As the blockages release, the energy takes you to higher and higher states. You already know what the higher states are. The higher states are about love.They are about being really enthusiastic about your job and anything else you are doing. The higher energies are beautiful.
Michael A. Singer, 192
I am trying to absorb the last few chapters of this book. So I may be quoting a little too much from it to be considered copyright okay. Well I suppose I already infringed on those rights. Any time we quote like this we should have permission from the author, which I do not have. I am simply "assuming," that he, as an evolved teacher, won't mind if one unknown, inconspicuous and unimportant student sitting way in the back of the classroom shares her notes with someone else in class. :)
The Course is Set?
Anyway, these last two chapters are important because they speak to what Life can be like when Shakti is finally free to flow. I know I set "Peace from Purification" as my Pole star, the thing I am aiming for as I travel along these rough waters but sometimes it seems more like a lofty dream rather than a real possibility. It is good to hear that it is possible to attain this peace and to be told about what freedom from our samskaras really entails. I want those higher energy states in me. What about you?
I mean, I have tasted glimpses of them. For example, before Christmas I felt these energies starting to whir inside me. I was sailing my boat like a pro it seemed...happy and peaceful, full of love for everybody and everything. I could see my Pole star perfectly and felt I was right on course. I attributed some of this joy and enthusiasm , once again erroneously, to what was happening in the outside world. I had started a new little job and I was so enthused about it. I was needed once again and I could provide a service that was worthwhile while I met some of these personal physiological needs...(income) as well as the unnecessary psychological needs ( esteem, and purpose). It was exciting! Even though I knew better, I allowed myself to believe this new enthusiastic high was due to the fact that things were working out for me "out there". I made it conditional.
Winds Picking Up; Waters Getting Rough
Then opportunities suddenly slowed down at the same time this "me" slowed down. It was a double whammy. My body started acting up again, Life started acting up again...the suffering of the people around me intensified and I was called in to somehow "fix it" or at least alleviate some of the pain. I couldn't but the pressure to do so was suffocating. Others, at the same time, had to move back into this house increasing the demands of this "me" to provide and sacrifice "my" time, energy and space for. I was suddenly struggling financially again...and I recognized how this "me" was no longer needed as much in the small services I was providing. The little adventures I was so excited about only weeks before seemed to lose their oompf for me. So even when the calls came in...and they were few and far between...I began to play with reasons why I could not accept them ( Most of them legitimate). The samskaras which were naturally making their way up and out, as a result of this increase in energy flow, started getting triggered and bumped around. It seemed like too much. There was this growing resistance to the Life experience unfolding in front of me, as a result of all this. Then, I began to resist the resistance...loading my psyche down with guilt and shame over my inability to provide, and my unwillingness to accept and allow all the unwanted in. It became very messy, stormy and chaotic in here again.
Forgetting How To Sail
Now, I realize that this disturbance in me had little to do with what was happening out there. The high energy had stopped flowing because I closed down. I closed down because things were not the way I preferred them to be. I wanted things to be a certain way and they were not that way. My mind judged what was unfolding in front of me as bad, wrong and shouldn't be and in my attempt to push it away, I added even more samskaras to my samskara filled heart...I did this even though I am well aware of the mind's tendency to do this, knew the consequences of doing so and had committed to not doing this. I slipped. I went back into old mental patterns quite quickly when things got a little challenging on the outside. I realized that I really didn't know how to handle my boat on rough waters. I can easily open and stay open when things are going even a bit "good" out there but when the waters start getting a certain degree of rough again , I realize I am, as of yet, not a very skilled sailor. (Thus the poem a few days ago).
Anyway, reading about what Life is like when we let go of all these blockages so Shakti can flow freely through, has inspired me again to recommit to my journey, to do whatever I can to stay on course. I want to be able to handle my boat on bumpy waters , the same way I handle it on smooth. I don't want the waters to matter. Hmm! I want to stay open no matter what, allowing it all in! Why? Because I want the high states. I want that enthusiasm! I want it for you as well!
As you open up, life is no longer about seeking nonnegative states; it is about allowing ever-increasing positive states. Growth used to be about not feeling anger or anxiety anymore. Now it is about feeling so much overwhelming love when you wake up that you have trouble getting out of bed. Then the feeling of enthusiasm is so strong that it pulls you out of bed and propels you through your day. That is what it feels like when the energy is flowing.
Michael A. Singer, page 192.
I intend to stay open so that enthusiasm can flow through me once again, taking me higher and higher..
All is well.
Michael A. Singer ( 2022) living untethered. New Harbinger/Sounds True
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