A Resistance Cup

The way to become one with the universe is to trust it as you would another.

Alan Watts 

I am drinking tea at the moment from my favorite cup.  It was given to me in a thoughtful little gesture from my daughter. She seen it at the Dollar Store one day, thought of me and baught it for me. It is just a cheap little dollar store cup but it is "mine."

I am very protective of this cup because it not only keeps the tea perfectly hot and is a sentimental object...it is a salute to Yoga. It explains yoga in a few words and it says "I'd rather be doing Yoga" all over it. So I tell people,"  This is my "Yoga" cup, don't drink out of it and leave it somewhere where I won't have access to it!" 

Of course they still do...(as I have explained before ...there is not always consideration for what is "mine" anymore, not that that is a malicious intent, and as I also explained that in the long run  may be a good thing in helping me get past my ego.) Still...I cling to ownership of this cup as I cling to some semblance of "me, my and mine" in this household I percieve I am being so diminshed in.  I resist people using it! 

So I will hide it or keep it dirty until I am ready to use it again...washing it then...just so no one takes this little piece of "me" away. So silly, I know...almost pathetic...but it is just a way to hold onto "my" place here, "a" place here, in a home that was once "mine". This causes guilt and shame in me for not being evolved enough to let go. Then I will justify my clinging, my attachment, my deception by saying..."It is a yoga cup...it was given to me...I have a 'right' to it. " 

This is actually not a yoga cup...it is a "resistance cup", the opposite of yoga. There are three things that make it a resistance cup. 

The first is what it represents to me. Clinging to the cup represents my resistance to my present set of circumstances. 

What I do with this cup is a form of resistance to what is.  I am resisting others physically taking my cup so I can't drink out of it...just like I mentally and emotionally resist others pushing me into the corner of my dining room table so they can feed themselves; just like I resist others not considering  the "me", who is technically and legally the "owner" of this house,  as more than a passing thought that can be swiped away. 

This is my "situation" right now whether it is mostly in my environment or in my mind.  This is  my experience.  My mind is judging it, be it real or not, as "bad, wrong and shouldn't be!"  That is resistance! I am resisting what is.  I find myself also saying, "I don't want this in my life right now!" 

The thing is...it is in my life right now.  My resistance to it is saying, "Okay Life...I don't like what you are doing here.  I think you have it all wrong...this is "bad" and shouldn't be!" 

I am using precious energy to growl Life, to distrust it and to resist it...as if I know better.  I don't know better.   

This is how Life is unfolding in front of me right now.  It is what it is.   Right now...I am in a situation where there is little "me, my or mine", where  I percieve I am losing out to others, where I am feeling like things are being taken from me, be it space, peace of mind or a cup. I am in a situation where I am feeling resentment, fear, diminishment, guilt and shame as well as a good dose of confusion. 

That doesn't mean  it will stay this way...these things will come and they will go....like all the things Life shows us or gives us and it is all okay.  There is no problem in this.  It just is.

The thing that generates the resistance is my mind telling me, "This is wrong, bad and shouldn't be".  It is my looking at what Life offers with judgement, expectation and a need to know how it will all turn out that causes the idea of problem.  It is my attempting to tell Life that "my" way is better when I don't even have a way.lol...that makes my cup and my approach to Life right now one of resistance.

Life knows what it is doing.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.

This cup is also a resistance cup because of what it says:

"I'd rather be doing yoga!" 

When I look at these words as I sit and drink my tea in peaceful solitude...the cup is not looking up at me with the wisdom of a yogic master...it is looking up at me with resistance  to what is.  "This moment," it is basically saying, "is not where you would rather be; what you are doing right now is not what you would rather be doing...you would rather be doing yoga than what you are doing right here and right now!" 

It takes my attention  away from my present moment and puts me into some future moment up ahead where I can do yoga. It takes me from this quiet spot and drags me down to my studio. As much as I love yoga...I cannot be practicing it all the time. 

This moment right here and right now is pretty great as it is...I think right now I would rather be here doing nothing. 

And what is this "doing yoga!" One does not do yoga...one becomes yoga...one falls into perfect unity with all. I mean we "do" asanas in preparation for yoga but we do not "do" yoga. 

The third way this object becomes a resistance cup is because it generates resistance  to my resistance.

I see how I am "reacting" and I feel guilty and ashamed for not being more evolved, for not being able to let go of the "my, mine, and me" of this. I know I am resisting and I am resisting the fact that I am resisting.  I am not leaning into this resistance ...I am not accepting and allowing the resistance within me as a temporary expression that will flow through.  I tell myself my resistance is "bad, wrong and shouldn't be," when just like my present life circumstance, it just is. It is what it is...that simple.  I am where I am at in my awakening and it is exactly where I am supposed to be right now.  I don't have to beat myself up for it.  I can just lean into it.

Hmm!  This little cup has a lot to teach me, doesn't it? Life has a lot to tecah us all if only we would trust her a little more...and accept and allow what she has to offer instead of always resisting it. 

Maybe I need to loosen my  grip on the handle of this cup.  What do you think? 

Let's see, Life, what you are going to do next...

All is well.