Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers which cannot be given  you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything . Live the questions now. Perhaps then you will gradually, without noticing it , live along some distant day into the answer. 

Rainer Maria Rilke

Oh man.  It is  Two Pm on a cold, and windy afternoon and I am just sitting down to write now.  I am a little out of sorts these days,  flapping around like a flounder washed onto shore by the tides.  Someone put me back in the water please! lol. I feel somewhat overwhelmed and restless, confused about where I am going and why.

These are the questions that keep pounding in my head as I flap around, very unproductively, (questions that were relayed by Sister True Dedication in the linked  video below):

Who am I?

What do I really want in my life?

What am I here, on earth,  to do?

What and who can I trust? What and who can I count on and rely on especially when I feel so overwhelmed?

Where am I going?  Where do I want to go? 

How can I help? 

Do you ever find yourself asking these questions?  Do you know where you are going and why?

Sister True Dedication relays a famous Buddhist story about a man standing at a crossroads watching another man  zoom by on a fast moving horse.  The pedestrian calls out to the man on the horse, "Where are you going?" And the man on the horse answers, "I don't know.  Ask the horse!" 

Ask the Horse

So many of us are at crossroads in our lives wondering what road to take and where it will lead.  We see people moving swiftly and confidently in some direction and want to know where they are going, assuming that it must be in the "right" direction...only to find out they are being carried along by some energy they have so little control of.  Most humans really do not know where they are going.  They have no control of that momentum they are riding, be it the momentum of a collective conditioning, an ego pursuit or the flow of Life itself. Most humans have not tamed the mind enough to have the above questions answered in a clear way. They are too busy unconsciously moving and doing  to even ask them. 

Though I love the Buddhist interpretation of that tale, I look at it a little differently after thoroughly reading the quote above. Rilke in the above quote tells us , it is okay to be carried along if it is Life that is moving us. He is , in a sense, saying that it is better to go with the flow of Life  than it is to stand stuck at crossroads asking questions we just are not capable of answering. 

We need to live the questions knowing that in this incarnation we may never have the answers to them. It is much more important to live them, ask them, love them as we go day to day, trusting that Life is taking us somewhere and that we might actually have the answers met at some point. More important than the answers, however,  is the living.

Hmm!  Does that mean we do not try to tame these minds that are carrying us along, often to unwholesome destinations? Does it mean we should not be skillful riders of Life's energy flow? 

I believe we need to take riding lessons and be committed to a Life practice even though we may not always be able to control the horse or the  destination it takes us in.  We can learn to tame the mind, even if we cannot tame the horse (Life).  I also believe, we need to keep those questions in our heart, ask them, and  live them daily .  We must love the questions  even if the answers lie behind locked doors or in books we cannot read because the language is something we do not yet understand. 

All is well. 

Plum Village ( August,2016) Know Your Body, Know Your Mind/ Sister True Dedication. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vggg6KYmEUM

Neutralizing Karma?

Every moment of your life you perform action-physically, mentally, emotionally and energy -wise. Each action creates a certain memory. That is Karma. 

Sadhguru

Question 34: How Do We Neutralize Karma and Make Up For Sins Before We Die? 

 All is well!

Is Love Blind?

 

Where there is love, there is life.

Mahatma Gandhi

Trying to understand another habit energy that seems to take over if I am not mindful. Netflix! Here I am so tired lately, letting the house get a little bit more messy than I am comfortable with, wanting more time to do what I love to do (write)   and get my stuff out there...yet instead of being" productive"  I  find myself using the evening hours to binge on Netflix. I won't watch TV until after 7 but I stay up until One in the morning watching Love is Blind, of all things. 

Love is Blind? Are You Looking For Romance Or Something? 

I used to be a romantic, seeking for years, like many of these characters on this reality series, my "soul mate", assuming my life would be incomplete until I found him.  That has changed so much in my waking up process. I am the farthest thing from a "romantic" there could ever be these days. I now have this understanding of Love that differs so much from the way I used to view it.  I do not seek things or others to fill in some hole inside me either ..and I am not just saying that because I am in a committed relationship by society's terms...I am saying that because I am no longer "attached" to that need for someone else to make "me" whole.  (I am even questioning what a "me" is) . Even if the relationship I have right now were to end, I would be sad for sure, but I would not lose any sense of who I really am. When I hear the characters on the screen  say things like "You fulfill me" or "I can't go on without you, you are why I am happy. " I find myself talking very sternly to them through the barrier of screen and distance: ..."Stop it!  That is attachment not Love. No one can make you happy, no one or no thing outside you can fulfill you.  Your expectations are going to cause suffering for you and your partner. Love is so much more than that!"  Of course, they do not hear me and they continue on their merry heart breaking  ways toward a certain suffering they could have  prevented with  less clinging lol.

 My deeper Self tells me to shut  off the TV and go to bed, or at the very least switch back to the Anna Karina series on Ruku I started because that, at least,  is a classic. I love watching classic literature portrayed on the screen. Instead of watching classics, however, I am watching shows like this. I like to think of myself as more evolved. Still here I am sitting glued to my chair from one episode to the next. I am, I tell myself, consumed by my "guilty" obsession.  ("Guilty"...becasue I tell myself I have evolved beyond all this  so why am I giving the ego what it wants?) 

I Keep Watching Anyway 

It is not just the romantic attachments that bother me either. It is also what the characters are seemingly attached to outside their pods and romantic bubbles I growl at. I do not find any need for superficial acceptance and allure anymore.  I am not into how I look at all and who I might attract. Haven't been for a very long time.  The idea of sitting in front of a mirror applying make up for hours and dressing in the latest fashions...just leaves me with a "What the fork  for?" I was never really  in to that very much.  I still care for my body but not the appearance of my body. Yet there I am glued to a screen of beautifully dressed and made up faces attached to all the superficial things the physical world provides.

Why Do Such Shows Bother Me 

They bother me because they portray Ego's World where I was for so long, where so many still are.  None of it makes sense to me anymore and such pursuits seem to be a waste of valuable human energy that could be directed elsewhere. I spent most of my life to date doing what these characters were doing ( maybe with a lot less need for glamour, make up and fashion) but I had the same goals and mission statements.  Now I see that I was treading down an unwholesome  path, led by ego rather than the part of me that knew what was really important. I suffered on this path...big time.  To watch people as delusional as I was go down similar paths is frustrating. 

They also bother me because they make me realize that my ego is still lingering around, drawing me in. I get mad and disappointed with myself. The voices are reprimanding "me" for slipping, "Look at you consumed by unwholesome habit energy. You are more evolved than that!"  they shout.  I hear them...but still there I am in my seat, hour after hour, watching the drama play out on the screen.

Maybe, part of me feels "old"...like that part of my life is over.  Even as I see the unskillfulness of those perceptions I had back then when I was pursuing romance and other types  of social adventure that was dramatized on this series...it was exciting to look into the "Whens" of future hopes and dreams, you know? Fantasizing such a life and this idea of "happiness" that will be reached when the dream comes true can be fun, you know?  That part of my life, that step in my evolution, is over...part of me, another ego part, probably misses that and that is why this show bothers me. It reminds me of what I am missing.

So if You Don't like it, why do you keep watching?

Hmm! So why the heck, did I watch both seasons of the American version....as well as the Brazilian and the Japanese series...staying up past one in the morning when my body is so bloody tired and craving sleep?That is the real question I ask myself.  The first answer to that question is because it is so bloody numbing. I don't have to "think" my way through it like I would Anna Karina. It just carries me away.  And I have been feeling so desperate lately to be carried away from the stress of circumstances surrounding me. A Netflix binge is like a lovely glass of wine...not good for me but making me feel, at least for a few hours, that everything is okay. [ I stopped drinking wine btw when I recognized the attachment for numbing was growing].

 My ego , in some sense of spiritual superiority, is also enjoying being "right"...being able to see what the characters have yet to see.  I feel so much more advanced in my understanding of Life than they are.  I feel superior.  Now that is not a wholesome reason, is it? lol

Recognizing and Looking Deeply

So recognizing this habit energy, and looking deeply into the cause of it was quite enlightening for me.  Boring for you, maybe, but enlightening for me. 

Oh well...I watched every episode there was.  Let's hope a new season doesn't come out soon.  

All is well! 

This is an article I wrote on Romantic Love: (page 11)

http://www.aquarianonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Enlighten-Up-with-The-Aquarian-Winter-2017-issue.pdf

And this is an article I wrote on finding what is really Important :  (page 3)

http://www.aquarianonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Enlighten-Up-Spring-2018.pdf

The Greatest Distraction

 

Happiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions.

Saul Bellow

Question 33: What is Our Greatest Distraction? 

All is well.

Seen or Unseen

  as we look not to the the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, and the the things that are unseen are eternal. 

2 Corinthians 4: 18

Man...did I ever get way laid this morning.  Ego took me on another little trip down, Do they listen? Do they read me? Do they "get" me? lane.   I  checked the stats page again looking to see if "I" ( whoever that is)  was  seen.  One of the  videos "I" did was up so I listened to that one, and another would pop up and I would listen to that and on and on I went like Narcissus looking at his reflection in the lake. It surprises me when I see this side of me still so active. I feel almost ashamed of it after all my practice to dis entangle myself from its clutches.  I am still looking towards the seen.  Ego, in search of  the "other" recognition (the seen) it craves and finding little ( anywhere from 6 -20 viewers), settled with looking at itself.  It  kind of liked what it saw  (kind of lol) and that kept me viewing "myself" rather than writing here.  

Now, before this,  "Deeper I" always appreciated the videos because of the message and the intention behind them but ego always avoided looking at them.  It was embarrassed but there it was this morning judging  some of them as "not too bad!".  It also stroked itself with,  "They may not listen; they may not read me and they may not "get" me but I do. " 

The seen are all those things of secondary importance ego craves...like success, relationships, abundance, recognition, and even health. All these things can be found on the superficial level of existence and are impermanent and constantly changing. What is of primary importance, however, can not be seen.   It is the spaciousness found in the depth of who we really  are and it will never change.  Does it not make more sense to look towards that? . 

Man...someday I will be completely free of ego, won't I? I will stop looking towards the transient things that can be seen and instead will be focusing almost all my attention on that which is unseen and eternal?  Someday I will put away my egoic quests and be completely and happily immersed in the quests of Deeper I.

All is well. 

Are You A Martha or A Mary?

 "Martha, Martha", Jesus answered.  "You are upset and worried  about many things but few things are needed-or indeed  only one.  Mary has chosen what is better  and it will not be taken away  from her." 

Luke 10:38-42 NIV

In another Eckhart Tolle video that I listened to today I was reminded of the familiar parable in the bible where Jesus visits the home of two sisters Mary and Martha.  While Martha was scurrying around trying to prepare lunch and serve her guests, Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen to what He had to say.  She chose presence and being over doing.  Martha, frustrated with her sister, went to Jesus and asked Him to tell Mary to help her with the busy work. He responded by telling her that it was Mary who was doing what was important...or should I say,  her "not doing" was more important than Martha's doing. He, was of course, speaking to the busyness much of us get lost in and how difficult it is for us to simply sit and be.  

Tolle, in the below linked video,  teaches that we have needs and intentions in our lives, some are of  secondary importance  and some , well "one" is primary. What is of primary importance is our pure awareness of who we are, of what "heaven" is.  It is our being that is of primary importance , not our doing.  Mary, was attempting to reach that place of pure awareness that Jesus was teaching about  by simply "being there" and  listening.  Martha, on the other hand, lost in  her  busy mind of upset and worry, lost in her busy doing,  was putting all her energy towards that which was not so important. 

Where are you putting your energy?

In terms of manifesting what is it that you want to manifest...the rewards of doing or the rewards of being? Are you seeking what is of primary importance or that which is of secondary importance? 

My ego wants to redeem me, sometimes, from this place of insufficiency and inadequacy which has been aggravated by my present set of circumstances.  (I dream constantly about going back to work in the real world...about achieving that sense of social recognition, stable income and productivity again... of returning to my Martha like state. ) Ego has a hard time accepting that that part of my life is over so it turns this need "to do" , to "achieve"  in another direction. It wants to accomplish that feeling of "worldly fulfillment" by using that which comes so naturally to me, that  which is more about who I am than what I do- my writing. Ego is attempting to redeem this injured sense of self through some form of writing success ( success in superficial terms ). Hmmm! 

When I stop and think about it, I know that worldly success is truly  not that important to me .  The most important thing in my life, right now, is learning like Mary did, going deeper and discovering who I really am beyond all these ideas of "me", beyond my thoughts and aspirations. I do not need to fulfill my ego...I need to fulfill my being. 

Hmmm!  All is well in my world.

tech community world/ Eckhart Tolle (March, 2022) Concious Manifesting 2022 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UPdk4Y0p4M

On Achieving Success

 Your life is not determined by what you achieve or do not achieve.  Your life is determined by your state of consciousness in the present moment.

Eckhart Tolle

I have been feeling down.  I mean I wake up at night and feel a heaviness over me, this weight of uncertainty and sadness.  I just become consumed with the knowledge of all those around me who are suffering. My whole body feels heavy when I get up to the washroom or go get a glass of water.  My "reaction" to life circumstance has become physical. 

Heavy 

Heavy. Of course, I feel heavy mostly from the energy of suffering all around me and I am trying to understand it: Is it Karma? Is it random coincidence?  What am I and others meant to learn from it? I am trying to accept it so I can transmute it.  I am trying to embrace it and look deeply into it.  I am trying to go deeper because of it so I will know what to "do" with it...but man it just feels so heavy sometimes that I   think it will squash me under its weight before I understand it. 

Skeptical Doubt

I also feel down because lately  I don't feel I am getting anywhere with my writing. I, because of the heaviness, am experiencing a lot of skeptical doubt about choosing this medium of expression as my life's work, as a means of service. My life's work, a means of service?  Really...even saying that out loud sounds quite grandiose and  ridiculous to me. Still,  I feel this "karmic cloud ", if that is what it is, interfering with my life's purpose. When I say that out loud, it sounds even more ridiculous lol.  I just feel this heaviness as a veil  moving in to all aspects of my life...into the area I have been focusing on for redemption purposes, interfering with the flow of Grace and Ease,  preventing me from "manifesting" that which I wish to manifest. ( for lack of a better word, I use "manifest") . I was hoping my writing would redeem me, save me. I am definitely dealing with the fifth hindrance , skeptical doubt. 

Not Manifesting? 

Why? Why am I doubting?  Because I have yet to receive any true notoriety for my writing and monetary reward?  In society's terms ...I am not achieving success. I thought, with everything else so challenging around me, if I could "gain something" from my writing...just make enough, maybe,  so I can stop the worrying about getting by or be validated so I know I am on the right path... This, I believed,  would  balance out circumstances so they were less heavy. 

Now I know I write for the sheer joy of writing...that is success in its truest form.  I know  what I write about, as "kooky" and "woo-woo" as it may seem to others, is what I am  meant to  write about.  It is a message I am supposed to share and I couldn't stop doing it if I wanted to.  Whether I make a dime from my writing or reach any reader out there...I am going to keep doing what I am doing.

Eckhart Tolle, in Conscious Manifesting 2022,  reminds us to be fully engaged in the doing.  If you enjoy what you are doing in the present moment, that is success. 

I want this message out there, I do and not for egoic reasons.  I want to serve.  I want my actions, my thoughts and my words to be of benefit to the world.  Yet my stats are showing that this portion of my writing work...is not being well received. It is not getting out there.  Realizing that  increases this heaviness in me. Sure ego gets bumped and bruised up by that realization (ego wants to identify itself as a successful writer/teacher)  but it goes deeper than that.  I have to question if what I am doing here is of any benefit to anyone, really?  And I wonder if the Universe has other plans for me that I am for some reason blind to. Am I too attached to this means of service when I should be doing something else? So much of my energy is going into this blog when at the present time it is serving such a small population.  I mean it is enough...it is always enough if I reach one person, even if that person is me...but is there some other means I am supposed to be using? I do write articles .  
I do write books.  I do write poetry and fiction.  And I do submit...a bit.  Maybe I need to focus more on those genres and getting that stuff out there?  Regardless this blog is my practice and I am pulled here every day regardless of outcome.  Hmm! Then I wonder if the service I am provide has nothing to do with writing? 

Our Actions Are Changing the World 

This is what I have been wondering about, adding to the heaviness I wake up with at night , and then serendipitously I come across this video this morning.  Tolle also reminds us in the same video,

They will change the world, even if you don't see how. 

My thoughts, my words and my actions will have an effect on the world even if I never discover how in this life time.  Why?  Because they come from a higher place than ego.. I am putting that energy out there I may never know that I have achieved "success" in this life time, that doesn't mean I am not successful in my service to the world. 

Success, in worldly terms, will never bring who I truly am what it wants and needs and it will only satisfy the ego for so long.  If I become attached to this idea of success...continue to seek to redeem myself with an identity of "successful writer" I may fall back into ego motivation when what I really really want is much deeper than that. I want to awaken to the truth...to get beyond my need for worldly success. 

At the same time I know there is nothing wrong with this type of success...if we see it as something we can play with.  So I submit my stuff, I write here and elsewhere. I am committed to my practice putting many, many hours into it. According to the "10000 hour rule", it takes 10,000 hours of committed effort to gain mastery of a skill. I think I am beyond my 10,000 hour apprenticeship...so maybe I am ready for the success to come so I can  reap the harvest of the fruit  of my actions, so I can play with "success" in a detached way? Or maybe I am not? 

So let's look at what we need to do to manifest success in our chosen "life's work"

• We can set our intention briefly and then let it go
• look into our core beliefs that tell us we are not worthy to achieve and deal with those
• Need to put in the effort and the hours of practice, committed to what we are doing as a process
• Need to enjoy what we are doing, doing it for the love of it
• Gently push ego out of the picture and be aware when ego steps back in
• Need to be detached from the outcome...knowing that true success is simply in the enjoyment of what we do and not to get lost in the idea of "worldly success" 
• There has to be an element of service to what we do 
• Need to be ready for such power: conscious and aware enough, established and grounded in a deeper motivation and stability so we can handle success, without falling back into ego motivations
• We need to trust that the Universe will provide when we are ready to receive

Hmmm! Inspired again.  So here I am. 

All is well! 

tech community world/Eckhart Tolle (Feb 22, 2022) Conscious Manifesting 2022 Part 2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcKFnjShvj4

Taming Tigers

 

We are more than our anger, we are more than our suffering.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Question 31: What is meant by taming the angry tiger with a lotus thread? 

All is well !

Including Self

 If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

The Buddha

How can we love if at first we do not know how to love ourselves.

Br. Phap Huu ( missing accents) 

A Body Reminder to Care About Self

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by everything that has been happening around me lately.  And my body is manifesting that sense of overwhelm.  I noticed on Thursday when I was helping my daughter with a very stressful and physically demanding task, and again yesterday when I was playing with my grand daughter out in the snow, that I am having more cardiac symptoms than I have had in a long while. I am so fatigued and Short of Breath, to the point of dizziness, on exertion. There is a pretty persistent pressure in my chest and occasionally pain in my left forearm when I am active.  Though there has always been a very audible "click"(quite benign) from a misbehaving mitral valve , that I could hear so clearly in my left ear , the more serious  murmur associated with it  was not often heard.  Now I hear the "whooshing" in my ear all the time indicating that that poor old floppy valve could be losing its adaptive power.  I should have been expecting this, I suppose. I was told by surgeons years ago that I would probably need a repair or a replacement in my 60's but 60 always seemed so far away and "probably" was not "definitely".  Besides,  I had since then moved away from a physical focus to a deeper one when it comes to healing the body and mind.  The mind became my focus. I had convinced myself that if I dealt with the PTSD, and used suffering to awaken, the heart would not be a significant issue...The real issue issue will always be the mind, which includes my  understanding this  physical and emotional response to trauma I had all my life. I felt like I was getting somewhere...able to do yoga an hour a day, to walk, to dance around with the babies.  I was truly convinced  that since I no longer had to deal with the extra physical and mental stress of work....my heart issue would become completely obsolete. 

I was healing.  I have healed tremendously...but Life keeps doing what Life does and whether I  am paying off some karmic debt or if this is all just random coincidence...the stressors keep piling on top of me ( perception only).  Lately my mind has been  a little overwhelmed by it all.  The energy of my body is simply following  the energy of my mind. I feel drained but I don't stop at those times.  These symptoms no longer scare me. What they could lead to no longer scares me either.  It simply is what it is.  I have very little fear over what my body might do.  So very little fear of death. At the same time recognizing this sense of "physical" overwhelm and my tendency to ignore it as much as I can so I can assist or bring joy to others,   made me ask, "Why don't you honor and care for this body, this mind, as much as you do for others?  Why don't you feel the same amount of compassion for this idea of "self" as you do for others and their ideas of "self"?"

Inter-being and Compassion

I listened to Br Phap Huu today  when he gave dharma talks in 2017 on  being at home.  He spoke near the end of  one his talks about inter being...how someone else's wellness, joy, or achievement is our wellness, joy and achievement. I agreed so much, seeing that in myself.  And then he went on to say that our wellness, joy and achievement is someone else's.  Then I had an aha moment.  Though I feel the joy or suffering of others so acutely, believing whole heartedly that that is the way it is suppose to be, I do not view my wellness or my suffering as having any value to others.  My suffering does not seem to be that important  so I don't have the same compassion for myself as I do for other beings. Hmm! 

Inter-being includes Self, and Compassion must include Self too.  Hmm!

All is well! 

Having compassion begins and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections we didn't even want to look at.

Pema Chodron

Plum Village (August, 2017) Taking Care of Ourselves First/ dharma Talk with Br. phap Huu. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0OF3X6aEwo

Plum Village ( December, 2017) Being at Home, Enriching Our Practice/Dharma Talk with Br. Phap Huu.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cHfgCSIB78

Is War Justified?

 

Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit.  You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.

Martin Luther King Jr

Question 31: Is war ever justified? 

I know this is a heated question right now. I know with what is going on in the Ukraine many people would say , "Yes!  Yes! Yes!" .  Le's exhaust every effort imaginable to assist the Ukrainians before we say "Yes!" to war.

I also want to make it known that I value the intentions and courage of those who enlist and make up our military forces . So many have given up their lives with the intention of serving us and making our lives better.  Please know this is not a slight against any of those who have seen battle...just looking at the "idea" of war. 

All is well! 

We do not need guns and bombs to bring peace. We need love and compassion.

Mother Teresa

Being Guided Towards Compassion

 It is said you should not seek for Buddhahood outside yourself; the substances for the seeds of Buddhahood are within...all beings naturally have the seeds of Buddhahood in their own continuum, we have within us the seeds of purity...

The Dalai Lama

Serendipity Reinforcing The Need For Compassion 

Serendipity came into my experience of life  again this morning.  Yesterday I was writing about this sense of suffering I was experiencing in relation to witnessing and being a target for the unconscious projection of suffering onto the world. I could see that blaming, punishing  and hating those who seem to hate was not the answer to diminishing this collective suffering energy. I spoke of the need for more compassion , less labeling and less focus on punishment when  dealing with "offenders".  I was thinking about that  this morning when  a video showed up on my viewing list from Thich Nhat Hanh.(see below)   

Om Mani Padme Hum

Then later on, this chanting meditation seemed to be asking me to play it.  So I did .  It was so soothing. The chant was Om Mani Padme Hum. I had no idea what it meant so I looked it up.  The words of the mantra itself mean, The jewel is in the  lotus and it is a chant for evoking the embodiment of compassion, and awakening our buddha nature .  Hmm! 

Anyway, thought I  would share that.

All is well!

Plum Village/Thich Nhat Hanh (February, 2022) How Can I not Suffer When People are Not Good to this World? /Thich Nhat Hanh Answers Questions.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhLMho1bbSo

Acerting Art (Nov, 2017) Om Mani Padme Hum Chant. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq3eIaKQvfE

Shambhala Publications (n.d.) Jeffrey Hopkins What Om Mani Pradme Hum Means. https://www.shambhala.com/snowlion_articles/om-mani-padme-hum-dalai-lama/

Appearances: Beyond The Need For the Good Opinion Of Others

Caring what others think is the biggest jail one  can put oneself in .

Durjoy Datta

Question 30: Don't you care how you look?

All is well!

Healing With Compassion

If you have enough compassion you will not be overwhelmed by the collective energy of suffering all around us.

Thich Nhat Hanh

I am wondering if I have enough compassion because I am close to being overwhelmed by the suffering around me. Oh man it feels like my heart is breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking.  

I wanted to proceed differently with an external life circumstance I have been dealing with recently ...wanted myself and others to continuously see the essence beyond the actions, words and thoughts of another who was acting out so unconsciously and destructively.  I did...I wanted all to operate with that innocence in mind, in hope of a better consequence, while at the same time ensuring safety and wellness for all. I wanted there to be learning, growth and kindness, not punishment. I had a strong feeling we had to proceed a certain way, collecting our evidence, lining our ducks up in a row before warning and making it clear what consequences could follow. I then  wanted to offer the opportunity for choice making , giving those who needed it the opportunity to choose healing and true recovery over the alternative. I thought that would be best for all.    But in lining up our ducks that element of choice was taken away from the person who truly needs the  healing the most. The "system" and the well intentioned individuals within it took over and there will be punishment, harsh punishment. 

I tell myself "I didn't do anything wrong!" This was never mine but somehow I made it mine. Even though I too was a target, I was always only  in a supportive role, definitely hoping that the least punitive direction would be effective.   It was never my action to take or my choice to make but I knew I could influence. Did I influence enough or too much? When others suggested a particular action that wasn't  what I planned on...I agreed, thinking it could help  us in our ( my) plan  to gently but firmly help others to make choices that would be beneficial for all...to ensure what happened would never happen again.  Much to our surprise, however, the power was taken from us  and because  I agreed to support this  particular action, I feel so guilty. We did not intend this. We did not want this for this person...no matter what was thought, said or done.  I wanted healing, not more suffering!

Now I know what the statistics show about this type of thing.  I saw the often reported  pattern clearly from the beginning.  I knew how high risk it all was, how dangerous it could be...how awful it was already!  But I also know in my core now...hating the hater is never the best approach to dealing with the collective energy of suffering. . The "hater" is each and every one of us...unconsciously suffering and acting out on that suffering, being led by what Eckhart Tolle refers to as "the pain body".  The "hater" is not who this person truly is. And this "acting out" is just evidence of the collective suffering energy that vibrates all around us and through us, all the time.  

There is so much suffering in this age group and it is so easy to be overwhelmed by it. So many are overwhelmed by it, conditioned to act out and project their pain, getting lost in it and as a result are unable to touch the seeds of compassion within themselves...But..but  those seeds are still there. I know that!  I honestly believe if we could approach such acting out  with compassion we would foster more compassion.  When we approach with hate, fear  and labels...we only see the need for punishment, and  foster more hate.  That is what I believe.

In order to stop individuals from acting out in their suffering we need to get to the roots of such suffering, the roots of collective suffering and re-channel that energy towards compassion, the seeds of which we all have in store consciousness.  We are all capable of compassion.  Beneath our hurting, our conditioning, our personalities is the essence of who we really are...and that Self is a compassionate, loving Self...not a hater. 

As Eckhart Tolle  says, Presence is always deeper than the personality.  We need to see the presence in ourselves and one another, no matter what we do.  This will both require compassion and it will also foster compassion.  It will lead to much needed healing in this world. 

All is well! 

A Reminder to Detach

 My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome (Om Anandham Namah)...As I let go of the need to arrange my life the universe brings abundant good to me. 

Deepak Chopra

Blissfully Free or Arranging? 

Are your actions blissfully free from attachment to outcome? Or are you still very busy trying to arrange your life? 

On Day 13 of  Deepak Chopra's meditation series  I am reminded about how we need to detach from outcome.  Our attachment to how things "should" turn out often leads to a great deal of frustration, effort and struggle to enforce or manipulate  our lives and the external world in order to achieve a certain outcome. This adds to the  suffering we experience and instead of getting us closer to the "thing" we want to achieve...it seems to keep that "thing" farther away.

"Things" according to Earnest Holmes, "are always results and never make themselves." Things are those objects of reality that are the results of the energy we put out there. They are forms in time and space we may desire or wish to realize. Time and space, however,  are limitations of the physical world. If we adhere to those limitations we will struggle constantly to get what we want from life. We will be limited. 

Pure Possibility? 

Deepak Chopra  tells us, in this mediation prelude, that Opportunities are unlimited and there is no space or time. What exists is pure possibility, pure potentiality that we operate through our thoughts, beliefs and intentions.  Therefore we need to be very mindful of what we are thinking and learn to create and activate healthier belief systems and attention focus.  

Mindfulness First

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that we are often blocked from experiencing Life's bounty because of suffering we may be refusing to look at. Mindfulness helps us to touch all the emotions and core beliefs  we have stuffed inside us and it also help us to touch the wonders of Life in this very moment. (Healing is Possible in every Moment; 2013) 

We need to be very mindful of what we are experiencing in each and every moment, what we are thinking, believing, feeling...accept it, embrace it, look deeply into those core beliefs that are behind it all  and with mindfulness gently release those beliefs and trapped emotions that no longer serve us.  Then we need to plant healthier, more wholesome seeds into our subconscious, intend for a better way of being, better experiences  and then let go of how things turn out.  

Trust the Source

  Go directly to the source that lies within and proclaim your intention...detach from all expectations of out come by allowing everyone and everything the freedom to be exactly as they are.  Except uncertainty and witness the solutions and opportunity that  spontaneously spring from it and then step into the field of all possibility remaining open to its affinity of choices.  Deepak Chopra

It is my desire to detach from any outcome related to what I do here or with my writing in general.  I want to do it for the sake of doing it and not for what "I" ( this little clump of flesh that I erroneously believe is doing what I do here, separately and independently,  and who will alone reap any rewards should they come)  may gain from it. . And though  most of these actions are free from attachment to outcome and I am not changing anything to attract more readers...though I can honestly say I love these actions and regardless of outcome I will continue to do them...I would be lying if I said they were always  "blissfully" free of attachment to outcome. I still check my stats page everyday.  I still check my analytics. I still get confused and frustrated. Hmm!  But after a moment or two I let it all go.  I realize the bounty I have right here , right now, set a silent intention  for this work to do whatever it is meant to do, reach whomever it is meant to reach, and that I continue to make ends meat in the doing of it...then I let it go.  

I sit myself down , roll up my sleeves and type whatever is coming through me with so little struggle and so much joy.  

Hmmm!

All is well in my world. 

Om AnandhamNamah.... 

Deepak Chopra/Chopra Center (March, 2021) 21 Day Meditation Series on Abundance. Spotify 

Earnest Holmes (2007) The Wisdom of Earnest Shurtleff Holmes . Wilder Publications, Kindle Edition

Plum Village/ Thich Nhat Hanh ( March, 2013) Healing is Possible at Every Moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzCWBpS67jg

Stretch Yourself to the Limit

 

The big challenge is to become all that you have the possibility of becoming. You cannot believe what it does to the human spirit to maximize your human potential and stretch yourself to the limit.

Jim Rohn 

Question 29: What Stops Us From Reaching Our Full Potential

All is well! 

Loving What We Do And Trusting Future Payment

 If you love your work, if you enjoy it, you're already a success. 

Jack Canfield

Here I am again, showing up for work, sitting at my desk, doing what I feel needs to get done.  My boss is the muse behind me directing my fingers to keep up with the ideas she puts in my mind. And I, in some type of dictated  shorthand, am jotting down what I am told to.  Sigh! 

I do not get paid by the hour or even by salary.  I get paid retroactively on commission lol.  Still waiting for the check to come in the mail.  I have to have faith that it will. In the meantime, I just enjoy what I am doing, right here, right now. 

All is well! 

Accept What Is and Effortless Ease Will Follow

 Accept all people and circumstance in your life exactly as they are.  Take responsibility for your life without blaming your self knowing that everything is  as it should be.  Practice defenselessness and relinquish the need to convince or persuade others of your point of view. 

Deepak Chopra

Still pondering the idea of Karma and how  I "appear" to be standing in the ring with Life circumstance.  My heart is constantly aching these days for all those around me that I see suffering.  For me, as I advance a bit beyond me-ness ( as slow as that process may be) the sense of suffering  I experience comes from observing and then feeling the suffering of others.  That is what "my" so called major challenges are . There just seems to be so much suffering that I absorb. So I picture myself as a passive contender in the ring with life circumstance...not attacking or defending myself from the blows coming my way.  At the same time I accept and allow each jab of circumstance, I am still wanting more than this ring experience.  That is what I have been writing about over the last few entries.  There seemed to be  so much left to say about it when I awoke this morning. As if hearing my request for learning and expression, the Universe intervened.  It  is so very uncanny  how this meditation series landed on my lap when it did and how after I write here about being in the ring and not fighting back , I run across the meditation in the 21 day series from Deepak Chopra on Abundance that speaks, to what I wrote about.  All so uncanny. 

The universe is an elegantly  orchestrated symphony.  When our body/mind is in concert with the universe everything becomes spontaneous and effortless and the exuberance of the universe flows through us in joyful ecstasy.  Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra explains that there is something called the Law of Least Effort. This law comes into effect through trusting that everything in the universe is as it should be. If we act in harmony with nature and with the motivation of love we will experience effortless ease.  We will see that we do not get abundance through struggle. We will be able to "do" less and accomplish more. 

First, however,  we must practice acceptance. We must stop fighting or defending ourselves against Life.  We must stop struggling with the moment because, as Deepak Chopra tells us,When we struggle against this moment we are actually struggling against the universe. 

That is exactly what I am doing in this proverbial ring.  I am learning to passively stand there allowing life circumstance to hit me without lifting so much as a finger in defense or attack.  I am not struggling with Life...as a result I am not getting knocked down...which is a big accomplishment all by itself. 

So I am where I need to be before I am able to expect and accept abundance to flow easily to me. 

I was up with a suffering loved one until three in the morning as the reality and gravity  of this experience and everything she went through and tried to deny over the last several months came crashing down on her.  There was so much, "Why?  Why did this have to happen to me." I just listened and supported encouraging her to allow the feelings to pass through her. I absorbed every bit of that pain. This is why I feel like I am in a ring with my arms down. 

My conscious intention then, from this place of allowing and accepting, is not just for me but for  all the suffering others in this story...May they learn to accept and allow what is.  May they learn  to take responsibility for their lives without blaming Self or other,.  May they know that everything is as it should be...in perfect order.  May they be able to put down their defenses and the need to convince others of their innocence in this matter. May they soon realize  effortless ease  in their beautiful lives. 

All is well in my world. 

Deepak Chopra/ Chopra Center( March, 2021) 21 Day Meditation on Abundance. Spotify

Who Is In The Classroom ?

 

You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something.  They Just do it.

J.D. Salinger

Who the heck is in the classroom? 

I am so totally baffled by statistics.  I don't understand any of it, not sure who is accessing my site other than the small amount of information supplied by my stats page and Google analytics and that is so freaking confusing lol.  What shows up in analytics is a small portion of what shows up on my stats page. Though the blog stats pick up viewers from all over the world...analytics only shows Canada and USA? The viewers from the States are showing up in analytics now but even that is  showing a bounce rate  anywhere from 60 -100%...closer to 100 %...Still there are always "new viewers" registered from four  cities. ..possibly    telling me that maybe people are being "referred"  to my site from the same referrer but are not interested once they tap in. ??? I am perfectly okay with that. I know this content and method of teaching is not for everyone.  I am very grateful to the referrer, if that is the case,  and I hope I have not offended anyone  in my confusion. 

A Familiar Way Of Teaching

This is a weird experience for me.  My experience with teaching, prior to this, was in a classroom where I could  see how many people showed up for my lectures.  I could see who was interested in what I had to say and who wasn't. I could observe confusion and disinterest  on the faces of the students in front of me and could quickly  switch gears and rephrase what I said for better comprehension.  I could change the inflection and tone of my voice when I noticed people were staring to dose off.  If that didn't work, I could change my strategy.  I could  see the few on their cell phones or side barring and called them on it if I felt it was necessary.  I knew who was ready for what I had to say and who wasn't; who wanted to be in my lectures and who didn't. I could call upon the disinterested and the struggling after class for more clarification as to what I  could do to help them understand or make the learning experience better for them.  I would ask them if they really wanted to be where they were. ...giving them the opportunity to make other choices. And I opened up the floor every lecture to questions and comments.  I asked for feedback throughout the semester even before the official course evaluation at the end of every term. I really wanted to get through to all my students. I wanted to encourage them and inspire them.  I really wanted them to learn and advance forward. I put a lot of energy into teaching and I was good( if we want to use a judgement term) at what I did.  I had the feedback to validate that what I was doing was effective and appreciated even( my ego did get quite puffy...sigh!) . 

The Strangeness of This

My ego is definitely not inflated here because I have no idea if I am standing in front of an empty classroom or if the lecture hall is full of very, very quiet students. I really don't know. There is no verbal and nonverbal feedback directed my way.  So sometimes it feels a little strange...like I am teaching an A & P class with my skeleton beside me, my power point on the screen behind me and I am passing along  organ models to empty desks.  Imagine if someone peeked in and seen me doing that everyday...lol...they would be a little worried. Yet this is what I am doing , coming here everyday because it feels like my job...so, so important for some reason I don't understand. I may never know who I am reaching. . I am lecturing away anyway, possibly to an empty classroom. 

It is funny, I am suddenly  recalling how sometimes the janitor would come to me after a lecture and say, "I heard what you said in there and it made a lot of sense."  Hmm!  Maybe I have a near  empty classroom for now but there might be someone in the hall listening and needing to hear what I have to say.  Do you think? 

All is well in my world. 

Stinking Rich

 

When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.

Tony Robbins

Question #28: Is it wrong to want to be stinking rich? 

I should say too...there is nothing "wrong"  with this intention as long as it is aligned with karmic law, that you are conscious and aware of cause and effect... meaning that actions used to achieve this goal are not hurting anyone or anything. 

All is well! 

Om Kriyam Namah

 

What I learned from Day 10 of Deepak Chopra's 21 day meditation series. 

We can always choose again. 

When you go to make that singular choice , it should nourish you and everyone else influenced  by your actions. This is the law of Karma or conscious choice making.

True abundance or affluence is the ability to fulfill one's true desires with minimal effort. 

There is a stewardship related to karma:   responsibly caring for something we value as a path to realizing our dreams...

Every action we take generates a force of energy that returns to us in kind.  

"As we sow, so shall we reap." 

As we make conscious choices to care for what we have, more will be given to us.. 

The law of karma reminds you to consciously sow the seeds of abundance and tend to them with the upmost kindness and care. Soon you will enjoy the plentiful fruit of your loving choices.

...ask the heart for guidance in conscious choice making..."will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and to those who are affected by this choice. "... Listen to your heart for the answer and you will always make the conscious choice.

"Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness" 

Om Kriyam Namah =My actions are aligned with cosmic law

-Deepak Chopra

Heart is still so heavy thinking about the suffering of those hurting right now, swirling in the consequences of their actions and ours.  We did not intend this...we just intended safety and protection...that's all...and wanted to know how to proceed without denying the rights of the other. We did not intend to add to the suffering of someone already suffering so much. The decision was taken from us ...by the laws of Karma.  

Each and everyone of us are responsible for our choices...what we think, say and do....whether we are suffering or not  It is an energy we put out there...if it is not conscious, not loving, and negatively impacts others...if we are not in alignment with universal law...what we put out there will come back to us. We will suffer. 

This suffering, however, can be a means of realigning us...making us more conscious and aware so that we are back on the path of loving kindness. I like to think that will be the case here. Hmmm! 

All is well. 

The Movement of Karma

 

Karma moves in two directions. If we act virtuously, the seed we plant will result in happiness.  If we act non-virtuously, suffering results.

 Lipham

My heart is breaking for all involved in this latest  circumstance I am dealing with. I don't see villain or victim. I don't see someone to applaud or someone to boo and hiss at.  I just see one big messy ball of suffering...so much unconsciousness, so much pain sucking many in, spitting many out.  It is just a mess.  This is suffering.  

My loved one and I did not want to add to that suffering in anyway.  She is like me, and can see and feel compassion for the pain that lead to a terrifying ride of cause and effect (Karma)  in which she was the target. Honesty and concern for all parties led to a big consequence for someone that will cause even more suffering for this person. ..temporarily at least. 

Unconsciousness just brews and spews pain. Acting out in our unconsciousness turns that pain into suffering.  Man...my heart breaks when I look at this ball of suffering before me.  

I just hope that learning, and healing will come from this.  I truly do.

All is well!

Is it Too Much to Ask for a Change in Life Circumstance?

To accomplish great things we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe.

 Anatole France

I know it sounds like whining and complaining when I write  about being bombarded by life circumstances. In a sense, I suppose, that is actually what I am doing...whining and complaining.  Hmmm! 

Turning the Other Cheek

Beyond that "Oh Whoas Me!" rampage, however,  is my trying to say: yes...it is so important to accept and allow Life to do what she does without resisting too much. There is so much wonderful peace to be experienced when we let go of our struggle against life circumstance, when we stop judging and telling ourselves "This is wrong, bad, shouldn't be" and accept what is for what it is.  We need to stop defending and attacking Life and all she offers us.  I do believe that is what Jesus meant when He said to turn the other cheek.  He, in a sense, was saying "don't fight back because fighting back will not give you what you really need...peace." So that is why I have an image of me standing in a ring with my arms down at my sides while Life is throwing her punches in terms of challenge at me. 

No Victim; No Villain

In this analogy I am lost in a sense of "me-ness" and I am comparing "myself"  to others in terms of how much "more" I seem to have to deal with all the time .  I mean everyone has their struggles and really...struggle is just struggle. I just wanted to make a point how it seems that  challenges have been seemingly coming so frequently, so quickly and so intensely over the course of  my life  I don't seem to be able to recover from one crisis before another comes.  I find it mentally and physically exhausting even without the "reactivity" I learned to tame. I am not a victim though...I am making a choice to accept and allow the blows to come my way. And there is no villain...just Life doing what Life does. 

Is It Okay to Ask For More? 

I am also trying to say that I am simply wondering if there is a way to stop or slow down the blows, to reduce the amount of external challenge I am dealing with.  I don't want to fight back.  I want to accept what comes by  but if there was less challenge and more awareness of abundance than I would no longer perceive myself in a ring.  The "awareness" part is mine to do something about.  Most of the change required is internal and a matter of changing my perspective and perception. There is so much abundance around me already and I need to put my attention and focus on that. 

But...and this is where the but comes in... I just don't seem to notice that abundance  when I am so exhausted from dealing with challenge...so I am wanting my external situation to change to less challenge/more grace and ease...so it is easier for me to be aware of abundance.  I also want to see Life working with me in an obvious way so I can change this perception I have that Life  is against me. So I believe, and maybe erroneously, that if Life would change just enough to meet me while I do most of the work...I'd be less stressed and more happy? 

All the conditions I need for happiness are already in me and it  has so little to do with what is happening "out there".  I have a crap load of "de-conditioning" to do to get to the point where I believe, without doubt, that Life has my back. I figure it would be a lot easier to get there if  I could see one of my little dreams manifesting through all this challenge.  It might  take me to the ropes...hope...and maybe even give me the inspiration to climb over and get out of the ring (this perception) once and for all.

All is well. 

Depression

The wound is the place where light enters you.

Rumi

Question # 27: Why is there so much depression? 

Please note, that I am not an expert equipped to answer this question in anything but an opinionated way.  I am no expert on the DSM V or mental  illness. I am, however, a devoted student of the mind and my major, you might say, is on suffering. That is what I am attempting to understand and articulate...only what I am learning about suffering. Any diagnose-able illness, I believe,  can be included in the realm of suffering. All suffering, I have come to see, can lead us deeper into a higher and greater consciousness. Depression, then, may actually offer us a gateway for transcendence. 

Take everything I say please, with a grain of salt. 

If you are suffering from depression please seek the help of professionals or trusted experts.  

All is well! 

In the Ring With Life Circumstance?

 

The more you ponder the impossibility of having your desires show up, complain about Life's unfairness, and get upset about what continues to manifest, the more those things define your reality.That's because whatever you focus on invariably shows up in your life-whether you want it or don't want it.  

Wayne Dyer

I am trying to change my focus but I am also asking the universe to change a little with me to make it easier..  Is there anything wrong with that? 

I had a bit of a vision  of myself today as I was sitting at the kitchen table with my tea.  I saw myself in a ring, a boxing ring, and Life circumstance was my opponent. Now it may have been a boxing ring but my opponent seemed to be, by the constant pain in my gut these days from so many quick  "blows" , a Mixed Martial Arts fighter and a very good one. I am watching myself in this image, after another big blow (struggling trying to keep those I love safe from the unconsciousness of another that is proving to be quite dangerous and destructive),  swaying backwards, staggering but not falling down.  I felt the impact of the punch and kick. I knew instantly that it was a serious blow...that my opponent may actually want me out of commission this time ... but thanks to the work I have been doing with my mind, it did not knock me down. My practice keeps me standing and I am so grateful for that.  It also keeps me peaceful and accepting of each blow too. So I  am no longer putting my gloves up to my face or my forearm up in the air. I don't duck. I just stand there as each blow comes. I weeble and wobble with every hit of circumstance  but I don't go down. Hmm!  

This is how I often see myself.  Though my response has changed , thanks to my practice, it seems I have been in this ring fighting circumstance my whole entire life.  I have been knocked down, nearly put  out of commission, so many times,  but something in me never lets me stay down. I keep getting back up.  I fought too...a lot in the past...getting a few good jabs out there.  I scratched and clawed and pulled my opponents hair when I had to in an attempt to assert my strength but Life always seemed so much bigger than me.   I could not get it to submit. And when I attempted to fight it, its defensive  jabs seemed to come in succession, never giving me the opportunity to catch my breath or regain my balance... a right hook here, followed by kick there, and then some wrestling hold that would pull me down and take what was left of  my breath away. Many times when Life had me down I just wanted to lay where I was and not get back up...I was and am so bloody tired...but something always seems to make me roll over, get back on these shaky limbs and stand up to Life.   

With my practice I no longer fight back.  I no longer have this delusion that I can bring Life down.  I just take what she gives me, arms down at my sides,  without resisting. I sway, I stumble, I stagger but I don't go down.  Because I am so peaceful... I find my balance. And that is an amazing improvement in my approach to life circumstance  Sigh! But...you knew a "but" was coming"... this is not what I want...to feel like a fighter in a ring with Life circumstance as my opponent.

I used to spend a great deal of my time looking for ropes. I wanted to get to them, possibly even crawl over them. They were   my "hope"...a hope that says maybe you don't have to keep  "fighting" Life or taking a beaten from her.  Maybe with this woo-woo thing called intention and manifestation there is a way out of these circumstances .  So I was constantly grasping for ropes.

But now that I am practicing acceptance,learning to take a punch; now that I am so centered and still in the middle of the ring,  these ropes  seem so far away.  I stopped reaching for them somewhere along the line.  I stopped hoping.  And that is a good thing in many ways.  It does mean that I am no longer looking to some future illusion to save me and it means that I am no longer looking for a way out of this moment . I am, however,  still looking for a way out of this perception I have that I am in a ring fighting Life. Who wants to live like that?  

Sure I have learned to  take a punch without getting knocked down...but  isn't there more to life than that?  I would much rather be hugged by Life than punched by it.  I want to see a different world...one where thee are no clanging bells, or ropes, or coaches in the corner.  One where there is no one keeping score, no one attacking or defending.  I don't want to feel like I am constantly  being punched. It would be so very wonderful to be embraced by Life and perceive the world as if I am.

It is all perspective and perception. I know that.  Life is neither a puncher or a hugger.  It is just Life doing as Life does, randomly dishing out circumstances, as an effect to a cause. I am not in a ring...it just feels like I am.  Life circumstance is not winning every round. There is no winners or losers.  It just feels like there is.  And because I am so punch drunk and exhausted  my perceptions are tainted. 

Though I appreciate this level of peacefulness I gained through my practice, I don't want to keep  standing where I am, being punched.  I don't want to continue enduring my life rather than living it fully. I want to feel life on my side, supporting me, protecting me, giving to me instead of hurting me and knocking me down.  In order for that perspective to change, maybe this scenery needs to change just a bit . I want Life circumstance to change. Sigh! 

So this abundance, in terms of the awareness of  less challenge , more grace, that I am attempting to manifest with my conscious intention is a means of changing the scenery around me...maybe replacing the ropes with beautiful open spaces, the canvas floor with something I can dance or skate upon. I know what is really important can not be found out there but still I ask for some change in my "out there." Just enough to show me Life is not my opponent but my friend. 

So I look at Life now and ask it to help me change the scenery, to add enough colour into my life experience that I no longer see the ring. I will do the mental work that needs to be done but I  ask Life to join me in a better and much more wholesome perspective

I use my conscious intention to help me manifest my dreams.

All is well! 

Appreciating the Banquet of Life

 ...Let us consider the abundant banquet of Life spread before us in all its splendor.

Deepak Chopra (Day 6 , 21 Day Meditation on Abundance) 

As I consider and write about the ability we may or may not have to consciously change our external circumstances for the better, I once again run across this video from Eckhart Tolle. In it, he speaks about the role gratitude has on our ability to "manifest" some form of abundance. (see link below). He teaches in this video, like others do,  that in order to attain abundance we must be aware and grateful for the abundance that is already around us in this very moment.  Gratitude, he said,  is simply the amazed attention we place on those simple things we so often do not recognize or appreciate when we are focusing on that which we "do not" have or what we "are not"( usually in comparison with others). 

Life is indeed spreading a beautiful banquet before us in this very moment , right here.  What we think we are lacking...is just that..."thinking". When we are lost in scarcity consciousness and limitation, we are placing our attention on that which is not instead of focusing on the beauty and splendor of that which is.  In this very moment there is an abundant banquet spread before you...there is nature inside and outside your window in all her glory exemplifying this abundance.  I look out and I see snowflakes falling from the sky in abundance, each one unique and beautiful in its own right. I see an abundance of green against a lovely white landscape.  I look at the red roses in a vase beside me...( a Valentine's gift that is still flourishing with Life) They are abundant in the richness of colour, petals, beauty and delightful scent...surrounded by many, many tiny heads of baby breath that add to their beauty. I see a plant on the other side of me, given to me by a dear friend.  It is extending in an abundance of vines around my curtains, lights, lamps, walls and ceiling...it is clinging to the preciousness of Life recognizing its abundance.  I recognize abundance when I look at it...nature's bounty and resilience, the bounty of friendships that are dear to me. 

I am surrounded by pets most of my day. I often have five living, breathing beings gathered around me or on me as I write here. 

I have around me so many open notebooks with notes scribbled across the pages...so many words.  When used wisely these abundant  words can be transformed into something beautiful and life changing...with the potential of bringing abundance to others and myself. 

A trillion and some cells in this body and in yours.  Each cell working for the good of the whole.  How amazing is that?  We have hands that can hold a cup of tea, play itsy bitsy spider with our grandchildren, paint a picture or  hold the hand of someone in need.  We may  have feet that allow us to get from one place to another...if not we have equipment that allows us  to get there.  How many breaths do we breathe a day? How many times a day do our hearts beat?  That is abundance and each breath, each heartbeat is so miraculous and amazing...offering us the bounty that is life. 

As Deepak Chopra reminds us in one of his meditations..."Attention Energizes".  We need to start putting our attention on the abundance that is so we are energized by the splendor of Life.

All is well. 

Deepak Chopra ( March, 2021) 21 Days of Abundance. Spotify

Eckhart Tolle ( February, 2022) Gratitude: A Powerful Tool For Conscious Manifestation/ Rebroadcast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzARLjSuPBQ

Taking Responsibility For Your Own Life

 Accept responsibility for your life.  Know it is you who will get you to where you want to go.  No one else. 

Les Brown

Question #25: What is meant by the need to take responsibility for our own Life? 

All is well! 

The Karma of Attending and Intending Improvement in Life Circumstances

 Attention energizes; Intention transforms. 

Deepak Chopra

Examining Core Collective  Belief

Still thinking about doubt versus faith, scarcity belief versus abundance belief.  I am thinking of the collective unconscious in "me"...so full of doubt, limiting ideas, unworthiness, self-punishment and self-denial. I have an internal battle, it seems, going on inside between scarcity consciousness and abundance consciousness as manifested on the outside.  I go between accepting and finding peace with things as they are and this idea that possibly  I deserve and can have less challenge/more ease  from the external circumstances I encounter.

I so often have doubt and  see the scarcity/undeserving -of -more -belief wrapped around my memory cells, wrapped around every cell in this body. The experience  I erroneously call "my life" is a screen on which this subconscious movie is projected again and again and again.  I love most of it but am getting sick of some of it lol

 I know this belief system I , for some strange reason, adhere to is not "mine".  It is a collection of all the beliefs, voices, ideas, and learning I ...and my ancestors...have picked up.  I think Carl Jung's definition of the collective unconsciousness extends beyond this incarnation. I think it also refers to all that has been passed onto us by our ancestors, as taught in so many traditions ( Thich Nhat Hanh, 2015). 

This belief that I do not deserve more is mutely transformed into a beautiful acceptance of what is with practice...which certainly brings peace and it is a wonderful, wonderful place to be.  It truly comforts and soothes the part of me that has Buddhist inclination in it.  I honestly believe in the core of me that accepting the suchness of Life as it is, brings true peace and that nothing "out there"  is needed or beneficial to our fulfillment.  I do have to question, though, as to why some seem to have more external world challenge  than others and I question  if our minds are responsible for  manifesting such realities. Why do external life circumstances seem to differ for us?  Why, as the question was asked to Thich Nhat Hanh, do some  people have different karma? 

Different Karma?

Thich Nhat Hanh was quick to answer in the below linked  video that karma is neither the same or different for any of us "individuals"and that any Karma, be it collective or individual, affects the whole....in the collective, there is the individual and in the individual there is the collective.  

Karma is simply cause and effect. We can't have cause without effect and effect without cause. One individual action affects all, and one effect is experienced by all. So what seems to be happening to me is really not happening to "me" nor is it something "me" is doing with my thinking. It is happening to all and is the result of all collective input.  What I do about it, then,  does not just affect me, it affects the whole. 

Beyond the Superficial Me

Looking at this idea takes me beyond the "me-ness" of my perception of Karma and Life circumstance. What brought me here to this present situation has so much to do with my beliefs...yes...but they are not just "my' beliefs. They are "collective" belief. I am responsible , however, for what I do with these beliefs and this version of Life. I am responsible for whatever action I take. Yes...it begins with accepting, allowing and embracing whatever enfolds in front of me, knowing that it is partly a projection of collective belief, but whether or not I go beyond my external situation is up to me.  If I accept an external life process of "sucking it up and settling in limitation " ...as I have been accused of doing...what does that mean for the whole? 

I am fully aware that what is truly important in Life is internal.  Nothing I "do, become or have" out there will bring these things to me.  It is a matter of opening up to all that is within me. Yes peace, happiness, joy and all that are within me...and I can find and own those things at any time regardless of how life circumstances enfold in front of me...but...if my external world reflects my internal one...would it not benefit me and therefore all if I transcend the notion of limitation and scarcity for the  notion of abundance. If I transcend the notion of unworthiness, fear and this belief I am being punished for the notion of worthiness and being loved and supported by the universe, wouldn't that lead to a better, less fearful world? 

What would my action be then?

Whatever I "do" needs to be free of striving, grasping, and  clinging.  It needs to be free of attachment to outcome.  As much as possible, it needs to be free of ego.

Attend and Intend

The action to take then, would be to energize my life experience by  attending  to the idea of possibility and then transform my so called challenges and lack with intention. I need to be aware and mindful of the abundance already in my life and intend specific changes from the external world. I do not need to spend all my energy working to manipulate and change external events so they give me what I think I need.  It is more about being open and trusting that the universe will provide in its own way as I attend and intend. After I intend, I need to let go, trusting that the universe has my back.

Can We Experiment?  

Right now, I have one moderately big thing/change I will place my attention on and intend.  I am putting it out there...mostly as an experiment...to see what will happen. I won't share that "intention" with anyone. I will make it specific and place a time frame on it ( not sure if that is placing demands or conditions but I will give it 30 days). We will see. 

Anyway...I am not sure what Thich Nhat Hanh would say about someone in my situation asking for "more".  I still practice with great commitment...the accepting of what  is...right here, right now.  

Does it do any harm to send out an intention from this place of calm, acceptance? As long as I am not attached to specifics or outcomes; as long as my happiness is not dependent on the obtaining of this thing...should it not be harmless? 

I hope  it okay to say...From this day forward I invite unlimited abundance into my life. (Deepak Chopra) 

All is well!

Deepak Chopra (March 2021 ) 21 Days of Abundance. Spotify 

Plum Village (January, 2015) Why do People Have Different Karma?Thich Nhat Hanh Answers Questions.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7I4jP9s8bQ

A Willingness to Suspend Disbelief

 To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.

Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Stuck in Doubt

I  know at the deepest level  that the mind controls  reality for all of us.  I know if I could reprogram all that junk I have in my subconscious mind, I ( this incarnation I call "me"and the higher Self)  could have what I really want from Life.  I so want to believe in this idea " Abundance is my birthright!" or  Ask and you shall receive. Yet...here I am stuck in scarcity...looking at what seems to be a lack of peace and joy in those I love, looking at my bank accounts and my readership and my rejection notes  from publishers...and I find myself seriously  doubting these statements. More specifically, I am doubting my ability to transform my belief and therefore my Life with , "No...it won't happen for me."  I am getting beyond the concept of "me" yet at the same time I am trapped in it when it comes to what this little expression of Life personally wants and her ability to get it. I feel that doubt like a knot in my belly. 

I am on Day Three of Deepak Chopra's guided 21-day meditation practice on abundance.  It was very timely to come across this meditation series on Spotify...Well , more correctly, it came across to me as an ad on my phone, otherwise I would never have known it was there. It entered my Life at a time I was dwelling in the mental formation of scarcity and experiencing doubt (the fifth hindrance in the way of what I truly want, engagement with the Ultimate). 

Why We Doubt

Doubt and scarcity thinking/believing are not new to me and I guess are not new to many of you either. I find every time I get whopped across the head , several times in succession, with challenging  Life circumstance, I have a tendency to get a bit punch drunk and negative...and my "reactivity" comes into the picture, pulling out some of those old self-limiting core beliefs in me.  No matter how far I advance in this Life school I can still  get knocked back down a grade or two by challenge ( a hard lesson), sigh!   I find myself saying to the universe at those times, "Please just give me a break! Let me have one semester of bird courses and easy- learning, will ya? Just let me go more than a month without having some crisis to deal with.  I am so bloody tired. If you got to keep challenging me, could you at least  give me some positive sign that I am learning, growing, going in the right direction? Could you at least put a gold star on my paper , or just let me know I am doing okay by rewarding me with something? " 

Wholesome Universal Beliefs

Then I catch myself getting lost in the idea of "me" again and remind myself it isn't about "me"...cause really there is no "me".  So I try to get myself to look at and test my belief of these  more universal statements :

• Abundance is our birthright
• Abundance comes into the personal experience from an infinite source
• Ask and we shall receive
• Our minds' create our realities
• What we think we become 
• nature thinks in terms of abundance

And so many more.  And I think I am getting there...but...then I see someone I love hurting, I  look at my readership or my bank accounts or another rejection slip...and I think..."No...that is not happening for "me" so these wholesome beliefs must not be true. My beliefs that the world is harsh on people like "me"  must be true.I will keep writing and doing this cuz I love to and I will find peace in that. " 

I go around and around and around. ...from doubting there is "more" joy in store  for me  to wanting to believe I am getting it...to see the err in wanting anything out there in the physical world...back to doubting...etc.  Vicious cycle. Then I wonder, do I actually believe that abundance is my birthright or do I believe scarcity is? Will I , for example, ever  be rewarded with some form of material abundance ( just enough to stop the worry over money and as a sign that I am on the right path) for writing or teaching? That is not why I do it and I will continue doing it with or without external reward and recognition  but man...it would be nice to trust that Something I can not see or understand has my back, that I am not being punished and denied ...that I have the power in me to do what I love to do, experience peace, joy, happiness, love, compassion and kindness "more" often  and pay the bills at the same time.  lol. 

I erroneously tell myself if the universe would reward me with something external, a sign, I will know its all good, that I am going in the right direction.I don't want to demand signs from the universe and have my happiness dependent on whether or not I get those signs in terms of reward. I don't ! I want to appreciate what I have and be happy ...right here, right now!  I have so much abundance in my life already and I simply need to focus on what I do have and what I want( without grasping or clinging, striving or demanding) instead of what I believe I don't have.

And as Samuel Coleridge put it...instead of forcing myself to "believe" I just need to direct my attention to the willing suspension of disbelief. 

Sigh!

All is well! 

Prayer Gesture/ Anjali -Mudra

 

The light in me sees and honors the light in you.

The Meaning of Namaste

Question 24: Why do you do that funny thing with your hands at the beginning and end of each practice?

Prayer Gesture= Anjali-mudra

This simple, often used hand gesture or Mudra, which is an energetic seal in yogic practice, can be translated into "offering"...usually indicating an offering of a greeting or blessing.  It is often associated with Namaste which can be translated as above. It is also done over the heart Chakra showing that the greeting offered comes from the heart and helps the giver to return to the heart. By placing the right and left palm together we are balancing the right hemisphere of the brain with the left hemisphere, connecting yin with yang.

A very simple but well meaning gesture even if it has just become habit for me. 

All is well