Loving Truely

Is it a wonder, then, that love will overcome all, for with love there is no fear, and with love there is no hate; with Love there is no opposition. True love, then, is simply recognition of the spiritual unity of all life.
Uell S. Andersen, The Three Keys, Chapter 8

Hmm!  Still contemplating and examining the way Andersen's words feel inside of me.  Can we really change our worlds and our lives by focusing on what we really want?

What is it that we really, really want?  That is probably the biggest question. In Chapter 8, Andersen answers that question beautifully. 

Love is What We Want

What we want is Love...that simple. Of course we sometimes get confused as to what Love is and seek it in the way directed by the movie screen or the romance novel.  We seek it in a special relationship with one person ( or a few family members and friends) , excluding the vast majority of the world in that selection. And of course, as ACIM teaches, the special relationship will not fulfill us because Love is so much more than that.

Closing Up to Love

Michael Singer tells us not to close up to Love.  When we close up to Love we close up to Life. Many of us are closed up, selecting only a few individuals to love and take care of, making "strangers" and even "enemies" of the rest of the world.  We live in a state of fear when we see ourselves as separate little beings lost and disconnected from our Source.  We try to fuse back into that Oneness again in many ways...for most of us it with the special relationship.  Yet that never fulfills us for long because Love is so much more than that. 

Not only does relying on a special relationship  not always fulfill us...it causes pain on many occasions...it pushes us away from relating.  If you have ever had your heart broken, or have been disappointed by the way someone was "not making you happy", you can attest to the fact that it is very difficult to open up to others in the same way again.  The fear of being hurt again dominates and we build protective walls around ourselves that close us off to love and offer only a false sense of security.  This sense of  limited security comes at a cost. When we live in fear, constantly needing to protect self from further pain, we are pinching ourselves  off from true Love. We are actually pinched off from the very thing we hunger for..., connection with Our Source. God is love, thus the great teaching he left us is that all humanity dwells in love and love dwells in all humanity, and all things good, great and small, are wrought by love. (Andersen)

While fear leaves us closed and pinched off, True Love reminds us that we are united and One with all in the way that matters most, at the spiritual dimension.  It is not just a feeling, but a way of being.  True Love is openness, and the fostering of a  widened and immense heart.  It is not finite.  It is infinite.  It is not limited and conditional.  It is unlimited and boundless. And it dwells in us already.  We do not have to seek it "out there".

Open Up to Love or Suffer

 As Singer teaches, we either close or don't close. Andersen goes on to say we really only have two choices to love or to suffer. When we close up in life and believe we are limited and at the mercy of being hurt by Love...we will pull away from that which offers infinite joy.  We will suffer.  We are closing ourselves up to God. 

When we open to Life, we open to love and we open to God. This is where we will find joy and peace and  a true sense of safety.
God is love; love is life; we are love. ...The perfect seed of love is within. Perfect love is in each of us constantly seeking outlet.  All we have to do is let it!

The Four Elements of True Love

Thich Nhat Hanh offers the four elements of True Love in  the below dharma talk. The four elements are Maitre (loving kindness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita ( mutual joy) and Upeksa ( non-discrimination /equanimity).  These elements are needed in all our relating with beings on the outside but also, I believe, with relating to ourselves.

Maitre

We need loving kindness as we seek to understand the other or Self.  It is not about criticizing, punishing, adding to guilt and shame but being friendly and understanding those parts that we would rather not see in self or the others.  When we look at all beings, as well as ourselves, with loving kindness...we open up our hearts and lives to Love.

Karuna

We need compassion as well...we need to be able to look at suffering in self and others and help to transform it.  We do not jump into the pit of misery with the other or part of self that is suffering.  We observe it from a helpful distance and help from this place.  If we identify with our suffering or the suffering of another we will not be able to help.  We will be lost in it. It is from the clear expanse of Love that we help to transform suffering into something beautiful.

Mudita

We need joy as well.  Opening up to Love and Source, is opening up to joy.  It is not a jealous joy but a shared joy.  We are happy for others when they are happy.  We are happy for ourselves when things work out as well and we share that joy with teh world.  The other's happiness is yours, and yours is there.  We recognize that spiritual unity.

Upeksa

Finally, we need to remain non -discriminating and all inclusive.  We do not love a few.  We love all.  We do not just love parts of ourselves, we love all.  We put aside our preferences and our repulsions and we seek the whole united picture of Love instead. We open up to all beings and all of Life.

Why?  Because are all one.  Love is the force that runs through all of us.
Love knows that your neighbor is yourself, that your enemy is yourself, that there is only one power behind all space and time and form. (Andersen)

An Example,

I know the world is still reeling after the incident with George Floyd.  In my province we also, in the span of a couple of weeks, had two similar incidents take place with two First Nations individuals.  There has obviously been a great deal of misrepresentation, prejudice and injustice directed towards this group from the time the "settlers" first arrived on a land they were inhabiting very peacefully and respectfully for centuries prior to the arrival of Europeans.  Like come on!  Reservations and Residential schools??  How does a population get away with doing that to another and call it Love???

Anyway , without getting into too much detail, I will say that two individuals lost their lives at the hands of law enforcement.  Because  the voice of this group is so much weaker in helplessness here these incidents may never be publically associated with racism or social injustice. And I am not saying they are or they are not.  I do not have all the details...nor do I want them.  I just know...I felt and feel very, very sad as I learn of this.  I am sad for all.

What I am  trying to say, is that we can choose sides and close up very quickly when we look into these situations as observers.  If  I ,as a Caucasian , do not accept  the social injustice, the racism that has been paramount in this area for centuries...I may close up to these two individuals with a "Oh they must have deserved it!"  And if I  do recognize it and find the injustice in what my ancestors have done, I might say , "Oh!  Another incident of police brutality.  Someone has got to make those officers pay for what they did." In either case...I am projecting out blame or excuses.

We Are Both Sides

When we choose sides like this we are narrowing our vision and the opening in our hearts.  We are selecting.  We are closing up to half of the  whole picture.  We are not Loving in this incident.  If we were loving we would see that we are both the victim and the law enforcement.  We are the circumstances that led to the incidents in the first place. (In this case from  the drug related problems in our society leading to desperation, fear and reactivity to the unfair segregation that took place centuries ago). If we were loving, we would neither dismiss it nor would we seek to blame and make others "pay".  We are both the victim and the law enforcement! We are the circumstances that led to this....can we not get that?  Really get that fact? All Life is united!! The persons who died could have been us and the persons who did the killing could have been us.

If we got that, really got that, we would offer loving kindness to all concerned.  We would compassionately look at the suffering and the cause for it so we can help to transform it:  Instead of saying, "Make the racist pay!", using hate against hate, we might ask,"Why is there still so much racism, inequality in this world and what can I do to make a difference? Why is there so much fear and reactivity.  What can I do to make a difference."  (Of course, we have to start with healing our own minds, which is One mind, before we can heal the world.)

The pain of both sides would be our pain.  We would also see suffering in both the victim's life , their families' lives, the lives of the people they identify with as well as those who are responsible for the deaths, their families  and the people they identify with and we would ask, ''What can I do to make a difference there." We just want the suffering to transform into something that will be beneficial to all.

If we were truly open to Love as we viewed these incidents we would love all involved, regardless of what they did.  We would see ourselves in both parties. We may never like what was done, nor should we...but we would see beyond deed to doer.  In that doer we see ourselves.

Hmmm!  True Love is not necessarily the easiest path.  It certainly isn't ego's. But it is God's and I really believe the path God wants us to be on. If we can open up like this , make room in our hearts for this...imagine what we can do.

All is well!

ACIM

Andersen, Uell S. Three Magic Words. Kindle Edition

Plum Village (April, 2020) Four Elements of True Love/Thich Knat Hanh/ Short Teaching Video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKWIeQXCKvU

Singer, M. ( 2007) The untethered soul. New Harbinger