Does fulfilling your needs make you any happier than not fulfilling your needs?
Ram Dass
Wow! That is quite a question, eh? Most of us would be inclined to answer quickly with, "Of course it does. Why else would I be seeking to fulfill them?"
But let's look at that a little deeper.
When you get all the things you are seeking, when you have your belly full and a good's night sleep, when you have enough money in your accounts and are able to pay the bills without worry, when you get the car you wanted or move into the neighborhood you felt you "needed" to be in, when the kids are behaving and living just the way you "needed" them to....are you any happier? Sure you may be feeling pretty pleased with life and yourself when all these things fall into place but are you any happier? How long do you stay pleased with yourself before you discover there is something else you need "out there" to make your life fulfilled? So are you really happier when your needs get met...or just temporarily and very conditionally responding to what is in front of you?
Look into this question and answer honestly. Is our so called happiness dependent on the good coming in and the bad staying out of our conscious experience? So when my needs are not fulfilled, do I feel I have a "right" not to be happy?
Let's get something straight: We all have a right to feel whatever we feel... be it happiness or unhappiness. Are you more concerned with what you have a right to feel or what you could feel?
As long as you are only focused on getting little me's needs met...the less truely happy you will be. True happiness, is an inside game. It is not dependent on what is happening out there or what you as a personality and clump of flesh are going through...it is all about how unconditionally open you are to what life offers.
Sure having it easy for a while as we travel through one of those rare valleys offered by life circumstance...is nice! It feels good to look around and realize that everything is going smoothly, that at the moment you are experiencing little to no challenge getting your needs fulfilled. This is not necessarily true happiness, though, but a watered down conditional version of joy.
The question is: Are you going to feel this way when the circumstances change and the valley turns into a series of complicated mountains to climb, when getting your needs met seems next to impossible...when challenge once again unfolds in front of you? When we can experience joy and peace regardless if we are able to check all the boxes on our need to do or have list or not, when we can feel fulfilled even in the midst of hardship, challenge and difficulty...that is true happiness. Getting our needs met has little to nothing to do with it.
No level of pleasure from any material possession compares to the feeling of unconditional happiness.
Edmond Mbiaka
Hmmm! something to think about.
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