Every single time you start to get disturbed, are you willing to relax and release? Or do you still need to go through another round of expressing and defending your blockages?
Michael A. Singer, living untethered, page 170
How do we get beyond this addictive tendency of the mind to express and defend our blockages? How do we learn to relax and release in the face of disturbance? Meditation is one of many tools that can help us do that.
Soften, Release and Relax
I make students mindful of a mantra throughout my yoga classes, but especially near the end and that is this: On every in breath we breathe in awareness and on every out breath, we breathe out a softening, releasing and relaxing. My intention is to have this mantra help soften , release and relax their bodies as they settle into each pose but also to have their minds soften, release and relax for the hour and hopefully longer. I want my students to strengthen in their ability to relax and release with all Life gives them. Maybe the mat, I tell myself, is where this ability will begin.
Teaching Meditation?
I am also a mindfulness and meditation teacher. I met all the course requirements in the program I took, which was offered by a professor with a PHd in psychology. I have a Certificate and everything.(As if that means anything in the big scheme of things lol) But, if you came to me and said, "Teach me how! Make me a meditator too". I would have to say, "Sorry, but I cannot do that. I can show you how I meditate, talk to you about what works for me and what doesn't, guide you through a session, talk to you about other practices that I studied in the course I took and in my independent practice, address the benefits, the obstacles and challenges of meditation that may arise but the only one who can make you a meditator, is you. It is not like teaching math. It is more like teaching "being". How does one make another a "be-er'"? Luckily, for you though, Michael A. Singer offers a chapter on Meditation in his book, living untethered. And I will tell you this, as he also explains in the book, meditation can change your life. If you want more clarity, more peace, less reactivity in your everyday approach to Life, meditation, as a tool, can help big time. "
Well that is how I would answer. :)
A Spiritual Practice?
We call meditation a spiritual practice but it is simply a practice of becoming a more peaceful human. The key word is practice. Why? Because one cannot expect a perfect transcendent awakening everytime they sit down or even anytime they sit down. It cannot be about that. It isn't about stopping all that busy chattering in the mind either. We will never stop thinking. The mind thinks. That is what it does. Meditation is more about being aware that the mind is thinking and being aware of this often forgotten truth: If we are aware of the mind thinking, we are aware that something inside us is aware. Let's tap into, "Who is aware?" instead of the thoughts and the story the mind wants to pull us into. Don't resist the thoughts...just notice that they are there. By noticing them we become aware of awareness.
Don't Resist: Soften, Release and Relax
So the thoughts are there and they "should" be there. Believing they "shouldn't be" is resistance and resistance is one of the biggest blockages to relaxing and releasing. A big part of meditation practice is being mindful and aware that you are thinking when you are thinking and instead of following those thoughts, giving them all your devoted attention and blind obedience until you are lost in them, in meditation practice we intend to simply step back a bit away from them and observe that we are thinking. We relax the body and mind to do that, without judgment or preference.
Whatever is going in there is fine-as long as you can objectively observe it. This is called mindful meditation. Page 168
Gaining Back Our Power of Attention
Then we take our attention away from the thinking mind onto something else. I use breath awareness, counting breath, my mala, a sankalpa, body scans and sometimes the words of others(guided meditation) to distract me from the addictive pull of mind stuff. We decide what we are going to put our attention on, not the mind. It is an empowerment exercise just as much as it is a relaxing one.
Is it going to be perfect?
No, it doesn't have to be perfect. Don't add unrealistic expectations to your practice. It is what it is, it will be what it will be. It's a practice...we get better at it as we go along. We are going to get lost in thoughts and mind stuff again and again...we just pull our attention away again and again. That's all. Sometimes we will be able to count our breaths perfectly without distraction ( if that is the method we are choosing) and other times we find we cannot seem to get past 10 breaths without losing focus. That's okay. We just catch ourselves and start over again until our time is up.
Willingness and Commitment is so Important
Like anything we practice we need a certain willingness to show up and a certain commitment to continue. Set a time for yourself...maybe 15 minutes twice a day and stick to it! I notice my commitment has been waning. I have been pulled away from my practice by life events and by the stories my mind was telling me about these life events. I often put my practice aside as a result. The more busy and stressful our lives are, the experts say, the more we should be meditating.
I know I need to recommit to twice a day for 20- 60 minutes. I really do. It has to be my daily priority. It will be!
All is well!
Michael A. Singer (2023) living untethered. New Harbinger/ Sounds True
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