Outside and Inside Resistance

 

Don't deal with anything outside, until you deal with it inside.

Michael Singer

I am still thinking a great deal about resistance and why it is so important to "let go" and "Let Life" do what it will. In most cases, resistance, is something we want to avoid...or  "let go" of. It is often the main thing in our way of staying open to the  natural, peaceful center within us.  We want to be open to what is, right? Amazing things can happen if we learn to let go of resistance. 

Letting Go of Resistance

We can actually change external circumstances. My finger, which was three times the size of  the one on the other hand on Saturday,  is almost  normal now ,without any intervention what so ever.  There is very little  swelling redness or heat in it.  I was so sure it was going to be an IV antibiotic scrape...it looked (and felt) that bad. Poof! Gone! I can't explain it but I am very happy about it and grateful!! And I can actually bend it lol! 

Not that the finger issue was anything big but it was something I was internally resisting.  I so didn't want to have to go in to ER to get a doctor to look at it. Stress, as we know, affects the immune system. What we resist persists...this idea that my finger may need IV antibiotics...was literally making my finger worse.   I let go of my resistance to the fact that my finger was infected, however,  and made some semblance of peace with the decision  that if it was not somewhat better by Monday, I would go in. In the meantime I told myself  would "let it go".  I mean...I really let it go...out of sight and out of mind. When Monday came  the finger was so much better, and even better still on Tuesday. Wow!  

I also made complete peace with my glasses.  I went in to the office,  told the person there they were not the ones I ordered but that I would accept them if they got adjusted properly and decided to say they are what they are.  When I think about the fact that they were not the ones I picked out and that they were expensive ...I feel nothing in the resistance center of my gut...no twisting and turning...just nothing.  On Friday...the gut was so active over this issue. ...my lack of reaction now tells me the feeling has passed through. 

Transcending Resistance

I know I have transcended the resistance in these areas. I noticed and allowed the experiences and what they had to offer into my life, into my conscious awareness...I allowed the resistance as well and it all just passed through me.  In one situation the external circumstances even changed without me having to do anything. I think that is amazing.

Trying to Deal Inside

It is true.  We need to work on our insides before we deal with the outside. Resistance can indicate that we are closing up internally to selected experiences because they do not meet our preferences, expectations and pleasure centers....because they don't make us feel good inside.  Many times resistance is an indication that we have some stuffed stuff inside that was touched by that which we resist( push away or avoid feeling) whether it be  some person's behaviour, or some circumstance. When we resist we shut down, retract and contract from the flow of Life, instead of letting this energy  just pass through us the way it is meant to . We don't stay open. So in most cases letting go is the answer when we feel the first twinge of resistance.  (With me...it is in my gut). 

Michael Singer stresses that the spiritual path should be one of non resistance, so we should relax and release into everything we encounter. 

But...

Sometimes, we need to deal with what is going on outside...

And this is what I really want to write about. All forms of resistance, I am discovering, are not created equal.  

Gut Feeling Telling Us to Resist Something Out There

Sometimes resistance serves another purpose.  Sometimes it is there to make us listen in what we casually call a gut feeling! Gut feelings, many times , I believe, are a form of resistance to what is when what is is potentially damaging or destructive on our path to peace. Sometimes the blockages to our discovery of Self are affected directly by external energies and not just our reaction to them.  

There are times, maybe, when there are certain external energies on our path that we should not relax and release into, that we should not  let flow through, that we should walk around.  There are energies that originate outside of us that are harmful to our bodies, psyches and all that which surrounds the peaceful center. An angry Grizzly Bear is just an angry Grizzly...neither good or bad...just a bear being a bear but that doesn't mean one doesn't get out of its way when it ends up on our path. Usually we get a good strong resistance feeling when we encounter that energy that says "Move!". .

The Root of Resistance

I believe, as I spoke about in my last few entries, I am encountering that energy.  Right where I am now, I believe,  provides a perfect example of a very tricky Life lesson brought on by encountering this type of  resistance. Now when I look into this , I see layers and layers of resistance over some buried stuff related to a deeper more authentic form of resistance, the root of all this,  that I believe is my gut instinct.  When I strip all the  other layers of resistance away I see I am confronting this dark, unconscious energy in another and I am being told to resist it, not to let it in. 

So I take that pure inner declaration that comes from a place I cannot see or explain and try to apply concepts to it so I understand what I am suppose to do with  it on teh spiritual level. I am asking "Do I allow it and  let go to it in hope that it passes through me without doing too much damage to the exterior me that isn't really me anyway or do I resist it by saying : "No!I don't want this in me" because it itself can not only directly take me from peace but it can do and has done damage? 

Without the many layers of outer resistance to this resistance that I have been seeing through, I notice it in my experience now.  I see how it has impacted my life over the last ten months...how I reacted to it with supression, repression, avoidance, denial etc...placing one layer of resistance on top of the other....only to have the deepest core resistance push its way to the surface again and again.  It wants to be heard!  So I can look at this gut feeling now. I even allow it now ...I allow it all ....but the question is ...do I allow it to go any further within me. I hear "No!" from my gut instinct.  

 I still need to relax and release into what is, remove judgement, expectation and  a need to know what will happen from my experience and allow it to just be. ...for now.  That is always the most important  first step. Then I unravel one layer of resistance at a time...sit with it...let it flow through me. ...using my gut twisting to indicate if it has passed through or not.  When I can sit with all that I was resisting without feeling the gut twist with a need for more resistance...then I will know it passed through.  Then I can continue with the inspired action needed to make change in a loving, clear headed and peaceful way that will benefit all in the end.

Okay...I know what I have to do. And in this case resistance is telling me I have to do something.

All is well!