Release, Relax and Let Go

 

In a gentle way you can shake the world.

Gandhi

At the end of every yoga practice when I or my students are in Savasana I utter three gentle commands, repetively and very much intentionally, as we progress through each body part on the body scan: "Relax, release and let go".  I want them to let go of muscle tension  in those areas while they are on the mat so the body relaxes fully but I also want them to learn to release mental tension while they are off the mat  so they can  live peacefully.  

Release, Relax, Let Go: The First Step in Living a Peaceful and Joyful Life

It is obvious from all my writing and speaking that the  biggest thing to be learned is that we cannot control Life, right? Life is going to be Life...offering all kinds of wonderful experiences that seem to fill us with joy...and offering all kinds of challenging experiences that can fill us with pain.  Accepting and allowing Life to be Life is a crucial step that begins with releasing and letting go of resistance and relaxing into what Life offers....whatever it offers without judgement, expectation and a need to know what will happen next.  

So whenever we are met with one of Life's bumpy circumstances ...be it in the form of a challenging  event, a "difficult" person or a nasty feeling...the first step is always going to be to "Relax, release and let go of resistance". 

Michael Singer and many great Masters teach this again and again. If we want to live peacefully and joyfully "no matter what" Life is throwing our way. ...we need to learn to lean in softly to all  that enfolds in each given moment instead of getting tight with resistance against it. (That resistance comes with denying, pretending, supressing, repressing, numbing, avoiding, fighting against, controlling, trying to change that which we have no business changing, using this moment as a stepping stone to get to some other moment up ahead etc)  Relaxing, releasing and letting go into what is... is the secret to a happy Life.

Of course, doing so is going to require a certain degree of deconditioning from old habits of judging, expecting and seeking to manipulate, control, fix the world around us so it accomodates us.A  desire to let go of old ways that never worked and a committed practice of trying another way  is necessary.  It might be easier to practice with the "small" things so we gain a sense of mastery over the mind in gradual increments.

A Small Thing

 My cup is missing. I looked for it this morning when I was about to drink my tea and it was gone.  I felt that tightening in my core, that feeling or resistance and I said, "There! Use this as part of your practice. Relax, release, and let go!" Dealing with the challenge of a missing cup is no big deal, is it?  I leaned in to the feeling that I won't be drinking from my favorite cup.  I relaxed into it...released tension and for this morning let go of some need I had to drink from this cup.

Now...it is not just the cup that is the issue....we all know that, right?   It is an ego that is losing its "Me, My and Mine" power that is the real problem.  

Something Bigger

It is also this realization that  came this morning like a flash of light with my missing cup that I am likely  dealing with a passive-aggressive tendency in another.

So my ego which is still swarming with  "I am losing 'Me', 'My' and 'Mine'" is feeling threatened by this tendency in this person ...I first of all don't want to believe it is there. I wanted to believe I was dealing with a suffering being who genuinely needed and appreciated my help when I first opened up my home ...that I was indeed helping.  Still I have been noticing these subtle little things from the beginning that indicate a passive-aggressive tendency on top of everything else.  I can handle just about anything of the biggies in challenging behaviour but it was the possibility of this that was making me all resistant inside. If it is this...I tell myself...I am not helping anyone...least of all, 'me'! I have pushed this suspicion  down,  denied  and ignored this gut twisting knowing  I had all along,...chucked it up to many different things because I did not want to deal with something like this in another.  Man... Passive-aggression  is tough to deal with ! It is like being punched repeatedly in the gut when the lights are out...never being able to prove where the punches are coming from, never being able to know or trust the motivations of another. 

So my cup is missing...no big deal right? It is just a cup...but my missing cup whispers to  me that there is something bigger going on here. My resistance to the fact that this is the way it is...was and is my problem when it comes to my present living condition.

So I am not fighting back...not resiting...I am simply seeing what is...relaxing, releasing and letting go. I accept that this is what I am living with now...It does not mean I will live with this tomorrow.  Definitely not! It just means for now I let go and relax into this...accepting and allowing it to be exactly as it is.  Not judging, expecting or needing to know what will happen next. It is just the way it is.  He is just the way he is.  I am just the way I am.  No big deal. 

Fisrt step: Relax, release and let go! I can do that. 

All is well