Life should be touched , not strangled. You've got to relax, let it happen at times and at others move forward with it.
Ray Bradbury
Observe...Relax...Allow...and Respond
Me
I laai in bed when I awoke this morning. I just happened to see snow falling outside my window and my first thought was, "Observe". More precisely, "Observe without story or commentary, without judgement of whether or not it is nice or not so nice. Don't determine if it is something to feel good about or something to worry about...just observe quietly. Observe it. Observe your bodily response to it. Observe your breath. Observe what is in this moment as the snow falls outside your window. Observe."
The second thought was "Relax. As you observe the body sensation...allow what ever is felt to simply be...but if you notice tension...gently encourage it (do not insist or demand) just encourage a release and relaxation in that area. If it releases...notice. If it doesn't...notice. It is all perfectly okay as it is. Just relax into that."
The third thought was "Observe the breath...Observe the breath and the body response to breath...not controlling or forcing the breath in anyway...just observing....quietly without commentary. Oberve the breath."
The fourth thought came to mind. "Allow"...Allow whatever is in your experience right now to simply be. A relaxed body makes allowing easier. Relax into what is. Quieltly (no mental commentary is necessary), softly...allow."
"Breath and body are softening."
The final thought was " Respond when needed". I felt safe knowing that though there was nothing in that moment I had to do, if something suddenly did happen that needed my attention...in this relaxed, allowing state the body would respond in the the most natural of ways. The body would move automatically through its natural reflexes if necessary. When there is no resistance, when controlling mind is out of the way, the body's natural rhythmic movements will respond gracefully when necessary. "The only response needed in this moment is to relax more deeply. Respond."
So, I lay there for quite some time: Observing, Relaxing into breath, Allowing and Responding.
Later, I thought of that in reference to Tai Chi.
In my limited understanding of Tai Chi and other gentle martial arts, I could see why masters teach their students these four things to prepare them for battle; why following this protocol would make them better warriors.
I know "warrior" and "combat" do not seem to fit into this discussion on relaxation and calm lol...butbear with me. Imagine someone wanting to attack you, coming at you. Remember these four things: Observe quietly...relax...allow...and respond...When we observe the happenings of the world inside and outside of us, we create a certain distance and non-attachment. We do not need to judge it as good or bad, right or wrong, should be or shouldn't be. It just is. We automatically relax when there is an objective distance between who we are and the drama we are observing. Body and mind will relax. That doesn't mean we stand there paralyzed and do nothing when the person comes at us. We respond. With no tension and mental noise in the way, body is able to respond by naturally reflexing accordingly, using the flow of non-resistance. When the body is not all tensed up at the direction of the mind, it can do what it knows to do without interference. One necessary move (be it a block or a strike) flows into the next. The body becomes a graceful dancer responding to the partner in front of it. And this dance requires no wasting of energy. The draining of mental and physical energy is not required, because without "striving mind" in the way the energy of "Chi" can continue to cycle through again and again, while mind remains calm, empty, observing. Peace, no matter what is the outcome.
The person attacking may be taking the more conditioned approach to life. He/she/they likely spend their time looking anxiously about for danger as most of us do. Mind is anything but quiet in its hyper vigilence. They, as the " would be opponent" are tensing up for what might happen out there. They see you in the corner of the room and it triggers something in them for whatever reason. They resist the trigger-the reality that you are there-with "This is bad, wrong, shouldn't be!" Body and mind tense up even more. They feel they must "do something" to stop this feeling experience they are having, erroneously believing your presence in the room is the cause of it. They react! They run at you in order to remove your presence from the room, their mind, and their version of reality. They strike to fight. Every move they make, to attack you, is directed by the mind. The tensed up body reacts to the directions of the mind, using force and resistance. Movements, though they may at first have the force of tension behind them, become awkward, draining, and unnaturally forced. Mind remains active, dominating, controlling creating more noise, more tension, more reactivity. "Exhaustion" and "stress" will be the outcome regardless of winning or losing.
This is how most of us approach Life. We spend our time looking around for potential danger while the noisy mind chirps on. We tense up in preparation for what might happen as mind gets noisier and more demanding, promising that if we listen, it will take care of us. We listen. Something or someone...triggers something we have stored within (on mind's directions) and we feel even more uncomfortable. We say "This is bad, wrong, shouldn't be!" We resist the reality that is unfolding in front of us. This increases the tension making mind and body even more uncomfortable. We resist that. Mind then screams "Do something!" We listen...We react. In this case, we attack. And in this mode, we, as the twisted psyche, are in the way, we are working against the natural flow of energy in the body...that energy that moves the body and recycles itself. Regardless, if we win or lose the fight...we exhaust ourselves and stress ourselves out. We suffer! Sigh!
So, we have a choice. We can approach Life like we are doing Tai Chi or we can approach Life like we need to attack it. Hmm! I would suggest we put away our conditioned ways of reacting: the looking for danger---the tensing up---the resisting reality---and the reactivity that exhausts us and leads to suffering. I suggest that we take on the Tai Chi approach to life: Observe Objectively and quietly---relax...allow...and respond. I suggest we, as psyches and striving minds, get out of Chi's way.
Hmm! But what do I know?
All is well.
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