In this crazy world there's an enormous distinction between good times and bad, between sorrow and joy. But in the eyes of God, they are never separated.  Where there is pain there is healing.  Where there is mourning, there is dancing. Where there is poverty, there is the kingdom.
Henri Nouwen (Catholic priest, theologian, writer  and philosopher)


I hear a lonely cry of a Mourning Dove outside my window.  It is such a soulful sound of longing and missing.  I want to answer him back just so he doesn't feel alone.  Then I remind myself that he is probably not longing for a greying blonde of the human persuasion. It will just mean more rejection for me lol.

Seriously... one could listen to his song of grief and perceive it in two ways.  One could feel the loneliness, the loss, the pain in his call or one could feel the joy, the healing, the dancing and the kingdom that is carried in every note. 

As Nouwen, above, writes God sees no distinction between sorrow and joy and either should we.  For the dove, where there is loneliness, there will soon  be connection. 

Contrast breeds its opposite.  That's the way life works.  With our human senses we see those contrasting colours so acutely and see such an "enormous distinction" between them.  We focus on that distinction.  Where God, I believe, sees it all intertwined together in a beautiful tapestry of textures that make up a life. 

What we ask for we receive in the same glorious moment of our request.  There is no time or space or separation. There is no distinction anywhere but in our minds.

So as I listen to his beautiful song, I remind myself of that and I smile at just how perfect it all is.

All is well I my world.

Beyond the Ego Twins to The Observer: On Being Who We Really Are.

If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond the ego and the internal dialogue.
Deepak Chopra


Knowing who we are and how precious and valuable we are to the world is not an easy chore for many of us.  We get conflicting messages from the world and we get conflicting messages from ourselves. Some people around us will show love and respect...so we begin to feel valuable.  Others will push us aside, condemn or ridicule us based on both truth and false assumption. 

Our egos tell us we are special in one breath as they seek the support of our well wishers; and a disgrace to humanity in another as they comply with the opinion of our naysayers.  No wonder we are confused about who we are. 

So who do we listen to?  Definitely, not the ego.

The Ego Twins

(http://www.today.com/popculture/heh-heh-heh-beavis-butt-head-are-stupid-ever-1C9382020)

I believe the ego is actually twins. :) ( Of course, as a mother of twins...I see twins in more things:).  I call these ego twins: Redeemer and Shamer.

Shamer

Shamer is the one that tells us we are not enough...we will never be enough.  It wants us to believe that we are separated from God and others so the twins can reign and control our lives. It does this by convincing us we are not worthy of grace.  It points out our faults, our failings, our sins as evidence of just how unworthy we are.  When Shamer is active we feel pretty miserable and assume no one will ever accept us.  We act on that prophecy by being afraid to reach out, but at the same time desperately seeking one special relationship that will fill us and protect us from our own unworthiness. We are afraid to step up to life challenges and we accept the negative opinion of others as truth, even when it isn't. 

Redeemer

 



Then there is Redeemer ego.  When Shamer gets too active, Redeemer steps in .  (These twins are very competitive).  Redeemer is going to try to create an image of worthiness in us for others to see.  It will poof itself up with external successes: diplomas, degrees, financial status, popularity, power...etc. Redeemer redeems us from Shame by "doing and owning", "collecting and holding on to", " defending and attacking". 

When Redeemer gets too big for its britches...and the world around it calls it out...Shamer will once again step in to bring the party down to the basement where fear and doubt reside. 

Up and down we go when the Ego Twins are in charge. Where Shamer wants us fearful,  passive and submissive...Redeemer wants us achieving, aggressive, doing and attacking if we must.  In either scenario we do not feel good. Shamer convinces us we are "less than" and Redeemer tries to convince us we are "more than" all those around us.  We can never gain enough when Redeemer is in charge and we can never be worthy of more when Shamer is in Charge.  There is no fulfillment, no joy...just survival. The ego twins  do not want us to see how totally crazy they are...and how like smoke they would disappear once we realized who we really were.   

So why do we let these twins run havoc in our lives?  Because we do not know how to discipline them when all we have to do is call a time out for both of them. 

If we truly want to know who we are...we need to recognize the  ego at work and consciously seek to get beyond it to the truth of our beingness.  We are not these egos.  They mean nothing. 

The Observer

We are the Observer that watches the Ego pair wreck the house without concern because It cares less about the house or the things of this physical world. 

We are the Love that knows no judgment, no fear, no shame and that has no need for redemption.    If we knew that... we would not define ourselves by our ego...we would not define ourselves by the ego opinion of others.  We would just know that we are no better or no worse than anyone else on this planet. 

The Observer is in all of us. If we take the time to go inward and see the world through Those eyes instead of our own; to see each other through Those eyes instead of egos...what a different experience it would be for us...what a different world it would be for all.

All is well in my world.   

The ego is not who you really are.  The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval.  It wants control and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.
Deepak Chopra



      

If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.
Buddha

I guess I am not done this little mini series on relating to others. lol  When we talk about relationships we are taken back again and again to one crucial bit of truth.  You need to love yourself first.  Most acts of unkindness and even violence towards others are not done by people who truly love themselves...they are done by people who do not know how to love others because they do not know who they are. There is a beautiful line in A Course..." Teach only love, for that is what you are." (6:I:13:2)  If we realized what we were beyond these ego personalities that are conditioned to defend, attack, accumulate and succeed at all costs...we would realise  that we are Love.  We would embrace that and embrace ourselves for that...and that is all we would teach through example.

You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
Buddha

You do not walk alone.
ACIM Epilogue

These are powerful words I take with me as I finish the lessons of the Course for the second or third time.  365 lessons, "a beginning, not an end." (epilogue: 1).  I am a student of A Course in Miracles.  That might make people uncomfortable, I know. I am also a student of Catechism, of the Bible, the Yoga Sutras, the Gita, the Vedas, the Buddhist Sutras, the Tao, modern new age teachers, literature, psychology, quantum physics and all avenues of science, nature and life.  That may make them even more uncomfortable lol.  How can one be a student of so many different ideas and thoughts especially when they are so conflicting.? Are they conflicting?  I think not.  I am coming to find the one universal truth threaded throughout all these beautiful teachings. What do I find?...that We do not Walk alone...even when we feel alone...we are never alone.

So as we end this little mini series on relating to others, maybe we need to remember that.  If fear of loneliness keeps us stuck in unhealthy relationships and stops us from loving ourselves honestly  and openly...then maybe we have to consider that truth that all scripture and thought leads to.  We are not alone...we are never alone.

All is well in  my world.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7

 

Specs: 1/500 , f 5.6, ISO 1600 140 mm lens...shot in auto, so yes I cheated lol but in my defense I was shooting through glass.  The first pic  I put up here was way too noisy...too much sharpening.  So I brought it down a bit in Light Room  (I love Light Room and my boyfriend for getting it for me :) I think the image is a little more balanced now.

 

This little guy landed right in front of me and posed for about 12 frames.  It was amazing.  I have been trying to get a good shot of Chickadees for over ten years now. I definitely won't be cutting down his home. :)   I guess, I was chosen.

 

Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer it has chosen.

Minor White

There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear.
1 John 4:18

These are beautiful words.  The healthiest relationship we can have with anyone will be with ourselves when we realize who we are and from Whom we came. With God as our source of all things, we are meant to love perfectly without fear.  It is when we are able to be alone in solitude and find peace  that we will know of this Love. When we find that fearless state of knowing what Love really is... beyond the way our egos have painted it in romance novels and movies...we can venture into healthy relationships with others.  Loving yourself is really important.  Loving others and being loved is the beautiful consequence that ensues when we do that.

The healthiest relationships I have in my life came when I began to know what Love really is...it is a state of being...not just an emotion.  It was only when I stopped fearing being alone, when I embraced solitude and looked forward to just learning to love myself...that I actually found someone who offers me the healthiest partnership I have ever been in.

If you find yourself alone, embrace the opportunity to learn what Love really is.  Learn to love yourself...look forward to the solitude that can heal you.  Stop fearing, needing, clinging and let Love give you what you really need.  It will!

All is well in my world.

Peace is the life that is heard beneath the noise of ego's world.
Me

That quote came to me as I was meditating briefly this morning.  I was hearing robin song and the laughter of chickadees who I think are about to nest in the tree outside my office window...a tree I was going to cut down because it was blocking the sunlight but now know I will not be cutting lol.  There was the sound of machinery outside my window as well...and the sound of loud demands being thrown back and forth.  There was also some thoughts...not so many today...flittering around in my head adding to the noise but I strained to hear the sound of life beneath it all: the chickadees, the robins, the breeze, my breath, my heartbeat and there I found peace.  If we want to find and reach all those things we were meant to experience in life: abundance, joy, love...do we not first have to start with finding peace?  Hmmm!  I think so.  I know it is where I want to start.

All is well in my world.

I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.
Henry David Thoreau

Beyond the Fear of Being Alone

If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle.  It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.
Buddha

Many of us are afraid of being  alone.  We will do almost anything to make that not happen.  We will begin and stay in relationships that are not healthy.  We will cling fervently and desperately to those who we fear will leave us.  We will give up who we are to conform and fit in.  The idea of being alone can be more  terrifying than not growing into the people we were meant to be. We may give up everything so "alone" doesn't happen.

Our fear prevents us from seeing the preciousness of solitude and the gift of freedom that lies in it. If we did not fear the prospect of it...would we not be more inclined to be ourselves?  Would we not be more honest and real around others?  Would we not only accept what is healthy and good for us in terms of relationships? Would we not find peace regardless if we were in a relationship or not? We would stop clinging to that which did not lead us forward and only held us back...would we not?  We are meant to grow and relationships should not prevent us from doing that...the fear of being alone should not hold us back.

We are social animals, yes, and we are meant to love but we are not meant to fear. If fear is at the basis of our relationships, how healthy are they?  Besides, resisting the possibility of solitude only makes the likelihood  for it to persist. Our resistance and our fear of being alone may damage the relationships we have. If, on the other hand, we are okay alone, we can find peace anywhere with anyone.

Do not be afraid to be alone. Solitude is a beautiful thing.  It gives us the opportunity to discover who we are and what we want.  It brings peace and healing to the self and all the relationships we will begin or step back into.  Embrace the opportunity, knowing as the elephant does, that he will rejoin his family soon enough.

All is well in my world. 

They owe you nothing!

And still after all this time, the sun doesn't say to the earth , "You owe me."  And look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.
Hafiz (12th century Persian poet)  My bad...somehow forgot to supply his name until now.  Oops!

One of the greatest sources of our suffering may lie in the belief that other people owe us something.

 We may assume that others owe us respect, consideration, kindness, compassion, and understanding.  When we do not get it from them or at least perceive we are not getting it from them, we get angry or hurt, blaming them for not providing.   It is our expectation that is the problem, not other people's behaviour.

Truth is...no one owes us anything. It would be nice if they provided such things.  It would make the world a better place if we all treated each other kindly but kindness is a gift not an obligation.

When we expect, we often fail to appreciate.  When we expect that we are owed something, we often blame, judge, condemn and attack when we do not get it.  Hmmm! How loving are we then?

What if we were to walk into each  relationship expecting nothing and made it a point to appreciate and honor each bit of respect, consideration, kindness, compassion and understanding that is offered us.  What if we made it a point to focus more on providing these things than receiving them?  What would that do for our relations with other people, I wonder.  What would that do for the world?

Food for thought on this windy day in May.

(Ummm...you do know I have another mini series going on here, eh? It looks like I may be talking about relating to others for a while.  Fasten your seatbelts...it might be a long ride lol.)

All is well in my world.

 

Don't let other people's opinions distort your reality. Be true to yourself. Be bold in pursuing your dreams.  Be unapologetically you.
Dr. Steve Maraboli

 

Tried something different ( meaning...I goofed up... lol)with this shot to create an ethereal, muted and dreamy effect.  (It was actually a much underexposed shot that I tried to fix and this happened)  I like it.  If you do not like it...please see above quote lol.

On Finding Yourself

The opinion other people have of you is their problem, not yours.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I guess, it is quite amazing how fast I write.  D. just shakes his head when he sees me put an entry together in an hour like I did yesterday. I remind him that my blog is unedited, unrevised and probably full of grammatical errors for people to sit around and joke about lol. (If they were so inclined and if I had readers besides him to critique my work, in the first place :) ..I still don't know if anyone is reading this blog. 

Regardless, I am grateful for the ability and the opportunity I have been blessed with to write.  I honestly do not know where I would be without this medium of expression.  Writing  is my route to self actualization.  It is my route to truth.  It is my route to finding myself.

That is what I want to write about today...finding one's self.  I want to build on what I wrote yesterday.  One doesn't get to  say everything that needs to be said in an hour of writing, do they? So I will continue here.

Finding Self f beyond the Opinion of Others 

 

I first heard the expression, "I am finding myself" when I was child growing up in the 70's.  It seemed that every  peace-loving long haired individual sporting fringes and bell bottomed jeans over platform shoes was in the process of finding themselves. I thought "finding myself" was a fashion trend not a spiritual movement toward enlightenment. 

My parents referred to the notion as drug induced  "hippy nonsense".  Did I mention that  I didn't grow up in the most open minded of environments? lol.  I was taught, in fact, that it was more important to blend in and fit in, to be like everyone else than it was to be yourself...whatever that was.

  I grew up to believe that what others thought of me was absolutely everything.  I was told that I  had to make the world  believe I was darn near perfect if I wanted to be accepted. I was more than a little concerned about people's opinions of me....especially when I realized I could never be perfect.

I was much too sensitive.  I thought too much and asked too many questions people didn't seem to want to answer.  I was too honest and spoke my mind.  I just couldn't go along with things because everyone else was. I preferred the company of animals.  I was different....and many people decided I didn't fit in. 

Belonging was all important; being rejected, forgotten, left out was excruciatingly painful because it meant that I was not "other-like" enough....I was not as "perfect" as they were...I would never fit in...I would be alone with my imperfect self for the rest of my life.

And if others didn't like me...how the hell was I going to spend the rest of my life alone with me?  Why would I ever want to find myself if myself was so hard to like?  

 

 

Things turned out okay. I belonged in many wonderful groups, been in many healthy relationships  and made many true friends over the decades of my life. 

Yet, the pain of not belonging was like a wound that festered inside me waiting to be reopened again and again.  I still believed, even when I was surrounded by people who loved me,  that once I was found out as the imperfect fraud I was...I would be rejected, shunned, kicked out, abandoned, forgotten.  I had to work really had to get people to like me and to keep people liking me. If I couldn't keep up with the pretense...I  also had a tendency to walk away from others before they had a chance to walk away from me...just so I could avoid the pain of discovering that they really didn't like me.

  The pain of needing other opinion pushed me and pulled me through most of my life, until the day I happened upon Maslow's words in a book by Wayne Dyer (  I don't remember which book).  Be independent of the need for the good opinion of others.

I liked how Dyer referred to it because he spoke of other opinion as an emotional need.  It gave hope that maybe we do not have to be dependent on getting people to like us and could still be happy even if the worse case scenario happened and we found ourselves rejected by absolutely everyone.

Maybe, just maybe I could still find peace if my worst fear materialized and I found myself alone. What if I learned to like me...even love me...so if by chance I ever found myself rejected by the whole world ...I would still be okay? I tucked those words in my mind and in my heart and I went off on a search to find myself beyond other opinion.

 

It was quite a journey so far.  I have come an amazing distance and seen my ego deflated again and again...but it still puffs up from time to time and stings like the dickens. 

I have been left and I have left;  I have been pushed out of groups,  sometimes very gently...sometimes not so gently and I have stepped out of groups. 

I have been forgotten by friends and I have forgotten friends. 

I have been liked...genuinely so by some that I felt actually knew me...and I have been disliked by others.

 I have been judged fairly  even if it was with dislike and I have been judged unfairly by others.

 I have people in my life who act like they like me when I know they don't; and others who pay little attention to me but I know they respect me. 

Throughout it all I am searching for and depending on validation for my worth from one person...me.  I want to be the best person I can be for me  regardless of what anyone else thinks.  

 

It is obvious in life...that we cannot please everyone all of the time. 

Not everyone is going to like us or want to be with us.  There will be rejections, criticism,  break ups and negative opinion from others.  That's life.

We are not what people think of us.  We are much more than that.

 If we would only take the time to do what the hippies did and find ourselves...we would come to know who we truly are.  We would also come to see that our own honest opinion  of who we are is the only one that matters. 

 

 

It is all good.

 

All is well in my world. 

Be independent of the good opinion of other people.
Abraham Maslow


Self actualization is that wonderful goal we as humans strive for. According to the famous humanist psychologist, Abraham Maslow, self actualization involves being independent of the need for others to like us.  Though we are social animals and are here to support one another...we need to realize we are more than the egos that define many of our social relationships. (1985) In a sense, actualization  is "waking up" to the truth of who we are beyond our personalities  Awareness is key in dealing with social groups during our awakening process.  We need to be aware of how we feel when we are around certain people; when we no longer belong or fit in to a social group because of the changes we are experiencing; and what to do about it.  Sometimes that doing involves stepping peacefully and lovingly away from a specific person or group  temporarily or permanently and often into the unconditional, soothing world of solitude, nature and our animal friends.

 

Be Aware of How You Feel

How do you feel when you are around the people in your life?  Do you feel safe and warm and comfortable enough around particular people to be yourself and to speak your mind?  Do you feel a little timid around others...forcing a smile on your face as you politely answer them in the way you think they want you to answer them? Are there people you laugh a lot  with when you are around them?  Who do you have the most fun with?  Are there people you tend to find yourself on the defensive with?  Do you walk away from certain individuals or groups feeling pumped up, confident, alive?  Are there others you walk away from feeling drained, unheard, and devalued? So many of  us aren't aware how we respond to the energy ( thoughts, feelings, words and behaviours) of those we spend our precious time with.  If you want to take that important step towards self actualization, it is time to put your emotional meter on.  Be aware of how you feel in the presence of others.

 

Are these people still a good fit for you?

 

Once you know who you find yourself at your best around and who you may find yourself less than healthy around, it is time to ask the important question:  Is being in the presence of this person or group of people good  for me?  Remember it is all about feeling good.  You need to be around people who you tend to feel good around, that you can be your best self with.  Now...of course things have to be considered in this decision.  You do not want to walk permanently  away from people just because they or  you are having a bad day or a bad time.   Consider this question  carefully.  It is okay to ask: Is it me? And many times it is.  Many times it is our perception and  reaction to others that is distorted, not them.  Some times we are in a funk and looking for someone to blame for that funk so we choose the people around us to be the reason why we feel bad.  Sometimes they may be having a bad day or a bad period and be especially needy or negative...that's okay too...You are not going to throw the people you care about away just because you do not feel good around them from time to time.  It is when  you feel devalued, drained, not heard, dismissed, alone in the same room with them, neglected , criticized, abused,  angry, defensive and just plain "bad' consistently or for  most of the time with certain people...that it may be time to walk away temporarily or even permanently from their company. Sometimes the decision can be made for you.  You will notice that occasionally individuals or  groups may be gradually or suddenly  cutting you out of their circle because they have determined that you no longer belong.  Maybe your life situation has changed so much the members can no longer relate to you.  Maybe in your awakening...you have been judged as a little too out there for the group to understand lol.  It happens. When it does...being around these people and trying to "fit in" will not   make you feel good. 

 

What to do when it no longer fits

 

When you are sure, and only when you are absolutely sure that the presence of certain people in your life or your membership in a particular group no longer fits your intention to feel good you need to make the decision to walk away.  Walking away does not have to be a permanent thing...maybe you just need a bit of space and distance from that person to regain your bearings.  Maybe they need some space away from you. Absence does make the heart grow fonder in many cases...especially in those important relationships like spousal or family connection. It is often recommended that you do the temporary trial before you commit to a permanent absence.  That is why most divorce petitions  will not be heard in court until after a period of trial separation. Walking away can  also simply be the creation of a mental or emotional space between you and the other person...where you pull back your attention from the individual and remove your personal agendas and attachment from  their behaviour and their choices.  Or it can be a physical walking away into a different geographical space. Whatever it involves, know that it is okay to walk away to regain your strength and to preserve yourself.  It is okay to love yourself enough that you make feeling good your number one priority.  It is only when you feel good, that you can be your best self and being your best self is the most precious gift you can give another.

 

 

Where to go when you walk away

 

Whether you are choosing a permanent or a temporary separation from people...there really is only one direction to go...inward.  If true "other" healing is going to take place, it may not be wise to fly into the arms of another lover or to another friend or group who is looking for the drama of hearing about all the rotten things the others  did to you.  It may be tempting but it isn't healing. You do not begin where you left off.  If you do not heal...patterns will repeat themselves and you will find yourself smack dab in the middle of another relationship like the one you just left.   If you are looking for that self actualization that Maslow writes about...you do so independently of the good opinion of others. You go inward.  Solitude offers a precious route to healing and nature provides  an amazing venue.  Take some alone time in nature to find what you are really looking for...that you thought you would find in the presence of others...yourself.  Of course, a few four legged creatures by your side, offering their unconditional love,  as you tramp down the trails to a happier and healthier you, makes the adventure all the more worthwhile.

 

 

All is well in my world.

 

References:

Maslow, A. (1985) Self -Actualization. Audio Cassette. Soundworks.



Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.
Orhan Pamuk

On choosing a topic to write about

All you have to do is  write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.
Ernest Hemingway

I have been sitting here staring at this page for some time. I don't know what to write about.  Most times I write free flow and just let whatever is there to come out but sometimes I need a little organized thought to bring it out.  So I am going to start a topic selection process that I would use if I was writing a paper. 

Step 1:   Free flow of possible writing ideas.

I am guided towards writing more on wanting in a healthy way.   I do not think I am done with that yet. I want to explain what wanting  really is so people who consider themselves "practical-minded" can get a better grip on what I am saying. I want to build on this idea of taking the  doubt, that comes with life not going the way one wants, and  using the steps I previously wrote about to take us farther up the ladder.

 I want to write about not getting tripped up on words, how something is described or by whom.  Truth is the truth and it can get mangled to death with words or by putting too much attention on the messenger.. :)

• I want to write about appreciation.
• I also want to write about being absent of the need for the good opinion of others...which I realized,  with some valuable life learning over the last couple of days, I am not. 
• I want to write about being aware of how we feel when we are around certain people...if we are our best selves or our worst selves and what that means.  
• I want to write about walking peacefully and lovingly away from others when the time comes that we realize we are not our best selves when we are with them. 
•  I want to write about accepting the fact that we may  not belong( in the external sense) to certain groups anymore because of growth, change, life circumstance and on how to find peace in it.  
• I want to write about what one does when one realizes they really don't like people lol (or maybe certain people really do not like them) ... or what to do, at least, when they want to eliminate socializing as much as possible with other humans because they genuinely prefer the uncomplicated  company of four legged beasts.
• I want to write about nature and the soothing hammock she offers for us to fall back into whenever we need a break from this world of form.
• I want to write about photography and the power of light. 
• I want to write about health and healing. 
• I want to complain about this physical pain thing that keeps reminding me there is something I need to deal with.  I want to complain lol. 
• I want to rationalize why I am the way I am through some big long story about my life.  I want to write about being a tragic victim to life.
• I want to write about the learning...the amazing and never ending learning life provides us. 
• I  want to write about it all.  :)

Then I ask myself...what would truly be of value for me and others to put down in words and what would be better off left unwritten? 

Step 2:  The Elimination Process

Let's then start with an elimination of topics that  will effect little change, be a waste of energy and serve little purpose except to bring me and others down.  What topics would be best left unwritten, and not focused upon? :

• trying to convince the practical-minded critics to agree with me and my opinion. 
• not liking people ...that is an ego self preservation reaction ...could be a funny read but not healthy
• complaining of any kind
• rationalizing  and explaining my beingness with personal history
• anything to do with life being a tragedy and me being a victim

Step 3:   The Selection (the long list)

Next we will determine what are valuable possibilities. 

• healthy wanting
• the insignificance of words, delivery and the messenger
• the value of appreciation
• being absent of the need of the good opinion of others
• awareness of how we "feel" around others and what to do about it
• knowing when it is time to step back away from others to maintain our own good feeling
• accepting and finding peace when we do not or no longer "fit in" somewhere
• the value of stepping away from time to time from human contact
• the healing power of solitude and nature ( which would include the company of four legged friends)
• photography and light
• health and healing
• the joy of learning from life

Step 4: Grouping

Then we will clump the valuable possibilities into topics.  What in the ramble above fits together?

      a. healthy wanting
      b. the insignificance of words, delivery and the messenger
      c. the value of appreciation
      d. dealing with the social group

• being absent of the need for the good opinion of others
• awareness of how we feel around others
• knowing when it is time to step back
• accepting and finding peace when we no longer fit in or "belong" on the external level
• stepping away from time to time from  human contact 
• replacing socializing with nature and animal company often, occasionally, etc     

      e. solitude and nature  (could be a stand alone topic)
      f. photography and light
      h. health and healing
      I. the joy of learning from life.


Step 5:  The Final Selection

Then I determine what stands out the most:

• Dealing with the social group stands out...more subtopics within it. I obviously have more thought regarding this topic direction than others because of the number of thought possibilities within it.  It is on my mind and in my heart...it is my one true sentence!

Step 6:  The Thesis

Come up with a thesis statement that combines all the subtopics:

Awareness is key in dealing with social groups during our awakening process.  We need to be aware of how we feel when we are around certain people; when we no longer belong or fit in to a social group because of the changes we are experiencing; and what to do about it.  Sometimes that doing involves stepping peacefully and lovingly away from a specific person or group  temporarily or permanently and often into the unconditional, soothing world of solitude, nature and our animal friends.

Okay...I know what I need to write about.

All is well.

And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act as if it were the last.
Marcus Aurelius

The robin song out there is so beautiful.  I want to close my eyes and get lost in it.  In a hurry again.  :)  Tired...beyond tired actually...challenged by this physical funk I have been slipping into and I have to admit that I resent that it impacts my life so much .  I want to say it wipes the joy and adventure and fun out of it...but it doesn't.  It just challenges me to find my way around or through it...to feel all those wonderful things despite it or maybe even because of it...who knows.  Part of me wants to succumb to it and slip into a mental funk that matches the physical one...but I won't.  :)  I will work on the mind so my body eventually succumbs to it...and matches that level of energy carried by happy, excited neurons.  :) 

If this was my last day...I would want to make everything I do count, wouldn't you?

It is all good.  All is well in my world.

Which of my photographs is my favorite?  The one I am going to take tomorrow.
Imogen Cunnigham

This is not a bad shot, I guess, but it certainly wasn't worth risking my life over if that is what I did.  When will I learn to be less intense? lol.  I shoot better when I am well, calm and peaceful than I do  in the middle of an attack.  Specs: ISO 6400, 1/500 secs, f/11, 22 mm lens

The Beauty of Relief

So verily, with every difficulty, there is a relief.
The Quran

Relief

I am thinking a lot of relief.  I see it as a gift and a blessing....a way of experiencing contrast with  appreciation.  After every struggle, challenge, incident of suffering...there is relief.  It is the light that follows the dark times.

We experience this relief especially when it comes after a bout of physical pain.  My back is better.  I mean it is still not 100% but I can move a lot easier and I am not getting stuck in my chair. :)  Realizing it was gone as I squatted to take shots this weekend filled me with such joy.  Relief is a beautiful feeling.

A Boring Personal Rant about Relief

Life wanted to offer a little more contrast so I would see even more acutely the beauty of relief.  While I was shooting those pics this weekend I was in the middle of an angina attack...one of the worst I have had in a while. 

I could feel it coming on Friday.  I had this feeling of being physically wiped and weak.  We were planning on going away on Saturday and I was so looking forward to it.  When the weakness hit, however, it wiped me of any oompf or excitement  I had.  Still I was determined to go. 

So on Saturday as we were driving I was commenting on how my back felt better(I wanted to focus on the positive)  and just as the words left my mouth I got a little run of palpitations...  Just a little tap from the universe to remind me the lesson was not over. 

We got to our destination and the wiped feeling consumed me but I did not want to complain in fear I would make it worse and I did not want to ruin my time with D. ...So I put a smile on my face and off  we went to check out the kayaks at  one of the big outfitting stores.  I could not even consider the possibility of picking up a paddle, at the time,  let alone paddling one...so I was no help.  All I wanted to to do was sit.  We left the store no further ahead in our decision about buying one. 

Obsessed with Doing (shooting)

Later that evening I suggested we go  to the park after eight when the light was the best to get some shots.  Just as we were pulling into the parking lot I was consumed by overwhelming pain.  I quietly told D we would have to wait a while until it passed.  I waited ten minutes...took a shot of nitro...no relief after five minutes...took another shot.

 I should have waited a good ten minutes before getting up but I was losing the light and I was bound and determined to get some photos. I was determined not to let this body ruin it for me again...we came here to have fun and I  was going to have fun!   I was going out into that beautiful park on a lovely day, with great light and to do something I love to do  So I said I was better and off we went in search of water and light. 

I had no idea how big the park was and as I began to walk I knew I was in trouble but man I was determined to get some pictures.  The light seemed to be at the other end of the lake and it seemed like a hundred miles away to my weak legs...so I had to concede on less than great shots.

We headed to the nearest bit of water which was down hill.  I was so determined that the pain would go away once I slowed down and started shooting... that I did not consider the fact that a steep decline would eventually mean a steep incline. Oh well...the pain would go, I told myself.  It didn't. 

Once I have my lens cap off...I become a woman possessed by the spirit of Ansel Adams or something (I said spirit...not skill lol). I had to shoot and I did.  I was so short of breath,  I couldn't hold my camera right...and I had the worst camera shake. I didn't have the light I wanted so I had to compensate for that.

 Don knew I was in trouble then...he told me how pale I was but I couldn't stop.  He offered to carry me up the hill...I wouldn't listen.  I kept shooting.  He suggested going to get the car and driving down over the embank...still I wouldn't listen.  I was shooting!  The pain kept getting worse.  It was hard to breathe.  I had to sit but I couldn't put the camera down.

The Quiet Little Voice

Then finally it was like the quiet little voice inside me got urgent and said:  "Stop!!!" I reluctantly handed my camera over to D.  I took another shot of nitro, waited the five minutes,  and up the hill we went stopping every two feet.  It was pathetic!  Finally we got back to the car and the weakness was all consuming.  Don suggested going right to the hospital.  I thought for a moment that maybe we should go ...but as always...I recall past experiences and I hesitate.

 I told D...we would drive back to the motel and the pain should be gone by the time we get there. Like I know better than that...but anyway.  By the time we got back the pressure was off my chest and I could breathe better.  After a half hour of resting I felt even better.  I felt the relief I was looking for. ...a relief that would have come a lot sooner if I would only listen to my body!!!

The Moral of the Story

Moral of this story...listen to the body.  My back pain becomes chest pain, my chest pain becomes pelvic pain with short little periods of relief between each.  Why?  My body is telling me to slow down...but my mind is telling me I need a bit of adventure, fun, change in my life. 

Is there a battle here between mind and body? 

Relief is showing me what could be once I learn to get the mind and body working together for balance in my life. We are meant to feel relief and to appreciate it...but we have to actually let ourselves feel it from time to time.

Anyway...I am way off topic.  I will post this for now with the belief that it was meant to come out for whatever reason...and I will come back later to make it more reader friendly.  lol.

All is well in my world.

From Doubt to Knowing

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
Kahlil Gibran

We all experience the excruciating pain of doubt from time to time. 

In this process of  wanting and receiving...we often feel doubt when the thing we asked for; prayed for; pleaded for; worked so hard for  and desperately reached out for does not materialize when and how we think it should.

We doubt God at those times; we doubt the world and everything and everyone in it.  Most importantly and sadly, we doubt ourselves.

We become stuck on our journeys upward on the emotional ladder. Doubt breeds hopelessness and despair when we allow it to permeate our consciousness. We, as a result,  do not see clearly when we doubt.  We do not see the arms reaching out to us in love and support, or at least we do not trust those arms.  We do not see the beauty and blessing that sprouts around us. We don't see how good, worthy  and powerful we are.

In doubt we  appear to be stuck in a dark and lonely place and accept this place as our home. Yet, it is a self imposed prison that keeps us captive and our captor is the person who stares back at us in the mirror.

Truth is, we never have to stay in doubt.  We can set ourselves free at any time?  How?

There is a simple evolution that many of the masters and writers, I learn from, speak of that takes us from doubt to the beautiful freedom and grace of knowing.  The journey from doubt to knowing can be accomplished in less than three  minutes. I paraphrase this process in five mind healing steps:

1. Be aware when you are doubting. Recognize when you are in the dark place.  You will know it by an experience of sadness, frustration, resentment or a sense of "giving up" on your dreams or your ability to accomplish something. You will notice it in how you speak to self or others. There are an awful lot of "I can't"; "never", "always" "impossible" "too hard" and "not enough" in doubt.  When you are blaming others or life events  for "locking " you up in a situation that is "impossible" to get out of....you are doubting.  When you are telling yourself that life is too confusing to get through, that you do not have the skills or capability to succeed at something...you are doubting.  When you resist the arms that reach out to you to offer love and support, you are doubting. Recognize when you are in this dark place.  Accept that you are here and take accountability for being so.  No one or nothing made you doubt.  You reacted to what was around you with doubt.  Own that. Now...stay here in this place of conscious doubting, acceptance and accountability for no longer than 17 seconds. Then walk through the bars that were never there in the first place.
2. Take the likelihood of what you desire from doubtful to possible. Know that everything is possible.  Reword you doubts with possibility.  I can't becomes maybe I can.  "Maybe" is not where you want to stay but it is a good start...because maybe is a far cry from "I can't"...is it not?  Test how it feels to say..."Maybe, I can accomplish that; maybe I can get that; maybe I can receive what I really want from life"...etc etc.   Maybe is infused with the tiniest hint of hope and that hope brings us up the emotional ladder.  Stay here for 17 seconds.
3. Take the possible to probable. Take the maybe to likely. We do not want to skip too far ahead too quickly in this process.  Take it slow and gently.  It is a simple and gentle transition, is it not, from possible to probable?  Here, you tell yourself that "It is likely that I will achieve that; likely that I will accomplish that." Stay here for longer than 17 seconds.
4. Take the probable to belief. Here we extend the time we focus on the likelihood of something time wise and quality wise.  Stay in this likely place for at least 68 seconds.  You build on the momentum of the likely by looking for and collecting all the goodies you  have stored in your memory banks.  Recall the times you got what you  wanted; or when you  succeeded at something,.  Think of your blessings and feel gratitude for both what you have received and what you  will receive.  After 68 seconds...many experts including Abraham...insist that our subconscious file cabinet doors will open up to store these thoughts.  Once securely tucked into the subconscious...the thought becomes a belief.
5. Know.  From belief you  go to faith...which is doubt's twin brother who was hanging around from the beginning.  You  can just see him clearly now.  You  know who you  are, from whom you  came and what you  are capable of.  Feel the presence, the love here.  You  are, after all,  where you  want to be...in His company.

All is well.

References:

Again I really cannot credit one text or lecture...these ideas are a copulation of years of study.  I apologize to all who put these thoughts into my head for not recognizing them correctly here.

Marking papers and I have been dreaming about marking papers all night.  One of the hazards of the trade lol.   I got to go shortly...so I will make this quick.  I will write the first thought that pops into my head....ready?......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh well ...better luck next time.  Sometimes I am too focused.  I am in the marking frame of mind and that is where I will stay until the last red mark is deposited on the appropriate paper.  :)

All is well.

People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Mayo Angelou

Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Norman Vincent Peale

I started this journey many decades ago with a little book I found in my father's bookshelf entitled, The Power of Positive Thinking. I was 18, I believe at the time and I was an emotional mess.  I took the worn and tattered copy outside to the veranda where I spent many hours as a teenager writing out my woes in a journal, and I began to read.  I was blown away by this idea that by changing my thoughts I could change this mess of a life I felt I was in. I read. I highlighted. I wrote notes in my journal. I was on a mission to understand. I was so excited about the learning. Almost 40 years later, I am still trying to understand and I am still excited by it.

I was meant to find that book.  I know that now.  As I was meant to come across every other book that somehow landed on my lap after that.  I was being guided.  I guess, many would call that airy fairy nonsense but I know I was being guided by something bigger than me to find the healing I needed.  I discovered at that early age where the healing place existed ...in my mind...and it involved one thing...changing the way I thought.

So though the books have changed over the years as did the means by which the message was expressed in them; though the speakers have gone from straight laced pastors who always wore a suit to Buddhist monks, Indian Yogis and a middle aged woman channelling the collective consciousness in an entity called Abraham....the message really is the same.  Change your thoughts and you change your world.  It is that simple! 

So don't get tripped up over the references you find here or the means by which the message comes to us...just listen to the very simple wisdom in the message...the same message that was taught for centuries, centuries and centuries...the same message that was taught by those you may relate better too (through the words of the bible, for example,  if you are Christian). It is a universal truth, is it not? Change your thoughts and you change your world. 

It is all good.

All is well in my world.

References

Peale, N.V. (1952) The Power of Positive Thinking. New York: Simon & Shuster.

Taking the General Train to the Life We Want

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
Author unknown


Learning

I am still on this wanting trip lol.  Not that I am presently thinking of anything specific that I want but  I feel compelled to understand the principals of wanting and to share them. I have, of course, been tapping into Abraham seminars amongst all the other oodles of teachings I am getting from others: New age masters, psychologists, philosophers, physicists, scientists, Buddhist monks, yogis and swamis, as well as ancient scriptures like the Gita and the old testament.

All this learning is filling my head with ideas and rekindling concepts  that were already there. So man...I am on a rampage lol.

The Distance

The biggest issue I am clicking in to lately, in the teachings of Abraham and quantum physics specifically,  are related to the time space distance between wanting and getting.

How do we get what we ask for sooner so that we can go beyond believing  all the stuff we are opening our minds to learning... to knowing it, stuff that is way out there for the majority of the world to even consider?

If we are not showing physical evidence of receiving what we asked for...are we not no further ahead? 

As we stand there empty handed after professing so intensely that it will happen, are we not setting ourselves up for self and other judgment? 

Do those people who are watching us   on our vision quest,  not have a right then to say we are just crazier than a bag of hammers? Should we not be questioning our own mental health?



Evidence as the Goal

My goal in this ...is not so much to experience the things I ask for directly through prayer and intention  and indirectly through contrast...but to gain evidence of the validity of my new emerging beliefs in the power of waking up.

I want to "know" who I am, from where I came and what I am capable of.    I want to experience the Love, the joy, the bliss and the peace that comes from knowing that. That is my general goal. 

I ask for specific things  in order to provide evidence that I am going in the right direction: A regaining of financial stability and independence, a clean, easily to maintain home,  high level and "complete" wellness that begins with freedom from back, pelvic and chest pain...a diagnosis for all of these that gives me something to work with; healthy loving relationships, the well being of those I love, travel, adventure, writing success so even if my body stays where it is...I can have a career that fulfills me and provides an income; etc. etc.

I ask for very specific things.  I do not always see evidence of these things in my life?  Why?

Reasons for not manifesting

I am learning that there are two reasons why I am not manifesting ( for lack of a better word) .

1.  I am focusing on not having and
2. I am being too specific in my intentions.

What we need to do when we find that things are not showing up for us in the way we want them to or if we are becoming consumed with doubt...is to keep the faith and to take the general train to the life we want. 

 

Keep the Faith
 

There is a reason why we are on the path we are on...a reason why we are doing the kooky thing of  listening to collective spirits being channelled through a woman's body or reading all those other spiritual texts we were told to stay away from.

Truth is Speaking

Something inside us is encouraging us to meditate and go inward...to see the world differently than we have learned to see it. There is something whispering to us to go on despite all the whispering that may be going on behind our backs.  Something is telling us we are on the right track no matter what the rest of the world says or thinks. 

Your truth is speaking to you; my truth is speaking to me.  It is faith that guides us forward.  It is powerful.  Doubt will come again and again to test this faith...we do not need to succumb to it.  Just stop and listen to what is going on beyond the doubt. 

 

What do you feel when you read those books or hear those speakers or understand those scriptures...what do you feel?  If you are getting goose bumps, and feeling a "Yes!  Yes!  Yes!" radiating from somewhere within...the message,  from whatever form it came ...was meant to find you and it did.  It is not telling you something new...it is simply reminding you of what you already knew.  That's faith.  :)

When you doubt

 

When you do doubt...bring yourself back to remembering all the signs that God was watching over you...and helping you to understand. 

What did you manifest in your life that you asked for?  (In other words, what blessings and gifts have you already been given?) Remember that! 

What uncanny things showed up in response to a question that you passed off as coincidence?

What were you told or shown in dreams that you tried to ignore or dismiss as a result of something you  ate?  Remember those times those gut feelings led you in the right direction.

 

Something in us knows we are more than these bodies and these minds.  Something in us knows we are so much more than this.  It is that something that accepts the messages, the teachings, the serendipity as divine gifts and makes us tingle from head to toe with blessing. 

 

We need to know that the universe, God  has our backs always and forever, that what we ask for we receive...that it is there before us and that it will materialize into something we can experience with the five senses.  Knowing this, despite how crazy it sounds, is faith.

 

 

Take the General Train

 

When you do find that things are not turning out the way you want them to...that  your dreams are going unfulfilled or that the unwanted keeps showing up again and again in your life, it is time to take self inventory of your wanting thoughts. 

Chances are that at those low points in our life...our focus is on specific negative and unwanted things.  Focusing on the specific is like taking a snowball and rolling it down hill...it will pick up momentum and the faster it goes the bigger it will get.  More and more negative thoughts will fill our moments.  More and more unwanted things will show up in our life. We will get farther and farther away from the life we want. The time and space distance between what we want and where we are will seem  excruciatingly long.

How on earth then do we get there? 

Abraham describes four steps:

 

1. Be aware of what you are thinking right now...your thought and feeling focus.  Catch the specific focus before it has a chance to roll down hill. Write it down!  Read it out loud and be aware of how it makes you feel.  "My back pain won't go away.  I am not well enough to work full time and I can't pay the bills.  The collectors keep calling me.  I can't clean my house.  My kids behaviour is out of control...and I can get more specific about that.  I keep getting rejections from publishers or worse...no response at all. " How does this make me feel?  Frustrated, doubting, untrusting and possibly even hopeless that things will ever change.  Instead of embracing my present moment I feel stuck in it! Do not allow this momentum to get too big or too fast...Stay here no longer than 17 seconds before you skip to step 2.
2. Turn the experiencing of the specific unwanted into the general unwanted.  Instead of focusing on the specifics of the unwanted situations in your life, generalize it.  Take that example in the above paragraph and make it a more general description of your experience.  "Sometimes I do not feel as well as I would like to.  Right now my work and financial situation are not where I want them to be.  My environment sometimes reflects the unwanted.  Those I love are not always behaving or making choices I think they should make. Doing what I love to do is not always met with reward and external gratification."  That was pretty general, right? But I still felt some doubt, some frustration and I know if I stay here the momentum will pick up taking me back to the specifics.   Can we take it farther?  " I realize I am not reaching my goal of complete well being as quickly as I like...this would of course require a balance between the mind, body, spirit as well as the other requirements of physical world stability: financial, social, sexual , occupational types of things. I feel frustrated as a result and succumb to doubt about this process." The more general I get, the less frustration I feel and the doubt begins to dwindle. Hopelessness is gone! Stay here no longer than 17 seconds before going to step 3
3. Turn it all around  to a general wanting of the opposite of the unwanted. Instead of projecting it all into the future, "I will feel better when..." know that what was asked for is not just coming, it is already here. " Though the process of getting to where I want to be seems slow...it really isn't.  Things are vibrationally happening very quickly.  I ask and I receive.  I know that somethings have showed up in my life already when I needed them too...they will continue to show up.  I am never given more than I can handle.  I will keep the faith and keep going because I know where I am going is a wonderful place.  I am in a wonderful place. I am meant to have complete well being and I will have it.  I do have it!!! As it materializes in front of me...and it is...I prove to myself and to others who I am...who we all are and what we have the ability to create. This is an amazing adventure of faith. I am excited and enthused.  I already feel the Love and joy I seek and it will continue to grow inside me the more awake and aware I become of God's presence in my life. " With this I give up my frustration  and my doubt and faith resurfaces...hope resurfaces...I feel a little giddy and excited.  Hold this momentum for at least 68seconds but as long as you can.  Make sure you "feel" good. If you don't go back and rephrase it in a way that makes you feel good or at least better.
4. Get specific in the wanting.  Once we have the momentum of general wanting going at a good clip and the feeling is getting bigger and bigger ...we can introduce the specifics.  Start with the future projection but quickly bring it to present.  " I want to feel physically energetic and vibrant, free of pain.  I want to be able to be active.  I want to make a full time  income doing what I love.  I want a clean, easy to maintain home.   I want to see my children in the best possible light knowing who they are, where they came from and what they are capable of.  I want publications. etc etc.  I know if I get these things...it will leave me feeling the joy of love, the peace of love, the security of love.  My life will be full of excitement, enthusiasm, and adventure.  I will embrace it head on with the same energy.  I will love so big and give so big. It will be amazing to feel this way all the time.  It  will prove to me and  all what we are as human beings...it will teach, motivate and inspire others to go after the lives they want...to grow and expand beyond survival.  It will help to heal the world." This is wonderful right?...full of positive desire...but it is lacking something vital.  It is  all future tense as if to say that what I want I will find in the future...therefore my happiness and joy...will only occur in the future, not in the present moment.  It is in the present moment that we live.  It is now that counts.  We want to feel good now!!!! So without shooting too far so we believe what we are saying we need to rephrase that with truths.   I am physically energetic and vibrant in many ways right now, free of pain most of the time.  I am active.  I am in the process of working full time at what I love and earning a good income.  I get to teach...do something else I love part time. I see my children in the best possible light.  I see my home becoming cleaner and more manageable one step at a time. Publishers are considering my work right now and it is so exciting .  :) I am feeling the joy of love, peace and security right now!!!! My life is full of excitement, enthusiasm and adventure...I can feel it in my core.  I am teaching, motivating and inspiring.  As I heal within I help to heal the world.  I don't really have to prove anything...what is is.  :) At any time that you are saying this or writing this and it feels like too much of a leap (doubt jumps in) step back and try something else, more general, that leaves you feeling excited, tingly, happy, sure etc. Make sure you feel good as you say or write these wants down. The feeling good is the most important thing. :)  Keep this momentum going for as long as you can but for no less than 68 seconds.

What you are looking for, is actually found in step 4. When you feel the way you are hoping the thing you asked for will make you feel...you got what you want.  It is the feeling of love, joy, bliss, peace that we are really after isn't it? Go there often and stay as long as you can.  Eventually the specific request will materialize as an extra bonus.

All is well in my world. .

References:
Please note that the above ideas have come from a collection of tapes, books, seminars on Youtube by Abraham Hicks over the years .  I cannot specify at this point



If you judge people you have no time to love them.
Mother Teresa

Lovely morning...a bit cloudy and damp but the robins are amazing out there ...so, so beautiful.  I have bread in the oven, my tea and my words in front of me.  What can get better than that?    It is all good.

I have recently come to a conclusion about something through conversations with others over the evil doings by some against humanity and some of my very enlightening dreams lately.

I am starting to understand that we are not to judge others as being evil even though their violent acts against humanity are judged as such. 

The ultimate question arises.  If we could look at these acts and these people through the eyes of pure un relenting Love, what would we see?

We wouldn't be able to see evil, would we?  Evil is seen only through the eyes of fear and fear is the opposite of Love.  We can not truly Love with all our being and fear at the same time.  So how would we see evil?   God is pure unrelenting Love...that sees no evil. 

I know, I know that goes against everything most of us were brought up to believe in our religious teachings.  We were made  to believe there was good and there was evil.  There was Heaven and there was Hell...God would judge and determine in which direction we are heading. 

So what do we do as humans who believe this?  We help God out by judging and sorting people out in their respective pens for Him.  "You can  go here and wait for Heaven...cause you are so nice.  I will accept you, embrace you and love you. You, over there with the evil grin on your face, you who  committed that awful bad thing...you go over here and wait for the elevator to take you down to you know where.  While you are waiting...I will poke at you, shun you, condemn you, leave you in pain.  I will reject you, fear you and hate you." 

We help God out!

Imagine though...if we got it all wrong. 

Imagine if God didn't need our help...or more importantly want our help in the judging department.  What if He, is in His pure egoless state,  looked upon the happenings of our world and did not see them in the same way  we did in our ego dominated states?

What if He just saw Love and all else was just illusion?

What if He saw the same glorious inner being in every single one of us...no matter what we did? 

Would He not want us to see that too? Would He not want us to Love?

Then, why on earth...would He want us to do the judging, separating and condemning for Him?

 Maybe we need to start seeing the world and each other without the fear that distorts our perceptions and with the Love that brings all things to light...like He does.  In the mean time we should put down our cattle prods and our labels.  Don't you think?

Food for thought!

All is well in my world

Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:24

I have been writing about wanting lately.  "The Law of Attraction" depicted by The Secret is  the way many people would describe the phenomenon I write about.  I have no problem with whatever terminology is used.     For me, personally however, there is no label for this that will suffice other than grace. Words, I believe, are too limiting in their ability to describe it.  So if people want to refer to this wanting and receiving as the Law of Attraction...go or it. It will not change what it actually is.  In the beginning of my understanding...I actually referred to it as such. 

I just caution that we don't over simplify it, commercialize it in a way that would please the ego or dismiss the true value of it.  This divine gift of "Ask and you shall receive." is not a vending machine proposal.  You don't put your toonie in (prayer, petition, intention), push the select button on what you want...and plop there it is in the tray beneath, waiting for you.  Source  is not there to meet your personal cravings with instant gratification. Though these universal laws are much simpler than we make them out to be with our overthinking, they go beyond ego based instant gratification. Therefore, they are not so easily understood or accepted by our egos. Like the laws of electricity and gravity, we cannot "see" them in action. They go beyond the visible world we see.  Yet, what I write about isn't new age hocus pocus either.  It isn't a fairy tale or fantasy.  It is the ancient  truth spoken by spirit and science together.  

I am not believing this just because I want to believe in unicorns. I have a scientific mind...I ask a question and I set out to find the answer and to validate it. I am not pulling the information from thin air.  I have researched this. I have hundreds of  highlighted books behind me that I have read over and over. I have sat through hundreds of lectures.  I have tested it.  I have practiced and experienced it. At the same time...I was and am always willing to listen to that quiet voice within me that whispers that this is the truth:  "Ask and you shall receive."

I am not saying I am an expert...far from it.  I am merely a student.  What makes a student?  Someone willing and motivated to learn with an open mind.  That's me.

So if you come upon my stuff and you find it hard to swallow...that's okay.  You do not have to accept it or me.  I am okay with that.  But if you come across my stuff and you find yourself stopping and questioning...great...I hope I can help with the answers to my own questioning.  These questions and ideas that have been spinning around the human mind  for centuries and centuries are not mine.  They are not unique to me. They are also not meant to lead to cult followings; to take people from their present religious practices; or to trick people into "sin"...they are just meant to wake people up to the truth of who we really are and from where we came.  They are meant to open consciousness, expand it beyond our present limitations  so our species evolves in the way it is intended to.  

That's enough about that. lol

All is well in my world.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Acceptance vs The Giving -Up-On-Wanting Cancer

Accepting the present moment just as it is, is not the same as giving up.  When we give up, we are listening to the voices of doubt. When we accept, we are quieting those voices and listening to the silent whispers of  the spirit.
Dean Jackson (Poet)

I wrote yesterday about getting beyond that feeling of "not having" to healthy wanting.  I guess, I also need to speak a little more on healthy accepting.  There is a difference between accepting what is and giving up on expectation for desire fulfillment...a big difference.

Though we may assume we are in acceptance mode when we don't get frazzled when something, we were so sure was about to show up, doesn't we might actually be on our way to succumbing to the  giving- up -on -wanting cancer.  How do we know if our approach to acceptance is getting sick?

Sick  Acceptance

We will know this defeatist attitude is beginning to grow in us like a malignant tumour, replacing our healthy wanting cells, when we adopt and "Oh well!  That's Life " attitude to every disappointment and unfulfilled desire we encounter.

When our bank accounts  are still in the red after years of practicing "allowing," for example,  and we hear ourselves saying "Oh well!  That's life. I better get used to it." ...we are getting sick

Sure we have not yet  come out and  said the taboo words of manifesting , "I will never get what I want anyway, so why should I even bother wanting. " but that is the thought direction we are heading in. 

The universe responds to that thought vibration by holding back.  Things are not showing up.  Time is passing from days, months, to years and still our desires go unfulfilled.  It will seem that the universe is not answering our request.

When we assume that our requests are being denied, we begin to believe that disappointment, frustration, a lack of,  is permanently etched into our future and there is no escaping our destiny.  The time and space between what we want and where we are takes up all our attention.

The Giving-Up-On-Wanting Cancer

When our attention is there, we are  creating more of what we don't want and more distance, time and space between what we originally asked for and where we are now. It is uncomfortable here in the in between so we step back onto the familiar and somewhat stable ground of not having.  At this point, we are very sick.

We are mentally going beyond accepting what is... to giving up on what could be.  When we find ourselves "sucking it up" more that we are "launching it out there"  ...we are pretty much getting to the more advanced stages. Our dreams are dying...well they are dying in our minds and in our minds only.

Source will not be deterred

Source will still provide no matter how our dreams mutate and decay.  Source will still pick up the energy vibration brought about by contrast and send a rocket of desire out on our behalf. (Abraham) Source will answer us.  Source will look after us always...providing for us constantly.  Source doesn't recognize cancer or illness in any form. 

The giving-up-on wanting cancer, therefore,  will not deter Source but it will deter us from realizing the gifts Source is providing for us.   With this disease we lose the ability to see clearly. We can no longer see how we are loved, protected, provided for and that all we have to do is ask and we will receive. We stop expecting because it is becoming too painful and disappointing.  It is easier to just say "That's Life!  and that is the way my life is going to be!"

We go beyond giving-in to the wisdom of life flow to giving up on the abundance the life flow carries with it for us.  We go beyond accepting to succumbing. We go from soaking up the positivity God offers to being buried under the negativity Ego offers.

This is us backing away from God...not vice versa.  God has not backed away from us! 

When we lose connection to our desire...we lose the awareness of our connection to Source...and  we stop allowing all that is intended for us to come to us.  We will be stuck in a state of not having.  It has to be understood...that we are not accepting here...we are giving up.

Accept, don't succumb

Acceptance of what is, is essential to our growth and expansion as human beings but we need to know the difference between  accepting and succumbing. 

Acceptance says,  "This is the way my life is right now...I may not like it...but I will desire this or that and I will get it so that I don't stay here in this situation I do not desire." 

Acceptance shows the contrast, sends out the desire and is full of faith and hope in the outcome. 

Succumbing is accepting the now for what it is...sure...but it looks at all the lack, all the disappointment, and time between the asking and the receiving of requests as being all there is.  Succumbing says, "It sucks but I guess I have to live like this.  Might as well settle in and make the most of it because it isn't going to get better."

There is no faith in succumbing...no hope...that the next moment will be better...that this moment can have more in it beyond acceptance. There is no more "wanting" or desiring because it seems so hopeless.

There is no moving up the emotional scale in succumbing...where there is in true acceptance. 

True acceptance takes us up the ladder...succumbing to the giving-up-on-wanting cancer will only bring us down farther.

I realize that I have this mental cancer .  One of the reasons why things do not seem  to happen for me as quickly as I would like; why my life is not changing for ways I think are better and more desirable...is because my thinking is sick. 

I need surgery and chemotherapy before I can begin to get better.  I need to cut out the "Oh Well!  That's Life!  I better get used to it!" thoughts that fill my moments and that have been subconsciously  causing so much pressure. I also  need to infuse myself with treatments of hope and faith.

With the right amount of care, the tumours will shrink and healthy new wanting cells will take their place.  :) I am confident of that. 

All is well in my world.