The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
Pablo Picasso
I woke up with these profound questions on my mind and a desire to come here to contemplate them. The questions were, "If particles are nothing but invisible vibrations until they are observed; if a sound is not a sound until it is heard; if phenomena only become reality once it is perceived by someone ...can we give without having someone to receive? Are our giving actions actually 'gifts" if there is no one outside self to receive them? Are we actually giving of Self with our purest, most loving and generous offerings, if no one notices, or accepts what we 'put out there to be taken'? "
I love to give...I do. I love to give. It is inherent in me...to offer what I have material wise, to give what I have skill wise, or meager-talent-wise; time-wise, or energy-wise to others. Many times, I have no specific receiver in mind when I give (if it is giving that I do...thus my questioning). It is like "This is for any being out there that might need this that I have."
It just seems to be the most natural thing in the world to do - give what we have.
In the same way I gather food from my kitchen and place it out for the crows (that I assume are hungry) to pick from, I tend to gather what I can from this being and I put it "out there" for whomever to pick and choose from. If the crows don't like what I put out ...it is no big deal. There is no need to feel insulted. I tell myself the same thing when I share "my gifts" with the world. For the most part...I am not attached to outcome. I am no longer looking for someone to think more of me or to love what I offer (Well, not so much anyway :)). My goal is to do what comes natural to me....to create...to learn...to teach...and to give. As soon as the offering is released from my hands...I let it go. I may peek out the proverbial window to see if others are being fed in some way by what I offer. I may feel warmed and validated that "I am doing good...I am on the right path" when I see that they are picking away at it, but I no longer get deflated when I see they are looking down at the pile and deciding to fly past. (Most beings fly past.) I leave that decision with the potential receiver or rejector.
If most do not notice the pile, I realize that is on me for not making it more visible. Truth is, I often do not care to make it more visible for all kinds of reasons. I tell myself that those that are really hungry for what I offer, will find it. Besides the effort of creating, as wonderful as it is, drains me of the energy needed to make fancier and more visible offerings. I leave the visibility of the pile up to to the natural flow of Life.
So, over the years I have put a lot out there in the form of writings, teaching materials, books, articles, poetry, speeches, or my presence when needed... Though they are not "eye-catching" enough to draw in the flocks lol, I have made many, many piles of offerings. More importantly, I have spent a lot of time, and energy collecting and creating and getting stuff ready to be put in those piles. I am not monetizing, making money, or gaining notoriety from any of it. Don't get me wrong...I would love to be paid as a human for doing what I love to do. So, I do put some effort and time into seeking ways for that to happen, but it is not my motivation for doing what I do. I do, for example, seek paying teaching jobs that allow me to receive for what I give, before pursuing unpaid teaching activities. But if there are no paid gigs in front of this human...I don't say, "Oh, I can't teach!'. Of course, I can teach. I use the time I have to teach, to create and offer teaching materials to others. I think about my somewhat delusional and grandiose motivation to help newcomers to this country learn English...I am no longer getting paid doing that, but I still spend my time doing it. I wrote books and spent hours creating tutorials to offer on-line. Why? It seems like the most natural thing for this human to do. I learned something that may be helpful to others ...so I feel the need to share it, offer it, teach it etc. There is very little external reward for my offerings.
In fact, my offerings are seldom even "noticed or accepted" by others...they are just left out in the sun and rain to rot and decay like unwanted left-overs even the crows turn their heads away from. That sounds a little dramatic, I know...but that is what happens to offerings that are not received, isn't it? They fade away, feeding no one. And that is where the question comes from. "Are they still gifts even though no one wants them?"
They are gifts to the person creating because there is no greater feeling in the world than that which comes when we are creating in a medium, we are passionate about. I love to write and I love to teach. I feel joy when I use these mediums to create, even when there are no socially approved outcomes. The process is amazing. So, using the skills, talents, and know-how we have within, we create! Though we may enjoy the process, it still requires earthly time, effort, and energy to create. Once something is created one has to ask, "Now what do I do with this?" It only makes sense, doesn't it, to give it away. That is the purest and most wholesome motivation, isn't it? We are here to give. That is where the dilemma comes in. You created something and attempt to give it away...but what if no one out there wants it therefore, what if no other receives it? It is like it it is hanging in the air between you as the sender and a potential receiver. No one has their hands on it anymore. Is it still a gift?
If we work hard at pursuing an inherent trait (however meager), of making what we assume to be the most altruistic use of our skills, talents, experience-earned knowledge and know-how, of sharing what we truly believe to be beautiful or beneficial ...but no other being accepts it as such...is it still a "gift"? "If a singer with an amazing voice and a passion for singing is completely alone in the world with no other being around, will the song she is singing be a gift? To whom? Does it have to be received by a listener for it to be a gift? Despite her passion and joy when singing...is she wasting this energy she is meant to use "giving back to Life"... on pursuing a selfish passion? Is it just a misdirected use of energy and time to pursue this gifting?
I don't know how much time I have left on this planet. I want to make every moment about giving back to Life while I am here. I want to "give" but I am not sure if I am giving. I tell myself that I will write because it is like leaving a record behind. This blog, for example, may be read by lots of bots but very few people now so it isn't much of a gift...but, maybe decades after I am gone more people will come across it and say, "I get it!!" They will pick from this pile and get fed from it. The same with the teaching I do in other areas....maybe no one wants it now but in the future maybe someone will get what they need from it.
And if the criteria for something being a gift is that one other receives it...I got that here. I know the numbers are not what they seem lol but I know I have a couple of readers, at least, that keep coming back. That is enough. I have 78 subscribers to the YouTube channel I attempt to answer challenging Life questions on, and that's a lecture hall. On the All About Sound tutorials I have 4 subscribers and one faithful student who always gives me the thumbs up (Thanks Laura). That is enough to give me a reason to keep creating in this area. That makes this giving I do real even if the above question remains unanswered.
I will keep giving. :)
All is well in my world.
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