What is the highest spiritual state that could possibly exist? You wake up in the morning and there is not a thing on your mind except the excitement and joy of having woken up again and there you are. You get up and go through your day experiencing what it is like to be spinning on a tiny little planet in the middle of nowhere, experiencing what happens to be happening on that planet in front of you at that moment. You have no fear. You have no anxiety. You have no hopes. You have no dreams. You have no beliefs. You have nothing….except your own being which is the being who knows that you are there.
Michael A. Singer
Can one make a living as a philosopher? Because I would happily become one right now...being I spend most of my waking time trying to understand the thinking mind so I can get beyond the thinking mind. I am so done with any Rene Descartes notions of, "I think therefore I am." I am coming to see that "I think" is keeping me from "I am." It is in the way. I want to get rid of "I think" so I can be "I am". Sigh! Still I would like to be paid to express how thought attempts to understand thought. Yes it would be nice to be paid to do what I do here...paid for something lol.
Looks like I am not going to make an income at my part time gig as I keep getting called away from it by life circumstance at a time the demand for the likes of "me" is diminishing. Any opportunity I may of had in the last little while was met by some resistance and often an outright , "No!" from Life. The yoga buz is not bustling either. I had to spend to set up my web page, get my license and therefore insurance from the alliance renewed...and a few little things to teach in the community ...plus the space I am renting . I am now in a bit of debt that will likely not be rectified by what I will make. I don't need to make a profit off of teaching yoga ...that was never my main goal but I prefer not to be in deep debt because of it. (There I am preferring something other than what is again). Since the creation of my little studio, I had it all worked out as to what it would cost to pay back the expected debt...and I could have done it no problem....even if I gave many of my classes away without charge like I tend to do...but ...COVID hit...and like it did for so many besides this little "me", it took away my students and then my income. Most never really returned ...so the debt remains. And there is so much to deal with besides the finances. These little jobs can no longer distract me from these issues and my body is starting to say , "No not having it!!!"
So I, as I philosophize on this, hear, in my head, a three way conversation going on between "me" as the human, Life and witness consciousness which I will call the Deeper I.
It goes a little like this:
Life: "Just witness and experience all that I offer you."
Human "me": " What the Fork Life? I am told I am just suppose to experience each fold of you unravelling in front of me but man can you take it a bit easier on me? Don't I have to pay the mortgage while I am witnessing? Am I suppose to be poor and homeless like a forest dweller? Is that where you are taking me? I would like to know what is next once in a while so I can prepare. You keep sucker punching me.
Life: You don't have to know what is next. You just need to experience what is in front of you unfolding right now and be okay with it....whatever it is. Just witness and experience all of me without judgement or preference. I will be what I am and you are graced with the opportunity to be a part of me.
Human "me": "Graced??? Well you are not making it easy to even like you. Is that my karmic duty then? To suffer? Is that why you won't let me catch a bit of a break in the finance department or the human dilemma department ? And you do this when the number of mouths to feed around here are increasing rather than decreasing as one would expect at this stage of life. When there are so many other things to deal with?Come on! "
Deeper I:" It is not about you Grasshopper. Remember that! "Me" is just a veil in a way of your being absorbed back into all I am. Do your best to get beyond the "self ", so you can fall back into "Self" while you remember that you are, as a body and personality, just one of 8 billion on a tiny planet in the middle of nowhere with the opportunity and honor of experiencing a slice of it all."
Human "me": Say what? A slice of what? Man, you guys talk in riddles. That's all fine and dandy but I am afraid this body and personality don't give a rats ass about ' falling back into witness consciousness 'when they have to to keep others and self alive. I need to survive on this planet in the middle of nowhere, don't I , if you as "Self" are going to experience any of it through me as "self"? I can't crack up from the pressure of being a human being wreaked with problems, can I? What good does that do anybody?
Life: There are no problems anywhere but in your mind. You create them. You are the problem!
Human Mind: WTfork? Give me a break!
Deeper I: I agree with Life, Grasshopper. From where I am, there are no problems either. Just love and peace and bliss. Life looks amazing from here.
Life: Awe...thanks Deeper I.
Deeper I: No problem. I can only speak the truth.
Life: Now little human mind and body, you blame me for your problems and for your unhappiness but I don't create problems. I just offer what is in its ever changing temporal form.
Deeper I: What is is pretty awesome from my point of view.
Life: (blushing) I offer you a slice of me to taste and to experience directly. But because you are not okay inside you neglect what I give you as "not good enough" and blame me for your so called problems. Then you seek to fix those "problems" by coming to me with a list of your hopes, dreams, beliefs and preferences. You cling to that list , reciting what is on it over and over again, as you try to twist and prod and move me around so it is more to your liking. Imagine you, one little blink of an eye in eternity, one tiny little soon to be expired form out of the 8 billion on this planet at this moment...thinking you can change all that I have always been just to make you feel okay inside. All that effort you and others put into doing so over the centuries and it didn't change me. Not one iota. Has it ever changed me? No. You cannot change me. I am simply unfolding and revealing all that you could be experiencing. Even if I did change to accommodate your pettiness, would that end your so called problems? No...you would just create more because your problems are not with me...they are with you.
Human me: What do you mean I create my own problems? I didn't choose any of this. I deserve more. I deserve something better than this. I deserve to be happy.
Life: Who is unhappy? Who wants to be happy?
Human "me": What???
Life: Who inside you is unhappy? Are you happy Deeper I?
Deeper I: Of course. I can be nothing but happy and blissful, perfectly okay with everything as it unfolds in me and around me.
Life: Deeper I is undisturbed. Deeper I is untouched by these things you want fixed.
Human "me": That is just great for Deeper I, but what about this human Deeper I is in? Human "me" is not so great with what is happening .
Life: If you fall back into who you are, you will experience what Deeper I experiences when it embraces me. True Love. Remember my dear...you are spirit having a human experience, not the other way around.
Human me: You are so annoying at times Life. Let me direct this to Deeper I: Deeper I, are you not supposed to be the wise one? Well do something to make me okay inside ....cuz you aint going to have a place to hang out for much longer if this keeps up. Let me tell ya! I am still responsible for this human part of us that needs shelter and food....right? We need a human mind that is not completely broken right? Life might not give a darn if this body succumbs...if the mind goes bonkers but is not some part of us suppose to do something about it. ...to keep it and others here as long as we can?
Deeper I: Can't you see, I don't care what happens to body and mind and you shouldn't either. You are putting so much energy into worrying about the body succumbing and the mind breaking when it is your worrying that is straining both, your efforting to make things different, your hoping and dreaming to be in some other moment, and your denial of the truth that is making you so sick and twisted. You as the human part of us are just a flash in the pan, my dear. Whereas I go on and on and on. The body and the personality are so, so finite...just a breeze blowing in and out. Our body is going to succumb eventually, our personality ( which is nothing more than a representation of that list you insist on carrying) is going to go with it. It may be today or it may be thirty years from now but it is going to happen. Why not let go, fall back into me and enjoy Life as Self while you can. Say, "I don't care what happens next", with me. Experience the awesomeness of it. Just let go of that list you are holding on to. There can never be true peace as long as you are clinging to it because you can never get to me with it.
Human "me" : Why would I ever want to get to you if you don't give a darn about "me"?
Deeper I: It is not that I don't have compassion and loving kindness for you . I just see what you are and I see what you have done in your confusion. You created a "me" that isn't real based on that list. You created so many blockages by not embracing the what is of things and wanting more. You are missing out on the amazing opportunity of truly living that you have been granted.. .
Life: Yes I would like to flow through but you are so blocked.I would like you to experience the joy I have to show you but you have to let me in.
Deeper I: You have created a veil between the two of us, a separation...and let's face it, you do not do well without me. I just want you to fall back into me so you can see in the clear way I see just how amazing this experience can be...so we can see that way as One. You are not that which you created and assumed yourself to be on the other side of the veil. You too, my dear, are Self!
Human Me: Hmmm! I don't know. I am soooo confused. You guys are so annoying! Maybe I will try falling back, only because I don't know what else to do. It sucks over here... but.... I am not ready to put down the list yet.
Life and Deeper I: ( sighing in unison) Well it's a start. When you are ready we will be here.
I have no idea what I wrote up there or why lol. I just wrote it. Inspired by the podcast below, I guess.
All is well.
Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe. (February 13, 2023) Exploring a Higher State of Being. https://tou.org/talks/
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