Vairagya (non-detachment) literally means "colorless"....Every desire literally brings its own color to the mind. The moment you color the mind, a ripple is formed- just as when a stone is thrown into a calm lake, it creates waves in the water. When the mind is tossed by these desires one after the other, there won't be peace in the mind.
Satchidanada, page22
There is a commonly heard expression amongst us humans who depend on the outside world to open and close us to Shakti flow. You may have heard it?
When it rains,it pours.
It may be worthy of exploring as we learn more about the yogic term, vairagya.
I heard myself uttering those words yesterday as I watched the water pouring from the ceiling in the basement....through the ceiling tiles and light fixtures down over my head like rain doing an undetermined amount of damage. My grandson was standing beside me and he said something about it raining inside. I nodded my head and said, "Yeah...when it rains it pours." and I just stood there getting soaked.
Its been a day...another one after so many challenging days in the last little while. We lost our water for 36 hours. Life without water in this house is challenging enough. On top of that, I have a loved one who epitimizes the "preferring mind" and whenever Life is not matching her needs perfectly...she resists and reacts big time to the point she is absolutely miserable to be around...She has an "It is all about me" attitude and when one is rushing around trying to problem solve one's way through a problem so all members in the household are impacted as less as possible, depending on teammanship and patience, one doesn't want to deal with that type of attitude. I got attacked again and again for this unforeseeable problem and how difficult it made her life. I was also scheduled to look after my grandson for two nights and three days as his mother worked nights. I couldn't bring him here with no water so I went there. She has a beautiful large dog who is way too hyper for a stressed out human to deal with lol. He constantly jumps on ya, unintentionally scratching ya to pieces and knocking ya down. I don't know how often he jumped into my face and my face, as I whined about before lol, is sore. Sigh! I never slept a wink between him, and the sore face, and the chills. I could not get warm. I shivered all night. I was convinced that the infection had spread and that I was becoming septic on top of everything else. "Negativity breeds more negativity". I was catatrophizing, let me tell ya. D. was left with the water problem without my help and he is in the midst of a COPD thing...O2 sats are way too low for my liking but he kept on like a trooper solving the problem. In my "negativity" I forseen him going into respiratory arrest at the bottom of the well and both of us ending up in ER with life threatening situations. It was crazy negative.
Anyway, my daugher had to sleep and I had to get my grandson out of the house before he discovered she was upstairs sleeping. Feeling the way I did ...was getting quite dizzy and weak...I couldn't drive him to the park like I promised. I had to arrange for someone else to come and get us and take us home here so I could lie down if I needed to. Also, so I could see if D. was okay and to assist with the plumbing. I also needed to get away from the dog. lol (And I love dogs! So, it pains me to say that.)
So, the house is in a frantic mess when I get home...dishes everywhere...bathrooms a terrible place to visit. We needed water!! So despite the way I felt, intensified by the heat and humidity, I did what I could to help D. pull pipes from the well etc while I kept my grandson entertained and away from the mess. It was exhausting...but ...after some trial and error...we got water back!!! Oh joyous day.
Automatically, with the gush of water through the taps I felt myself feeling somewhat better physically. I suddenly had less dizziness and more energy. Why? I was opening to that flow already in me. I was seeing that maybe Life wasn't out to get me...at least not all the time...which lightened the load on my shoulders. I felt less heavy. I truly felt better physically when I opened. I turned on all the taps to clear the pipes of air and debris both literally and figuratively.
Then when my grandson and I were playing with his trucks...so much more 'relaxed and present' than I was, my daughter comes up the stairs, no less than 30 minutes later, to say, "Why is water pouring from the ceiling?"
My heart sank. I ran down to the basement to discover sure enough...water was pouring from the ceiling. I didn't have too much time to think about the universe playing another cruel trick on me... but I do know that core belief was once again activated. I was closing. I ran around instead looking for the source of the water...wondering if we broke a pipe somehow somewhere...after about 15 minutes of searching, I discovered that I left one of the taps on and the sink the water was pouring into was clogged. So, 30 minutes of water flow was pouring over the side of the sink and down through the floor boards into the basement apartment...like a mini Niagra Falls. Sigh!
Once again, I shrugged my shoulders and looked up at the Source of all Life and said, "Really? I didn't have enough this week?"
Then I remembered that word I had been reciting for days, "Vairagya". I remembered that I didn't have to judge all this as good or bad; right or wrong; should be or shouldn't be. It just is. It doesn't have to have a colour. It is colourless or...maybe containing every magnificent colour of the rainbow all combined together to make no colour distinct. I remembered my mission to purify so I can remain open to everything Life throws my way.
What does undconditional well being mean? It means you are okay with everything. You remain open to everything. Michael Singer
I don't want to reamin one of the many humans on this planet that recites that adage: "When it rains it pours".
In Longfellow's poem, it goes like this
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.
I wanted to be one who knew :
Into every life a little rain must fall.
or as Longfellow put it:
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Wouldn't it be cool if we could do as Longfellow and Singer suggest (in a previous podcast):
How would you like to know that no matter what happens to you for the rest of your life you will be fine?
That remembrance of my mission helped me, an hour later, when the carpet had to be removed and thrown out because of an unfixable mess the children had made...I was able to do so with great vairagya.
Yeah, that is where I want to be...so, I keep watching Life do what it does and my reaction to it; I keep allowing; I keep learning; I keep growing; and I keep opening. Sigh! Isn't always easy but I am committed.
What about you?
All is well!
Your Daily Poem.com. The Rainy Day. https://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=147
Sri Swami Satchidanada (2011) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Intregal Yoga: Yoggaville
Michael Singer / Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( July, 2025) The Practice of Unconditional Openness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RpZ9_j12jU&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=3
